The Healing (37 page)

Samuel moved to stand beside Esther. “Uh—Mama Fannie, Dad, I’ve been wanting to tell you something.”

“What’s that?” Fannie asked.

“Not long ago, Esther and I began courting.”

Esther held her breath and waited to hear their response. After several agonizing moments of silence, Fannie smiled and said, “I’m glad to hear that.”

Abraham bobbed his head in agreement. “Jah, and I’d say that’s a real good thing.”

Esther released her breath in a sigh of relief. If Samuel should ever decide to marry her, maybe his folks would be pleased about that, too.

W
ell, this is the big day,” Suzanne’s mother said when Suzanne entered the kitchen. Mom poured a cup of coffee and handed it to her. “Are you
naerfich
?”

Suzanne nodded. “I am a bit nervous, but I’m sure I’ll feel better once the wedding service starts.” She glanced around. “I’m surprised none of Titus’s family are out of bed yet.”

“Oh, they’re up,” Mom said. “The men are outside helping Nelson and Chad with their chores, and the women and children went out to the barn to see the kittens that were born a week ago.”

Suzanne smiled. “Kittens are always fun to watch—especially once they begin to move around and start wanting to cuddle.” She moved toward the stove. “What do you need my help with this morning?”

Mom shook her head. “This is your special day, so I think you should just eat your breakfast and then go back to your room and get ready to become Titus’s wife.”

With a sigh, Suzanne dropped into a chair at the table. “Do you think I’m really ready for marriage, Mom?”

“Are you concerned about your cooking skills? Because if you are, I don’t think you need to worry at all. Esther taught you well, and your new husband should have no complaints. Besides, as I understand it, Titus likes to cook, too.”

“I wasn’t thinking so much about my ability to cook. I’m more worried about how well Titus and I will get along once we’re living in the same house.”

Mom poured herself some coffee and took a seat beside Suzanne. “You get along well enough now, so I don’t think it’ll be any different after you’re married.”

“But I have my own opinion on things, and I know a wife is supposed to be submissive.”

Mom gave a nod. “Being submissive doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to your opinion. When your daed was alive, we sometimes disagreed on how things should be done, but he always listened to my opinion. If we couldn’t reach an agreement, then I respected his wishes and went along with whatever he decided.” Mom patted Suzanne’s arm. “Just remember what the Bible says in 1 Peter 3:1 about marriage: ‘Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.’ I’m sure the ministers will be talking about that in the wedding service today.”

“Danki for the advice.” Suzanne smiled and clasped Mom’s hand. “I hope that by next fall, Esther and Samuel will be the ones getting married.”

Walking beside his father, Timothy headed to the Yoders’ barn, where Titus and Suzanne’s wedding service would be held, since the Yoders’ house wasn’t large enough to accommodate all the guests. He spotted the bride and groom waiting to be seated, and his thoughts went to Hannah. He could still remember how beautiful she’d looked on the day of their wedding, and how nervous and excited he’d felt sitting across from her, listening to their bishop’s message on marriage and waiting to say their vows. He and Hannah had been so happy that day, and he’d been certain that was how it would always be.

But things were different now; it seemed like all they did anymore was argue. If only he could get Hannah away from her mother, he was sure things would be better between them. If Hannah had just agreed to come here for the wedding, maybe seeing the love Suzanne and Titus felt for each other would have caused her to remember that she’d promised to love and be faithful to her husband. Not that she’d been unfaithful, but Timothy was still convinced that his wife cared more about her mother’s needs than his, and that had caused him to feel as if he didn’t hold first place in Hannah’s heart anymore. He felt cheated and hurt every time she wasn’t at home when he needed or wanted her to be.

“Are you okay?” Dad whispered in Timothy’s ear. “You look umgerrent.”

Timothy shook his head. “I’m not upset. Just thinking about Hannah right now.”

Dad gave him an understanding nod. “It’s a shame she’s not with you today.”

Maybe things will be better when I go home, Timothy thought. I’ve heard it said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Since my birthday’s next week, maybe Hannah will plan something special for me, but if not, it would just be enough knowing she truly missed me
.

As Esther sat in a straight-backed, wooden chair next to Suzanne, tears pricked the back of her eyes. Her best friend would be standing in front of the bishop soon, saying her vows to her groom. She was happy that Suzanne was marrying the man she loved but wondered if things might change between her and Suzanne now that Suzanne was about to become a married woman. She’d be moving into Titus’s house, and her responsibilities would increase. Once children came along, she’d be busier than ever. Would Suzanne continue working at the woodshop with Titus and Nelson, or would she give that up and become a full-time housewife?

I wish it was me getting married today
, Esther thought as the bishop began to preach about the importance of communication in marriage. She glanced across the room and spotted Samuel, with Leon sitting on one side of him and Samuel’s older brother Norman on the other side. Little Jared had fallen asleep and lay in a relaxed position across Samuel’s lap. Esther noticed that Samuel’s expression was nearly as sober as the groom’s. It made her wonder what he was thinking right now. Her guess was he was probably remembering his own wedding day.

As the service continued, Esther’s thoughts drifted back to the day she and Samuel had climbed up into the tree stand. She grinned, thinking to herself,
Did I actually climb that old thing?
But she knew at that point that no matter where their relationship was going, she would have climbed any height just to be with Samuel. Without any doubt—even high up in that tree stand—being next to Samuel was right where she’d wanted to be.

Whenever I’m with Samuel, I feel such joy and peace, Esther thought dreamily as she visualized Samuel lovingly stroking her face. Does he feel it, too? Will he ever ask me to be his wife, or will today stir up memories of all that he had and lost? She knew the next step would have to be up to him
.

Despite the chilly fall day, the Yoders’ barn was hot and stuffy. It was probably from so many bodies being crammed together in one room, but Samuel figured it would have been worse if the wedding had been held in the house, because it wasn’t nearly as big as the barn. Since Titus had such a large family, and most of them had come to see Titus and Suzanne get married, this was a bigger wedding than most that took place in this small Amish community.

Samuel glanced across the room at Esther, wearing a dark blue dress with a white cape and apron and looking as sweet and pretty as ever. He could no longer deny his feelings; he’d fallen in love with Esther and wanted to make her his wife. The question was, how long should he wait to propose marriage to her?

As Bishop King stood and called Suzanne and Titus to stand before him to say their vows, Jared stirred. Fearing the child might wake and start crying, Samuel began gently patting Jared’s back. It seemed to help, for the boy relaxed and continued to sleep.

The bishop looked at Titus. “Can you confess, brother, that you accept this, our sister, as your wife, and that you will not leave her until death separates you? And do you believe that this is from the Lord, and that you have come thus far by your faith and prayers?”

“Jah,” Titus answered with no hesitation.

The bishop turned to Suzanne then. “Can you confess, sister, that you accept this, our brother, as your husband, and that you will not leave him until death separates you? And do you believe that this is from the Lord and that you have come thus far by your faith and prayers?”

Suzanne answered affirmatively as well.

Bishop King looked at Titus again. “Because you have confessed that you want to take Suzanne for your wife, do you promise to be loyal to her and …”

The bishop’s words faded as Samuel’s mind took him back to the moment he and Elsie had become man and wife. He’d promised to be loyal to her—on the day of their wedding, and many other times when they’d been courting. He remembered one day in particular, when they’d gone for a ride in his open buggy. He’d pulled off to the side of the road to let several cars pass. Unable to resist the temptation, he’d leaned over and given Elsie a kiss. Following the kiss, he’d whispered, “I promise, I’ll never love anyone but you.” She’d smiled and said, “The same goes for me, Samuel.”

“So go forth in the name of the Lord. You are now husband and wife.”

Samuel’s thoughts halted and he snapped his attention to the front of the room. Suzanne and Titus seemed to radiate a blissful glow as they returned to their seats.

Samuel looked at Esther and his heart sank all the way to his toes. Guilt invaded his thoughts, where moments earlier he’d felt free to hope. He couldn’t break the promise he’d made to Elsie that day. He could not allow himself to love Esther. Their courting days must end. Maybe it would be best if he found someone else to watch the kids, because with Esther around so much it would be hard to keep his promise to Elsie.

A
s Samuel took a seat at a table in preparation for the wedding meal, his gaze came to rest on Esther, sitting at the corner table with the bride and groom and their other attendants. She looked so happy today—almost bubbly, in fact. She was no doubt sharing in her best friend’s joy over having just gotten married.

Esther’s a wonderful woman, Samuel thought. She deserves to be happy, and I hope she finds someone who will love her as much as I loved Elsie. She’s good with children and will make a fine mother, so I hope she’s blessed with lots of kinner someday
.

Samuel flinched, feeling as if his heart was being torn in two. His children loved Esther, and he was sure they’d be disappointed when they found out she would no longer be taking care of them. Of course, he had to find someone to replace her first. He sure couldn’t go off to work every day and leave the two younger ones alone while Marla and Leon were in school.

Samuel felt a nudge on his arm. “Hey, aren’t you gonna take this bowl of potato salad?” his older brother Jake asked.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t realize they were being passed yet.” Samuel scooped some of the potato salad onto his plate and passed it along to his brother Matthew, who sat on the other side of him. Truth was, he didn’t have much appetite. It was hard to think of eating when his stomach felt like it was tied up in knots.

I’ve got to stop thinking about Esther, he told himself. I need to concentrate on something else
.

He glanced across the room to where his folks sat with his four children on either side of them. Should I move back to Pennsylvania and let Mom take care of the kinner? That would make her happy, I’m sure. But if I moved, I’d miss Kentucky and the friends I’ve made here
.