The Heart Knows What the Heart Wants (19 page)

Astrid trudged back inside, torn between having her feelings hurt and being downright pissed at Estelle for the nasty remarks she'd made. As soon as she was in the house, she grabbed her phone and called Derek. She figured he was at work but she'd leave him a message, and she was surprised when he answered.

"Oh. I thought you'd be working," she said.

"I called in. I wanted to be around in case Estelle came home. Have you heard from her at all?" he asked.

"She's in town. She just left here," Astrid told him. She stared down at her nightgown and picked at a loose piece of fuzz. "I don't think she wants to talk to you, Derek."

"What the fuck, Astrid? She was there, and you didn't fucking call me?" he roared. He was already reaching for his coat and keys, hell-bent on finding Estelle before she left town again.

"Well, now, what was I supposed to do? Just pick up the phone while she was in the middle of yelling nasty things at me, and invite you over for coffee?" Astrid shouted.

"Astrid, I can't let her leave without talking to her," he said. He started his truck and pulled away from the curb in front of his house. "Did she say if she was leaving right away?"

"She didn't say. I'd be surprised if she didn't stop to see her friend from the bar before she goes, though," Astrid said quietly.

"I'm going to drive around. See if I can find her," Derek said. "She couldn't have gotten very far yet."

"Maybe you should just let her go," Astrid urged, second-guessing her decision that Estelle and Derek should get back together.

"No can do, Astrid. I've said it before, if I can't have Estelle, no one will," he said determinedly.

"She's driving a different car, a little white thing. Ford, I think," she said. "Maybe that'll help you find her."

Derek had an uncanny sixth sense when it came to Estelle. He knew she wouldn't come back to town and not see her buddy, Taylor. So, that's the first place Derek looked. Crow's Landing opened at ten during the weekdays for the lunch crowd, and they served the best greasy burgers around.

There were already a few cars parked behind the building when he drove by. He narrowed his eyes and quickly scanned the lot. He'd almost driven past it when he spotted a small white Ford Focus sitting next to Taylor's beat-up Buick.

Derek went down the street, made a U-turn and parked a couple of blocks away, where he wouldn't be as conspicuous. He turned off the engine, and slouched in the seat to keep an eye on the parking lot from where he sat. He wasn't welcome in the bar after the incident with Roxy, even though no one could prove he'd had anything to do with her unfortunate mishap. He couldn't go inside the bar and confront Estelle. There were too many people around for them to talk, and too many witnesses for him to teach her a lesson if she refused to see things his way.

With his arms draped over the steering wheel, he leaned forward so he had an unobstructed view. There was only one way out of the parking lot, and he knew he wouldn't miss her when she left. He rested his chin on his arms and kept watch.

***

Star walked into the dimly-lit barroom, feeling all eyes turn and stare as she did. The early lunch crowd was light, and her eyes scanned behind the bar, searching for Taylor or her former boss, Sandy.

They saw each other at the same moment, and his face lit up. He tossed the bar rag onto the counter, and in two giant strides, had her gathered up in a larger-than-life hug. "Stelly, is it really you?" He beamed down at her.

"Yep, the one and only!" she said as he swung her off her feet. She felt her cheeks warm and told him, "Now, put me down, people are starting to stare."

Sandy appeared by her side as soon as Taylor sat her down. "Estelle, tell me you've come to ask for your old job back," he said. "We sure have missed you around this place. The guys don't seem to like looking at Taylor's ass as much as they did yours."

Star tipped her head back and laughed heartily. "I'm just here long enough to get one of your famous cheeseburgers and some fries, Sandy," she told the man.

"I'll get right on that, sweet-pea," he said. He strode toward the kitchen, leaving Star and Taylor to catch up.

Star followed Taylor to the bar and took an empty stool to wait for her food. He picked the bar rag back up and began wiping down the bar. "You want something to drink, Stelly?" he asked.

"Just a diet soda," she said.

He poured her the soda and stared down at his hands. "Roxy stole my phone and got your number, Stelly. I felt awful about that."

"I know, Taylor. It's okay." She reassured him with a soft smile. "I'm going to need your new number, though. You did get a new number, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I couldn't even really be mad at Roxy for taking it, considering how bad she got beat up that night."

It was Star's turn to avoid eye contact. She stared down at the chipped paint on her fingernails. "My ex is a dangerous man. She's lucky he didn't kill her. I guess we were both lucky in that respect, huh?"

"Roxy never admitted he was the one who beat her," Taylor sighed. "Everyone knows, though. Sandy's so mad about it he can't even see straight. If Derek knows what's good for him, he won't show his face in here again."

Star nodded. Sandy put a plate heaping with fries and a burger so big it took both of her hands to hold it. She shifted her gaze to Sandy and said, "Thanks, Sandy." Her attention moved between the two men. "I keep hoping that karma takes care of him, so no one else has to. He's definitely not worth going to prison over."

Sandy's eyebrows drew together, and he leaned closer to Star. "That's only if someone gets caught, darlin'," he said evenly. He reached over and squeezed her hand. "Sure is good to see you, Estelle. Don't be a stranger, now, you hear me?"

"Okay, Sandy," she said, giving him a weak smile. Something told her this was probably the last time she'd be sitting at the bar in Crow's Landing for a while -- if ever.

When she finished eating, she laid a twenty dollar bill on the bar and sat the empty plate on top of it so she would be able to get out the door without Taylor insisting she put the money back in her pocket.

As she got up to leave, Taylor called out, "Wait up, Stelly, I'll walk you out."

She waited for him by the back door and together they walked to her car. "Damn, girl, you got yourself a new ride?"

Star bit her lower lip and nodded. "Yeah, the Honda died on me."

Taylor hugged her tightly and rested his chin on top of her head. "It was sure good to see you, Stelly. I miss my working buddy."

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed his cheek. "Miss you, too." She opened the car door and got in. "What's your phone number?" she asked him, picking up her cell to type it in.

A few minutes later, she watched Taylor waving goodbye in her rearview mirror as she pulled out of the parking lot. She had one more stop to make, the motel to get her things, and then she would be on the interstate headed north.

Her thoughts were too preoccupied with getting home to Shane, and putting West Memphis behind her forever, to notice the pickup following her from Crow's Landing to the motel.

The day was overcast with the kind of cold that reaches inside you and wraps its icy fingers around your bones. Star couldn't shake the chill she had been carrying with her since she'd left Crow's Landing. A deep sense of dread crept over her. She wasn't sure if it was the lack of sun or something else, but whatever it was, it made her more anxious to gather her belongings and get the hell out of there.

She hurriedly parked and climbed from the car, leaving the driver's door standing wide open with the keys in the ignition chiming annoyingly. She unlocked the motel room door and stepped inside. She didn't bother to pull it closed behind her...she was only going to be a minute.

Star threw everything into her overnight bag and walked into the bathroom to make sure she had everything. She figured it would be a good idea to pee before she got back on the road since she knew she wouldn't want to stop any more than necessary.

After checking behind the shower curtain for any of her personal belongings, she swore she heard something, just a slight noise, something indiscernible, from the other room. She held her breath and stood frozen in place while she strained to listen. When she heard nothing further, she shook her head and chalked it up to being paranoid. Then, she recognized the unmistakable
snick
of the deadbolt as it clicked into place.

Panic washed over and the blood drained from her face. Her brain scrambled, and she tried to think as her heart raced out of control when the fight, or flight adrenaline pumped rapidly through her veins. Something moved, a shadow out of the corner of her eye, and her attention drifted up to the mirror over the sink.

With wide-eyed terror, she saw him. Eyes black with menace, he sneered at her in the reflection. "Estelle, I can't believe you were just going to leave without coming to see me," he said, eerily calm. Star gripped the edge of the sink with quaking hands as he stepped in behind her. "Is that any way to treat an old
friend
?"

Her shoulders slumped in defeated resignation. He had her trapped, and she had nothing to fight back with. He reached toward her and smoothed his hand gently over her hair. "So soft and delicate," he murmured into her ear, sending fingers of dread down her spine.

She squeezed her eyes shut and whispered, "Derek, please."

"Please what, Estelle?" he asked. His hand twisted around her thick mane, the way it had so many times before, and she steeled herself for the certainty of what was coming next. He chuckled. "Please fuck you one last time before I kill you?"

A soft whimper escaped her as he gave a quick, snap of his wrist, and jerked her head back by the hair. Like a Neanderthal, he dragged her from the bathroom and the searing pain from her scalp caused her knees to buckle. She stumbled forward and he let go of her hair, kicking her hard in the ribs, the breath expelled noisily from her body. "Crawl on your hands and knees like the dog that you are, you ungrateful bitch," he growled.

He reached down and grasped the hood of her sweatshirt, causing it to tighten around her throat, constricting her ability to breathe. She knew he wouldn't strangle her; he wasn't ready to finish her off just yet. Oh no, he intended to toy with her like a cat would a mouse. Her hands clawed frantically trying to loosen the chokehold he had on her. When the edges of her vision began to go dim, he released her. She gasped for air, coughing and struggling to replenish the oxygen in her starving lungs.

He yanked her to her feet, and she brought her arms up protectively in front of her, cowering behind them. Suddenly, he slammed his fist so hard into the side of her face, and she swore she could hear the bones crunching. He fisted his hands in the front of her hoodie and forced her back against the wall. He smashed his fist repeatedly against her body. He threw her across the room, and she crumbled to the floor. He then proceeded to kick her, again and again until she wished she could just die.

He dragged her toward the bed by her hair and shoved her down onto her back. "Take off your clothes, Estelle," he ordered.

She could barely move, several ribs were broken, making breathing difficult, at best. Her eyes were quickly swelling shut, and a few of her teeth had been knocked loose, causing her to gag on the taste of her own blood. She lolled her head to the side and spat onto the bedspread and floor, earning her another hard slap across the face. "No," she whimpered.

He leaned over her and undid her pants, and even though she struggled to keep her knees locked together, she was no match for him in her battered state. He forced them down around her ankles. She clenched her hands into fists and swung blindly, hoping to at least land one solid punch, earning her another crushing backhand across the mouth.

He unzipped his jeans, and spit into his hands for lubrication. He roughly turned her onto her stomach and gripped her by the hips, his fingers digging into her tender flesh. He grunted loudly as he shoved his cock repeatedly into her, over and over until he surged forward one final time and shuddered with release.

He pulled out, zipped up his pants, and went into the bathroom. He washed his hands and combed his fingers through his hair, leering triumphantly at his reflection in the mirror.

On his way out, he kicked the bed where she lay, drifting in and out of consciousness. "That, my dear, is what you call a farewell fuck."

He laughed at his own sadistic sense of humor as he strode out of the room. He closed the motel room door softly behind him before slipping away unobserved.

Shane walked over to the window and peered out into the early evening darkness. The streetlights blinked on, and his eyes shifted to the time on the microwave clock. He paced restlessly around the kitchen. "Come on, Chili Dog, let's go for a walk," he offered. Chili Dog ran for the front door and bounced up and down impatiently, waiting for Shane to attach the leash so they could go outside.

Around the block they went, Chili Dog unaware of the worries stampeding through Shane's troubled mind, and the fresh wasn't helping him shake the niggling feeling that something was terribly wrong. He trudged up the front porch steps and went back to sit with Neona at the kitchen table.

"Shane, why don't you bake a pie or something? Maybe it'll keep you occupied until Star gets home," Neona recommended.

He heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head. "I'm too antsy to do much of anything at the moment," he admitted. He glanced at the time again and said, "She should've been here by now."

Neona rubbed her arms, trying to ease the chill she felt, and nodded slowly. She didn't want to admit out loud what the warning bells inside of her were saying. She had a feeling that something bad had happened. But she was afraid if she gave voice to her foreboding, it would somehow make it real. So, she merely pulled her lips into a thin smile and said, "I'm sure everything will be fine."

Shane peered over at her curiously. The way she avoided looking at him made him suspect that she was keeping something to herself, but he didn't call her on it. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. He was all too aware of how accurate his Aunt Neona's
feelings
were, and how her intuition was right on the money more often than not. He got up and took a soda from the refrigerator. "What time is Michael coming over?"

"He gets off at eight tonight," Neona said. She stood and hobbled over to the kitchen sink to pour a glass of water. "He'll be here shortly after that, I expect."

"I'm going to take a shower. I have to do something before I drive myself crazy," he mumbled.

Once upstairs, he tried Star's number again before he undressed and stepped under the hot spray. He finished his shower and quickly dressed. He stopped rubbing his hair with the towel when he thought he heard Michael's voice downstairs.

When he ran down the steps and into the kitchen, Neona held up her hand and shook her head at him, indicating to stop. Michael was on the phone with someone, and although Shane was only able to hear one side of the conversation, the parts he was able to hear caused his skin to crawl with fear.

Michael wore a grave expression when he ended the call. He turned to Shane and said, "Son, you better sit down."

"What? I don't want to sit down! Just tell me what the hell is going on!" Shane argued.

Michael kneaded the tense muscles on his shoulders. He locked eyes with Shane and said, "Star was found in a motel room this afternoon, badly beaten. She was admitted to West Memphis Regional Hospital."

Shane braced himself against the counter to keep from sinking to the tile floor. He felt his heart in his throat. "How bad?" he asked.

"Her injuries are pretty severe, though they're not believed to be life-threatening," Michael said.

"And the fucker who did this, they caught him, right?" Shane asked.

"There weren't any witnesses, and the police are waiting for Star to regain consciousness so they can question her," said Michael.

"
Question her
? What do you mean, 'question her'? You know as well as I do who did this to her!" Shane said.

"That very well may be, Shane, but they can't just arrest Derek based on his prior track record and intent alone," Michael pointed out. He poured a cup of coffee and sat down. "She has an officer stationed outside her door, and just as soon as she wakes up, they'll question her and bring the sonofabitch in."

"What if he takes off or something?" Shane argued.

"He's not going to take off and even if he does, he won't get far," Michael said.

Shane pulled his hair back into a ponytail and secured it with a rubber band from the kitchen junk drawer. "Aunt Neona..."

"Yes, you can use the Jeep," she answered before he could even ask.

"Son, why don't you wait until morning and then drive down? Get a good night's sleep first," Michael suggested.

Shane whirled around and gaped at Michael. "Are you crazy? Do you think there's any way in hell I'll be able to sleep tonight knowing Star isn't with me because some sick fuck beat the shit out of her? Yeah, not happening."

Michael worried that as upset as Shane was, he might try to confront Derek. He pursed his lips and his eyes darted between Neona and Shane. Neona peered back through narrowed eyes, and Shane had his arms folded in front of his chest defiantly. It was clear Michael was outnumbered.

"Never mind. Obviously, your mind's made up," Michael conceded. He scrawled a brief note on the back of his business card and handed it to Shane. "She's in the ICU. They might not allow you in to see her since you're not immediate family. How you get past the nurse's station is up to you, but this will help you get by the guard outside her door."

"The Jeep is full of gas, but you'll more than likely have to fill it again before you get to West Memphis," Neona told him. She pointed to her purse sitting on the counter and told him, "Take my debit card."

"I know I don't need to remind you to drive safe. Take your time and get there in one piece," Michael cautioned.

"Michael's right, the last thing we need is for you both to be laid up in the hospital," Neona said. She opened her arms for a hug and kissed him on the cheek. "Remember, Shane, let the police take care of Derek. You just take care of Star and worry about getting her back here, where she belongs."

"Stop worrying, you two. I'll try not to break any laws," Shane said.

Michael quirked an eyebrow at him. "Try?"

Shane rolled his eyes. "Fine. I won't break any traffic laws, and I won't get myself arrested for murder."

By the time Shane headed to West Memphis, it was close to nine o'clock. He stopped somewhere south of St. Louis to fill the Jeep and stretch his legs. His bum knee had a tendency to lock up on him whenever he sat for too long. He used the restroom and got the biggest bottle of Mountain Dew he could buy to help keep him alert. Not that he thought falling asleep at the wheel would be a problem. His nerves were on sensory overload, and the dark thoughts filtering through his brain about what he'd like to do to Derek were not for the faint of heart.

In the wee hours Tuesday morning, Shane parked in the hospital parking garage and took the elevator down to the main level.

Shane wasn't about to let the fact that he wasn't immediate family keep him from seeing Star. He strode past the nurse's station with more confidence than he felt and approached the policeman stationed outside of her room.

Shane extended his hand to the cop and said, "I'm Shane Harper. I'm here to see my wife."
I could get used to saying that
, he decided.

The young officer eyed him skeptically. "I'll have to clear it with my superiors before I let you go in," he said.

"My uncle is the sheriff of Pike County, Missouri," Shane told another white lie. He pulled out the business card Michael had given him and handed it to the cop. "He said to give this to you."

Officer Carlisle read the business card, nodded at Shane, and stood aside to allow him entry into Star's room.

Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw when he opened the door. She was completely unrecognizable. Her face was swollen and purple with tubes and lines everywhere. Machines beeped and hummed, monitoring her vitals.

His Star. The sight of her bruised and battered body made him nearly retch. He swallowed hard, and felt the painful burn of tears stinging his eyes. He slid the chair closer to the hospital bed and sat down beside her. Gently, he took her hand in his, relief from reconnecting with her coursed through him.

He rested his forehead on the blanket next to their entwined fingers and softly cried. "He'll pay for what he's done to you, Blue. I swear to you, he won't get away with this," Shane whispered.