The Honeymoon Period (The Austin Series) (55 page)

‘I don’t
think you’d deliberately hurt me Gabe, but when you fly off the handle it’s
always
with me and sometimes there’s no reasoning with you. And it’s not just that, we’re
moving so fast and sometimes I panic that you’re so in lust with me that it
blinds you to the fact that we argue so much and that it's me that makes you so
angry, so I worry when the lust stops, so will your love.’

‘Mia look
at me, look at me baby.’ I opened my eyes and bit my lip to stop the tears that
I felt building up. ‘Is what you feel for me, just lust?’

‘No,’ I
exclaimed my eyes wide.

‘Well, you
have to trust me that I feel the same. I know it’s love Mia, when you’re
smiling and happy it makes me happy, I want to buy you all the things you want,
take you to all the places you want to see. When you’re sad or hurt it’s like a
knife in my stomach and I just want to bear your pain for you, I want to
protect you from anything and everything that could cause you pain. My heart
aches when I’m not with you. What I feel for you is so much more than lust. I’d
do anything for you, anything to make you happy Mia, the last thing I want to
do is make you frightened of me.’ I buried my face in his neck and clung to him
tightly and let out a sob. This was my Gabe, this was the Gabe I loved. It
wasn’t about the gifts or the expensive weekend breaks, it was him being honest
with me and letting me feel how much he cared for and loved me. ‘I love you
Mia, believe me, it’s so much more than lust for me. How can you doubt that? Am
I doing something wrong?’

‘No, God no,
Gabe. You do everything right to show me how much you love me, it’s me. Me and
my stupid fears. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,’ I sniffed. His lips were
on my neck and I could feel his heart and pulse racing, the music was pulsating
through us both, my body shaking.

‘Baby you
didn’t even want a relationship three months ago and we’re moving in together
in a few weeks, maybe you’re having a panic about it. It can’t have helped with
me upsetting you so often by being so up and down. Moving in together is a big
deal, if it’s too soon for you we can wait, we can wait as long as you want
until you feel that the time is right. Tell me what you need baby, because
right now I’m terrified of you running from me.’

‘Right now
I need
you
, I hear you telling me and that means so much, but I need you
to show me as well, Gabe. Show me how much you want me,’ I begged. The
connection I felt to him when we were having sex was unparalleled. I could feel
his love and adoration in every caress, every firm stroke into me, hear it in
his cries, see it by the look in his eyes and taste it in his flesh and with
each touch of our lips.

‘I do want
you baby, so much, kiss me,’ he whispered hoarsely in my ear before kissing my
neck and making me sag into him. I peppered kisses on every inch of skin from
his neck to the corner of his mouth as I felt his hands roaming my bottom,
touching, groping and igniting me. We locked in a passionate embrace sighing
and I went light headed and had to pull away, the fire in his eyes looked as
intense as mine felt.

‘I need you
inside me,
now
,’ I groaned. He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the
crowd to the exit and I fumbled in my purse to get my coat ticket out, he
already had his jacket on as he helped pull mine around me and hurried me
outside. There were no taxis waiting and I felt like I was going to explode if we
didn’t connect soon. I looked around and saw an alley leading around the back
of some buildings nearby, tugged his hand and starting walking toward it. My
heart was racing at Formula One pace and I could feel my nipples stiffening at
the cold and the thought of him penetrating me. We walked down the alley, rounded
the corner and found a loading bay at the back of one of the buildings.

I quickly
checked that there were no cameras before I pushed him back against the wall
and sank my tongue into his mouth. He undid my jacket and pulled my top away
from one of my breasts and grabbed it as I reached down and rubbed his denim
clad erection. His fingers tugged at my cold hard nipple as I fumbled with his
button and fly, my other hand gripping his backside as he was doing to mine. He
moved his head and started biting my neck and moaned as I slipped my hand into
touch his pulsating, hot erection, he
was
going commando. I tested the
tip which was wet and sticky for me, just as I was for him.

I crouched
and took him in my mouth hard and fast, sucking, swirling, biting as he moaned
and looked down into my eyes. He pulled me up off him and spun me back into the
wall and came at my mouth again as he started to stroke himself before shoving
his wet thumb in my mouth and letting me suck it dry. My breathing hitched with
anticipation as he kneed my legs apart and pulled the wet crotch area of my
shorts aside, his finger ploughing through my tender swollen flesh and he
groaned as he looked at me, so ready for him, so ready and desperate. He thrust
upwards, but only entered me by a few inches and my muscles went crazy trying
to suck him in. I thrashed on the wall and tore at his hair as his tongue ravaged
my mouth until I screamed as he pushed up hard and fast and buried the rest of
himself in me, the cold of his jeans button leaving an imprint in my stomach. I
climaxed within the first few thrusts, crying his name as he pinched my nipple,
rolling it between his fingers.

‘Feel it
baby, feel how much I want you. I love you, Mia,’ he whispered as he circled
his hips and started to move slowly in and out of me, all the while telling me
how much he loved me. I started to cry as I came a second time and clung to his
leather clad biceps as I leaned my cheek against his.

‘And I love
you,
Gabe,’ I sighed and heard him groan and felt him spurt inside me,
the heat of it warming me from the inside out. He kissed me, pulled out
abruptly and sank to his knees holding my shorts to the side and licked me
clean, nipping and sucking on my clit. I hooked a leg over his shoulder as I
palmed the wall for support and yelled his name over and over as my climax
approached. I heard a gasp and opened my eyes and saw Dylan standing holding
hands with a blonde, both transfixed on me, one breast out, Gabe’s face between
my legs. I gasped and then screamed as I was hit with a violent climax and
heard Gabe groan into me as they watched, stunned. I was torn between my shame
and desire to cover up my naked parts quickly, and my need to ride out my
orgasm, but Dylan made the choice for me and quickly covered her eyes and
dragged her back around the corner. I closed my eyes again and enjoyed the ends
of my trembling and the thrill of someone having seen it. Gabe stood up and
leaned over me, hands each side of my head and kissed me tenderly. He then
moved and slid a finger into my sodden shorts and pulled them back into place
before rearranging my top to cover me and pulling my coat around me, belting it
tightly.

‘Better?’
he murmured as he rubbed his nose over mine.

‘Yes,’ I
nodded. ‘But I want to do it again, in the warmth of our room.’

‘I’ll never
understand you, Mia,’ he sighed with a frown and a shake of his head. ‘You tell
me you’re scared it’s all about sex, then you beg me to fuck you, repeatedly.’

‘You’re
right, so what if we have lots of sex, I don’t care when it’s this fantastic
Gabe, I feel so connected to you when you’re inside me. It makes me feel safe
and loved,’ I sighed as I looked up at him.

‘You are
safe and loved when you’re with me Mia, I’d rather die than let you feel any
different.’ He kissed me and scooped me up into his arms and carried me around
the corner and back up the alley. We drew level with Dylan frantically kissing
the blonde up against the wall and she giggled as she saw us over his shoulder
and Dylan turned his head and locked eyes with mine.

‘It’s a
miracle, I found the one, he’s just turned me,’ I called out giggling as we
passed.

‘What was
that about?’ Gabe asked as he strode across the road to the taxi rank.

‘He was
sweet to me and tried to chat me up when I got to the bar, so I told him I was
a lesbian. He just walked around the corner and saw me having an orgasm on your
face, but I think they were both so turned on by seeing it, they’ll both be
having one of their own soon too.’

Gabe burst
out laughing. ‘You said you were a lesbian?’

‘Yes, I
couldn’t think of another way to let him down gently.’

‘I’m not
interested followed up with walking away tends to give a guy the hint. How long
had he been standing there while we were at it?’

‘No idea, I
was enjoying what you were doing too much to care, but he definitely saw the
business end of the transaction and that made me come even harder for you,’ I
replied as I stroked his cheek with my index finger.

‘Him
watching turned you on?’ he asked as he looked down at me. I gulped as I looked
back up at him and tried to read his face, this could go so horribly wrong, but
I couldn’t lie, it had been a bit of a thrill.

‘Yes,’ I
whispered, hoping I’d said it so quietly he wouldn’t have heard. When he
grunted, surprised, I knew he had heard and held my breath waiting for him to
explode, but he just bowed his head and kissed me then carried on walking, so I
relaxed and said nothing back, but I had a feeling that one little word would
come back to bite me in the ass when I least expected it. Gabe didn’t put me
down for the next five minutes while we waited for a taxi to arrive. Despite
the drivers objections Gabe insisted on me staying seated on his lap, my head
on his chest as he lay little kisses all over my hair. I closed my eyes and
enjoyed the closeness, the lack of worries and cares, even if it was just for a
little while.

When we got
back, he carried me through the hotel lobby and I smiled at the receptionist
who stood with her mouth slightly ajar and went pink. Gabe on his own looked
hot, but all officer and a gentleman in a sexy leather jacket, I knew exactly
how she must be feeling to see him right now, she’d be dreaming of that
tonight, imagining it was her in his arms. He headed straight for the bedroom and
gently dropped me on the bed and stripped off and I pulled off my jacket wriggled
out of my shorts and pulled off my shoes and top.

He lay down
on top of me kissing me as he slowly made love to me holding my hands above my
head and begged me to look into his eyes as he made me come twice and emptied
himself into me again. We rolled back and forth as we spent some time just touching
each other and kissing gently. I eventually got up and had a quick shower and
when I got back he was fast asleep on his stomach, facing my side of the bed.
The curtains were still open and the lights of the city cast a soft amber glow
to the room. I lay down on my side and tucked up my legs and just lay watching
him gently breathing. I frowned as I watched him, now he was asleep I felt like
I was drifting again, without him as my anchor. Here in our own little bubble
it had been so easy to be happy, but suddenly I was drowning in worries about
our return home. Were the moments of bliss amidst all the drama since we’d met
really sustainable? I reached out my hand and lay it over his and he made a
soft little moan and shifted slightly and I closed my eyes.

I woke up
feeling like there was a crushing weight on my chest and gasped for air, my
hands were shaking and I felt clammy and nauseous. I bolted upright in the bed
getting my bearings and looked over to see Gabe was still fast asleep. I needed
air, cold air and quickly to dampen the rising, heated fear threatening to
overcome me. I got up and grabbed my new jacket and belted it around me ran out
of the lounge door onto the balcony. It was freezing outside, but I sucked the
cold air into my lungs and tried to quell my panic. I rested my elbows on the
balcony’s old stone wall, my head in my hands. I knew I’d just had a nightmare,
a nightmare that he’d left me, but I couldn’t remember why. My hands were still
shaking and I ignored the numbing cold on my bare extremities.

Suddenly
all the pent up emotions of the last few weeks hit me, I’d tried so desperately
to compartmentalise it all as I didn’t have time to deal with everything then,
I’d needed to be strong for Gabe and to help him recover. All those doors
suddenly opened and my mind was filled with all the negative things I’d tried
to avoid thinking about and I started to sob violently. I cried for Lexi’s
miscarriage and the fact that I hadn’t been able to be there for my best friend,
I cried for Gabe’s accident and the stress and worry of whether he’d be able to
get back to the things he loved. More surprisingly to me was that I cried for
the fact that I might not be able to have children. I’d never wanted them, but
never wanting them was a personal decision, a decision I could have changed my
mind on if I wanted to at some stage in the future, but now that choice had
been taken away from me and I hated that. I couldn’t understand what I’d done
to deserve that, to be punished so harshly and in turn to punish Gabe by not
being able to give him what he so desperately wanted. I howled, not caring if I
woke up half of the city, I wanted it all out of me. I knew he was behind me
before he even said a word and I quickly turned around and ran to him as he
came to me in his black sweat pants, bare chested, and pulled me into his arms,
smoothing my hair. I was sobbing too hard to really even pay attention to how
good he looked with his tousled bed hair and half naked body.