The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) (30 page)

The weight in my stomach disappears, and with it the wooziness, but I suddenly feel even more down than I did before. I want to leave, to get out of the Black Room and head back to my bed where I can crawl under the covers and be alone. But a glance at Tia tells me that would be unforgivable, so I steel myself, keeping my backside planted on the stool.

I sip my drink slowly, keeping my head down, eyes on the bar. I have to be here as Tia's friend, but that doesn't mean I have to make idle conversation with everyone else.

'Why are you over here by yourself?' Tia's familiar voice sounds over my shoulder and I force my mouth into what I hope is a smile.

'I was just waiting for you to do your rounds,' I smirk, ordering her a drink. 'So, Sir Alec marrying you, that should be fun.' I raise an eyebrow sarcastically.

'The most fun I've ever had,' She laughs, throwing her arm around my shoulders. 'How are you, Eve?' She looks deeply into my eyes, concern flashing across hers.

'Oh, I'm fine. Come on, I'm not talking about me tonight, this is about you.' I wave my hand dismissively and she studies me for an uncomfortably long time, her thin eyebrows furrowed. After a few moments, she smiles.

'Well, I suppose just for tonight...' She begins, trailing off her sentence as her eyes slip past me, focussing on something just over my shoulder.

'Tia,' A familiar voice sounds very close by. 'Eve.'

I turn, slowly, to face Malachy, my gaze settling on his ice blue eyes. His mouth is unsmiling, but he seems to sparkle beneath the bright stage lights, his skin so flawless I almost want to touch it, just to check that it's real.

I'm not sure if I've ever noticed quite how stunning he is. His eyes are shadowed in darkness, lending him a mysterious look, his cheekbones are razor sharp and set high above his strong jawline. He wears a crisp white shirt and black trousers, very formal aside from the electric blue tie around his neck. And his hair is, as usual, perfectly styled, a soft curtain of platinum blond strands falling neatly across his right eye.

'Malachy.' My voice is hoarse and I clear my throat self-consciously.

'Congratulations, Tia.' He smiles over the top of my head, and I feel a weird sense of deflation as his eyes leave mine.

'Thank you, Mal.' Tia's wind chime voice calls over the music and she leans across me to brush her lips against Malachy's cheek.

'He's a lucky man.' Malachy smirks, the small dimple in his cheek appearing, a rare but beautiful sight.

'I'll make sure he remembers it.' Tia winks, grinning happily.

'Eve,' Malachy repeats my name and I can't help but notice how much I like the sound of it on his lips. 'May I speak with you?'

'I was just going to head over to Arlinda, anyway,' Tia cuts in. 'Dress talk.' She explains, but I notice the sideways glance she gives me as she slips past.

'Is this a good idea?' I ask, my gaze sliding past Malachy to rest on Lucrezia, who seems – for the moment – oblivious to her brother's whereabouts. He glances up at her too, and shrugs.

'Probably not,' He admits. 'I just wanted to ask you how your... meeting went?'

'Oh, fantastic,' I reply sarcastically. 'I didn't manage to even graze the principal subject and ended up carrying her out of a stream, cutting the night a little short.'

Malachy frowns, not sure whether to laugh or be concerned. I put him at ease by laughing myself – if I don't, I'll cry.

'I'm guessing you may have to step it up a little?' He asks.

'Just a little.'

'May I show you something?' Malachy asks. His question feels loaded, heavy, and I stare into his bizarrely hypnotic eyes, trying to calm my breathing.

'Yes.'

'Come with me,' He urges, brushing my hand with his. I glance up once more at Lucrezia. 'Preferably before she sees.' He mutters. I nod, sliding quickly off my stool and following him out of the Black Room.

I keep pace behind him as he heads for the elevator, beckoning me inside before pushing the fourth floor. We ride the lift in silence until the doors ping open and he hurries out, striding along the corridor towards the oval shaped window at the end of the hall, the very same window where I first spoke to Lorna.

'This is Lorna Gray's favourite place in the Institute.' He informs me, keeping his voice low, his body alarmingly close to mine. I breathe in his cloves scent, letting it fill my senses.

'How do you know?' I ask, staring up at him in the pale moonlight.

'My room is there,' He states the obvious, pointing to his door only a few feet away. 'Lorna Gray is always here, staring out of this window. And I know why,' He says, pointing through the glass at the jagged rock, closest to the water's edge.

'She longs to stand there.' He says, gazing out of the window.

'There?' I frown at the seemingly ordinary rock. Malachy nods.

'It's the closest to freedom she could ever get without leaving the Institute,' He replies. I stare at the rock, slotting the puzzle piece into place.

'I've seen her staring at it for hours on end. Of course, she could never get there by herself. And Sir Alec would never allow her even if she was accompanied by her guard.'

'So you're saying...' I frown, attempting to make sense of it all.

'Take her there,' He urges me. 'I can't promise that it will change her mind, but it will certainly put you in her favour.'

'She might listen to me,' I breathe, daring to speak the impossible. Malachy nods, glancing around the empty corridor.

'Why are you helping me?' The question is out before I've properly considered it. Malachy blanches, shooting me a piercing gaze. He wavers, his confidence faltering as he shifts his feet uncomfortably.

'You promised you wouldn't ask me that.' He mumbles, taking a step away from me. I almost reach out to stop him; my body cries out at his distance, willing him to come back.

'You're right,' I breathe, attempting to control myself and my body's strange new urges. 'I'm sorry.'

'It's all right,' He nods, but maintains his cool distance as a frosty tone seeps into his voice. He's drifting away from me, his rare, friendly persona disappearing before my eyes, replaced by his robotic, autopilot self. 'Anyway, you should try to get her there as soon as poss – '

'Is it because I look like her?' My mouth seems to speak without my permission and I clamp a hand over it, my stomach lurching violently. Malachy jerks back as if he's been slapped, shock registering on his face. His eyes search mine, bewildered, not sure how to react.

I realise, too late, the extent of the damage I've done with that one simple question. I have betrayed Tia. I've not only spoken of something that's forbidden, I've spoken of something I ought not to even know of.

'What?' It's more a breath than a word but it's all Malachy can manage. My thoughts race, looking for an excuse, an alibi, anything to pretend I'm not talking about Aleks, but there's no point.

He knows who I meant.

'I-I'm sorry!' Is all I can stammer as Malachy backs away from me along the corridor, turning to hurry in the opposite direction.

'Malachy!' I call after him but he doesn't stop, he doesn't turn. His blond hair sweeps behind him as he takes the stairs, disappearing out of sight before I can utter another word.

I lean against the wall, my knees feeling weak, and use the window ledge to hold myself up. I have ruined everything. Malachy will no longer help me. He may even tell Sir Alec that I know about Aleks. That I can handle, I will bear the consequences of my actions and stupidity.

But so will Tia.

It will be apparently obvious who told me about Malachy's lost love.

Neither of them will ever speak to me again.

My head spins and I rake my fingers through my hair, dropping to my knees. I can not begin to contemplate the trouble I've gotten myself – and Tia – into.

I know instinctively that the tale of Aleks Anzhela is one that Sir Alec wishes to forget. One he'll do almost anything to bury.

'Shit!' I whimper, clutching the floor in an attempt to keep a hold on reality. 'Shit!' Malachy's face flashes through my mind, his eyes wide at my words:
Is it because I look like her?

How could I be so stupid? How could I allow my mouth to run away with me like that? How could I lose control of my head?

How will I explain to Tia the reason for our punishment?

Oh, sorry Tia, I can't seem to keep a hold on myself around Malachy Beighley, that's why I risked your life and mine for the sake of one stupid, idiotic, needless question.

What do I care if Malachy is helping me because I look like Aleks Anzhela? What difference does it make to me? I needed his help, he was providing me with it, why did I feel the need to compromise that?

'Fuck!' My anger at myself, at my moronic outburst, bubbles over and I lash out at the closest thing to me with my fist. The wall shatters before my eyes, plaster and paint flaking and billowing in a cloud around my head. A clean hole through the plasterboard, a jagged indent in the orange brick, my knuckles pristine aside from a little dust.

I stand to witness my vandalism, wondering how I'll explain the giant crater in the wall on the fourth floor corridor. The sound of my bone hitting the stone was loud, someone close by will have heard it. I scarper as fast as my legs will carry me. I'm a blur along the hall and only visible as I momentarily wait for the lift.

I don't know where I'm going until I get there; the music pounding from the Black Room is audible from two floors above and I scurry through the halls, following the noise. The doors are open, the hall even more crowded than when I left fifteen minutes ago. I scan the room for Tia's familiar face and spot it by the back wall, surrounded by Richard, Meredith and the Bermudez sisters, not to mention half of the third years.

I pray that her eyes will miraculously meet mine but she's engrossed in a conversation with Meredith, her lips moving fast. Her face is smiling and unconcerned, which makes the news I have to break to her all the more hard to spill.

I make a beeline for her, ignoring shouts of my name from passers by. She spots me as I near her and her face drops. She breaks away from Richard, from Meredith, and grips my arm, her amber eyes staring intensely into mine.

'What is it?' She asks, her breathing ragged.

'I have to speak to you.' I manage to force the words out and she nods, letting me lead her back through the crowd towards the entrance. Richard shouts her name and she holds a hand up to him as I drag her away.

'Give me a minute, Richard.' She calls back, closing the doors behind us as we step out into the cool corridor. We move away from the Black Room, towards the window at the end of the hall and she turns, gripping my wrists, almost pinning me to the wall.

'What's happened?' She demands, her face full of concern, her eyes worried. Worried for me.

'I – ' I stammer, wondering how exactly to word the news that we are both utterly screwed. 'I fucked up.'

'Fucked up?' Tia raises an eyebrow.

'I don't know how it happened, exactly...' I stall for time, beating around the bush.

'How what happened?' She drops her hands, her posture suddenly turning a little aggressive.

'Malachy... we were at the window, he was helping me...' My sentences won't string together to make sense. I try to back away from Tia's newly menacing expression but find my back pressed against the wall.

'What happened?' Her voice changes, a tone I've never heard her use before; a low, intimidating growl. The sound is in complete disproportion to her face and I almost have to glance around to make sure it was really her.

'I – I let slip...' The words are barely out of my mouth before Tia screams, slamming the palm of her hand on the wall beside my head. Her face twists and contorts into an expression of rage and I feel my stomach twist into knots.