The High Calling (27 page)

****

Parker stood staring at Brodie, and the silence in his office seemed thick. Bernie Cox’s death had brought grief to the whole squadron, for he was one of the more popular pilots. Parker had heard the story from Sailor Darley and others who had seen the plane get hit.

Brodie’s face was pale, and there was no laughter in him now. “There were no fighters at all when I pulled away, Parker.” His voice seemed harsh, and his eyes contained an anger that went beyond normal. “I’ll get them for it. You see if I don’t.”

“You’re not going to help Bernie by getting yourself killed.”

“It was my fault! Why don’t you throw me out of this outfit? It’s what I deserve.”

Actually, that was exactly what Parker had intended. He felt sick over the death of another good pilot and had looked forward to giving Brodie Lee the roughest speech he had ever given any pilot. But now as he stood there, he saw that it would be useless. Bernie was gone. They needed another flight leader, but he well knew it would not be Brodie. He contemplated grounding him for a while, which was seeming more and more like a reasonable action. “Maybe you’d better take a few days off.”

“I don’t need time off. Just get me back in action, Parker.”

He shook his head. “You can’t go at them mindlessly. You’ve got to think.”

Brodie did not answer, and for some time Parker tried to
reason with him, once more emphasizing the benefits of flying in formation, explaining that mere madness would just bring disaster.

“I’ll make them pay for it.” Brodie’s face was grim, and his usual happy-go-lucky attitude had changed.

Parker nodded wearily. “All right. That’s all.”

Brodie turned and walked out of the office stiffly, and Parker wondered if he had done the right thing in keeping the American on. He had based his decision on the need for experienced fighter pilots. Brodie was by far the best in the whole wing—perhaps even in the RAF—and he could not afford to lose him.

“I’ll just have to watch him more closely,” he muttered grimly, “before he kills somebody else—probably himself.”

Parker was exhausted, but he took the time to compose a letter to Bernie’s parents before heading for a bunk for a few minutes of much-needed rest. He knew a piece of paper was useless to a couple who had lost the joy of their lives, but it was all he could offer the family at the moment.

He fell asleep instantly and knew nothing until a soft voice said, “Wing Commander, wake up.”

He came slowly out of the sleep, feeling groggy. He sat up on the cot, rubbing his eyes.

“What is it, Lieutenant?”

“Your wife, sir. She’s waiting to see you.”

“Where is she?”

“I had her wait in your office.”

“Thank you.”

Getting to his feet, Parker tried to shake off his grogginess. He had flown numerous missions with little downtime in between. It was not the flying itself nor the danger that had worn him down but the burden of command and the loss of life. He had taken the death of Cox harder than he had ever taken a loss before.

When he stepped into the office, Veronica was standing waiting for him. “I have to talk to you, Parker. It won’t take
long.” Her voice was tight, and she sounded determined. She had made up her mind about something, but he could not imagine what.

“Have a seat, Veronica.”

“I know you’re not going to like this, but it’s something I feel I need to do.” She glanced at him nervously but saw nothing in his face to reveal his feelings. “I’m going to pick up my career again. I’ve not been happy since I left the stage. I should never have given that up.”

“You know I don’t want my wife having a career like that, Veronica. If we didn’t have children, perhaps it would be different.”

“Parker, why don’t you admit it? Things will never be different between us. Our marriage was a mistake. We each need to get on with our own lives.” She looked at her hands on her lap. “I’m not sure we ever really loved each other.”

He felt fatigue drag him down. He was too exhausted to try to decipher her comment. Was she telling him she was going to leave him? “We can stay together for the children” was the best he could do at the moment.

“We’ll try it for a while if you like. I don’t think it will work. I’m not even sure it’s worth the effort.” She shrugged, and he saw regret in her face. “The children need us, so we’ll try to do the best we can, but I need to go back to work. I hope you won’t hate me because of it.”

He could not think of an answer, and finally Veronica, without another word, turned and left the office. Parker locked his fingers together and pressed them as if he could squeeze the present out in some simple way. The breakup of the marriage, he recognized, had been coming for a long time. He leaned forward and put his forehead on his hands, sitting absolutely still.

****

“Darley, you’ll take Bernie’s place as flight leader.” Sailor Darley nodded grimly. “If you like, sir. I’ll do the
best I can.” He hesitated, then said, “I hate to mention this, but Brodie’s gone.”

“Gone? Gone where?”

“He was hit pretty hard by Bernie’s death. I think he just went into town.”

“Well, you’ll take two of the reserves in Blue Flight until we get Brodie straightened out.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’ll see if I can find him. I wouldn’t want him to get into trouble in town again.”

****

Kat took the call from Parker, giving her the news that Brodie had wandered off the post. “If he comes to see you, try to talk some sense into him.”

“What’s wrong with him? What happened?”

“His flight leader was killed. The two were very close. Sometimes it hits men like this. Call me if he shows up.”

“All right, Parker.”

Kat put the phone down and looked over at Meredith, who was sitting beside the window reading a book. “That was Parker, Meredith. There’s a problem with Brodie.”

“What kind of a problem?”

“He left the base after losing a good friend—Bernie Cox.”

“Oh, that nice man!” Meredith exclaimed. She put the book down and stood up. “How terrible!”

“I have a feeling that Brodie’s in trouble. Parker says we’re to call him if we see him.”

“What will they do to him?”

“I don’t know. I think Parker wants to avoid any direct action. I have a feeling that if we just find him and get him back, Parker will take care of it.”

“But we wouldn’t know where to look for him.”

“No, but I think one of us ought to stay here. I’ve got to go on duty at the hospital.”

“You go ahead. I’ll stay here in case he calls.”

Kat left the flat a few minutes later, and Meredith could no longer concentrate on her book. She set up the ironing board and began ironing. The radio was on with Frank Sinatra singing “I’ll Never Smile Again.” It was a plaintive melody, and she hummed along with it.

There was a rap at the door, and she put the iron down. “Brodie!” she exclaimed as she opened the door. “Come on in.”

“I don’t know why I came here,” he muttered as he shuffled in.

“Come in the kitchen and sit down. I’ll fix you something to eat.”

“Not hungry.”

Meredith got him to sit down while she brewed some tea and kept up a steady stream of idle talk. She put his tea in front of him and noticed that his hands were unsteady. “Is something wrong, Brodie?”

“Yes, there’s something wrong. There’s something wrong with me!” He put his palms on the table. “I killed the best guy in the whole RAF.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I killed Bernie, my flight leader.” He clasped his hands together and said bitterly, “I wish it had been me that was killed instead of him. It was my fault.”

“Why don’t you tell me about it?” she said gently. She prodded him on and asked questions until finally the whole story spilled out.

“But you mustn’t blame yourself. You told me before what chaos it is up there when planes are going everywhere.”

“I shouldn’t have left his back unguarded. It was my job to cover him, and I didn’t do it.”

Meredith felt a surge of compassion for this man who had always been so sure of himself. All confidence was gone now, and his face showed only bitterness. She let him talk for a long time, and when he seemed to have finished, she said,
“You know, Brodie, you’re carrying a burden of guilt, and it will destroy you.”

“I
am
guilty. I oughta bear the burden.” He suddenly jumped to his feet. “I gotta get out of here.”

“No, sit down. Let’s talk some more.”

“There’s nothin’ more to talk about, Meredith.” With his fists clenched, he stared at the wall, fixedly avoiding her gaze. “I’ll get ’em for killin’ Bernie!” He started for the door again. Meredith got up quickly and tried to stop him, but he shook his head and left, slamming the door behind him.

As he ran down the stairs, his only thought was that he wanted to kill as many Germans as possible. “They killed Bernie, the best guy that ever lived,” he snarled under his breath, “but I’ll pay ’em back!”

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Death From the Skies

August 1940 brought heavy raids from German bombers to RAF airfields, as well as radar stations, ports, and aircraft factories. Most of the leadership in Britain regarded this as a prelude to an invasion. Never had the Luftwaffe made such a determined effort to wipe out RAF airfields, and never had the defense shown more courage and determination. Not only were pilots dying, but now civilians were being killed as well.

America’s interest in the war was intensifying, and one headline in an American newspaper said, “If Great Britain loses the present battle, she will in effect have lost the war, at least as far as the mother country is concerned.”

One American behaved in a particularly shameful manner. The American ambassador in London, Joseph Kennedy, ensured that a continuous stream of pessimistic news reached the United States. “England,” he said, “will go down fighting. Unfortunately I am one who does not believe that it is going to do the slightest bit of good.” To President Roosevelt’s disgust, Kennedy ordered the embassy and all its staff to flee London, and of course, Kennedy fled with them.

Britain’s defensive capabilities during the months of July and August had been severely tested, but so had those of the Luftwaffe. The loss of planes, both bombers and fighters, had been enormous. The Luftwaffe lost more than 450 dive bombers and fighters during this period, a little over a sixth of its original operational strength. It was at this point that Hitler changed his mind about the bombing of
London itself. His refusal to bomb England’s greatest city had puzzled the German officers, particularly Göring, but now Hitler called his marshals in and gave them a specific order: “Destroy London.”

No one understood Hitler’s reason for refusing to bomb London in the early days of the battle. Some had thought he might want to make a triumphal ride past an undamaged Buckingham Palace, while others suggested he feared the outburst that the destruction of London’s ancient monuments would bring, but the die was cast, and engines of Luftwaffe bombers and fighter planes were warming up, preparing to strike London and create as much damage as possible.

****

Veronica studied her face in the mirror and then applied a darker shade of lipstick. Straightening up, she walked quickly to the large bedroom that had been made into a playroom for the twins. Her father-in-law was trying to break up an argument over possession of a stuffed toy. Coming between the children, she said, “Now, stop that fighting!” She stooped over and kissed each one of them on the cheek. “Mum has to go into town for rehearsal.”

Once she had made the decision to get back into acting, she had wasted no time and had immediately auditioned for and won a part in Charles’s latest production. It felt so good to be back on the stage, surrounded by other creative, energetic people.

“I wanna go,” Paul demanded.

“No, you can’t go this time. But tomorrow you both have to go to the doctor for a checkup, and after that, I’ll take you someplace you’ll like.”

“Where?” Heather demanded.

“How about to the zoo?”

“Yeah, the zoo!” Both twins were ecstatic. Their parents had taken them to the zoo once, and they constantly begged to return.

“All right. Now, you be good today for your grandparents.” Veronica tousled Paul’s hair and patted Heather on the back.

“When you coming back, Mum?” Paul demanded.

“It’ll be a little late, so I’ll see you both in the morning. Don’t forget. If you’re good, we’ll go to the zoo tomorrow. If not, only the doctor’s.”

“I’m good,” Heather promised.

“Me too,” Paul said. “I’m very good.”

Veronica looked at them with fondness for a moment and then turned to leave, making a mental note to spend more time with them in the future. She went to the door and found the chauffeur waiting for her.

“Should I drive you in, Mrs. Braden?”

“No. I’m taking my own car, Joseph.”

“Yes, ma’am. Be careful if you come back after dark. They’ve put up some barricades where they’re replacing the bridge.”

“Yes. I know. Thank you, Joseph.”

Veronica got into the car and started the engine. Gregory brought the children out to the step, each of them holding one of his hands. She waved at them and they waved back as she drove out of the driveway and started for the theater.

****

Parker looked up at a knock at the door and said, “Come in.” He stood up when he saw who it was. “Well, hello, Katherine. I wasn’t expecting you.”

“No, but I wanted to talk to you about Brodie. I’m worried about him.”

“Here. Come sit down. Can I send for something? Tea, perhaps, or coffee?”

“Nothing.” Kat was wearing her nurse’s uniform, and her face was somewhat flushed, for the first week of September had been unusually hot. “I haven’t seen Brodie for a while. He usually stops by the hospital or the mission every now and then.”

“Well, I wish I had better news for you, but he’s not doing well at all.”

“What’s he doing? Is he drinking?”

“No, I don’t think so. But ever since Bernie Cox was killed, he’s blamed himself. He’s focused on one thing and that’s killing Germans, and I’m afraid he’s going to lose his focus and get himself killed.”