The Healing (The Things We Can't Change Book 3) (46 page)

I watch him as he goes. Walking away. I don’t want to let him go. I want to know. I
have
to know if this part of our relationship can change, if we can ever be truly happy. Happy together. That thought sends an idea arcing through me like lightning, and before I realize it, I’m pushing open the car door and jumping out onto the sidewalk. I expect to feel terrified. I expect to feel fear of rejection, fear itself, nervousness at what he’ll say, broken if he says no.

But instead I’m feeling high, euphoric. There is still sand between my toes and on my calves, gritty and rough but such a welcome feeling. Not dirty; no, I know what
dirty
feels like, have lived in that feeling for the past few months, and this is worlds different from that. I’m sticky with salt, my hair is windblown and I know I look a sight but I’m feeling freer and more alive than I have in two and a half years, maybe even longer. It all gives me courage to do what I know I have to. I am healed, and I am strong enough.

“Zeke!”

He turns around just in front of the steps up to the apartment, giving me a questioning look. I take a few steps closer. The car door is hanging open, ignition dinging, “Payphone” still blaring out of the speakers.

Where have the times gone? Baby, it’s all wrong, where are the plans we made for two? If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this…

Looking into those intense green eyes, I almost chicken out. But I want my happy ever after. I want to be held by Zeke, not just for one random night, but for longer. I want to know if that’s even possible.

“One more question, to see if the answer has changed,” I finally say, forcing myself into a recklessness that feels foreign but welcome.

Zeke smiles, stealing my breath effortlessly. “Shoot,” he invites.

“Not believing in happy endings, can or can’t change?”

He looks at me pensively and rubs his bristly chin, taking a moment to think about his answer. “I’m still not sure, to be honest. What do you think?”

I walk straight up to him, going up on the first step of the building so we’re at eye level. I go with no fear or hesitation, except for the pounding in my heart.

“Can change,” I say.

And then I kiss him.