The Happiest Day (29 page)

The year flew by. 
Alan graduated from high school and chose to enter the Navy rather than going
to college.  The children finished another year of school and spent the summer
in their own pursuits.  David and Matthew worked for Rachel at the newspaper,
Lorraine took a job as a candy striper at the hospital, Steven spent his time
at the stables training a new horse, and the three younger children generally
ran wild.  The entire family, including Bert and Rose, vacationed at the beach
house in South Carolina.  Rachel had never felt more content or satisfied with
her life.  Fall arrived and they began preparing for the holidays.

Then December 7
^th
came and their entire world changed.  Rachel was unable to leave the newspaper
due to the rapidly unfolding events, so the family came to her.  They sat with
her in the printing department with her employees as they all gathered around
the radio.  Rachel saw Lorraine come in from work, still in her uniform, her
face pale.  She scanned the room and headed for David.  He was sitting on a
table, his face set in stone, and his hands clenched.  He looked up when
Lorraine approached him and his face softened.  He held out his arms and she
went into them, burying her face in his chest.  Rachel watched them for a
moment, aware that their apparent burgeoning relationship did not bother her as
much as it had a year ago.  They had woken up this morning to a new, scary
world and she didn’t feel she had the right to prevent anyone from seeking
solace or love.

“What does it
mean, Mommy?” Lily asked.  She was ten years old and frightened by the events
of the day.  She slipped her hand into Rachel’s, her eyes wide.  “Is Hitler
going to kill us?”

“Of course not.” 
Rachel pulled Lily up against her.  “Your father and I will take care of all of
you, like we always have.”

“What about Alan?”
Steven asked and the room grew quiet.

Alan had worked
the past four summers at the newspaper and was liked and respected by all.  All
eyes turned to Bert, where he sat in the corner, his daughter sitting with
him.  Their hands were clasped.

“Where was he the
last time you heard from him, Bert?” Peter asked.

“South Pacific,”
Bert said shortly.  “It’s going to be all right.  I’m not going to assume the
worst.”

“Alan is fine,”
Rose said with conviction.

“We’ll all pray
for him,” Lorraine said walking over to hug her friend.

The next day,
though, war was officially declared and Rachel feared that nothing was ever
going to be fine again.  Christmas was muted and joyless.  Then in March, 1942,
came word that Alan had been taken prisoner of war.  Rachel watched Bert age a
decade in just one afternoon.  His shoulders sagged as he sat in Rachel’s
office, the telegram hanging in his fingers.

“I can’t lose
another person I love.  He and Rose are all I have left of Maryanne.”  His
voice broke.  “If he dies, I let her down.  That’s the last thing she said to
me.  ‘Take care of the children.’  If he dies, she’ll know I failed.”

“He’s not going to
die and you haven’t failed anything,” Rachel said firmly.  “He’s a prisoner of
war.  He’ll be treated humanely.”

“I don’t trust the
Japanese,” Bert said bluntly.  “God, what if they’re torturing him?”

“You’re not doing
yourself any favors by thinking these things.  We have to stay positive.”  She
looked over at Peter and knew that he would agree to anything she decided,
especially when it came to their friend.  “I want you and Rose to come stay
with us.”

Bert looked up,
dazed.  “What?  What do you mean?”

“This family needs
to be together at a time like this,” Rachel explained.  “I want the two of you
to live with us, at least for now.”

“I couldn’t impose,”
he shook his head.

“Think of Rose,”
Peter said.  “Think of how lonely and scared she must be.  It would be a good
thing for her to be with her cousins.  They’ll keep her mind occupied so she
doesn’t have time to worry herself sick.”

The thought of his
daughter swayed him.  “All right.  I’ll call her and have her start packing.” 
Rachel knew she had made the right decision when she saw some of the tension
leave Bert’s shoulders.

They moved in that
evening and Peter made the announcement to the rest of the family.  “Uncle Bert
and Rose are going to be staying with us for a while.  We need to come together
as a family and be there for each other.  I’m afraid that we received bad news
today.  Alan’s ship was attacked and he has been taken prisoner of war by the
Japanese.”  Silence descended as the family was frozen, trying to assimilate
the news.  Then, Lily burst out crying and Rose pulled the younger girl onto
her lap. 

“He’s going to be
all right,” Rose assured her.  “We just have to keep praying.”

David pounded his
fist on the table, shocking everyone.  “I hate this war!” he shouted.

Peter stood and
laid a hand on his son’s shoulder.  “These are hard times but we have to stay
calm.  That’s all we can do.”

David shook his
father’s hand off.  “That’s not all I can do,” he bit out.  “I’m enlisting
tomorrow.”

“The hell you
are!” Peter bellowed, showing a rare flare of temper.

Laurie stood as
well.  “Let’s all just calm down.  We’re emotional and overwrought.”

David inhaled
deeply.  “Please listen to me.  I have to register for the draft in two months,
anyway, and we all know that I’ll be called up, eventually.  I’d rather take
control of my own destiny instead of sitting around waiting.”

“I don’t want you
to go!” Lily wailed.

Rose stood,
bringing Lily with her.  “Why don’t I take Lily upstairs?  I’ll read a book to
you.”

Lily knew she was
acting like a baby and was ashamed of herself, but couldn’t seem to stop
crying.  She nodded and allowed Rose to lead her away.  Peter looked at Steven,
Adrian, and Teddy.  “I know you won’t be happy about this, but we need to talk
to your brother.  Could you three excuse us?”

“What about
Matthew?” Steven asked, his feelings hurt.

Matthew was their
calm thinker, their pacifist.  Rachel knew Peter wanted him to stay to sway his
brother.

Laurie motioned to
the younger boys.  “Come on, the three of you.  Let’s say we try to find
something worth listening to on the radio.”

That left Lorraine,
and by the look on her face, Rachel knew that would not be able to convince her
to leave.  She hoped that the girl would have some power over her first born.

Peter sat down. 
“It’s true that you have to register for the draft in just a few months.  We
will deal with that when it happens.  I just don’t see any point in rushing the
inevitable.”

“And I don’t see
any point in sitting here waiting for the inevitable,” David argued.  “Dad, you
and Uncle Bert were in the war.  Why-”

“Don’t!” Peter
snapped.  “War isn’t some kind of god-damned legacy!  Yes, we were in the war
and it was a fucking hell.”

“Peter,” Rachel
murmured, willing him to stay calm even though her own insides were in turmoil.

“No, he wants to
act like he’s a man and compare himself to me, then fine.  I’ll tell him about
the things I saw and the things I had to do.  David, are you prepared to kill a
man?  To look a man in his eyes and shoot him or stab him?”

“As ready as any
other man who has never been to war,” David said stonily.  “My cousin is
sitting in a prisoner of war camp.  How do you expect me to wake up every day
in a mansion and have my hot breakfast served to me, right before I go off and
ride my horse or lounge in the garden?  Is that the type of man you wanted to
raise, Dad?”

“I don’t think
that you have to give your life as some sort of sacrifice to ensure Alan’s
safety,” Peter shot back.  “This is not open for discussion.  You will not
enlist early.”  He got up, his chair falling back, and left the room.

Rachel sighed and
stood.  “I’d better go talk to him.”

“I’m sorry, Mom,”
David said.  “I really am.  I am serious about this, though.”

Rachel could only
nod and send a pleading look at Matthew and Lorraine.  She left the three teens
alone with Bert, who had yet to speak.

“I don’t want you
to go,” Lorraine said softly, her hands clasped in front of her.

“I’m going one way
or the other, you know that,” David argued.  “Uncle Bert, you haven’t said a
word.  What do you think?”

“I respect your
feelings.  I really do, Dave.  You’ve turned into the type of man that your
parents intended on raising.”

“Dad is so mad at
me.”

“He’s not mad,
he’s scared.  We’re all scared.  He’s right about something, too.  Just because
he served in a war, that doesn’t mean that he wants you to.  We’ve been there. 
It’s barbaric.  It sucks your soul.  When you try to sleep at night, you see
the faces of all the men you killed.”

“I came from war,”
Lorraine added.  “Your Uncle Bert is right.  It’s a horror that I’ll never
forget.”

“It’s because of
you that I’ve been thinking of doing this,” was David’s surprising answer. 
“The way your family suffered—we can’t let this continue, this destruction of
the world.  I’ve got to do my part.  The news tonight just made me sure that I
am right to enlist now.”

“Dad won’t let
you,” Matthew said.  “I understand what you’re saying, but he won’t let you.”

“Finish school,”
Bert advised.  “Reality is going to set in soon enough.  David…”  Bert’s voice
broke a little and he swiped at his eyes.  “We don’t know how this thing with
Alan is going to end.  This family has been through so much…I don’t know if we
can handle losing two of you.”

Those were the
words that hit the mark.  David was quiet and they could tell that his mind was
picturing his parents receiving news of his death.  Lorraine’s hand crept
across the table and clasped his.  “Stay…for now,” she implored.

Upstairs, Peter
was still raging.  Pacing back and forth, he was having difficulty controlling
his emotions.  “That stupid kid!  What in the hell is he thinking of?  He
should be hitting his knees and thanking God that no one can make him go.”

“Yet,” Rachel said
quietly.

He froze and
looked at her with raw emotion.  “Rae, I can’t lose a child.”  He sank to the
bed.  “In two years, if this damn thing is still going on, we’ll have to watch
Matthew go.  Then two years later, Steven.  Am I really expected to give up three
sons?  How can we do that?”

“I imagine this is
how Norris and Helen felt.  I know that I felt the same terror twenty-five
years ago when you and Bert left.”

“I’m sorry.  I
never thought that it felt this god-awful.”

Rachel slid over
and wrapped her arms around him from behind.  “We have to keep the faith.”  She
laid her head on his shoulder and they rocked together silently.

A knock at the
door came and David tentatively poked his head into their room.  “May I come
in?”

“Of course,”
Rachel said.

He entered the
room, looking somewhat shame-faced.  “I’m sorry, Dad.  I was only thinking of
myself and not how the family would feel about my decision.”

“I’m sorry, too,”
Peter responded.  “I over-reacted.  You’re a man trying to make adult
decisions.  I just don’t know that I’m ready for it.”

“I’ll wait until
I’m eighteen to enlist.  From there, we’ll just have to take it one day at a
time.”

However, it was
barely three months after he turned eighteen that David received his notice. 
The new high school graduate put aside his dreams, kissed his family good-bye,
and got on a train for basic training.  He was told that it would be months
before he was shipped to England but as far as the family was concerned, he was
already gone.

The next three
years were almost a blur to Rachel.  They rarely heard from David, and the
letters he did send were brief and void of real information.  Each time a
missive arrived, however, the family was almost giddy with relief only to wake
up the next day to start the entire cycle of worry over again.  Matthew
followed his brother in the late spring of 1944 and time seemed to stand
still.  The rest of the children, ranging in age from Lily at thirteen to
Lorraine at seventeen, all did their part for the war, volunteering for
different efforts and writing their brothers letters, not knowing if they were
ever received.

Although it had
been two years since they had learned that Alan had been taken prisoner, they
received no further information.  Bert had sold his house, he and Rose deciding
to live permanently at the estate.  Rose worked hard at the university to
become a nurse, her intent to work at on a hospital ship for the Navy.  Bert
had difficulty accepting that he would give up another child to the war, but
understood her need to follow her brother’s steps in her own way.

Lorraine was a
blessing to Rachel.  She was quiet and introverted but helped with the running
of the estate and the daily care of the younger children.  At the beginning of
1945, Rachel came home from work late one night and found Lily sitting on the
front steps, her face worried.

“I’m so glad
you’re home,” she said, meeting her mother at the car.  “Lorraine is in the
chapel crying.”

Rachel’s heart
dropped and she felt faint, leaning against the side of her car.  “Did a
telegram come?”

Lily’s face was
pale and pinched.  “I’m not sure.  She had a piece of paper in her hands but
she wouldn’t tell me what it was.”

“Oh God,” Rachel
breathed.  “Where is your father?”

“He had a dinner
meeting.  He called and told Smythe he’d be late.  Mama, what if…?”

“Let’s not think
the worst,” Rachel advised but wasn’t sure she could take her own advice. 
“I’ll go talk to her.”

She gave Lily her
briefcase and hurried to the chapel.  Lorraine was indeed crying, sitting in
the first pew, her head bowed.  Her fingers clutched a piece of paper to her
chest.

“Lorraine, what is
it?” Rachel asked, sitting next to her. 
Please God,
she prayed. 
Don’t
let it be so.

Lorraine looked
up, her eyes red and swollen.  “I heard from David.”

It wasn’t a
telegram.  Rachel heaved a sigh.  “Is he all right?”

She nodded.  “He’s
tired, hungry.  He wants to come home.”

Rachel closed her
eyes briefly, picturing her son, suffering daily.  “Why are you crying?”

Lorraine paused
and Rachel wondered if she was going to answer her.  Finally, she said, “He
told me that he…he loves me.”  Her eyebrows came together and she re-stated,
“He’s in love with me.”

“Why did that make
you cry?”

“Because I never
thought it could be so.  I’ve loved him almost since I met him and I knew I was
too young for him.  He cared about me, I knew, but thought that I would always
be like a sister to him.”

Rachel had to
laugh.  “Well then, you weren’t seeing the same things I was seeing.”

Lorraine blushed
delicately.  “We’ve been close, best friends really.  I didn’t feel that there
was more than that for him.”  She held up the letter.  “Now, he tells me this
in a letter from thousands of miles away and I may never get to see him again. 
It made me so angry.”

Rachel laughed
helplessly and pulled the girl into her arms.  “Oh sweetheart, you remind me so
much of myself.  Take my advice, love him with all of your heart and never let
anyone or anything get in your way.”

“Are you speaking
from experience?” Lorraine asked, the smile back on her face.

“Yes, I am.  You
know, I always knew that you two would end up together.  In the beginning, it
bothered me so much.”

“Why?”

“Because the two
of you reminded me of myself and Peter.  We went through so many unhappy years,
both of us in unhappy marriages and wanting something we couldn’t have.  I
didn’t want my son to feel that same pain.”

“I would never
hurt him,” Lorraine said with quiet passion.

“I know you
wouldn’t.”  She hugged the girl to her again.  “Anything else in the letter?”

“Oh, how could I have
forgotten?” she exclaimed.  “He saw Matthew.”

“He did?” Rachel
cried excitedly.  “How is he?  Is he all right?”

“He was fine,”
Lorraine assured her.  “They got to spend some time together and he said that
Matthew is looked better than him.”

“Well, David has
been there a lot longer than Matthew.  Listen, Lorraine, this war is coming to
an end.  The tide is turning.”

“Do you believe
that, truly?”

“I do.  David,
Matthew, and Alan will be home before you know it and life can return to
normal.”

“Will it be normal? 
Was Peter normal when he returned from the war?”

“He was
different,” Rachel admitted.  “More serious, I guess.  Definitely more moody.”

“David is already
serious and moody,” Lorraine said worriedly.

“And he is in love
with you,” Rachel reminded her.  “He’ll have you to help him heal.”

The war did end
and Matthew and David arrived home together.  Rachel could hardly believe the
difference in them from the last time she had seen them.  David seemed taller
and unbearably gaunt.  He looked tired and battered and in deep need of a good
meal.  Matthew had matured in the year he had been gone, taller and broader,
and looking more like his father than he ever had.  He didn’t have the lost
look of his brother but Rachel knew that he had seen his fair share of
atrocities.

At the train
station, Lorraine held back, shy and uncertain of how she should greet David. 
After hugging his parents fiercely, he looked up, searching the crowd.  His
eyes fixed on Lorraine with a hungry, wanting look.  He had not heard back from
her after his last letter so wasn’t sure of her response.  He had missed her so
badly that even if she didn’t love him, he just wanted to be near her again.

Rachel saw the
look on his face and, although she was reluctant to let go of her son, she gave
him a small push towards the eighteen year old girl.  He took a step towards
her then suddenly she was running and caught up in his arms.  Rachel felt tears
prickling at the corner of her eyes and she turned away from the intimate
scene.  All a mother ever wanted was for her children to be happy and safe. 
Despite all of her reservations, she knew that this was the person who was
going to provide that for David.

She turned her
attention to Matthew who was being attacked by his siblings.  He gave Rachel and
Peter a rueful look.  “If I could make it past these monsters, I would hug
you.”

The younger
children parted to allow Matthew’s parents access and he hugged them both at
the same time.  “You look so much like your father,” Rachel said.  “You look
just like him the day I met him.”

“I saw his grave,”
Matthew said surprisingly.  “I was in France and my sergeant let me hitch a
ride to Moustiers-Sainte-Marie.”

Rachel gazed into
Matthew’s eyes.  “Was it all right?  I mean, were you all right?”

“I’m good,” he assured
her.  “It was the closure I needed.”

“Did they bury
Martine next to him?”

“Yes.”

“I’m glad.”  She
let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.  “I am so glad to see you. 
Thank God you’re safe and you’re home.”

Matthew looked
around.  “I don’t see Uncle Bert.”

Peter nodded. 
“He’s in California waiting for Rose’s ship to arrive.”

“Any word on
Alan?”

“No.  They should
be releasing the prisoners of war, though, so we should hear something soon.”

Matthew nodded,
some of the light in his eyes dimmed.  “Can we go home now?” he asked, suddenly
weary.

They gathered the
entire family, including David and Lorraine who couldn’t seem to let go of each
other, and headed home.  The next few months were spent in quiet family time.  Bert
and Rose arrived home, as well, although without news about Alan.  When David
wasn’t with Lorraine, he spent time with his father and Rachel knew that it was
therapeutic for him to speak with someone who had experienced some of the same
horrors.  Matthew seemed to be anxious to move on with his life and asked
Rachel for permission to take all of his siblings to Boston to visit Theo’s
family.  He hadn’t seen his grandparents for years and now felt the need to
reach out to them.  Lorraine wanted to go as well and meet the grandparents she
had never seen but hesitated to leave David.

“Go,” David
ordered quietly.  “It would mean so much to your grandparents to see all of
you.”

“I wish you would
come, too.”

“I’m a little
burned out on travel,” David said, only half-teasing.  “I’ll be here when you
get home.”

She went, leaving
David the chance to spend many quiet hours sleeping and healing emotionally. 
Rachel found him one morning sitting in the barn on a bale of hay, eyes closed,
leaning against a stall post.  “Hey,” she said quietly, not wanting to disturb
him.

His eyes opened
and he smiled a little.  “Do you know how much I missed this place?”

“Probably as much
as we missed you.”  She sat next to him on the hay bale.  “Was it very
horrible?”

His smile dimmed
and he nodded.  “I could have never imagined it, Mom.  It was like living in
hell.”  He sighed deeply.  “There was a point when I had decided that if I
lived, I wasn’t coming home.”

“Ever?”

“Ever,” he said
with a nod.  “I felt ruined inside and I didn’t want to poison all of you.”

“David,” Rachel
said with pity, “we will always want you with us, no matter what.”

“I know.  Dad told
me that he had felt the same way when he was in the war.  He said he was afraid
to come home and see everyone’s disappointment when they realized he had changed.”

“He had changed. 
He was more introspective and it seemed harder to make him smile.  The day he
came home, though, was the happiest day of my life, until you and your brother
stepped off that train.”

“Matthew is going
to be fine.  He handled it so well, so much better than me.”

“I don’t think
there’s a script of how you are supposed to handle a war.  Matthew has always
been different than you.  He sees the world in a different way.”

“He’s like Theo.”

“He is,” Rachel
said carefully, “just…better.”  She felt immediately contrite.  “I’m sorry, I
shouldn’t have said that.”

“It’s O.K., Mom. 
You don’t have to always protect us.  Theo was a terrible husband.”

“Not terrible,”
Rachel corrected him.  “He just had needs that I couldn’t fulfill.”

“I’m glad you and
Dad got back together.  I thought a lot about you two while I was gone.  That’s
when I decided that I wanted the same thing you guys have.  So I sent Lorraine
that letter.”  He stole a sideways look at his mother.  “I haven’t talked to
you about it.  Are you all right with us?”

“Of course I am.”

“The night before
we met Lorraine and the boys in New York, you asked me to promise you that I
wouldn’t fall in love with her.  How did you know?”

“I don’t know. 
Maybe because I had met her mother and suspected that she would be as strong
and appealing as Martine had been.”  She laid her hand on David’s.  “The
situation just reminded me so much of mine, when I was orphaned and came here. 
I went through some pretty rough years before your father and I eventually
found happiness together and I couldn’t stand the thought of you going through
the same type of pain.”

“There’s no pain
with I’m with Lorraine,” he said quietly.  “Only peace.  She’s like a balm for
my soul.”

“The two of you
are not your father and me.  I realized that.  I couldn’t be happier for both
of you.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

They sat in
companionable silence for a few minutes until she said, “Want to ride?”

“Sure,” he
answered, standing and holding his hand back to help her stand.

“Rachel?”

They both looked
over to the doorway of the stable and Peter stood there, looking pale and
breathless.  Rachel felt fear pierce her heart.

“What’s wrong?”
she asked, stepping forward.  “The children…?”

“No, no,” he
assured her.  “They’re fine.  Bert got a telegram.”

“Shit,” David
muttered.  “Shit.”  He dropped back to the bale and buried his head in his
hands.

“Alan’s alive,”
Peter said surprisingly.  “He’s alive.”

Rachel lifted her
hands to her mouth and began laughing and crying at the same time.  David
jumped up, looking a little like his old self as a grin broke out over his
face.  “Where is he?”

“In California. 
Bert and Rose are packing right now.  He’s in the hospital, so they’re going to
go out and bring him home when he’s ready.”

“Is he hurt?”
Rachel asked.

“He was injured,”
Peter said carefully.

“Tortured, you
mean,” David said, his joy turning to bitterness quickly.  “What did they do to
him?”

“There are some serious
injuries to his neck I believe.  There weren’t many details.”

“I’m going with
them,” David announced.  “Alan is going to need someone who’s been there.”

Rachel looked at
him in surprise.  “David, are you sure?  I thought you didn’t want to travel
right now.”

“I think that’s
great idea,” Peter said.  “Bert and Rose could use the support.”

Bert didn’t even
try to dissuade David.  He only paused in his packing for a moment then nodded
briefly.  “Thanks, Dave.  I’d appreciate it.”

Rose, standing in
the doorway, was wordless, but threw herself in her cousin’s arms.  Rachel was
proud of her son and knowing the exact right thing to say and do.  They left
that evening, promising to call as soon as they arrived and saw Alan.