The Heart of Memory (2 page)

S
AVANNAH TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE
audience’s laughter to take a sip from the water bottle that sat beside her Bible on the small podium. She could feel her immune system breaking down, in spite of the adrenaline. Three doses of various supplements over the course of the day had done nothing but push off the inevitable, and now, as she faced the last few minutes of her final talk, she knew she would just barely finish in time to keep a smile on her face as she spoke.

“So tomorrow, when you get ready to start your day, look in the mirror and see the whole you. Not just a single woman. Not just a wife. Not just a mom. Not just a … whatever it is you use to label yourself. See the woman God put here for this time in history. See the change agent whose community is waiting for her to step up and reach out. See the image of God that the Lord wants to use to shine his light and love into this dark, tumultuous world. You are more. And together, we are more. More than the lies, more than the pain, more than the fear and the busyness and the complacency that Satan uses to oppress those who don’t know the Father. Don’t listen to the voices that tell you you are less. Grab the day by the neck and don’t let it go until you’ve wrung out of it every last opportunity to change this world for the better, in the name of Jesus.”

The worship band began to play behind her, and she picked up her Bible and water from the table as the singers broke into the first song of the final worship set. Savannah walked down to her seat and released a deep breath as Marisa held out another handful of vitamin C capsules. “You made it.”

“Just barely.” She swallowed the pills with the last of her water. The music lulled her; she closed her eyes and let her body relax. Her head began to hurt as her adrenaline drained away, and she could feel her muscles and joints stating to ache.

The final worship set lasted for fifteen minutes. When the lights came up and the applause began, Savannah forced her heavy eyelids open and stood with the other presenters. They walked down the aisle and back to their dressing room, where all but Savannah began to chat about the evening’s wrap-up dinner. Savannah sank onto the sofa and closed her eyes again. “Marisa, what time is our flight tomorrow?”

“Not until ten-thirty. But I’m going to try changing it to tonight. I’m worried about you being too sick tomorrow to fly.”

“Wise woman.” She pried her eyes open and hoisted herself from the couch to pack her things. Marisa called the airline, and Savannah eavesdropped until it was clear she had secured a new flight.

Marisa hung up a few minutes later. “We’re booked for an 8:35.”

Savannah glanced at the clock. “We’d better hustle then.”

“Right—you ready to go?”

Savannah looked around the room for stray items. “I think so.”

She hugged each of the other presenters she’d traveled with for most of the last three months, sad to miss out on the celebration dinner, and then left with Marisa for the hotel to pack.

Savannah felt like she was moving in slow motion as she folded pajamas and reclaimed her personal items from the nightstand. “I just know I’m going to forget something.”

“That’s why I’m here, silly.” Marisa chuckled. “I know we’re good friends and all, but this is my job, remember? So don’t worry; I’ve got your back.”

Savannah flashed her a weary smile. “Thanks, girl.” Savannah zipped her bag closed and lay back on the bed. “When do we leave for the airport?”

“About half an hour.”

“I can’t wait to be on the plane so I can sleep.”

“Unfortunately we’re not flying direct to Colorado Springs. We’ll go into Denver, and then drive down from there. Connecting to the Springs would have taken about the same amount of time, but at least this way you don’t have to race through the airport to make a connecting flight.”

“Good thinking. I’m sorry you’ll have to do all that driving. And at night too.” She groaned. “I hate being sick.”

“Knowing you, you’ll be back on your feet in a few days. Me, I get sick and I’m wiped out for a week, minimum. Oh — do you want to call Shaun or do you want me to?”

Savannah rolled over and sat up, rubbing a hand across her face. “I will.” She pulled her cell from her purse and dialed, then flopped back onto the bed. She gave him the update when he answered, and he didn’t like the thought of Marisa having to drive that far at night.

“Give me your flight info and I’ll pick you up.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course. Might as well save the expense, since I’m sure the budget was blown with the rescheduled flight.”

“I’m sorry—”

“No, don’t be. She was right, you need to come home tonight in case you’re too sick tomorrow. That’s life. Besides, it just means I get to see you that much sooner.”

Savannah smiled. “Thank you, Shaun. I’ll tell her.”

“Take care. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“Okay, babe. Bye.”

Savannah hung up and tossed her phone back into her purse. “Shaun will pick us up in Denver. Let’s go now, before I fall asleep.”

It was another two hours before she was settled into her seat on the plane, but she was asleep before takeoff. Marisa woke her just before they landed in Denver, and by then Savannah felt far worse. A fever had kicked in. Her teeth chattered and her skin prickled beneath her clothes. She groaned as she climbed into the car.

Shaun laid a quilt over her, the one she kept on the back of their couch at home. “Brilliant,” she said to him as he kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

The next thing she knew, they were pulling into the parking lot at Marisa’s apartment complex. “Are your expense receipts easily accessible?” she heard Shaun ask Marisa.

“Right here in my purse. Why?”

“If you want, I’ll take those in tomorrow and file your expense report for you. You’re not going to want to come in this week just to do paperwork.”

“Thanks, Shaun. I appreciate that.”

“Thanks again, Marisa,” Savannah mumbled, eyes still shut against the pain in her head.

“Of course. I’ll give you a call in a couple days, see how you’re doing. Let me know if I can do anything.”

Shaun walked Marisa to her apartment, then drove them home. “Have you eaten? Do you want me to make you some soup, or tea?”

“No, love. I just want to go to bed.”

“You’ve got it.”

He followed her into the house, carrying her bag and purse, and she made a beeline for the bedroom. Not bothering to change from her traveling clothes, she pulled the covers up to her chin and prayed she’d feel better in the morning.

CHAPTER 2

S
HAUN WAS READY TO LEAVE FOR WORK BY THE TIME SAVAN
nah finally awoke on her second day at home. “How are you — oh.” Looking closely gave him his answer. “Still that bad, huh?” She nodded silently as she shuffled into the kitchen. “Can I get you something to eat before I leave?”

She gingerly eased herself onto a barstool. “Some tea?” Her voice was raspy and weak, no different from when she’d awoken yesterday. After spending the day on the couch, mostly sleeping, he’d have thought she’d be doing at least a little better.

He filled the kettle. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Mostly. Up for water once, but that was it.”

“Are you going to be okay today? Do you want me to stay home? Jessie is working today, I think.”

Her hand gave a small wave. “No, go to work. I’ll probably just sleep all day anyway.”

He pulled out a can of chicken noodle soup and set it on the stove beside a pot. “In case you get hungry later.”

“Thanks.”

He made the tea, then kissed her on the forehead. “I’m sorry you’re miserable.”

“Thanks. Me too. Hopefully it won’t last long.”

“You’ll kick it quick, I’m sure.” He pocketed his wallet and grabbed his keys and cell. “Call me if you need me to come home, okay? I can work from here if I need to.”

“Thanks. Say hi to everyone.”

Five minutes out, the gas light lit on the dash. He groaned, having forgotten about Saturday night’s jaunt up to Denver that ruined his fuel budget, and backtracked to the gas station a block from home. The lost time was worth the money he’d save filling up there versus the station closer to the ministry office.

Shaun opened his wallet and considered his array of credit cards. He chose one toward the back, figuring it was time to add it into the rotation, just to be safe. He tried not to think too much about the price of the gas as he swiped his card and punched in his zip code.
Highway robbery.
Every tick of the price on the pump display made him want to wince. Picking up Savannah and Marisa had been cheaper than a rental, but it still meant taking money from somewhere else. He’d have to forgo lunch the rest of the month to make up for it.

A few minutes later he was parking in his usual spot in front of Abide & Abound’s office. A banner announcing their tenth anniversary hung in the front window, and a little rush of pride made him smile as he pulled his briefcase from the front seat. This humble endeavor of theirs had grown so much in the last decade. Once upon a time it had been him and Savannah cooped up in his home den, but now they boasted six employees on the payroll and a proper, though nondescript, industrial park office just outside of downtown Colorado Springs. He had an office here, the only one amidst the maze of cubicles, and Savannah would pop in once a week to “greet the troops” before heading out to a coffee shop to work and have meetings.

It’s a heck of an accomplishment,
he thought as he locked the car.
Though not without its trials.
He tried not to think about the trials currently dogging him as he entered through the smoky glass door.

“Good morning, Shaun,” said Brenda, their receptionist and customer service representative. “Savannah get home alright last night? How did the last stop on the tour go?”

“It went well—but Savannah’s got the flu. She and Marisa actually came back Saturday night because she could feel herself getting worse and she didn’t want to get stuck unable to fly.”

Brenda’s face fell. “Oh no! Can I pick anything up for her, or you? I can stop at Vitamin Cottage over lunch, get her some of that immune booster tea she likes.”

Shaun smiled, but shook his head. “She’s fine. Marisa bought a bunch of stuff while they were in Omaha, so she’s set. I appreciate the offer, though. Thank you.”

“Not a problem. I’ll add her to the prayer chain.”

“Good idea. Thanks.”

Brenda was an example of why he loved this ministry so much. They all cared about each other. It was like working with family.

Though that wasn’t always a good thing.

He greeted their resource director and their accountant, the only other two staff members currently in. Savannah insisted on letting people set their own hours, within reason. “No point in making people drag themselves here at nine if they’re completely unproductive until eleven,” she’d say, and as long as things got done properly and on time, Shaun supported that. Monday mornings held one small exception: the ten a.m. staff meeting. It was Shaun’s favorite part of the week.

He turned on his computer and opened the blinds a fraction, letting in slivers of the blinding August sunshine. He unloaded his briefcase, thanked Brenda when she appeared with a cup of coffee, and then sat down to orchestrate his day.

A quick look at the calendar reminded him of the two speaking engagements Savannah had early next week. It was a good thing she tended to get over illnesses quickly. It would kill him to cancel those gigs, knowing how well they paid. Thank goodness she never took anything the week after a tour.

He pulled out the receipts Marisa had given him and began to separate Marisa’s from Savannah’s. He was grateful for Marisa’s thrifty nature and Savannah’s Scottish roots; there were never receipts for steak dinners or fancy designer water. He itemized Marisa’s reimbursement report and set it aside for her to sign later. Before itemizing Savannah’s report, he pulled an envelope from his desk drawer and rummaged through it a moment, then pulled out a receipt for a haircut dated the week before Savannah had left for the tour. He added in the receipt from this morning’s gas purchase, crumpled them all, then smoothed and crumpled them again before examining them for legibility. Three of the totals were now much more difficult to decipher. He itemized everything on the report, changing a couple 3's to 9's and one 5 to an 8 before photocopying all the receipts and attaching the copies to the reports.

His conscience twinged, but he tried to ignore it.

He spent the remaining forty-five minutes preparing his notes for the staff meeting, and at just a few minutes before ten, left his office for the conference room.

Brenda had already placed a platter of donuts in the center of the table and flanked it with a pitcher of water and a pot of coffee. Shaun opened the window to let in some air and took his place at the head of the table. The other staff trickled in, each of them asking about Savannah as they entered.

“The tour went very well. I’ll give a quick rundown of the numbers and what we need to do for follow-up in a minute,” he said when the meeting officially started. “And thanks for all your concern for Savannah. She’s still feeling pretty sick, but you guys know how she is; she’ll bounce back quickly. Darlene,” he said, turning to their resource director and resident prayer warrior, “would you please open us in prayer, and ask for healing for Savannah?”

“Certainly, Shaun.” The staff joined hands and Darlene brought them all to tears with her praises and supplication like she always did. Shaun allowed himself a peek at the others as she spoke, reveling in the community he and Savannah — and God, of course — had built over the last decade. Knowing the dividends coming in from the conference boosted his spirits even more.

When “Amen” was finally uttered, Shaun launched into the agenda as napkins were dabbed to cheeks and the donut platter passed around. “Final numbers from the conference aren’t in to me yet, but from Savannah’s book table we netted nearly 25% more than we did on the last tour, so that’s a blessing. She prayed personally with about thirty-four women to receive the Lord, and with nearly eighty to rededicate themselves, and Marisa prayed with a bunch too.”

“Amen” rang out from multiple people at once.

“So, Brenda, you’ve got your work cut out for you there. Let Marisa know if you’ll need some help following up with those women; she’s on vacation this week but I’m sure she wouldn’t mind helping with those when she comes back.

“Alright then, moving right along …” Shaun exhausted the agenda in less than the usual hour and led them in prayer again before everyone left for their cubicles. He caught the new accountant, Nick, before he could leave. “Here is Savannah’s reimbursement report. I meant to do this at home this weekend so Savannah could sign off on it, but I forgot to bring home the form. You can call her if you want to go over it, or I can take it tonight and have her sign it.”

“Oh, not a problem,” Nick said as he scanned the report. Shaun had counted on him saying that. “I’d hate to bother her when she’s feeling so lousy. I’ll just ask you if I have any questions.”

“Great, Nick. Thanks.” Shaun went back to his office, high on the feeling of a meeting well run and the knowledge that checks from the conference book tables would soon be in the mail. His to-do list for the day was long, but he was energized now to tackle it. He woke his computer monitor from sleep mode and pulled up his email.
Time to pare down that inbox.

Six new messages sat at the top, but it was the third that caught his eye and made his gorge rise.
No, please. Not again.
He clicked away from the list of new messages, bringing up instead a page of the oldest of the 264 emails he needed to sort through.

She would have to wait. He couldn’t handle that right now.

S
AVANNAH AWOKE FROM HER NAP
on the couch feeling worse than when she’d first laid down. She whimpered as she sat up, every joint and muscle screaming, and dragged the quilt up over her shoulders. A soap opera now played on the TV, and she changed it over to the country music video station just to have something on in the background. She really needed something to eat. And some water. Definitely some more water.

She slowly rose from the couch, quilt still clutched around her, and hobbled to the kitchen to refill the giant water bottle she always carried. The can of soup Shaun had left beckoned to her from the counter as she waited for the bottle to fill. What she really craved was her mother’s homemade chicken noodle soup, the recipe for which she had once memorized but now could scarcely remember. At one time she’d made that soup nearly once a month, freezing some for when illness might strike, and bringing the rest to the person whose illness had inspired her to cook it in the first place. The sorry can of soup wouldn’t cut it, but she was in no shape to attempt reawakening her culinary skills at the moment. She sighed and pulled out the can opener from the utensil drawer.

Once the soup was ready she sat back down on the couch with a steaming mug of it. The heat barely seemed to permeate the chill in her fingertips. She stared at the television, letting video after video play without comprehending anything. Her mind was elsewhere — assessing every body system, cataloging every pain and complaint, and thanking God that she didn’t have to go through this often.

The dregs of her soup were stone cold when the doorbell jolted her from her thoughts. She ignored it until the sound of familiar laughter caught her ears. Her girlfriends. She’d forgotten about their lunch.

She set down the mug and shuffled as quickly as she could to the front door. The faces of her friends fell in unison when she opened the door. “Oh, hon,” said Mary. “You look like death warmed over.”

“I feel worse than that, if you can believe it.” She stood aside as Mary, Andi, Colleen, and Bethany filed in, each carrying a potluck item. “I forgot, girls. Just completely forgot. All I have left is soup.”

“Do you even want company?” asked Colleen. “We can leave if you just want to sleep.”

“No, come on in — if you don’t mind exposing yourself to my germs.”

Andi grinned. “Hey, you’re the germaphobe of the group. You know we don’t care.”

“Oh good. My mind just—” She waved a hand. “Never mind. I could use the company, that’s all. I hate being here alone.”

“You hate being anywhere alone.” Bethany led the procession to the kitchen, then nodded to the pot on the stove. “Is that your homemade chicken noodle soup in there?”

“Don’t I wish. It’s just a can.”

“Oh, bummer. I remember you made that for me when I had that terrible flu the year Riley was born. Do you remember that? Man, that was good soup.”

“I think between the four of us you’ve probably made that soup twenty times,” said Mary.

“I think it’s the only thing that made me sad when you started working at A&A full-time,” Colleen admitted. “No more homemade chicken noodle.”

“Yeah, we really sacrificed for you, Van. I hope you can appreciate what we gave up when you started working.” The women all laughed, and Savannah rolled her eyes and managed a grin. Their company was healing. She was glad they’d been willing to stay.

“Are you hungry, or was the Campbell’s enough for you?” Bethany asked as she uncovered the dish she’d brought in. “I have twice-baked potatoes.”

Savannah shuddered. “The soup was enough. Thanks, though. You all dish up what you want and come into the family room. Help yourself to drinks, too.”

She moved to the cupboard for plates, but Mary beat her there. “Go sit down. We know where everything is.”