The Gray Institute (The Gray Institute Trilogy Book 1) (31 page)

'Your next words better not be 'about Aleks',' She warns. My silence coupled with my shrinking posture tells her all she needs to know. 'Are you serious?!' Her voice is a high pitched shriek and I try to hush her.

'Tia, keep it down, people will hear – '

'Don't tell me to keep it down!' She slams her palm against the wall again, even closer to my head.

'Okay, okay.' I attempt to calm her but she's beyond help.

'Don't tell me to keep it down!' She repeats, even louder than the first time and I shout just to be heard.

'Okay!'

'How could you be so fucking stupid, Eve?' She growls. I flinch – Tia never swears. I hear Richard's footsteps as he closes the Black Room doors, heading in our direction.

'What the hell's going on?' His Scottish accent sounds harsher than usual and I poke my head around Tia to address him. 'Are you two having a lover's tiff or something? The whole bloody hall heard you,' He nods to Tia, making a tense joke.

'This is no joking matter, Richard,' Tia retorts, her rage flaring again. 'Eve has got us into a lot of shit!' She turns accusingly to me and I sigh, holding my hands up in defeat. It seems there is no reasoning with Tia and quite frankly, I can't blame her.

'Look, I don't know what happened. One minute we were talking and the next – '

'You lost control, like usual!' She snaps. I frown, my eyes darting back and forth between her and Richard.

'What?'

'Don't think I haven't noticed it,' She scoffs. 'I know you, Eve. I've seen the way you lose control around him. It's like you morph into a weird version of yourself.'

'I do not!' I retort, feeling suddenly offended, mainly because I know Tia is right. I'm shocked that she's noticed, though, and even less willing to admit it.

'No, you know what I'm talking about. You always react to him; the first time you met when you almost took a swing at him in the corridor, the way you tense up every time he comes into the common room, how much it irritates you when he does something arrogant,' She lists. 'But you'll have to square with that some day on your own. Right now, you need to start brainstorming a way to get me out of shit. Out of the mess that
you
created!'

'Okay, I know,' I sigh. 'I'll talk to him first thing in the morning – '

'No, you sort this now! Right now! There's over twelve hours 'til morning, that'll give him plenty of time to run to Sir Alec.'

'We don't know he
will
run to Sir Alec.' I reason, deserving a snort from Tia.

'Yeah, okay. Let's sit here and pray that he's so enamoured by you that he won't tell Sir Alec,
the headmaster
, that you and I broke the rules. Let's hope that after, what? Two weeks of knowing you properly? He'll cast his duties as future Auctorita aside and just let this one slide.'

'Jesus, Tia,' I breathe, hurt by her harsh words, even though I deserve them. 'I'll talk to him, I'll go right now.'

'You do that.' She snarls, giving me a shove in the direction of the elevator.

'What the hell are we talking about here?' Richard is completely aghast, his brows furrowed in concentration.

'Malachy.' Tia spits his name, as though
he
is the one who wronged her.

'No, shit, did you sleep with Malachy?' Richard turns to me, his eyes wide. I stop in my tracks, blanching, and, although Tia is livid at me, she still meets my eyes with a look of disbelief.

'How the hell did you come to that conclusion, Richard?' Tia snaps, turning to face him.

'Well, I just... 'cos you said that she 'lost control' around him.' He makes bunny ears with his fingers and I almost smile as Tia refrains from slapping him.

'Just... for God's sake,' Tia sighs. 'Eve, you go. And you,' she grips Richard's shoulders. 'Shut up and walk with me, I'll explain on the way.'

'We're not going back to our party?' Richard frowns, and Tia shakes her head, casting a glance back at me.

'No, it's been ruined.' She snipes before pulling Richard hastily along the corridor.

'I'm sorry! Jesus!' I yell at no one in particular as I lean my head against the elevator doors, waiting for them to open. My second meeting with Malachy in just one night, except this time, there is no-one in the world I'd hate to see more.

Chapter Twenty

The elevator ride to the fourth floor is shorter than I'd like. The breaks judder to a halt and the unwelcome sound of the doors chime open to reveal an empty corridor. I force myself to step outside, but walk no further than the edge of the threshold, leaning back against the doors as they close behind me. The cool metal on the back of my head is soothing and I gaze fearfully along the hall to the end of the passage. The door on the farthest right is closed, but is the only room on this floor occupied.

I sense Malachy's presence even from this distance and I'm relieved that he's alone. I half-expected Lucrezia to have noticed his absence by now and gone looking for him.

His solitude is of little consolation, however, when I remember the reason I'm here. The subject I need to discuss is enough to make me run for the hills, but I force my feet to stay firmly planted. I can not, however, force them to move.

I have no beating heart to hammer in my chest, so my breathing compensates; racing in and out of my lungs, though the need to breathe is merely psychological. Again, Malachy's expression when I leaked my knowledge of his ex-girlfriend slices through my mind and I groan inwardly.

As it happens, I needn't make the effort to approach his door as it swings open unexpectedly. He doesn't seem surprised` to see me and leans against the door frame, his arms folded across his chest, eyes narrowed in my direction. I glance around for an excuse to be loitering in the corridor but with one sweep of his gaze, I know it would be pointless. 

Malachy says nothing and doesn't step aside to allow me entrance. I jump as the elevator churns into motion behind me, its carriage heading up to retrieve passengers from another floor. The odds of them stopping at this particular exit are high, and they'll wonder why I'm stood suspiciously in the corridor with Malachy leaning against his door frame.

He realises our dilemma at the same time I do and – with a reluctant hand gesture – beckons me inside. I hurry towards him, avoiding eye contact as I slip past into his room. I hold my breath, attempting to avoid his infatuating cloves smell, but it persistently makes its way through my nose and into my throat, sending my head spinning.

I hear the click of the door's catch behind me and hesitate before turning to face the one person I wish to avoid above all others. He's clearly not thrilled to be around me either; his jaw clenches beneath his skin, his stature is awkward and stiff.

His room is unchanged, the bed still neatly made, every book and DVD case systematically in its place. He's either OCD clean or spends very little time here. He clears his throat, making a display of it, desperate to hurry my unwelcome visit.

'I – ' My voice fails me as his pale eyes flicker to my face, hurt and accusing. It's a hard sight to see. 'I owe you an apology.' I speak too fast, desperate to be rid of the sentence. He raises an eyebrow, his gaze steely.

'You owe me an apology?' He repeats, and I nod, wincing at the cold tone of his voice. 'For what?' He spits. 'For Tia relaying to you a story she was forbidden from telling?'

I shuffle my feet uncomfortably, my insides twisting at the sound of his authoritative voice. I haven't heard him speak to me – or indeed anyone – this way for a while, and I'm shocked and hurt that he's treating me as if I'm a stranger. He looks through me, as though I'm not here, and I realise in that moment that I'm nobody to him. I never was.

It's suddenly clear to me that I've read far too much into Malachy's gestures, and subconsciously allowed myself to believe he was doing it all for me. But the truth is that I'm simply a reminder of a girl he once loved, and he took pity on me when I found myself in an impossible situation.

There is nothing more.

I feel instant, burning shame at my stupidity. At the notion that Malachy may have... what? Felt something for me?

What should it matter to me if he does? I feel nothing for him. At least not in that way. He's an Auctorita child; bound by duty and tradition, far too important to be involved with the likes of me.

I almost laugh at myself.

'I forced it out of her.' I state simply, focussing on my mission to absolve Tia of blame.

'How? You tortured her?' He cocks an eyebrow sarcastically.

'Emotionally, I suppose,' I admit with a shrug. 'I blackmailed her.'

Malachy crosses the room to stand before the window. He has a beautiful view – not surprising given his status – of the crashing sea upon the rocks. A deserted and disused lighthouse is visible in the near distance, a sinister silhouette against the night sky.

His back is to me and I take the opportunity to position myself a little less awkwardly behind him.

'You blackmailed her into telling you something you shouldn't have had the vaguest knowledge of in the first place? How did you manage that?' He asks, not turning to face me and instead, projecting his sarcasm against the window.

'I asked her to tell me about you.' I shrug. He nods thoughtfully before finally turning to meet my eyes.

'I don't buy it,' He says with a slight shake of his head. 'She could have simply told you about my background and left that forbidden piece of information out. And, knowing Tia Carey, that's what she would have done.'

'All right,' I sigh, throwing my arms up. 'You want to know the truth?' I raise my eyebrows and he signals for me to proceed.

I take a deep breath, not asking permission before sinking down onto his bed. The sheets smell of him and I subconsciously brush the material smooth with the palm of my hand.

'Your act – this little façade you put on – ' I gesture to his stance; closed off, out of reach. 'You don't perform it as well as you think you do.'

'Meaning?' He frowns. I sense I've riled him, though he remains, for the moment, composed.

'Meaning; everybody sees through it!' I slap my hands against my thighs in exasperation. 'Nobody is buying it, Malachy. That thing you do around your sister? That bitchy, 'I'm better than all of you', cold, arrogant thing that you do? It's fake. We all know it.'

'Why don't you say how you really feel?' He asks sarcastically. I blow air out through my mouth in contempt.

'You're not listening to me,' I grit my teeth, frustrated. 'You
aren't
cold, arrogant and pig-headed, you just pretend to be around Lucrezia. When you're away from her you're... different.' I stop myself before my mouth runs away with me again.

'How so?' He asks, his posture still guarded though I know I've hit a nerve and he's panicking.

'You're the opposite of all that. You're... down-to-earth, nice, friendly. Good to be around.' I avoid his eyes.

'You hardly know me.' He snorts, looking down his nose at me. I feel a surge of anger as I watch him. Since realising that his act is fake, it infuriates me even more when he uses it on me. It's like talking to a robot, a character in a cartoon – it's not real.

'True, I hardly know you. Nobody does, save Lucrezia. Yet everybody knows you put on an act around her. You're not so subtle, Malachy, though she's obviously too stupid to work it out.'

'Don't talk about things you know nothing of.' He takes a step forward and for the first time, I witness genuine anger. Not like the time on the stairwell, not like when he walked away from me earlier – this is different.

'You don't have to defend her around me. I'm not going to run and tell anyone,' I squeak, suddenly intimidated. 'Look, your relationship with your sister is your own. I'm just saying that everybody knows you're not yourself around her. I knew almost instantly, and that's what I asked Tia that night. I asked her why you put on this little charade. What the reason behind your schizophrenia is. And she told me hers – and everybody else's – opinion.'

'Is that so? The Institute has resorted to playground gossip?' He snipes. I shrug.

'Don't take it out on me. Sir Alec's banishment of your ex-girlfriend obviously wasn't too subtle or nobody would have guessed that it's the reason for your split-personality.' I regret the words the moment they've left my mouth, but it's too late to take them back. I'm in way over my head, talking about things I have no knowledge of and no right to speak about. I sound like a spoilt teenage girl who thinks she knows it all when in reality, she hasn't got a clue.

'Get out.' His voice is low and I feel a cold shiver run down my spine at his menacing tone. My body goes into a state of panic at the thought of upsetting Malachy, and a stupid part of me wants to throw myself at his feet and beg him to forgive me, to stop speaking to me like I'm a stranger and go back to the Malachy I've come to know.

But, as with my parents, my pride gets in the way.

'Fine,' I mutter, standing and heading to the door. With my hand on the knob, I turn back to him, remembering the reason I'm here.

'Look, this is my fault. Tia told me the story, yes, but I blackmailed and bribed it out of her. She didn't want to and wasn't comfortable with it. I've spoken to nobody about it and she regrets telling me; she's terrified that it'll have repercussions on her.

I know you owe me no favours – quite the opposite – but will you please spare her any punishment?' I plead him with my eyes, though he doesn't look at me.

'I harbour no ill will towards Tia. I know it's out of character for her.' He replies cryptically. I hesitate.

'That doesn't quite answer my question...'

'I won't grass her up, okay?' He snaps, turning away from me. 'Will you just leave?'

My heart sinks at his words and I turn the handle, opening the door a fraction. An ache spreads across my chest at the thought of leaving his company. Even though he's mad at me, and clearly never wants to speak to me again, I still want to be around him.

I slip through the door and close it quietly behind me, stepping aside and leaning against the cold paintwork. My breaths are ragged and a hot, prickly sensation is breaking out across my skin.

I haven't felt more human since being changed.

What is it about Malachy Beighley that makes me act this way? He's right, I hardly know him, so why do I allow him to affect me so much?

I'm pretty certain that I don't feel for him romantically, I don't know him well enough for that. So why does he 'morph me into a weird version of myself' as Tia said?

All I know is that I dislike being away from him, especially now there's bad blood between us. I hate not knowing when – or indeed if – I'll speak to him again and the thought that I might never sends me into a frenzy of panic.

This is so unlike me.

Which is why, even as my hand reappears on the door knob, I'm screaming at myself to turn and leave, go away like he asked, get on with my imperative task and stop wasting time.

'Malachy?' I startle him out of a deep thought – unusual for an Immortal – and he looks irritated to see me back in his room. 'I'm sorry,' I mumble, closing the door behind me.

'Jesus, Eve.' He shakes his head in disbelief and I feel embarrassed for myself.

'I know! I know you asked me to leave you alone and I will, just hear me out,' I plead. He sighs, perching on the edge of the window ledge, reluctantly listening.

'I'm sorry, alright? What I said was out of line, I know that. And I'm sorry for prying into your personal life. I shouldn't have asked Tia about you, I was just curious. You intrigue me.' I admit, glancing away quickly as his eyes meet mine.

There's an awkward silence.

'It's alright,' He says finally and I let a breath out. 'I suppose I don't really care who knows. I have nothing to be ashamed of. But I won't be asked about it.' He refers to Aleks and I nod hastily.

'Of course not.' I reply, racking my brains for something else to say, anything, to stall time with him.

'You intrigue me, too.' He breaks the silence and I glance at him, expecting to see the back of his head, but instead, his gaze is steadily fixed on mine. My breath catches in my throat and I try to swallow it down, feeling a lump lodge there instead. I'm hot and flustered, trying to think of what to say.

'Lucrezia will be wondering where I am. She'll come looking for me,' He breaks the uncomfortable silence. 'And you ought to be getting on with your task.' He reminds me. I sigh at the mention of my stupid task. Perhaps the reason I like being around Malachy so much is that, on occasion, he makes me forget about my predicament with Lorna Gray.