The Incorporated Knight (4 page)

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Authors: L. Sprague de Camp,Catherine Crook de Camp

Tags: #Fantasy, #General, #Fantastic Fiction, #Fiction

BOOK: The Incorporated Knight
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An hour later, blood-spattered from head to foot, they were struggling with the ponderous hide when a man in forester's garb, with a large gilt medallion upon his breast, rode up and dismounted. He was a big, rugged-looking man with a rat-trap mouth.

 

             
"Who slew this beast, good my sirs?" he inquired.

 

             
Jillo spoke: "My noble master, the squire Eudoric Dambertson here. He is the hero who hath brought this accursed beast to book."

 

             
"Be that sooth?" said the man to Eudoric.

 

             
"Well, ah," said Eudoric. "I cannot claim much credit for the deed—"

 

             
"But ye were the slayer, yea? Then, sir, ye are under arrest."

 

             
"What? But wherefore?"

 

             
"Ye shall see." From his garments, the stranger produced a length of cord with knots at intervals. With this device he measured the dragon from nose to tail. Then he stood up.

 

             
"To answer your questions, on three grounds: imprimis, for slaying a dragon out of its lawful season; secundus, for slaying a dragon below the minimum size permitted; and tertius, for slaying a female dragon, a beast protected the year round."

 

             
"You say that this be a female?"

 

             
"Aye; 'tis as plain as the nose on your face."

 

             
"How does one tell, with dragons?"

 

             
"Know, knave, that the male hath small horns behind the eyes, the which this specimen patently lacks."

 

             
"Who are you, anyway?" demanded Eudoric.

 

             
"Senior Game Warden Voytsik of Prath, at your service. My credentials." The man fingered his medallion. "Now, pray, show me your licenses."

 

             
"Licenses?" said Eudoric blankly.

 

             
"Hunting licenses! Understand ye not plain Pathenian?"

 

             
"None told us that such were required, sir," said Jillo.

 

             
"Ignorance of the law is no pretext; ye should have asked. That makes four counts of illegality."

 

             
Eudoric said: "But why—why in the name of the God and Goddess—"

 

             
"Pray, swear not by your false heretical deities!"

 

             
"Well, why should you Pathenians wish to preserve these monstrous reptiles?"

 

             
"Imprimis, because their hides and other parts have commercial value, which would perish were the entire race exterminated. Secundus, because they maintain the balance of nature by devouring the giant snails, which otherwise would issue forth nightly from the forest in such numbers as to strip bare our crops, orchards, and gardens and reduce our folk to
hunger. And tertius, because their presence embellishes the landscape, thus luring foreigners to visit our land and spend their gold therein. Doth that explanation satisfy you?"

 

             
Eudoric had a fleeting thought of assaulting the warden, to render him harmless while he and Jillo salvaged their prize. Even as he thought, three more tough-looking fellows, clad like Voytsik and armed with crossbows, rode out of the trees and formed up behind their leader.

 

             
"Now come along, ye two," said Voytsik.

 

             
"Whither?" asked Eudoric.

 

             
"Back to Liptai. On the morrow, we shall take the stage to Velitchovo, where your case will be tried.
"

 

             
"
Your pardon, sir; we take the what?
"

 

             
"
The stagecoach.
"

 

             
"
What's that, good my sir?"

 

             
"By the only God, ye twain must come from a barbarous land indeed! Ye shall see. Now come along, lest we be benighted in the woods."

 

-

II –
The Smi
l
ing Sorcerer

 

             
The stagecoach made its rounds between Liptai and Velitchovo thrice a fortnight. While Jillo sat out the journey caked with dried blood and sunk in gloom, the equally blood-soaked Eudoric kept his mind off his filthy, stinking state by studying the passing countryside. When possible, he queried the driver about his occupation: pay, hours, fares, the cost of the vehicle, and so on. At last the man tired of his odorous questioner and brusquely ordered him to sit on the dickey seat projecting from the rear of the vehicle, where his fragrance would less offend the other passengers.

 

             
As they neared the capital, the driver whipped his team to a gallop. They rattled along the highroad beside the muddy river Pshora until the stream made a bend. Then they thundered across it on the planks of a bridge.

 

             
Velitchovo was an impressive city, with a cobble-stoned main street leading to the onion-domed, red-black-and-golden cathedral of the One God. In a
massively-timbered municipal palace, a bewhiskered magistrate asked: "Which of you two aliens truly slew the beast?"

 

             
"The younger, hight Eudoric," said Voytsik.

 

             
"Nay, Your Honor, 'twas I!" said Jillo.

 

             
"That is not what he said when we came upon them red-handed from their crime," said Voytsik. "This lean fellow plainly averred that his companion had done the deed, and the other denied it not."

 

             
"I can explain that," said Jillo. "I am the servant of the most worshipful squire, Eudoric Dambertson of Arduen. We set forth to slay the creature, thinking this a noble and heroic deed that should redound to our glory on earth and our credit in Heaven. Whereas we both took part in the act, the fatal stroke was delivered by your humble servant here. Howsomever, wishing like a good servant for all the glory to go to my master, I gave him the utter credit, not knowing that this should be counted as blame."

 

             
"What say ye to that, Master Eudoric?" asked the judge.
>

 

             
"Jillo's account is essentially true," said Eudoric. "I must confess, all the same, that my failure to slay the beast was due to mischance and not to want of intent."

 

             
"Methinks they utter a pack of lies to confuse the court," said Voytsik. "I have told Your Honor of the circumstances of their arrest, whence ye may judge how matters stand."

 

             
The judge put his fingertips together. "Master Eudoric," he said, "ye may plead innocent, or as incurring sole guilt, or as guilty jointly with your servant. I do not think that ye can escape
some guilt, since Goodman Jillo, being your servant, acted under your orders. Ye are therefore responsible for his acts and at the very least a fautor of dragocide."

 

             
"What happens if I plead innocent?" asked Eudoric.

 

             
"Why, in that case, an ye can find an attorney, ye shall be tried in due course. Bail can plainly not be allowed to foreign travelers, who can so easily slip from the grip of the law."

 

             
"In other words, I needs must stay in jail until my case come up. How long will that take?"

 

             
"Since our calendar be crowded, 'twill be at least a year and a half. Whereas, an ye plead guilty, all is settled in a trice."

 

             
"Then I plead sole guilt," said Eudoric.

 

             
"But, dear Master—" wailed Jillo.

 

             
"Hold thy tongue, Jillo! I know what I do." Turning to the judge, Eudoric added: "Furthermore, Your Honor, I do solemnly declare Jillo to be completely innocent, imprimis: because as the court said, he acted under my orders; and secundus: because his action was aimed, not at any gain of's own, but at saving his master from the monster's maw, as any good and faithful servant would do."

 

             
The judge chuckled. "An old head on young shoulders, I perceive. Well, Master Eudoric, I find you guilty on all four counts and amerce you the wonted fine, which be one hundred marks on each count."

 

             
"Four hundred marks!" exclaimed Eudoric. "Our total combined resources, at this moment, amount to fourteen marks and thirty-seven pence, plus some items of property left with Master Kasmar in Liptai."

 

             
"So, ye shall serve out the corresponding prison term, which comes to one mark a day—unless ye can find someone to pay the balance for you. Take him away, jailer."

 

             
"But, Your Honor!" cried Jillo. "What shall I do without my noble master? When shall I see him again?"

 

             
"Ye may visit him any day during visiting hours. It were well if ye brought him somewhat to eat, for our prison fare be not of the daintiest."

 

-

 

             
At the first available visiting hour, Jillo pleaded to be allowed to share Eudoric's sentence. He wailed:

 

             
"Oh, the disgrace of it, that the scion of the noble house of Arduen be mewed up like a common peasant or mechanic! I had a thousand times rather serve your sentence myself—"

 

             
"Be not a bigger fool than thou canst help!" snapped Eudoric. "I took sole blame so that you should be free to run mine errands; whereas, had I shared my guilt with you, we had both been clapped up here. Take this letter to Doctor Raspiudus, seek him out, and acquaint him with our plight. If he be in sooth a true friend of our own Doctor Baldonius, belike he'll come to our rescue."

 

-

 

             
Doctor Raspiudus was short and fat, with a bushy white beard to his waist. "Ah, dear old Baldonius!" he cried in good Helladic. "I mind me of when we were lads together at the Arcane College of Saalingen University! Doth he still string verses together?"

 

             
"Aye, betimes he does," said Eudoric.

 

             
"Now, young man, I daresay that your chiefest desire is to escape this foul hole, is't not?"

 

             
"That,
and
to recover our three remaining animals and other possessions left behind in Liptai,
and
to depart the land with the two square yards of dragon hide that I've promised to Doctor Baldonius, with enough money to see us home."

 

             
"Methinks all these matters were easily arranged, young sir. I need only your power of attorney, to enable me to go to Liptai, recover the objects in question, and return hither to pay your fine and release you. Your firearm is, I fear, lost to you, having been confiscated by the law."

 

             
" 'Twere of little use without a new supply of the magical powder," said Eudoric. "Your plan sounds splendid; but, sir, what do you get out of this?"

 

             
The enchanter rubbed his hands together. "Why, the pleasure of favoring an old friend—and also a chance to acquire most of a dragon's hide for mine own purposes.
I
know somewhat of Baldonius' experiments. An he can do thus-and-so with two yards of dragon,
I
can surely do more with a score."

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