The Intern Affair (4 page)

“I’m sorry for that, but I will not be sorry for leaving or accepting an assignment.”

“I was happy for you as well, but I couldn’t get over the fact that you literally got up and left.
And you didn’t even ask me to drive you to the airport.”

“Would you have come at five o’clock in the morning?”

“That’s exactly what I mean, Talya!
You
didn’t bother asking me
if I would or not.”

The heat from the fireplace was warming up more than their bodies. Their conversation was starting to simmer toward the boiling point.

“I can understand your resentment of my attitude but that still doesn’t explain why you didn’t return my calls.”

“Because, each of your messages was self congratulating, and none were asking how I felt.
So I thought why bother?
She’s doing exactly what she wants and that’s that.”

“You know, you’re absolutely right!
I was doing
exactly
what I wanted to do.
As for not caring about your feelings, you’re wrong.
I’ve never shown you how much I cared, and maybe that was the wrong thing to do.
Now however, we’re right here.
I’m back and I have something to tell you.”

“Here it comes!” He was sneering. “You’re going away again aren’t you? And you’re applauding your successes.” He was looking at Talya reprovingly, yet his eyes pleaded for understanding. “You’ve been a wonderful friend while you were here, but when the adventure swept you off your feet, I didn’t know you anymore.
All these messages, even the letters, I could not bring myself to respond to any of them.
I was hurt.”

“Again, I’m sorry.”
How many times would I have to say it before he would come off the subject?
“Believe me I had no intention of hurting you.
Quite to the contrary, at first I would have liked you to be there.
I also needed to hear your voice or read something from you.”

“Well then, why didn’t you say the words?
Like “
Ghali
, I need you,” or something like that?”

“I don’t know why.
All I know is that things got very complicated and since you didn’t seem interested and I needed someone to talk to, at least. I—”

“You found someone else, didn’t you?” he interrupted with harshness.

“Not
someone else
,
but someone who was there to answer my calls.”

“Who is he?”

“Not so fast,
Ghali
.
You’ve got to understand the circumstances first before I tell you who he is—”

“No, Talya!”
Had it not been for his utmost control,
Ghali
would have
taken
Talya in his arms and kissed her to shut her up, in the same way he had done so many times before tonight. “I didn’t come here to listen to anymore of your stories.
I came here because you had something to tell me.
So, what is it?”

“His name is
Alhassan
Sangare
, he’s our legal advisor in
West Africa
, and since you want it all without explanation—he has asked me to marry him.”
He wanted it straight up—he got it!

“Thank you.
That’s what I wanted from you, some direct reply for a change.
Now you can explain all you want.
But before you do, let me ask you if you’re ready for all that his name implies?”

“No, I’m not.
That’s why I wanted to talk to you today.
I need to know first if our friendship will stand this, or will you just walk away?”

“I think you should know me by now—I would try to help the best I can.
But what you’ve just told me will have an impact on my life and you’ll have to consider what you’re asking.
It’s a little more than just watching you walk out on me, it’s more like asking me to make sure that you take the right steps while doing it.”

They looked at each other.
The flood of emotions rising fast into their hearts was almost palpable.
Breaking up is never easy
. At that minute, Talya wanted to reach for his hand, to feel what she felt all those weeks ago.
They had never been in love, at least she didn’t think so, and the loving they shared was sensual and comfortable—like socks and shoes. However, now, here they were.
Talya knew what she was asking, and he was her best friend.
The question was; would he remain so?

“I don’t know how to say this, Talya, but will you understand how I feel if I told you I can’t help you?
I would fight for your love any day.
I would be there for you anytime if I knew I had a chance to make you mine one day.
But what you’re asking goes far beyond what you could expect of me.”
He lowered his eyes and drank a little of his whiskey.

Talya,
you’re an idiot!
What on earth made you think that he would do what you were asking?
He was right.
Talya was darn right self-
c
e
nt
red
.

“
Ghali
, I’m so sorry.
It was selfish of me.
I should have known better than to propose such a thing.
The only thing I would say in my
defence
is that I need someone who would understand what I am going through.
And I know of no one around here that would—”

“I know, Talya. Yet I can’t do what you’re asking.
Even if I tried, it would end up in disaster.
I care too much for you, and, although I resented the fact that you went away, I wanted you back.
I needed you.
Now, the only thing left for me to do is to pick up the pieces and leave you be.
Obviously, I am not the one who will give you what you need.”
His voice, his whole attitude was matter-of-fact.

Talya gave it one last shot. “You haven’t even asked me if I am in love with
Alhassan
.”

“I didn’t have to.
Your eyes tell me that you
want to love him
but I don’t think you are
in love with him.
Let me ask you this; how will you cope?”

“Cope with what?”

“…with his loving and his beliefs, or even his way of life?
You said you weren’t ready, and I can believe that.
Just keep your head above water.
And don’t marry him if you can’t cope.”

“Thanks, those are words I needed to hear.
I’m glad that you care enough at least to have asked these questions.”

Ghali
finished his whiskey, rose, and looking down at Talya
, he said,
“I think this is the end of the road for us.
I have to go now; I’ve got a couple house-calls to make before going home.”

“Okay then, but will I be able to call you from time to time?”
It was Talya’s turn to plead.

“You know very well the answer to that question.
I was in love with you, and you didn’t realize it.” He shrugged, his presence towering over her.
“So, I’ll be answering your calls anytime.
You can be sure that I’ve learned my lesson.
No more messages or voice mails left unattended—”

He kissed her on the forehead and left quickly.
Talya was stunned.
Her eyes had been opened shut.

For a long while, she sat watching the flames as if mesmerized.
She reflected on everything
Ghali
had said and on all of those feelings that she shared with
Alhassan
. What a distinct path the two relationships had
taken
.

3

When Talya
got back to her apartment, she
dialled
Alhassan
’s number at home.
It was the middle of the night for him.

“Hello?” he answered gruffly.

He told her at one time that he didn’t appreciate being
awa
ken
ed
by a phone call.

“
Alhassan
.
How are you?”

“Talya, my dear God, what’s happening?
Where are you?”
he said
his voice faltering.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I just needed to hear your voice.
I needed you—”

“Are you all right?
Why are you calling?”

“Wake-up,
Alhassan
.
I’m okay. I just miss you, that’s all.”

“But, it’s four o’clock in the morning. I’m happy that you’ve called.
I can’t stand it.
How long before you come back?
It’s only been a week and already, I’m like a zombie.
Mansur
even said that I needed holidays—”

“Then, why don’t you take a few days off and go to Yves’s place.”

“No, I can’t do that.
Anyway I’ve got enough here to keep me out of trouble for a while.
But you haven’t said when you’ll be back.”

“That’s because I don’t know.
Charles
has assigned two people to the projects.
They’ll be heading down to
Senegal
and then
Mali
shortly, I think.”

“I don’t care about them.
It’s you I want back, none other.”

“Hold on,
Alhassan
, this is business.
The two people will be visiting both sites and then they’ll be coming back to
Vancouver
to plan the next move.
And they won’t need me under foot unless
Charles
decides I need to accompany them.”

“Does that mean it’ll be weeks before I see you again?”

“Maybe—”

“I won’t have it.
I’ll fly to
Vancouver
if need be.
I can’t be without you for weeks on end.
It won’t work.”

“Please calm down
,” Talya said soothingly. “
Why don’t you phone me back when you had a chance to wake up?”

“I’m perfectly awake right now. And—”

“And what?”

“Oh God! Help me, Talya. You shouldn’t have phoned.
Hearing your voice and not being able to take you in my arms is going to push me over the edge.”

“Will you calm down?”

“I am going mad without you.”

“I’m going to hang up now—”

“You can hang up if you like but that won’t change the way I feel.
I love you.”

“Yes… I love you too.” The words came out of her mouth mechanically, without warmth or tenderness. Talya hung up.
Ghali
’s words were ringing in her ears,
“you want to love him … but you’re not in love with him.”
She was in tears.
Alhassan
had been right; she shouldn’t have called.

4

Alhassan
looked at the receiver in his hand and replaced it in the cradle.
He was still in bed.
The joy he had felt at hearing Talya’s voice had been quickly substituted for an insane rage at his powerlessness.
She had hung up as he asked, and yet why did she?
Why, why was he feeling so miserable?—because she was so far away and because he couldn’t cope with her absence.
They didn’t have a chance to be together alone during the days before her departure.
She had been so badly hurt by this brute,
Mustafa Kareef
that most days all she wanted was to be left alone or go off with Samir. Samir knew how she felt better than anyone did now.
That, too, was troubling
Alhassan
.
Apparently, he was the only one not understanding or knowing the woman he loved.

He got up, went to the back porch and sat in one of the lounge chairs.
Talya had not even been at his house.
She didn’t know how carefully he had rebuilt it, how he had chosen to decorate it, how he had selected every plant in the garden and how much he loved the place.
When will he be able to show her all of that which made him serenely happy before he met her?

Alhassan
sat there until the sun illuminated the eastern skies.
He got up then, brought out his prayer matt and some water to perform his ritual morning ablutions. He prayed for Talya’s return and for her safeguard.
When the sun peeked through the garden’s hedges,
Alhassan
rolled his matt and went back to bed.
He lay on it pensive.
The quietness of the room seemed to appease his troubled mind and to release the tension from his body.
He fell asleep again.