The Greatness Guide, Book 2: 101 More Insights to Get You to World Class (14 page)

So many thought leaders counsel us to avoid living in the past. “Live in the now,” they advise. “Enjoy the moment.” “The past is a grave.” Well, I get what they are saying. But isn’t there something good about going back and delighting in the delicious moments of the journey so far? And in learning from all we’ve experienced?

Which brings me to worry versus reflection. Whether you should revisit the past, to my mind, depends on your intention. If your intention in and reason for going back into your past is to dwell on bad experiences and to worry over things you cannot change and to rehash painful times, then I suggest it’s an unhealthy act (a complete waste of time, actually; just keeps you stuck). But, if your intention is to reflect on the lessons that events have taught you and to grow in wisdom and to savor the precious memories that you were blessed enough to experience, well, then I think that’s a good thing. Because you are letting your past serve
you.
And make you better.

I guess what I’m inviting you to consider is that it’s a waste of time to fret over and regret things you’ve done that cannot be changed. But it’s an intelligent use of time to bask in the good
times, feel gratitude for them and use even the challenging times of your personal history to leverage your future success.

I took my kids to see Hilary Swank’s movie
Freedom Writers.
It inspired me deeply. Brought tears to my eyes. Made me want to be and do and give more. Made me want to improve things. Profoundly.

One of the things I took away from the film is that leadership is all about believing in others (and yourself) when no one else does. The kids in the movie were gang members. Tough lives. Hard hearts. But their teacher saw them for what they truly were: smart/good/caring human beings who’d been knocked down and had given up. The school wouldn’t even give them new books—didn’t think they were worth it. But their teacher did. Treated them with respect. Bought the books herself (worked two extra jobs to do it). She challenged them. Celebrated them. Believed in them. And they transformed. Because when you see the best in people, they’ll give you their best.

I’ve seen it happen in organizations around the world. Develop, honor and inspire people, and they will fly. As the wonderful teacher Leo Buscaglia once said, “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring—all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Imagine Lance Armstrong stopping his spectacularly disciplined daily practice regimen and still hoping to win the Tour de France. Imagine Steve Nash giving up his crushing daily workouts and post-game analyses and still expecting to be in his finest form. Just think about Tiger relaxing his extraordinary commitment to never-ending refinement and improvement of his golf game. Ridiculous, you say. And yet how many of us, on the playing field of business and life, are devoted to consistent daily practice? Few.

How can you get better if you don’t practice? Success doesn’t just occur. Brilliant results don’t just show up by chance. The finest things in life take patience, focus and sacrifice. To get to world class, you need to work at it. Daily. Relentlessly. Passionately.

Just hoping you’ll get to great as a leader (and human being) is nothing more than magical thinking. It’s a waste of time. Remember the 1 percent wins. A
few little improvements each day, the result of your daily practice, amount to staggering results over time.
Athletes get better through practicing their sport. Leaders get
better by cultivating their craft. By elevating their skills. By deepening their impact. By consciously stepping toward their mountaintops. Until they get there.

I’m rereading an excellent book called
What Happy People Know,
by Dan Baker, a psychologist and the director of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch. I want to share a few of his words with you, on the subject of optimism and dealing with life’s trials elegantly and with grace.

When he was younger, his newborn son died. That event devastated him and plunged him into dark despair. In the book he writes of his lessons and says that through his challenges, “I learned what optimism really is: it’s knowing that the more painful the event, the more profound the lesson. There are so many lessons in this life we just don’t want to learn. You just can’t tell someone these things and expect him to become wise. Wisdom only comes the hard way.”

Profound words. Perhaps the things that break our hearts are the very things that serve to open them. Pain can serve us so well (if we choose to learn the lessons that it carries). And just maybe life’s greatest challenges present its biggest opportunities.

Watched a road crew at work this morning while walking Colby to school. The team leader was having a bad day. A bus driver was hitting her horn because a traffic barricade was slowing her down. The team leader yelled, threw a fist into the air and then kicked over the barricade. One angry man.