The Heart-Shaped Emblor (The Ewlishash Series) (22 page)

“Oh.” Hope plopped herself back onto her bed with a cynical sigh. “Does he always get this mad?”

I shrugged. “Don’t ask me. You’re the one he’s been living with. He’s like a ticking time bomb sometimes, but he says he’s working on it.”

There was a loud bang on the door. Hope leaped from the bed.

“If your little display is over now, may I please have a word, Aislinn?” I could hear Alexander’s uneven breathing through the door.

“Only if you calm down first. I don’t need to think of you as the enemy right now, and that’s how you’re sounding. I’ve done nothing wrong. Cool your jets, and I’ll talk to you.” My voice carried more power than ever.

I could hear him mumbling profanity under his breath, but I didn’t budge. I waited, with a smile on my face, for him to calm down.

After five minutes of pacing up and down the hallway, Alexander finally came back to the door. “Aislinn?” he asked softly. “I’m calmer. Can we discuss what happened now?” He paused for a moment and added, “Please?”

“Of course,” I spoke kindly as I opened the door.

Alexander had a horrified look on his face and a mist in his eyes. He rushed at me and scooped me up into his arms, embracing me in a very firm hug.

“Oh,” I breathed. “I expected you to be mad. If you were upset, why didn’t you just say so? I would have let you in.”

“I was mad, Aislinn. Furious, in fact. When you wouldn’t speak with me, you forced me to calm down. I didn’t even know why I felt so angry. As I paced the hallway, I began to understand the problem.” He took my chin and pulled my face up to look into his eyes.

The moment our eyes met, a wave of something ethereal passed over my body. My breath caught as I stared at him, too lost in the trance of his gaze to pull away. Something grabbed at my heart.

“The problem, my dear, sweet, Aislinn, is that I’m terrified of losing you.” He pulled me closer to whisper in my ear. “I know you haven’t felt it yet, our deep and lasting love, but I am no stranger to you. I think you know that. For whatever reason, when you chose to block your past-life memories, you included me in that. You will get the memories back, but not until your soul intends to. So, for now, I’m essentially a stranger to you.”

Alexander held my chin, and our heads lingered an inch apart as he spoke under his breath. “Please understand, you aren’t a stranger to me. I remember our love, and I know what it’s like to lose a loved one before we really get a chance together. I have reason to fear for your life, Aislinn. So please remember that before you go changing without me. Losing you is not worth the risk.”

I turned to look at Hope, feeling nervous and guilty now about the idea of sneaking off to rescue Jaden. “Hope felt left out, Alexander. I showed her what it looked like when I change, but I only went part of the way. I didn’t want her passing out or anything.” I tried to make light of the situation, but it wasn’t working.

“I see,” he murmured. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I would have come here and made sure you were okay.”

“No.” I shook my head. “You wouldn’t have. I know exactly what you would have done. You would’ve tried to convince me not to change for her. I’m not stupid. You and Kiera already excluded her. You never even asked me.”

Alexander swallowed loudly, betraying his frustration. He took a deep breath and surrendered. “Okay,” he admitted. “You’re right. We didn’t ask you. But you do have a say. No more sneaking.” Alexander’s eyes were misty again, showing me just how afraid he was for me. “Deal?”

“I’ll agree, but on one condition.” I stood up straight and broadened my shoulders.

“What?”

“You said I have a say, so no more sneaking, but if that’s true, then I want you to agree to help me save Jaden. Not in two weeks, not three days from now, but soon. Very soon.” I relaxed my shoulders, but I didn’t give in. “If you agree, then I won’t sneak away and help her alone.”

I could feel his fists clench behind my back, but I didn’t budge. “You do realize that I’m not comfortable with this ultimatum.”

“Of course I realize that,” I acknowledged. “If you were comfortable, there would be no need for me to ask this of you. But I will go alone if you don’t agree to help me. No tricks either.” I gave him a warning glare, raising my right eyebrow.

“If I must.” Alexander hugged me, though he didn’t seem pleased. His muscles flexed as his rage threatened to come forth again, but he did his best to push it back.

“Good. Then I agree not to sneak off or change without telling you. At least until I have mastered it.” I beamed a smile at him, which he couldn’t resist. He smiled back, softening his expression.

I turned to Hope. “You want to come down and talk strategy with us?”

Hope looked at Alexander. Her hands rolled over one another while she awaited his response. She looked at him, but not into his eyes.

“Yes.” Alexander spoke up. “You have seen her now, so there is no need to keep you from our discussions. Please join us.”

Hope bounced to the door, heading for the stairs. “Let’s talk strategy, then.”

I tried to follow, but Alexander raised his arm in front of me. “We’ll be right down,” he shouted to Hope, who had already reached Kiera on the stairs.

He turned to me, and his sweet breath caressed my nose. “Aislinn,” he whispered gently. “I’m not normally like this. Maybe it’s why you wiped me from your memory, but I haven’t always been this angry. I know that finding out something about Yasmine helped, because I’m able to control myself better. But I’m still angry. So I’m still working on things. Okay?”

I nodded. “Please try to hurry. I’m afraid that if I see too much of this side of you, I won’t be able to continue this relationship, whatever it is.”

“I know.” He turned his face away from me as if ashamed. “I don’t expect you to stay if I can’t get it under control. Don’t ever think that. I love you far too much for that.”

The word love caught me off guard. Could he really be in love with me already? This wasn’t the first time he’d mentioned that. Unable to respond, I put my cheek to his, and it felt wet.

“Are you crying?” I kept my voice gentle as a lump that I could not explain caught in my own throat.

Alexander wiped the dampness away. “No.” His voice cracked.

“It’s okay, you know. We all do it from time to time.”

“I know,” he admitted. “But I want to be strong for you. There’s no need for you to see this side of me.”

“But I like this side of you,” I admitted, feeling my cheeks rush with heat. “I much prefer this side to your angry side… as long as you don’t cry all the time.” I winked. “I mean, no one likes a crybaby.”

He burst into laughter. “Don’t worry. I won’t get that bad.”

“Good. Shall we go downstairs and discuss the plan?”

“In just a moment…” His words faded, and his mouth met mine. He pulled me into him and wrapped his arms tightly around me, one hand reaching up to the back of my neck to pull my face closer.

Alexander’s tongue gently touched the inner side of my lips, and I lost control. Something about his touch, his kiss, rendered me helpless. I began to kiss him back, full force. The heat from his kiss rushed through me like fire. Every part of my body wanted him… no,
needed
him.

The eternal memory of Alexander was slowly coming back. It struck like lightening when we kissed. My body remembered him, just not my mind. I grabbed at Alexander like my life depended on being with him. Pulling him into me, then me to him.

Alexander lifted me and carried me farther into Hope’s room, shutting the door behind him.

He gently pushed me against the wall and wrapped my legs around his waist, pinning my hands above our heads. I closed my eyes, sensing that we had done this before, a very long time ago. In my mind, I could see a wedding dress hanging over a bed behind us, Alexander’s hair long and waxed to his head. Could I be remembering another time?

Alexander pressed harder against me, wedging me tightly between him and the wall. The motion of his body sent another surge of heat through me. I had never wanted anyone more in my life.

His right hand left mine and made its way down to my chest. I thought he was going to venture under my soft-pink cotton tee, but he stopped before he reached my breast. He clenched my shirt in his fist, ceasing his exploration.

“Aislinn,” he whispered under his breath. “I want you so badly, but not like this. Not in Hope’s room. Not while there are people waiting downstairs, not while Jaden is being held captive, and not while you can’t remember me.” Alexander’s voice was more tender than I had ever heard it. I could feel the love he held for me, but I couldn’t return the feeling just yet.

“But—” I began to object, and he raised a finger gently to my mouth.

“Please, Aislinn,” he begged. “For us. I want this to be special. If we don’t stop now, I’m afraid I won’t be able to.” The pleading in his voice as he laid his head on my chest told me that I needed to stop. Alexander could hardly restrain himself.

“Okay,” was all I could say. I had to turn my head away from him to avoid falling back into the kissing.

Slowly, Alexander lowered me to the ground. I leaned on my knees, hunkered over to gain my bearings. “I need a moment. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Without waiting for a response, I headed for the bathroom. My behavior had me completely dumbfounded. Alexander was right. I needed to focus on Jaden first. What was wrong with me?

I looked in the mirror, and I hardly recognized myself. My cheeks were rosy, my eyes vivid, and my hair healthy and shiny. I hadn’t changed a thing about myself, yet I looked so different, so confident and radiant.

After splashing some cool water on my face, I realized how many people were downstairs, probably snickering and cracking jokes about Alexander and me. I could hear them in my head.
‘So where’s Aislinn?’ ‘Oh, you know… with Alexander… Again! Those two.’
The heat I had cooled just seconds ago returned swiftly as humiliation got the better of me.

I took a deep breath, hoping I hadn’t been too long. Would anyone suspect that we were in Hope’s room ravaging each other? I shook the worry from my mind and tried to focus. Jaden needed me, and I didn’t want to fail.

Everyone but Tellah waited for me with guilty smiles in the living room. Alexander looked embarrassed, like he had been harassed. I looked at everyone with their eager questions ready to burst forth, but I didn’t give them a chance.

“Okay then,” I began. “Anyone have any ideas on how to get Jaden back?”

RESCUE ATTEMPT

K
iera spoke first. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I think so,” I replied with as much confidence as I could, despite being terrified. What if I couldn’t hold myself in the changed state? What if the Tirates saw me?

“Thinking you are ready and knowing you are ready are two very different things,” she countered.

“True. But anyone who says they’ve mastered something so foreign in such a short amount of time is just flat-out lying. At least I’m being honest.”

“Aislinn.” Alexander met my gaze. “Are you really sure you want to try this right away? Jaden
will
be fine.”

I shot him a nasty look, and his face contorted. “I hope you’re not backing out already.”

Alexander glared at me. “Of course I’m not. I just want you to be absolutely sure you’re ready. As I said before, you’re very important. I’m not prepared to lose you because you were too hasty.”

Sighing loudly, I looked at the floor. If I was being honest, then I needed to admit that I might not be ready. But ready or not, it was time to take action.

My chest rose with a deep breath before I spoke. “I understand that all of you want to protect me, which is why I’m asking for your help in coming up with a safe plan. I can’t make any guarantees that I’m ready, but I can assure you that I need to do this now. I know that. Does anyone have any ideas on how to find these guys?”

No one spoke. There were plenty of looks shooting back and forth across the room to each other, but nothing to me. As I waited, my hands began to sweat.

Alexander finally turned to me. “We don’t find them on our own.” He rubbed his head. “Usually, the Jarwin tell us when we need to confront them. They tell us where to go and when. As of yet, the Jarwin don’t feel you should go. Their opinion has been made very clear to us, and they will not assist in finding the Tirates.”

His words punched me in the stomach. Why would I have seen that place in the dream? And why were the Jarwin so against me going? Was it really that dangerous? Or was there something they didn’t want me to know? One thing I had already put together: The Jarwin liked their secrets. They would be no help in locating Jaden.

“Why wouldn’t they want me to help her?”

“We don’t know.” Alexander crossed his arms. “It really doesn’t make any sense. You seem to be extremely important to the Jarwin. Maybe they sense a trap and don’t feel that losing you is worth the risk.”

I shrank back and hissed in frustration. “So you’re telling me that this whole process of helping others is only allowed if it is deemed safe by the Jarwin? There are even more limitations to how we can help?” Disgust became evident in my voice, despite my attempts to suppress it.

“The rules are there for a reason, Aislinn.” Kiera cut me off before I could fire any more rounds at the Jarwin.

“Reason maybe, but the right reason? That I’m not so sure of,” I countered. “There are so many stipulations on helping.”

“Watch what you say, Aislinn,” Alexander warned. “You’re beginning to sound like a Tirate. They don’t believe in rules either.”

“What?” I snapped. “So now I sound like a Tirate because I don’t think it’s right for me to sit idly by while Jaden is held against her will?” I stood. “I apologize to those of you who are trying to be supportive, but I can’t sit here and be told I’m like a Tirate because I think it’s more important to help an innocent person than to keep myself locked up and safe. I thought we were all gathered to discuss strategy, not to attempt to talk me out of doing this.” I headed for the door. “I need a few minutes to cool down. I’ll return soon.”

“Aislinn,” Alexander pleaded as I reached the door. “I didn’t call you a Tirate…”

I rushed outside, where the stars shone brightly in the cloudless ebony sky. I looked up at them and sighed. Instinctively, I asked for help, hoping the twinkling stars held my answers.

Closing my eyes, I tried to reach my energy up to the night sky. My intent was to speak to something old and wise. Someone or something that went far beyond the Jarwin, the Tirates, and even my friends who felt they had all the answers I needed. I pictured my energy spiraling its way up to those shining, lovely lights that had guided so many through the years, hoping they would speak with me as the house had.

It took several attempts, but I pushed all my determination into the connection like sticky webs that ascended until, finally, one of them caught hold.

An overwhelming sensation of love gushed over me, the warmest and purest love I’d ever felt. Not like with the plants or trees; this was different. This feeling of love seemed completely unconditional. Transcending all that had once felt real.

I no longer wanted to be on earth, but up in the celestial abode. Everything felt so pure, so kind and forgiving. All the wisdom of the universe entered me, but there was too much for my small mind to comprehend. There were so many voices, and they all seemed to speak in unison.

“Aislinn, please don’t be sad… You are loved more than you know. We are here for you. Always remember that. There are no answers here that you don’t already have. You know what to do. You must revisit every detail of your dream.

“Alexander and the others have your best interests at heart. Know that, and love them dearly for it. But also know that you are special. You will teach them things, and the Jarwin and Tirates as well. Trust yourself. Don’t be angry. Just take action. Lead by example. Don’t just speak your truth, live it. If you approach them with confidence, Alexander and Kiera will follow. Lead like you were destined to. Do not be afraid any longer. Your struggles will only help you grow stronger and prepare you for later.”

The last statement sounded familiar. Where had I heard that before? The words were so powerful that I could feel them radiating inside me. They were singing. The love and energy from the stars spiraled into me and filled me with the sweet song of existence.

I couldn’t help but be assured of my path. I might not know everything about this life, but I knew my intent. That was vital to what I needed to do. I beamed my thanks back up to the wise ones above and withdrew my energy, ready to face Alexander and Kiera again.

Anger no longer resonated within me, only understanding and compassion. I finally understood. Alexander and Kiera could help me when I needed to know the rules, but I could help them when the rules needed to be broken. We needed each other, and needed to respect our differences.

I took a deep breath and walked slowly back into the house, letting my eyes rise again to the shining ones above before I shuffled through the door. A fire surged through my body, like I had a piece of those beautiful stars glowing inside me. Everyone stared, mouths open in shock, as I entered the room. Hope smiled, but everyone else looked uneasy.

“What’s wrong?” I asked them innocently, my hand lingering on the doorjamb.

“You… What… How…?” Alexander stumbled over his words.

“What?”

“How did you do that?” he finally managed to get out. “You connected…”

“Connected?” My eyebrows curled in confusion. “So?”

“But,” Alexander was still having a hard time speaking. “Only the Jarwin can do that. How were you able to? And how did you keep from changing?”

Kiera fell silent. I got the impression she wasn’t pleased, but what could she do?

“Well,” I began, trying to remember exactly what I had done to connect. “I guess I just willed it. I desired guidance from a source outside the situation, so I let my energy connect with the stars. I couldn’t just float up there, so I spiraled my energy up until I reached them.” I tried to keep my explanation simple. Like it hadn’t really been that big of a deal. “But there is something more important to discuss at the moment.”

Alexander gasped. “More important than connecting? Do you understand what you’ve done?”

“Yes,” I answered swiftly. “Like I said, there are other things to be discussed.” I straightened my body. “We
are
going to help Jaden, because it’s the right thing to do. The Jarwin are wrong. I know what to do, and I need you all to trust me.” The energy I had received from my connection seemed to lend me the extra confidence I needed.

Alexander’s face expressed sheer surprise, but he also seemed to enjoy my newly found courage. Kiera’s however, held no expression at all. Hope smiled, and Samara had already left the room.

“You know what to do?” Alexander asked curiously.

“Yes.”

“Okay, then. Let us have it.” His eyes held warmth I hadn’t seen in him before. Had he
known
this would happen? Alexander seemed so controlling moments ago, and now he was going to let me make the decisions? Just like that? Whatever had changed gave me the opportunity I desired, so I took it.

I looked at Kiera and Hope. “I need you two as well.”

They both looked at me expectantly, but Kiera’s face was unyielding.

I faced everyone. “I feel the Tirates want information about me, so I’ll stay and speak with them. Alexander will stay with me to lend support or protection should I need it. But I don’t believe I will. I can give the Tirates what they need, given the opportunity. I’ll trade my information for Jaden.”

“How do you know the Tirates are close by? What if they’re out of the country or something?” Alexander asked.

“They’re close; I can feel them. In fact, I think they’re back by the state park, just hidden.” I looked to Hope before returning my gaze to Alexander and Kiera. “Earlier, Hope told me I needed to get back to my dream, and the ones I just spoke with said the same thing. I know now what I missed…” I took a deep breath. “In my dream, I was in my changed state when I found Jaden. That’s the key. I can only find her if I shift, and will myself to her.”

“Are you sure?” Alexander asked. His face was serious.

“Yes,” I answered quickly.

“Okay,” he said. “Let’s go get her.”

I looked at Kiera. “I need you to take Jaden out of there once the Tirates agree to release her. Then Hope can come and get you both.”

Kiera nodded just a tiny bit, but it was enough.

I turned my gaze to Hope. “Head toward the state park, and wait for Kiera and Jaden by the entrance.”

“Will do,” Hope replied.

“Good,” I breathed a sigh of relief. “Once you’re gone, I’ll make a deal with the Tirates to give them the information they seek, as long as they seek the information from me next time. If they won’t agree, then we’ll flee. They’ll agree, I think. They’re desperate.”

“How do you know all of this?” Alexander asked.

“I already knew the answers, but now that I’ve connected, I am able to see them. Or feel them, to be more accurate. It was only fear that was keeping the answers from me.”

“I see.” Alexander’s mood had lifted into a very pleasant one.

“I’m not sure I understand your change of mood, Alexander.”

“I’ll explain things after we get Jaden back.” He smiled, but with a sense of deviousness.

“Deal.” I returned his devious demeanor.

“All right, then. I’ll go first. See you all soon.” I closed my eyes and drifted into thought.

Internal silence washed over me, blocking out all the sounds of their breathing, the creaking in the house pipes, the bushes brushing the siding as the breeze rustled them, any external distraction. I gathered all the energy in my body again, but this time much more quickly. As soon as I willed my energy to take me to Jaden, my essence spiraled away. Heat rushed through me at an alarming rate, causing me to cry out internally at the fire that raged within. Sending just my energy somewhere was apparently easier than shifting my body there.

By the time I opened my eyes, my essence hovered in the round room. Jaden remained in the center of a large and intricate circle. I had to focus all my intent so as not to accidentally shift into solid form. It was much harder than I had anticipated.

I closed my eyes, calling out to Alexander and Kiera with all my will. In a flash, they were by my side, but far enough away to keep from mixing energy. I signaled them to follow me to the back of the room. They did as I suggested.

The three men weren’t in the room, just Jaden. Once we were out of her line of sight, I willed myself into solid form. Alexander and Kiera did the same.

“Wow,” I whispered. “That actually worked.” They didn’t share my enthusiasm.

“Now what?” Alexander whispered, his eyes darting around the room, watching for threats.

“Now, I speak with Jaden. Once she understands that I need her to go with Kiera, I will find the men and attempt to make a trade.”

Kiera was still silent. I began to suspect that something more might be troubling her. She did as I asked and followed me to Jaden, despite whatever was on her mind.

I wasn’t nearly as fast or as quiet in my solid form, but Jaden didn’t hear me coming. She must have been too emotional to comprehend much.

I crawled up onto the small circular platform and touched her shoulder. She jumped, mumbling incoherently under her breath.

“I told you… I… she… hates… we’re… not… even…” Her voice shook. Jaden didn’t recognize me.

“Shhh… Jaden,” I whispered. “It’s Aislinn. You have to be quiet. We’re going to get you out of here, but you have to trust me. Can you understand what I’m saying?”

I could see the terror in her breathless body. The veins in her neck throbbed, and tears stained her once perfectly made-up face. After a moment, I could see the comprehension in her eyes. She was snapping out of her delirium.

“Aislinn?” she whispered. “What are—” Sobs interrupted her speech. “What are you doing here?”

“Coming to get you,” I assured her. “Like I said, I need you to be as quiet as possible and trust me. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” she mumbled so softly that I had to read her lips.

“Okay, then.” I pointed to Kiera. “This is Hope’s little sister, Kiera. She’s going to help you out of here when the time comes. Hope will pick you two up in her car. It’s vitally important that you don’t ask questions about this. Just trust that I can get you out of here and that Kiera will help. They will take you home, or to Cooper’s, wherever you want to go once you leave here.”