The Heart Knows What the Heart Wants (13 page)

Shane stood barefooted at the top of the stairs watching Star struggle to retrieve his guitar from the backseat. She sensed him watching her. "You know, instead of just standing there gawking at me, you could offer to be a gentleman and help a lady out," she hollered up to him.

His heart squeezed inside his chest. "Where is she?" he teased, though he was already jogging down the steps to give her a hand. He stole a kiss while her hands were full and reached for the guitar case. "Here, let me get that for you."

She handed him the guitar and walked around to the passenger side for the pie and her sketchbook. He waited for her and followed her up to his apartment. "I've been busy this afternoon. I've got something to show you." She bit her lip and smiled shyly up at him.

He opened the door and stood aside to let her in first. "Oh yeah? Does it involve the removal of clothes?"

Star pursed her lips and frowned at him. He never ceased to surprise her when his thoughts wandered straight into the gutter. In spite of his painful confessions earlier today, he was in a playful mood. She wished she could be more like him and let her fears and the pain from her past slide away once and for all. "No, it does not."
Unfortunately
.

"Damn!" He snickered.

"Behave, you." She grinned and poked him in the chest with her index finger. "I might think you're serious."

He grasped her hand and tipped his head back, laughing heartily. "Oh, but I am serious. I've never been more serious about anything in my life." His eyes locked with hers, and she squirmed beneath his heated gaze. "As soon as you stop being afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you, Shane," she said with a sigh. She pressed her palm against his chest to put some space between them.

"Then what's the problem?" His blue eyes twinkled playfully.

"Maybe I think you should be afraid of me," she told him. She said it in a tone that suggested she was joking with him, but in her heart and soul she was completely serious. Nice guys like Shane didn't deserve to get mixed up with girls like her. She went to the cupboard to find a couple of plates for the pie.

He moved behind her, pinning her between him and the counter. "I find dangerous women intriguing," he breathed, tickling the curls at her ear.

She inhaled his fresh scent. Everything about him made her want him. He intoxicated her in inexplicable ways. She turned in his arms and her eyes locked with his. "I'm not dangerous...but the company I've kept the past few years, that's a different story."

His hands found her waist and tugged her against him. He wanted her to feel the affect her presence had on his body. "I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself and fight my own battles."

Star locked her fingers around his neck and smiled up at him. "You drive a very hard bargain." She licked her lips while staring at his. Subconsciously, she willed him to kiss her.

Instead, he dropped his hands away from her and grinned. "What did you want to show me?"

A contented warmth coursed through her veins, and she remembered the sketchpad. "Oh!" she said excitedly. She pointed to the bar. "Have a seat. I'll get us some pie, and then show you what I've been working on all afternoon."

He grinned at her and asked, "Bossy much?"

"I'm older. That puts me in charge," she said. She grinned and shook her head as she cut the pie into two generous portions. She put his piece in front of him while she sat on the unoccupied barstool beside him. She opened the sketchpad and nudged it toward him. "I want you to see what I did this afternoon."

As he thumbed through the pages, his eyes widened. "You drew these?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "I got to thinking about what you asked me today -- about what I wanted to do with my life. I loved designing jewelry. I was pretty good at it, too," she said proudly.

"Good? Blue, these are amazing," he said, excitedly flipping through page after page of the beautiful designs.

"You really think so?" she asked.

He gazed at her sideways, his eyes shone with admiration. "I do."

Star pushed her sleeve up to show him the boho bracelet she'd created a few months ago. "This is one of my pieces."

He rubbed his finger along one of the silver charms, "Believe," he recited softly. "You could sell these at the gift shop downtown."

She leaned over and wrapped her arms around his neck excitedly. "Thank you," she said.

He drew her into his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Your jewelry is as beautiful as you are, Blue."

"You're just being nice," she said.

He cupped her face with his hands and smirked. "Trust me, I am not
that
nice. But I am honest."

She relaxed against him and her fingers threaded through his long hair. She wanted him. She was tired of denying the desire she'd felt for him since practically the first moment she'd laid eyes on him. "I know some women say they love
bad
boys. Trust me; it's not what it's cracked up to be. These days, I prefer nice guys." She panted between kisses.

He groaned and stood, lifting her off her feet as he did. Her legs naturally wrapped around his hips. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, drinking her in with hooded eyes.

"Shut up and kiss me," she said.

He chuckled and obliged her willingly as he carried her across the room to his bedroom. He kicked the door open and walked her over to his bed. Her feet touched the floor, and she stood in front of him.

She found the bottom of his t-shirt, pulled it up over his head, and flung it aside. He returned the favor, admiring her delicate-looking pink bra through darkened eyes. "Pink? I would have figured you for a black lace kind of woman."

Her cheeks reddened, causing him to stroke them with the pads of his thumbs. He loved how one minute she was all brazen and bold, and the next minute she was blushing. Her hand slid into the waistband of his jeans, and she yanked him against her. She fingered the material of his boxers and giggled slightly. "And I would have figured you for a commando kind of guy."

The time for idle chit-chat was over. He crushed his mouth over hers, and she parted her lips, wrapping them around his tongue and gently sucking on it. He backed her up until her knees hit the mattress, and she fell back on the bed, pulling him with her.

He brushed kisses along her jaw, down her neck, nipping and licking as he went. She moaned with pleasure, suddenly aware there were too many clothes between them. She pushed him over on his back and straddled him. Reaching behind her, she unfastened the button on his jeans.

His eyes widened when he felt her fingers wrap around his very ready, very hard, dick. "Woman, you're killing me," he said thickly.

She bit her lip and grinned. "I can stop, if you'd like."

"Hell no!" he growled, bucking his hips off the bed when she gently grazed the silken skin beneath the head of his cock with her fingernail.

She drew her tongue over her lips and removed her hand from his jeans. After he single-handedly unhooked her bra and tossed it aside, she leaned forward, pressing her sensitive breasts against his bare chest and kissed him, tasting his lips, devouring their salty-sweetness.

He rolled her beneath him and propped himself up on his elbows. His eyes were black with lust and she enjoyed the power she had over him. She'd always loved the act of seduction. The primal mating dance of foreplay between two lovers was
nearly
as pleasurable for her as the act itself.

"I think," she said, struggling to catch her breath, "we need to lose the rest of our clothes. Don't you?"

He sighed loudly and bent to kiss her on the forehead. "I don't have any protection," he admitted quietly.

"I can't..." she started. She almost told she couldn't get pregnant, but thought better of it and continued by lying, "I'm on the pill."

He grinned and stood to shrug out of his pants. Before she had the chance to remove her own, he said, "Let me do that." She gave him a seductive smile and nodded. He inched her jeans down over the curve of her hips and thighs, leaving a trail of hot kisses down her stomach as he went. He murmured, "Beautiful."

When there were no more barriers between them, he pressed his knee between her thighs, parting her for him as he planted soft butterfly nibbles and kisses on the milky skin beneath her breasts. He flicked his tongue over her hardened nipples and gently tugged one between his teeth.

She moaned and arched her back, pressing her hips against him. She lightly raked her fingernails up and down the length of his spine and rocked together with him. "Please, Shane."

He pulled his mouth free from her body and grinned mischievously at her through heavily lidded eyes. "Please, what?"

"Ugh," she groaned, shaking her head side to side. "You know what!"

"I do, but it's okay if you want to talk dirty to me."

"Is it now?" Her eyes locked with his, and she reached between them, guiding him to her opening. "Fuck me, Shane. Fuck me like you mean it." With one quick jab, he thrust inside of her, stealing her breath as he did.

Slowly, he began to ease back out. "God you feel so good."

Their rhythm began with slow, well-choreographed movements, building with an intensity of a volcano on the verge of a violent eruption. She grasped his ass and pulled him deeper, wanting to feel him as deep inside of her as she could. "Shane!" she cried out.

He went rigid and spilled inside of her in an explosive orgasm. After a few moments, when he'd caught his breath, he spoke, "Star, you are so fucking beautiful."

They made love twice more before drifting to a satisfied slumber. A few hours before dawn, Star woke to something tickling her nose. She brushed it away a few times before she was conscious enough to realize it was Shane playing with her. Her eyes popped open and narrowed on his grinning face. He was propped up on his elbow, watching her, smiling mischievously.

"Again?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes, but not right now. Let's go look at the stars," he suggested.

"
Now
?"

"No, when the sun comes up," he teased, giving her a bemused look. "Yes, now. I promise it will be worth it." He pulled the covers off her and threw them into a heap on the floor, right before his feet swung from the bed, and he stood.

"Shane! It's freezing in here. Are you crazy?" she cried out.

"Yes, Blue. I'm totally crazy for you." He snickered, tugging on his pants.

"Wow, that was original," she groaned. She slid off the mattress and groped around for her clothes, which had been tossed around the room. She shimmied into her jeans and shot him a look. "Why exactly are we going stargazing right now?"

"Because you wouldn't let me show you earlier?" he said good-naturedly.

"That was my fault, was it?" she asked.

He stood behind her and put his arms around her. He nuzzled her neck and said, "You are totally to blame. If you hadn't seduced me..."

She elbowed him in the ribs. "You are such an ass." She giggled.

He swatted her butt and said, "Speaking of ass..."

She gave an exaggerated eye roll and laughed at him. "Let me get dressed before I wind up
seducing
you again, or we'll never get any stargazing done. I'd hate to take advantage of you."

They dressed nearly as quickly as they had undressed earlier. Shane picked the quilt up off the floor and handed it to her. "Here, it's cold out there. We can wrap up in this."

He opened the window and climbed through first. Once he was outside, he took her hand and helped her out onto the ledge. He tugged her close to him and pulled the blanket around them both.

"Where's your telescope?" she asked.

"I keep it inside in the winter," he said. "Out here, away from the lights of the city, you can see so much. Especially on a clear night like this."

She snuggled against him beneath the quilt and stared up into the stars. "I don't really know many of the constellations. Just the standards, like the big dipper." She pointed it out.

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her the top of her head. "I must've seen a million shooting stars in my lifetime, and I've wished on every damn one of them," he whispered.

She drew back and looked up at him. "Did any of them come true?"

He thought for a few heartbeats before answering. "I don't know yet. I'm working on it, though." His arms held her a little bit tighter in that instant, knowing that she was his wish come true. He intended to do everything within his power to keep her safe, and make her happy.

She felt a lump wedge in her throat; she hoped they weren't moving too far, too fast. "Shane, let's just take things one day at a time. There are things you don't know about me..."

He pressed his index finger against her lips. "One day at a time. I'm good with that. It trumps a 'let's just be friends,' any day."

She brushed her lips against his chin and sighed contentedly in his arms. They say home is where the heart is. If that's the case, she'd found her home.

They sat in one another's arms until the eastern sky began to take on the pink tinge of daybreak. He stood and tugged her to her feet. "Come on, let's go back to bed. Later, I think we need to go shopping for jewelry making supplies, don't you?" he asked.

She nodded. "I think that's a great plan."

***

Star couldn't remember the last time her muscles had ached so wonderfully. Whoever came up with the connection between pleasure and pain knew what they were talking about. She woke before him and smiled when she realized he had an arm and leg draped over her possessively. She shifted onto her side to watch him sleep. He was an amazing man, and she vowed to enjoy every second of whatever time they had together. She leaned closer and pulled his earlobe gently between her teeth.

His eyes fluttered open and twinkled in the mid-morning sunlight that streamed into the room. "Pinch me," he said.

She frowned. "What? Why?"

"I think I'm dreaming." He grinned and stole a quick kiss before climbing from the bed.

"Until you realize what a nightmare I can be," she teased.

"Ain't skeered," he said.

She laughed and shook her head. "If you say so."

"I do. I'm going to go take a shower. Want to join me? Save water?" He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

She threw his pillow at him. "Go. I'll see if I can find something for us to eat."

Two showers and some breakfast later, Star and Shane got in her car and headed up to Hannibal to buy things she needed to get a good start on her jewelry making endeavor.

"I wish I had a computer, it would help me sell the jewelry I make," she commented as she walked up and down the aisles of the craft store.

Shane made a mental note to ask Neona about getting Star a laptop for Christmas.

When they left the craft store, they strolled past a small consignment shop in the strip mall, and Star grabbed a hold of Shane's hand and dragged him into the store. She used to love wearing pretty dresses, peasant blouses, and skirts, a real girly girl.

By the time they left the store, Star had an entire new wardrobe, filled with colorful, new things to wear. She felt as light and as free as a feather. It was so liberating to be able to be whomever she wanted to be, and do what she wanted to do, without fear or regret. The chains that had bound her for so long snapped open and fell away.

"Thank you, Shane," she said, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Thank me? For what? Carrying your bags?" he asked.

"No...well... that, too. But thank you for making me think. For making me believe in myself again and giving me purpose back in my life," she said.

"How did I do that? Was sex with me that mind-blowing?" he teased.

"Not that, you ass!" She giggled, nudging him playfully with her shoulder. "Although, it was pretty damn good." His mouth popped open, and she wasn't sure, but she thought it might have been the first time she'd ever seen him blush. "Thank you for suggesting the twenty-one questions game. It got me to open my eyes about a lot of things."

"Lately, it's been more like road trip confessions instead of twenty-one questions, but whatever works," he said. He shifted the packages so that he could hold her hand. "Wait 'til you get my bill for services rendered."

She nudged him with her elbow and laughed, a musical sound he was certain he'd never grow tired of hearing. "Just so you know? Paying for sex isn't really my thing."

"What? Wait, no! That's not what I meant!" he protested.

She smiled as he blushed for the second time. "I know. I'm teasing."

They walked hand in hand back to the car. She was happy and relaxed. She loved the way he made her feel -- young, happy, giddy almost. The confidence he had in her was enough to make her believe in herself.

Unfortunately, her good mood evaporated when she glanced at her cell phone and saw a missed call from a blocked number.