The Intelligent Negotiator (8 page)

S
UMMARY
P
OINTS

Prepare thoroughly for negotiations using the following steps:

• Compile a list of as many as possible items that may be exchanged, and decide which items are “essential,” “important,” “desirable,” and “indifferent.”
  

• Prepare arguments to support the terms you want.
  

• Determine your bottom line by deciding your best alternative to a negotiated agreement.
  

• Estimate the best non-settlement options available to your counterparts.
  

• Establish firm aspiration levels, and set them high. Those who ask for better deals get better deals.
  

• Prepare the most generous opening offers you can rationally defend, both to give yourself bargaining room and to “anchor” the preliminary discussions close to your end of the settlement range.
  

• Visualize how you plan to move from where negotiations begin to where you hope they will end up.
  

• Select an optimal time and location for bargaining encounters.
  

P
ART
II
A
T THE
T
ABLE

C
HAPTER
3
B
UILDING
R
APPORT AND
S
ETTING THE
T
ONE

B
argaining begins at the point of first contact. An Intelligent Negotiator strives to create, from that first step forward, positive relationships and an optimistic negotiating environment. In this chapter you will learn several ways to create this.

First, assess what you already know about those with whom you will be negotiating. Have you negotiated with these counterparts before? Just once, maybe twice, or perhaps several times? For example, if you are discussing price with a regular supplier of yours, or you and your business partner are divvying up the responsibilities for a new project, you are already familiar with each other’s personality and negotiating style. Here you can begin discussions without having to establish new ground rules.

However, if your prior dealings with this counterpart were anything less than extensive—for instance, you’re
dealing with a new client or recently hired account manager—expect to spend the initial moments of your negotiation establishing some personal rapport and setting the desired tone for the discussions.

If you are not at all familiar with the bargaining styles and philosophies of your counterparts, seek out pre-bargaining information about these people from friends or colleagues who may know them. Try to discover whether your prospective counterparts are cooperative or adversarial, pleasant or unpleasant, honest or less than honest, and realistic or unrealistic. By obtaining such intelligence, you can prepare for the kinds of encounters you may reasonably anticipate.

Felicia has a friend who knows the Andersen vice president. From him, she has learned that the vice president is a friendly and open person. She hopes they can get on a first-name basis quickly, to personalize their interaction. Since she likes direct people who say what they’re thinking without playing games, she thinks she is likely to have a productive and pleasant bargaining encounter with the vice president.

C
REATE A
P
OSITIVE
N
EGOTIATING
E
NVIRONMENT

No matter how familiar your counterparts are to you, creating a positive atmosphere is always a prerequisite to cooperative, win-win interactions. Begin in-person discussions with warm handshakes and smiles.
Personalize
the
interaction.
As soon as it is socially acceptable, try to get on a first-name basis to remind your counterpart that you are engaged in personal interactions. (When dealing
with individuals from foreign cultures that have more formal social structures, however, be careful not to use first names too quickly in a manner that may offend your counterparts.) By emphasizing the personal nature of your encounters, you will diminish the likelihood of negative behavior that is more likely to occur during impersonal transactions.

You’ll most likely begin your exchange with small talk about traffic, the weather, sports, and mutual acquaintances. These comments may continue for only a minute or two, or they may continue for a longer period of time. These ritualistic exchanges are
not
a waste of valuable time, but are in fact quite important. They establish the tone for the subsequent discussions. If you and your counterparts do not begin your substantive talks on a positive note, you are effectively handicapping yourselves.

Although personalizing bargaining encounters is beneficial, it is helpful to
depersonalize
the
conflicts
that you must address. Separate the people from the negative issues. This will allow you to diminish the impact of emotions that do not directly affect the problems on the table. The only exception to this is when you deal with interpersonal conflicts in which personal feelings play an important role. In these situations, acknowledge the emotions that contributed to the conflict, and keep them firmly in mind as you address opposing parties.

Think in terms of the conflict when you are evaluating another bargainer’s strategy. Do not take the process personally simply because you know your opponents wish to obtain better terms than they give up. That is a normal aspect of bargaining encounters. After all, you should be trying to get better results for yourself.

Learn from the Innovators’ approaches: Be open, flexible. If your opponents seem cooperative, try to verify
whether their actual behavior is consistent with their apparent predisposition toward open, win-win interactions. During the initial discussions, carefully watch to see whether your adversaries are providing you with information as valuable as the information you are disclosing. If your openness is not being reciprocated, start behaving more strategically. You need to avoid creating an information imbalance favoring your less-forthcoming opponents. Disclosing too much critical information about your own strengths and weaknesses without obtaining reciprocal disclosures from your opponents leaves you vulnerable to manipulation. If, on the other hand, you decide that your opponents are sincerely cooperating, do all you can to reinforce that behavior since this will encourage more open discussions and minimize the likelihood that your adversaries will resort to inappropriate tactics.

Some individuals exhibit overtly competitive tendencies at the beginning of their bargaining interactions. Their office environments are designed to make their counterparts feel uncomfortable. They have large comfortable chairs for themselves and short uncomfortable chairs for you. Their desk and chair take up much of the office space, while the visitor chairs have their backs near the wall. When such individuals are forced to go to the offices of others, they select seats directly across from, instead of adjacent to, their counterparts. They exude little warmth. They sometimes begin talks with their arms folded across their chests and with their legs crossed in a closed and unreceptive manner. They often address you by your last name, even when you are addressing them by their first names. This permits them to depersonalize their interactions with persons they view as their enemy. They find it easier psychologically to use manipulative
tactics against individuals with whom they have not established personal relationships.

The initial portions of bargaining interactions form the framework of the entire encounter. When interactions begin on a hostile or untrusting note, subsequent discussions are likely to be less open and more adversarial than when the discussion began in a congenial and cooperative manner. Even inherently competitive bargaining encounters—such as those involving money—do not have to be conducted in a hostile fashion. In fact, negotiators who can induce their opponents to like them are usually able to obtain better results than bargainers who generate negative reactions.

Skilled negotiators, whichever style they use, recognize that uncivilized conduct undermines the bargaining process. So try to maintain a courteous demeanor. When you encounter rude or nasty behavior, remember that such conduct is a substitute for bargaining proficiency. It is usually employed by less capable negotiators. Never emulate inappropriate behavior. By maintaining a professional approach, you will embarrass rude adversaries and enhance the likelihood of obtaining what you seek. It is always easier to gain concessions from people you are treating well than from individuals you are insulting. Furthermore, if your politeness embarrasses your overly aggressive opponents, they may even make unplanned concessions to assuage their guilty consciences.

When Felicia is ushered into the vice president’s office, he greets her warmly and introduces himself as Richie Solomon, making it clear that he expects to be called “Richie.” He indicates how pleased Andersen is to offer Felicia the network manager position, and notes her excellent qualifications. He says that he is certain they can agree upon mutually beneficial employment terms. Solomon immediately puts Felicia at ease and induces her to think that everything will be fine.

A
TTITUDINAL
B
ARGAINING

When your subtle behavior fails to disarm your overtly competitive or even abrasive counterparts, address the problem more directly through
attitudinal bargaining.
Begin by indicating your unwillingness to view the bargaining process as a competitive, win-lose endeavor and suggesting your desire to establish some preliminary ground rules. If you are seeking to enter into a new business relationship, you can say that you are looking for a mutually beneficial partnership and have no plans to do business with someone who treats you disrespectfully. If you are trying to negotiate with a family member or close friend, you can just ask the other person why he or she has begun the talk in such an inappropriate fashion. Is he or she angry about something you may have done, or upset about something else? If you can disclose and deflect the underlying problem, you can create a more positive negotiating atmosphere.

I remember a discussion with the General Counsel of a large insurance company who told me how amazed he is by the number of claimant lawyers who begin their discussions over large claims with insulting behavior. He simply informs such attorneys that he is the person who decides whether they get any money. He then indicates that if their inappropriate conduct continues, he will not negotiate with them. This attitudinal bargaining usually has the
requisite impact, as claimant lawyers who wish to obtain generous settlement terms moderate their behavior.

When you obtain advance intelligence from others indicating that particular counterparts are likely to approach bargaining interactions in an adversarial and even abrasive manner, prepare to counteract this anticipated behavior. If the discussions will take place in your home or office, provide a hospitable negotiating environment and a warm welcome when the talks begin. Although you should be careful not to disclose too much critical information without receiving reciprocal cooperation, your overtly cooperative conduct may induce some competitive negotiators to moderate their behavior. If your preliminary cooperative overtures are not matched, proceed with caution.

Because of the pleasant way in which Vice President Solomon has begun his discussions with Felicia, she is confident they will have a cooperative and productive interaction. When Solomon takes a seat next to her, instead of returning to the large chair behind his desk, she feels more comfortable. He clearly wants to deal with her on an equal, rather than on a superior-subordinate basis.

Dealing with Obstreperous Counterparts

You may encounter adversarial counterparts whose tactics cannot be moderated through attitudinal bargaining. When this happens, attempt to control the interactions in ways that will diminish the capacity of these aggressors to adversely affect you. For example, when faced with sarcastic and belittling opponents, use the telephone to
conduct your talks. When opponents begin to bother you with offensive tactics, you can indicate that you have other calls or other matters to take care of then break off discussions. You can then call such opponents back after you have calmed down. If particularly aggressive opponents try to intimidate you by invading your personal space (for example, sitting too close to you or standing over you) during in-person encounters, you can meet in a conference room or a dining room containing a large table and place your opponents on the opposite side of the table. This makes it difficult for your adversaries to invade your territory, since such behavior would be pathetically obvious and thus ineffective.

When you’re engaged in conduct that has offended someone else and you know those people are terribly upset, acknowledge the other side’s feelings. Politely permit other parties to express their viewpoint without interruption. Such venting will allow those counterparts to say what they have to say in an environment that should diminish the intensity of the offense. When those persons have finished speaking, indicate that you have heard their message. It can also be helpful, when appropriate, for you to apologize for any conduct that may have contributed to the discomfort of your counterparts. There is no reason for you to accept the blame for circumstances over which you had no control, but suggesting you are sorry for the other person’s feelings or for the negative consequences suffered by him or her can effectively contribute to the healing process. Once distraught counterparts feel their emotions have been respected, they can more easily talk objectively about the actions they seek to correct the situation.