The Highlander Without a Bride (16 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

That evening, when Bridget and Alec were together
and alone in their room, she spoke to her husband about the one important matter that was fully upon her mind and the only thing she had thought of since the elderly priest's arrival.

"Alec,
may we speak of the missive that is to be delivered to Kaye?"

Alec
stared fully at his wife as he understood completely what would be coming next for he knew his wife well and comprehended her heart.

Bridget continued,
"I do not wish for her to worry about this overly long and would like to settle her situation quite readily.  I do so worry for her state of mind, for she was quite distressed when she left here last.  Would it be too dangerous to send one of your men?"

Alec looked deeply at his wife, knowing exactly
what she was suggesting and to whom she was referring.

"Dear Bridge
t, this is our family's trouble and not his.  I would have to be mindless to not understand that you are referring to Tor.  I am not sure I can ask him, nor am I sure if he would agree.  And I cannot force this upon him or on anyone."

Brid
get looked sadly at her husband and understood the wisdom in which he spoke but was unsure as to what she would do if Tor refused.  She did understand that there was a very good chance that he might for to her knowledge no words had ever been spoken between the two and nothing was clear. It was simply her hope for their end.

Alec
stared at his wife as he did not wish to upset her or want to prolong the inevitable.  So he summoned Tor immediately to their chamber.

When Tor entered he had to only take one look at
Lady Bridget and knew exactly what she was about and of what she would ask.  It troubled him so for in recent days his heart had been hardened for he knew deep within of her assured rejection.  As the most beautiful face of Kaye flashed through his mind and the certain role that he had played in her travesty, he was unsure if he could ever willingly place himself in her proximity again.  It was quite clear that she did not want him and had unequivocally refused him by leaving the medallion untouched upon the bedside table. He was not certain if he could make that trip knowing that he would have to face her and know of how she felt.  He understood why Kaye would reject him and could not blame her and simply had to come to terms with it.  His heart truly saddened for all that she had been through and for what she must think of him.

Bridget began slowly, "Tor, I know
in my head I have not the right to ask you for anything for I recognize that you have no sworn duty to me or to my family."

She looked at him for long moments
and wanted to continue saying,
'But I know in my heart that this is the right thing to do'
...but, she did not speak those words aloud and simply continued with, "Will you do me the kindness and take this missive to my sister?  For I wish to have her heart relieved and her life finally settled as soon as possible."

Tor
pulled his eyes away from Bridget's and closed them fully as he saw the image of the beautiful one with the sapphire eyes flash before him once again.  He pictured her lovely smile, her warm heart and her gentle ways.  Just these thoughts of her plagued his senses and completely moved him as if she were here with him in the room.  How he wished things had turned out differently.  He knew deep inside that he had very little hope that even if he agreed to this journey and saw her once again, that this would change anything for him.  If he were to be honest with himself, he perceived no hope at all.

But one look into Bridget's beseeching eyes and he knew he could not deny her this request and
he knew he could not refuse her.  Since she had wed his lord and cousin, she had sacrificed so much and shown her full allegiance to the Bruce clan and had earned the respect of them all.  She was a brave and strong woman and had united his clan like no other could and he now considered her a part of
his
family, too.  So for that reason alone, he knew he would concede.

W
ith a pledge to correct a wrong and a distress upon his heart he replied, "Yes, milady, for you I will do as you bid."

T
or then turned to Alec as he inquired, "As long as it is acceptable with you and what you would wish, milord."

Alec simply nodded his head as he
gave the permission he needed to carry out his task.

With a sad sm
ile, Tor walked over to Bridget and took the small wrapped parcel within his hands as he nodded his head.

"Then I will leave upon the morrow."

With that, Bridget watched as he turned and strode from the room, a small smile upon her lips and a hope growing forever in her heart.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Six weeks after they had finally arrived safely back in England, Kaye stood within her room all alone as she stared out the window at the murky gray clouds over the early morning horizon.  The slight snowflakes lazily began to fall as she felt the heavy chill that was present in this dark winter morning.  Kaye was completely unaffected by the dazzling sight before her, it going unnoticed for her saddened and emotionless heart consumed her.  She had not slept either that night or much of the previous ones as her body rebelled for the nightmares of her past continually plagued her.  The tray that had been delivered to her room that previous evening had long since grown cold and was sitting still untouched upon the side table.

Emotionless, she walked to the small wardrobe and pulled from it her heavy
and hooded cloak, fully covering her body as she moved from the room.  Down the stairs and beyond the keep she walked and in the direction of the stables.  She soon found herself atop of her mare, the only thing in recent weeks that gave her a slight diversion from the pains that wracked her heart and appeased her loneliness.  For sitting upon the strong back of her beast she felt a certain freedom as she allowed the wind to whip through her hair and the cool breeze to bite at her cheeks as the snow gently fell around her.

Kaye
moved her horse beyond the keep's walls and out onto the snow covered grasslands.  She moved away from her home with no destination in mind just wanting for the open spaces that she craved away from the rigid encumbrances of the keep.  As she cantered ahead she found herself moving in the direction of a large and now frozen pond, a place that she used to enjoy as a child on the humid summer days.

At the
frozen water's edge she dismounted and dropped the lead of her horse gently to the ground as she stood staring out over the deep and iced pool before her.  The breeze blew harshly through her hair as it whipped her dark tendrils about.  The leafless and frosty trees that greatly reached up on the far side of the water glistened beautifully with their iced limbs showing brilliantly, all of which were fully unappreciated by Kaye. 

Kaye
stood quite lost in thought as a hollowness consumed her and the pain pricked cruelly at her heart.

*****

Matthew moved into the stables on that cold and blustery morn in search of his steed.  As he walked down the aisle that separated the stalls, he noticed that Kaye's horse was not within.  A sure and sudden concern flashed through his body for she had been so changed ever since their return and he worried for her melancholy state and for her riding alone. 

This was especially troubling for t
he weather had turned quite wintry as of late.  The snows had grown deeper as the winds blew more harshly then they had in all the years that he could remember.  He also knew that Kaye barely ate and it was obvious she was not sleeping well for her skin had taken on a pallid hue and her eyes had sunken further into her face.  This was so reminiscent of two years ago when she had made herself sick before her impending marriage to the Scottish Highlander.  Matthew, as had all of the family, began to worry greatly for the health and wellness of their dear Kaye.

He
mounted his beast and moved quickly out of the stables and across the drawbridge as he gained the snowy field beyond.  Matthew had no understanding of where she would have gone so he began to move quickly across the Devon lands as he looked for fresh tracks in the snow.  For a long time he searched moving towards the woodlands on the eastern side of the estate and then on towards the west.  As he rounded a bend in the road, he breathed a sigh of relief for in the distance and standing next to the great and now frozen lake stood Kaye. 

Matthew rode near
and when his steed was even with her mare he dismounted quickly as he gained Kaye's side with just a couple of quick strides.  She did not turn nor acknowledge his presence, she simply continued to stare off into the distance with a composed look upon her face.  He was certain she was not appreciating the sheer beauty of the sunrise upon the frozen tree limbs in the distance for she was simply staring with a strange void upon her face.

Matthew reached over and
placed his arm over Kaye's shoulders, a wordless and brotherly gesture to offer her his strength and to show her that he cared.  He was saddened as he felt her cold and unresponsive body lean weakly into his.  How his heart broke for the joyful person that she had once been and how he wished he could bring her back.  He turned slightly so that he could look into her face as he spoke. 

"My dearest Kaye.
  I have not approached you since we returned for I thought that you needed your time alone to recover from the tragedies that were laid upon you.  But I think I have erred and should never have allowed this to go on for so long.  I worry so greatly about you.  You are not well and I am afraid you will do yourself a great harm if you continue as such.  Please, dear sister, my dear friend, allow me to help you."

Kaye could only stare back at him without
speaking for she was not sure where to begin or how to reach out.  Her pain and her sadness ran so deep within and it was all just so personal and a horrid reflection upon herself.  She knew that he wished ardently to help her but she was just not sure how she could reach back to him.

Kaye simply looked at Matthew, the tears beginning to well in her eyes
as a hollowness played entirely upon her heart.  She so longed for someone she could trust and someone she could divulge her misery to.  But could she trust this one to bear her secrets?  Was she being fair to him?  Would he understand or simply think her an emotional woman and laugh at her silliness?

She knew she had to trust in someone
so that he could understand her overwhelming grief and she truly wished for him to understand her anguish.  She had placed her confidence in Matthew previously and he had protected her and she could only hope that he would do so again.  So she guardedly began disclosing the dreams of her soul and the complete misery she felt.

"Matthew,
you may think me quite the silly woman when you hear this and I tell you because you have asked and I truly wish for you to understand."  She breathed deeply as she closed her eyes as she continued. 

"W
hen I was but a child, I had only one dream.  And that dream was to someday marry, pledge my love and do my duty to my husband and my lord.  But I had a most silly notion that I did not want just any husband, I longed for one that I could truly love and cherish and who would love me in return."

She looked
down further and away from his eyes, unsure if she could go on for the misery was encompassing her.  But Matthew did not speak, he simply moved closer and placed his strong arm around her shoulders further as he squeezed her gently and provided the complete strength she needed to go on.

With a deep sigh
Kaye continued, "Then in the days before Marie wed, a certain panic began to overtake me for I was the eldest and had no one to love, no one that had claimed me and I had no prospects in sight.  I was quite afraid of being alone and this greatly frightened me and wore heavily upon my heart."

She then next spoke of the fears that
consumed her on that day as she witnessed Marie and Lord Stephen taking their vows and how alone she felt even though she was standing in the middle of a very crowded room.  It appeared to her on that day that the Lord Hann was the answer to her prayers for he seemed kind and very attentive to her needs.  While she admitted he was not the one in her dreams to whom she would have married, he had appeared to have only the best of intentions within his heart.

"I
understand now that I made a hasty decision for the panic had greatly consumed me on that day.  He was there and he appeared to be my only option and that is why I agreed to become his wife."

Kaye
paused as the memories of Marie's wedding day flooded through her mind.  She then explained that it was only after she had said her vows that she began to worry for the rushed decision she had made.  But made it, she had and she was determined to live by her sworn duty for the pledges she had made had bound her for life.

Kaye sighed once again as she heavily lowered
her head in shame.  She had revealed much to her cousin but she could not yet speak of the one that had stolen her heart, the blonde Scottish Highlander warrior that continually plagued her dreams at night.  For she was hardly willing to admit to herself out loud that he was the one she lived for and had hoped for.

Matthew looked at her deeply and finally spoke.  "My dearest Kaye.  You are such a bea
utiful woman and have the kindest of hearts!  There are plenty of men out there that would fight to have you as their wife and some that could truly deserve you.  Once your annulment is granted, I truly swear I will do all I can to find you one that you will be proud and happy to be with for the remainder of your days.  Please do not worry or fret for this is my solemn pledge to you and honor it, I will."

He looked at her deeply once again
, his sincere promise laid out before her and one that he took genuinely and seriously and would fulfill for her.

He
continued on, "But for me to promise this to you, you must promise
me
one simple thing."

Kaye looked
up into Matthew's eyes and knew that she could not refuse his request.  She would do her best to comply with whatever it was for everything that he had done for her.

"You must take care of yourself.
  You must both rest and eat for I fear for your health.  Please dear, Kaye, say you will promise me."

She was not
sure if it was the pleading in his eyes or because she had finally spoken of the things within her heart that afforded her to free some of the great weight that had been heavily crushing her heart.  She felt a sense of calm come over her and knew now that she could be strong for she truly realized that she was nothing like the young girl that was so sickly those two years ago when the Bruce Lord had come to claim her as a wife.  Kaye had a new resolve and recognized that she was a woman with strength.  She also understood that at that very moment whatever happened to her in the weeks and years ahead, she would do everything in her power to be strong. 

Kaye
gazed into Matthew's eyes and simply said, "Yes, dear Matthew, it is time.  Time to move forward and it is now time to heal."

With that, Kaye
moved back into Matthew's arms as she hugged her dear brother close and provided him a reassurance that she had made a vow to truly begin her life anew.