The Honeymoon Period (The Austin Series) (30 page)

‘Mia …
don’t,’ he whispered as he tried to catch him breath.

‘I’m so sorry.
I heard what happened this morning.’

‘Please
don’t apologise, I don’t deserve it. I’m a fucking shit for treating you like
that.’

‘You were
hurt and needed to hurt someone back, I get it.’

‘Not
you
Mia … it should never have been
you
. I’d never have made it through the
last few weeks without you and to be so nasty … God, what the hell have I done?’
he gasped for air as his body jerked again and I clutched him tightly.

‘Gabe, that
old saying goes that you always hurt the ones you love. You needed to throw a
few punches and you knew you could throw them my way because I could take it.
Yes I was upset, but I’m still here Gabe, I’m still standing and we’re going to
deal with this
together
, ok? Come on baby, get out and get dry for me,’
I planted a gentle kiss on the back of his shoulder and silently thanked Lexi
for giving me the reminder I needed to not give up on him.

‘I can’t, I
don’t want you to see me like this, especially not after how I just treated
you. I don’t deserve you.’

‘Gabe, I’m
not going anywhere, you need me right now. I want to be here for you, let me
help you.’ I kissed his injured shoulder again and again and leaned my cheek on
his back and felt him sob again, my name painfully tangled up in there
somewhere. I let go of him and slid down the tiles to sit on the floor, my legs
outstretched in my wet denim. ‘Come here, sit with me,’ I said softly as I
looked up at his back and sensed his hesitation. ‘Come to me Gabe, just let me
hold you, we’re going to be ok. I love you baby.’ I watched his shoulders slump
and heard him take a deep breath. ‘I love you, Gabe.’ I watched his hands move
to his face before he turned and looked at me sitting on the floor.

‘You’re
fully clothed,’ he whispered and I tried not to let him see me react to his
upset childlike face.

‘You needed
me and you were in here, so I came to you, now it’s your turn to come to me.’ I
reached up with my hand and he hesitated, then took it and lowered himself down
next to me. I grabbed his legs, pulled them over mine and wrapped both arms
around him as he buried his face in my neck and started to sob again. I stroked
the back of his neck as I nosed into his hair and kissed his head as I felt his
arms go tightly around my waist. We sat there with the hot water washing over
us and it reminded me of the time we were in the bath and he’d sobbed over his
mother. His swimming was a such big deal to him too, he’d been in complete denial
the last few weeks thinking he could go back to normal and it must have been
such a shock to him to have a swimming professional tell him what everyone had
tried to tell him all along. I closed my eyes, my head on his and prepared
myself for a long wait. It felt like longer, but was only a few minutes before I
heard him whisper.

‘I don’t
know what to do, Mia.’

‘What do
you want to do?’ I kissed his hair again.

‘I love
swimming, it’s a huge part of my life.’

‘I know it
is. What happens if you get fitter and you start competing again further down
the line?’

‘I could damage
my shoulder even more and end up having to have more surgery.’

‘Would that
mean you could still swim as well as you can now?’

‘No,’ he
sighed as he trailed his fingers up and down my sodden thigh. ‘It would probably
make me worse.’

‘Ok, so do
you need to make a decision
right now
about whether to think about
competing again?’

‘No.’

‘Then
don’t.’ I kissed his head again. ‘You’ve just started this therapy and the
specialist is going to give you a worst case scenario so you don’t get your
hopes up. For now you’re just going to take it day by day and see how your
shoulder holds up and improves. When it’s as strong as it’s going to get, you
and all the specialists can reassess the situation together and then you make a
final decision.’

‘You make
it sound so simple.’

‘I know
it’s not Gabe, but it’s out of your control right now and the therapist can
only surmise what he thinks may happen. You need to give it time and see how you’re
doing in a couple of months. Take it day by day and eventually you’ll come to
the right decision for you.’

‘But it’s my
thing
, Mia,’ he sighed.

‘It’s not your
only thing, Gabe. You’re so much more than one thing, you can still be so much
more. I didn’t fall in love with you just because you’re a great swimmer you
know,’ I murmured against his forehead and kissed it. He sighed and sat upright
and looked at me sadly.

‘I’m so sorry
I reacted so badly earlier, I’ve just been upset and tense since this morning
and I couldn’t wait for you to get home. I just wanted to have sex with you and
switch off my feelings for a while. I guess I reverted and switched them off
completely. I didn’t even think how hurtful that would be for you. I feel so
awful, Mia.’

‘I know you
do,’ I sighed. I palmed his cheek as I looked at his sad face, but it was my
Gabe looking back at me this time, my hurt and upset Gabe. ‘I just wished you’d
said something to me before it happened. I knew you weren’t you, you’ve never
been that cold or cruel to me.’

‘I can’t
believe I did that though, to get myself off and leave you hanging.’

‘Gabe I can
deal with
that
, I get that you’re a guy and sometimes guys don’t want to
be all romantic and chivalrous in bed, and to date you’ve been nothing
but
generous in looking after me sexually,
too
generous if anything. I’m
just asking you to be honest with me if that’s what you need. Tell me if you
need some mindless detached sex so I’m prepared for it next time. I’ll never
say no, but to go from the way you normally treat me … like a princess, to
suddenly making me feel like a cheap hooker you’d paid to off load in, with no
warning at all, well it was really upsetting.’

‘Fuck, Mia,’
he sighed. He struggled out of my embrace and sat up and leaned back on the
tiles with his hands over his face. ‘I just don’t know what’s wrong with me
lately, I feel constantly on edge and irritable and you’ve put up with all of
that, you’ve stuck by me through everything and now I go and treat you like
shit in bed as well? You must hate me,’ he groaned as he looked at me.

‘Gabe I was
angry and hurt, just like you. Everyone lashes out when they’re feeling
vulnerable.’

‘But if I
can’t even keep you satisfied in bed …’ he choked up and covered his eyes again.

‘Gabe it
was
once
, one time and I was on the verge of coming when you pulled
away, you’ve got no worries on that front. Our sex life is incredible and
you’re so considerate. What are you so frightened of?’

‘That you’ll
be tempted to try it with someone else. That would kill me Mia, if you went
with someone else it’d be the end of us. I just couldn’t ...’ He shuddered
violently and I pulled his hands away as I looked into his eyes.

‘You said
it yourself before Gabe, when it’s as good as it’s always been with us why
would either of us go anywhere else? I love you and I also love sex with you,
this was one blip. I don’t even think about wanting to compare, why would I when
it’s this sensationally mind blowing?’ He cracked a faint smile and I tilted
his chin and kissed him softly. ‘Gabe, you’ve had a really rough few months. Stop
putting all this pressure on yourself, you need time to heal physically and
emotionally and I’m going to be here every step of the way. We agreed to talk
to each other, remember? No lies or hiding the truth. You should have rung me
the minute you had the news and needed to vent.’

‘I didn’t
want to burden you. I’ve put you through so much lately.’

‘You’re my
boyfriend Gabe, no you’re my … whatever you call someone you’re about to live
with, there ought to be a word for it. I’m trying to say that we’ve moved past
just girlfriend and boyfriend, we’re more. You’re more to me than that and I
want to be more than that for you, so that means helping each other out and
being there when the other needs us.’

‘Like
sitting in the shower fully clothed because your “more than” boyfriend is
having a girly moment.’

‘Yes, but
no one could accuse you of being girly with that body or magnificent penis, Mr.
Austin.’

‘You really
think my penis is magnificent?’ He finally gave me a proper smile, looking all
boyishly happy again.

‘Yes, and
if I were to list the things I think you’re good at, your huge heart would be
top of my list, cooking, sex and magnificent penis would be high up too and swimming
would be way down the list.’

‘You’re such
an amazing girlfriend,’ he sighed looking at me with love and wonder, which
made me smile again.

‘Only amazing?’
I teased in mock horror clutching my chest. ‘I fucking
rock
.’

‘Yes, you
do,’ he smiled. ‘Can I kiss you,’ he asked as he smoothed my wet hair out of my
eyes. I nodded and he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me to him and
kissed me, pouring all his feelings into it and I felt my body responding to
him again. I pulled back and he looked at me surprised before he recognised the
look on my face and swung his legs off me.

‘Are you
sure you want to do this so soon after I ….’

‘Yes,’ I
interrupted. ‘But if you don’t let me come this time, trust me, there will be
hell
to pay, Austin,’ I smiled and he finally cracked a laugh. I undid my jeans and
lifted up my bottom as he dragged them down with my knickers and pulled them
off my ankles. I quickly straddled his lap as I peeled off my wet vest and he
reached behind me and undid my bra as I held his erection in place and slid
down onto it, moaning with pleasure. He put both hands on my breasts and
kneaded them as I palmed the tiles above his shoulder and held his gaze as I
started to rise and fall on his lap.

‘God, you’re
so deep. You feel so big this way,’ I gasped.

‘You feel amazing
every time, Mia,’ he caught one of my nipples in his mouth and sucked hard and
tried to lift his hips.

‘No don’t,’
I sighed. ‘Let me, let me do it to you. I want to make you come myself, I want
to look after you tonight.’ His eyes looked up at mine, his mouth anchored on
my breast, his eyes were filled with so much love that I groaned and closed my
eyes as I used every muscle in my thighs and stomach to ride him hard and bring
us both to a glorious climax together. I slumped on him shattered, wondering
how he managed to make all the effort all the time and make it seem so easy. I
wrapped my arms around his neck and felt his tighten around my waist.

‘Can you
forgive me?’ he whispered.

‘I already
have Gabe, but I don’t ever want you to do that to me again, it hurt.’

‘I’m going
to ring Dr. Jarvis myself in the morning and get in to see him urgently. I need
to sort myself out, Mia. You’re more important than anything else in my life
and no way do I want to risk screwing this up. I love you too much to lose you
now.’

‘I know you
do and I love you that much too. Now get that magnificent penis out of me and
go and cook me some dinner man slave. I’m starving.’

‘You’re
sitting on me Mia, you need to get off him.’

I sighed
and kissed him and clambered up. He stood up next to me and helped me clean. I
always blushed when he did it, which always made him smile and kiss me. I
reached down and cleaned him gently and felt him swell in my palm again and
looked at him astonished.

‘You’re
naked,’ he shrugged and turned off the water. ‘I see you like that, he reacts.
He loves you as much as I do.’

‘You’re
spoiling me with these regular erections, Gabe. What when we’re older and they
slow down?’

‘Not that I
like to think about that ever happening, but you’ll slow down with me baby.’

‘I hate to
tell you this but you’re wrong. You’ll hit your sexual peak at twenty-one, mine’s
not until I’m forty.’

‘Forty?
Jesus Christ, I can hardly keep up with you now. What will you be like then?’

‘That’s
what Viagra was invented for,’ I replied laughing as I threw him a towel and
started drying myself.

‘You’re my
Viagra and if you think I’m going to be slowing down, forget it.’

‘Gabe, I know
we’re laughing now, but are you really ok?’ I asked turning serious all of a
sudden.

‘With you
by my side, kicking my arse when I need it kicked, which seems to be a lot
lately, I will be Mia. What about you?’

‘I’m good
now I know what was wrong. Just promise to talk to me when you’re having
concerns and to be completely honest with Dr. Jarvis about what you’re feeling
and everything will sort itself out, Gabe. We’ve been through too much together
to quit now, ok?’

‘Ok.’ he
nodded with a smile that told me just how grateful he was.

‘You’d
better go and give Lexi a big hug and a thank you, too. I was all for leaving
you in here to stew I was that pissed off with you, but she reminded me how
many times you pushed me to talk when I didn’t want to.’ I smiled at him as he
walked over and put his arms around me.