The Highlander Without a Bride (19 page)

"
During my whole life all I have ever wanted is to be loved and to find someone whom I can love in return.  I so longed to be wanted and to be needed.  Family and love is all I have ever desired in life.  I could live in a hovel within the woods and be happy as long as there was a mutual love."

Kaye breathed deeply
and looked down, tearing her eyes from Tor's as she revealed herself and her shame, "But no one has ever wanted me.  No one has ever fully claimed me.  That is why when my own husband abandoned and rejected me and could not even stand to make me his own…"

M
emories flashed through her mind for the time that she sat upon the horse in front of the dark man and her husband sat idly by watching her being violated.  He did nothing and said nothing that could protect her.  It appeared that his coin had meant more to him than what she had. Then when he left for London for the arms of his own mistress leaving her in the care of the young lord and how the Lord Alden he frightened and abused her so.  Then finally, in the courtyard before the entire Bruce clan and the other Englishmen, when he called her soiled in front of all who mattered to her most.

She gaz
ed up once again into Tor's eyes with a sad and imploring look she asked, "What is wrong with me, for why will no one have me or love me and claim me as their own?"

The tears we
lled once again within her eyes as they spilled over and made a new trail down her cheeks.  Tor could only watch and stare with his heart breaking for her sadness and her tears as the realization of her pain overwhelmed him.  He opened his arms to her and she moved forward laying her head upon his strong chest.  He held her close within as he rocked her gently and comforted her for he was quite unable to find the words.  For a long while they sat as such.

Tor gently
placed a kiss upon her forehead and pulled slightly back so he could once again gain her face.  He looked deeply into her eyes and spoke, "Trust me, milady, when I say that there is nothing wrong with you and you do not need to worry more on that regard."

He continued to look longingly in
to her eyes as he bent forward and placed a single chaste kiss upon her lips as he hoped she would fully understand his thoughts and comprehend his intensions.  But he recognized that she would be too naïve to fully grasp all that raged within his heart.  But soon, he fiercely hoped, she would learn that she could trust him and maybe even love him.

Trust. 
This was something that Kaye knew that she had done too frequently and had been hurt dreadfully as a result of it.  But here was this man Tor, asking her to trust him and begging her with his eyes to at least give him that chance.  Kaye gazed back at the Scottish Highlander who touched her deeply even when he was across the room.  She knew not entirely of what he spoke, but instead chose to concede and trust this man.  He had always shown her a true kindness many times in the past and had always seemed to be there when she needed him most.  And she knew that he most assuredly stirred her senses within.

She
continued to gaze at him intensely as she was very deep in thought, recounting her life of the last few months.  She considered her pains and the true blessing that now truly was hers. 

She breathed contentedly, pondering
all that was laid out before her and of the trust he asked of her now culminating a certain boldness.  So she asked, "Tor?  I have been thinking of how you and I have crossed paths these times over the last weeks and I have but one question."

He looked at her saying nothing with his voice,
only prompting her on with his eyes.

"When I was in
Scotland and you were called to duty to fight the Grants, why did you not come to me and at least say goodbye?"

Tor answered softly
with a heavy sigh upon his voice, "But I did, milady.  I was there within your rooms that night.  I did not think that I had a right to speak to you for you had recently been through so much and I was unsure if you would forgive me for the many pains I allowed happen to you.  So I placed my medallion upon the table for you before I left.  It was my way of telling you that I would forever be there for you.  All you had to do was to simply return it to me and I would come."

There was a long silence a
s he continued.  "But you did not take it with you.  When I returned and found it still where I had left it upon your side table I was devastated.  For I assumed that you had rejected me…"

Kaye gasped in horror as she understood
for the first time the pain she must have inflicted.  She responded breathlessly, "But I never saw it!  I rose that day and because of the uncertainties of the battle we left immediately."

Kaye
looked once again into his eyes as she now understood how it must have appeared as she looked at him beseechingly.  She raised her hand up slightly, to brush the back of her fingers across his strong cheek as she said, "Please know, milord, that I never rejected you…would never reject
you.
"

With a smile he looked
down at Kaye with a gladness upon his heart for he now understood fully what had happened on that day and his hasty assessment.  He closed his eyes as he silently sent his full gratitude back to the Highlands, back to his lord's wife Bridget.  For she was the one that must have known the feelings from both sides.  She appeared to be the only one who had not given up hope for had she not asked him to make this journey…

He
moved his hand to grasp hers that was still upon his face, placing a kiss once again upon her fingertips as he held it tightly within his.  He looked forlornly around the room,
her
room and with a deep sigh and a full knowing of where he was he spoke again softly, "I must go…"

Kaye looked at him wide eyed and in terror as the feeling of abandonment
and confusion permeated her heart as she tightened her grip on his hands. 

"Please, you cannot
leave me now!"

He looked at her
genuinely, understanding what his words must have meant to her as a small smile appeared upon his lips. 

"I
am very sorry, milady, for I did not speak quite clearly enough.  I meant I need to leave your
chamber
before we are discovered.  'Tis not proper that I be in here."

A full blush gently rose upon her
cheeks for the truth that he had just spoken.  For it was true that his presence was not appropriate.

He
begrudgingly stood and bending over her hand, placed a gentle kiss once again upon her knuckles.  With a smile he nodded, then moved to exit her room.

As he reached the doorway and moved his hand to the knob, she asked once again meekly, "You will not leave me?"

He turned and smiled back at the exquisite woman sitting upon the bed and said solemnly, "No, milady, trust me when I say that I will
never
leave you.  I will wait patiently for your company in the great hall below." 

Tor
bowed deeply once again and walked from the room with a full smile upon his lips and an immense joy like no other he had ever felt within his heart.

CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX

Tor stood in the great hall near the
hearth as the roaring fire created a pleasant warmth as he stood in conversation with the Lord Devon, the lord's brother-in-law Roger and Matthew.  He was relaying the story of how Father Flannigan had arrived at the Bruce keep and had hoped that Kaye was still in residence for he had explained that it was not very often that he traveled to England.  When he was told that she had returned home, his own lord and lady had commissioned Tor to do his bidding. 

Tor
began to explain further of how when he had left Scotland the weather had been tolerable when a slight movement caught his eyes at the top of the stairs upon the landing near the family's chambers.  His words stopped mid-sentence as the breath caught in his throat and his heart beat wildly at the vision that appeared above them.  The men within his presence watched him falter and openly gawk, turning to see what had gained the powerful warrior's attention.

Kaye
had come fully into view pausing at the top of the stairs.  Her beautiful ebony hair was long and unbound and its glorious waves fell magnificently past her shoulders and down to her waist.  She had changed her gown to one of a deep blue that matched her eyes with sleeves that came down just past her elbows.  The long and silky gown dipped low in front with the very tops of her generous breasts showing enticingly above the gilded edges of the fabric.  The dress alluringly fit her tiny waist as the skirting flowed out generously around her.

As Tor stared at Kaye
he fully acknowledged to himself that she was a vision of true beauty both inside and out and he wanted her and knew that he must have her for his very own and for all of time.  But he wanted more then to just possess her for he wanted to love her and protect her and strived to ultimately some day, prove that he could truly deserve her. 

Matthew
had seen Kaye, too, and made a slight move in her direction so that he could assist her down into the hall.  Before he could succeed with his first full step, Tor placed a strong hand upon his shoulder and halted him entirely in his tracks.  As Matthew looked back at the Scotsman, he could only smile for the large blonde warrior was obviously staring at her and clearly had only one thing upon his mind and that was his obvious adoration of Kaye.  With a full pleasure within, Matthew gladly conceded for he knew in his heart that he truly approved of what he hoped would be a favorable union.  For Kaye deserved nothing less then what he knew this proud warrior would offer.

Tor moved forward through the hall, his eyes never
leaving the woman before him as he took the stairs two at a time until he reached her side.  She smiled warmly at him with a stunning smile, her eyes softening at his touch as she reached forward for his proffered arm.

With Kaye firmly grasping Tor's elbow,
they walked down the stairs, he leading her across the hall and over to the grouping of men who now flanked the fire.  When they reached the hearth, she was offered a chair but instead she chose to remain on Tor's arm and be by his side.  She stood next to him proudly as she held a pleasant and genuine smile upon her face all the while.

The men continued the
ir conversations of the weather and of the uncharacteristic and deep snows that had accumulated in the recent days.  Kaye interjected as she deemed necessary, speaking and laughing as the conversations flowed from topic to topic with a true happiness and contentedness now openly upon her face.

At one point, Kaye asked the gentlemen to excuse her so she could make her way across the hall and over to her mother who had just made her way from the kitchens.
She had one notion in mind and that was to ensure her mother placed Tor at the head table and next to her side. For while she had not acknowledged her full feelings for the Highlander to any other within the room, she was going to ensure he was always near.

The men
all watched Kaye walk away, each one amazed for the sudden and complete transformation that had come over her with only one fully aware of the complete depth of it.

It was
Lord Devon who spoke frankly, looking directly at Tor.  "Milord, I am so glad that you have had the opportunity to bring us this missive.  For I do declare that it has made a grave difference in our Kaye.  I have not seen her as such for a very long while and for that, I am forever in your debt."

Tor could only incline his head slightly, the unfamiliar praise welcomed but slightly uncomfortable
for the speaking of it.

It was Matthew that spoke next
with a hopefulness upon his heart, "So how long will you grace us with your presence, milord?"

That was a much more difficul
t question to answer for had Tor not visited a certain maiden's chamber earlier in that very day, he may have already left to return to his homelands.  But now, he was not so sure and he knew not how to broach the subject.

"That depends, milord."

Matthew spoke, attempting to hide the slight smile that pulled at his lips for he was quite certain he fully knew what, or better
who
had swayed him, "Oh really?  Upon what, milord?"

Tor was now visibly shaken.  Uncomfortable is what he
really was for he was quite unsure of the customs of those who lived in England.  He knew what was expected in Scotland, but things were so terribly formal here.  He suddenly felt a warmth surround him, a heat as if he had been too close to the fire as he awkwardly shifted his weight from foot to foot.

So he simply blurted out for all the men to hear, the whole while looking imploringly at the
Lord Devon.  "Upon your daughter, milord.  While I have not asked for her consent as of yet, I intend to marry her for I wish to have her as my wife."

Matthew smiled widely
as a pleased relief flooded his heart for the words he had so hoped to hear spoken.  He understood most assuredly as he watched Kaye's face as she descend the stairs upon Tor's arm that the feelings were obviously mutual. 

Lord
Devon, however, who had not quite been privy to all of Kaye's feelings, could only gaze at the Scottish Highlander as he was severely startled upon his declaration.  For long moments he simply stared at the large and now very uncomfortable looking warrior.  For he never would have guessed that this would be the one that his daughter would have chosen.  She was so English, so accustomed to their way of life and he was concerned that maybe she was not as adaptable as was necessary for her happiness.  And he was so very frightened of her making yet another mistake and another grave error in judgment.

The silence stretched
awkwardly on as the Lord Devon considered the words of the Scotsman.  He was not really ready to speak and most definitely not prepared to consent.  At that very quiet and awkward moment, Kaye returned to the small group of men as she took her place once again next to Tor, the stilting and discomforted silence looming on.

Kaye
could only stare at each of the men in confusion for when she had left they were conversing steadily, cordially and quite gaily.  Now, everything was very quiet and uncomfortable and her father was staring wide-eyed at Tor.  What possibly could have gone wrong in her short absence?

At that
very moment, the front doors opened wide and the hall began to steadily fill with people who were all coming to the great chamber for the evening meal.  Lord Devon felt the movement within the hall and turned to gaze at the influx of people.  He returned his eyes to the group before the hearth as he awkwardly excused himself from their sides yet ever thankful for this slight reprieve.  Stoically and in deep thought, he walked across the hall to retrieve his wife and to get on with the evening meal.

*****

Tor sat between Lord Devon and Kaye at the head table as a stilted silence still ensued between the two men.  To Kaye's immediate right sat the profusely smiling Matthew.  Several times Kaye looked sideways at her dear cousin as his huge smile abundantly showed upon his face and a questioning look upon hers.  His actions were just so much in contrast to the two sitting directly to her left and she was quite perplexed by all of it.  The silence concerned her for she was still uncertain as to what had transpired in her absence.  She sincerely hoped that the offense, whatever it could be, was not longstanding or harbored on both sides. 

When the
sup was over and the hall began to empty, Kaye reluctantly realized that the night would soon end for the two and they would need to retire to their separate chambers.  A sadness began to grow and move through her for his missing presence already, even before he excused himself for the night.

When all had
exited the hall for the evening with the exception of Tor, Kaye and her parents, Lord Devon turned to Tor and said, "If it pleases you sire, I would like you to join us as we sit before the hearth for a short while."

Kaye was happy for she could extend her time with
her Scottish Highlander, but by the pained look upon Tor's face it was obvious he did not feel the same way.  Confused, she followed the group to the chairs in front of the fire, her mood now sobering while her mind remained unsure of most everything.

The four sat before the fire, an uncomfortable silence laid out be
fore them.  It was the Lord Devon who finally spoke first, turning and looking directly and compellingly at Tor. 

"That is your
wish?"

With
out hesitation and with a firm tone in his voice Tor replied, "Yes, milord, and without a doubt."

Lord
Devon looked hard at Tor for extended moments longer, then without speaking he stood as he took his wife's arm within his own and turned to exit the great chamber.  The lord and lady moved slowly away from the two who sat a bit started next to the hearth, quite confused by his response.  As he drew near to the stairs, the lord turned back slightly and looked over his shoulder as he stated very loudly for them to hear, "Very well, milord, very well…"