The Iron Butterfly (13 page)

I spit out the cork shook my head and yelled “NO! Back away. I don’t want you to go through this, I can take the pain.” I closed my eyes to stop the tears pressing out of my eyes. “Prentiss, please don’t make them. They shouldn’t have to go through this.” I was overreacting; I knew that if both students pulled the pain away it wouldn’t be as bad split between the two. But after being the recipient of numerous tortures all against my will, I didn’t ever want to inflict pain on anyone again. Not if I had a choice.

Healer Prentiss gave me a long, calculating look as if she was trying to read my thoughts. She must have understood my desire, because she signaled to the students, and both of my hands were dropped onto the bed. I laid back down and stared again at the wooden ceiling. Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I mentally prepared myself for what was coming. Again I felt someone pick up my hand, and even though I tried to pull it away they wouldn’t release it.

“Please, let go!” I pleaded. Wearily I turned my head toward the student and opened my eyes and met the determined gaze of Joss.

“Hey, little fish,” he said. “You may not want me to take the pain away and I’m not sure why, but I can guess.” He leaned forward and whispered, “But there’s no way in Heaven I’m letting go of you. So don’t even ask.” He brought up his other hand and enclosed my cold shaking hand between his large warm ones. How did I miss his handsome face from among the students? I must be in more pain than I originally thought. Of course, Joss didn’t really need these classes, I was first hand testament to how strong of a healer he already was, but rules were rules.

“We’re ready, Healer Prentiss,” he nodded to Prentiss, who aligned herself by my leg. I stared up at the now familiar ceiling and almost fainted from the first initial pain of the bone being set.

Crying out in fright, I immediately went into shock which sent my mind right back into the memories of the torture chamber. I began to relive all of it while I was wide awake and the pain wouldn’t stop. All of the students gathered around me, their healing robes blurring to take on the form of the Septori.

A second adjustment on my leg, and the headache that had been plaguing me for weeks pounded unmercifully against my skull. Agony ripped through my head and body and the precarious dam that I had built in my mind to hold back the floodgate of memories and pain … broke.

I started screaming. I grasped Joss’ hand hard as I tried to escape the terror and agony. I heard Joss call my name, but my world was consumed by pain as memory after vivid memory assaulted me. I tried to reach for Joss to help me, but I couldn’t feel his hand in mine anymore. I searched and pulled until I connected with him again. But it wouldn’t stop the memories of prison, the beatings, Raven, the cold hard table, the machine that was always thirsty for my blood, all of them.

I felt again the agony as the machine came to life with the energy passing into it and my body spontaneously started to convulse on the healer’s table as if I was still in the machine.

For a split second, I saw Joss white-faced and in shock in the torture room with me, and then it was gone. I was falling into a black abyss of nothingness, and I wanted to let it consume me. To close my eyes forever and let the darkness take me because only then would the pain end.

Slowly my body quit falling. Warmth engulfed me, and the pain ebbed away. I felt myself floating in a warm pool of colorful energy surrounded by the purest light.

The images of the torture and pain faded away and then disappeared altogether. I saw colors floating above me and around me and then pass through me. My body started to feel numb and tingly all over as if I was just waking up from a deep sleep.“Thalia!” I heard Joss calling my name but I felt so comfortable in the pool of light, I didn’t want to wake up.

“Little Fish!” he called again.

That’s it. Now I was irritated. I was going to wake up and give him a piece of my mind, for giving me that ridicules nickname. I urged my body to follow the flow of lights out of the pool. Feeling somewhat lost I walked along a rainbow of energy until I felt my body finally begin to respond.

Opening my eyes I saw that Joss was still holding my hand. He brushed my hair away from my forehead.

“I hate that,” I mumbled.

“Hate what?” Joss questioned.

“Little fish!” I could barely keep my eyes open. It was like I wasn’t fully awake, just barely treading on consciousness. “It’s stupid and childish, just thought you should know.” After I felt I made my point, I let my body and mind go into a deep, dark sleep. Well, until a few minutes ago when I heard the whispered argument and it woke me up.

Healer Prentiss was holding back a furious Joss, who was trying to press through her hands and get around her to get to me.

“Joss, you know that we shouldn’t talk to her until the Adepts do,” she implored. “We are not even really sure what happened?”

“But don’t you think someone should explain to her what happened, so she doesn’t have to face the Adepts unprepared?” There was hidden anger underneath his voice and something else. Fear.

My ears perked up and I snapped to full awareness. I was prepared to report to the Adepts about the dog attack, but I had a feeling that wasn’t what he was referring to.

“The point is she lied!” Prentiss sounded miffed.

“I don’t think so. Don’t forget that Darren and I found her.” He gave a pointed look at Prentiss. “I know the condition that she was found in, I was the one that had to heal her wounds while she was unconscious. She had internal bleeding for goodness sake, and after last night I have firsthand knowledge of what she went through. I
know
she didn’t lie. And I’m prepared to prove it.” He pushed Prentiss to the side and walked to the side of my bed, stopping short when he realized I was awake and had heard everything.

“Hi,” I said meekly, unsure of what I was about to hear.

“Hey, little fish,” he retorted with a sad grin as he pulled a chair over to my bed and straddled it, leaning his bulky frame upon it.

“I TOLD YOU…!” I started defensively.“Yeah, I know. No more stupid nicknames. I just wanted to be sure that you remembered saying that last night.” He paused. “Actually, I wanted to know how much of last night you remember?”

“All of it,” I intoned sadly. “Though I don’t really understand what exactly happened.”

Healer Prentiss jumped in. “It’s my fault really. I should have given you medicine to numb the pain since you refused the students’ help. But I was in such a hurry.” Her hands fluttered nervously as if she batted an imaginary fly away. She took a deep breath as if steeling herself for what she was about to say. “It seems that when we went to set the bone, your mind and body went shock. You started convulsing.” She stopped speaking and shook her head, bewildered.

“Go on,” I prompted her.

“Joss held on and tried pulling the pain from you, but it wasn’t enough. Your mind was injured.” And with a disapproving glare at Joss, she continued. “He then, without permission or training, tried to heal the pain in your mind.”

Joss nodded. “I know, it was stupid of me, but I could see that you were in terrible pain and I did the only thing I could think of. I tried to pull the memories from you, only to be overtaken by them.”

I looked at Joss in astonishment, speechless. “I thought I saw you there, in the room with me?”

“I was there, Thalia, I saw it all. I saw that machine they used on you, the one that looked like a giant iron butterfly.” He looked grim as he asked, “Was that what it was like for you? Did they put you in it often?”

Feeling ashamed that he witnessed some of my worst memories, all I could do was nod my head. “I’m so sorry Joss. You shouldn’t have had to see that.” I covered my face with my hands in humiliation. “It was some of the most degrading moments of my life.” I could feel my cheeks burn. “There were times I wished for death.”

Joss reached to touch me and I flinched at his touch.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly. “It’s a habit.”

“No, Thalia, I’m sorry. I should not have touched you. I should know how sensitive you are to being touched after witnessing what you went through. After Darren and I found you, I often stayed awake at night and wondered what happened to you. And now that I know,” he paused, as if he couldn’t go on.

“It’s all right,” I tried to console him, because I know how he felt.

“No, it’s not,” he was becoming frustrated with himself. “It’s almost as if…” He grabbed his head with his hands and looked at me with his intense, blue eyes and I saw my own pain mirrored back at me. “I wish now I didn’t know. I wish I could take it all back. That’s all I can see now when I look at you. It’s torture for me to see you in that much pain, to see what you went through. I can feel how much you distrust me and are scared of us. ”

I felt like I was punched in the gut. It was a wish that I had made a hundred times over. And here I was hoping that Joss would be able to understand me a little better, but as soon as he spoke those words, I felt as if a giant crevice in the ground opened up and split us apart. He didn’t want to know. He didn’t care, not really.

I turned my head as if by blocking the sight of Joss I could block the pain and maybe erase what he said. The pain was overwhelming, I was being swallowed up and the one person who may have taken it away, who could have helped me through it, now denies the pain and memories.

“Because now there’s the other problem.”

His words forced me to turn my head back to him, but he looked away from me not willing to make eye contact.

“What?” I asked Joss when he didn’t respond. I looked to Healer Prentiss and her eyes dropped to the floor. “Please!” I begged. “Please tell me what has happened. Is Joss in trouble because he read my mind? Tell me what’s going on.”

“Thalia,” he spoke slowly, as if speaking to a child. “I didn’t read your mind or memories; it’s not one of my gifts.” He stopped and looked me dead in the eye. “Whatever happened, I didn’t do it. You did. I felt myself go weak and watched helplessly while you ripped away my defenses and in a surge of power I’ve never felt before, took over me. I was there because you dragged me there.

Chapter 9

“We have a serious problem here.” Adept Lorna stated firmly.

We were once again in the Adept’s meeting room, only this time all of the Adepts were in attendance as well as three guards who escorted me from the infirmary. Even now they were standing guard out in the hall, in case I tried to escape.

And in that moment, that’s exactly what I felt like doing. You could feel the tension in the air and I was finding it hard to breathe. I was given a wooden chair to sit on and even though the healers mended and set the bones in my leg, I was still weak. The chair was also much needed support because Joss’s words were still echoing in my mind. I didn’t believe him at first, and well, I still didn’t believe him.

Nervously I scratched my healed leg, still feeling the itchy warmth of newly re-knitted muscles. I watched Lorna stand and address the Adepts.

She gave the Adepts Healer Prentiss and Joss’ report of what happened the previous night. I watched as Breah’s face paled and then become wary. Her cute pixie face would bob in my direction, and then look away as if she was afraid to make eye contact.

Pax Baton was frowning so hard, you could almost imagine a stormy cloud gathering above his head. Kambel was by far the most excited at the news and you could see him twitch with excitement, jumping across the table for a spare scrap of parchment, pulling from a hidden pocket in his robe a spare quill and ink set. He immediately started to document this whole affair; after all, this was history in the making. Cirrus and Lorna were the most calm, with Cirrus being openly curious and thoughtful and Lorna being nothing but cautious.

Lorna continued speaking in a monotone voice. “We offered Thalia shelter and work here because she wasn’t a threat, just a child that had, for all intents and purposes, been abused. She was a normal human girl who we deemed safe to have among us. But apparently through the Septori’s experiments, we can say that is no longer true. We don’t have any clue to what else he has done to her except that he has succeeded in changing the child.”

“She’s an abomination, the antithesis of everything that we stand for. I think she was sent as a deliberate spy!” Breah spat out. “Why else do you think she’s here?”

“So the experiments worked! Now what! Something like this has never happened before in Calandry or anywhere else in the world,” Kambel interrupted. “The Great Council ruled any experiments on Denai or humans to be outlawed. It is considered a serious crime to tamper with either.”

“So are we going to hold a child responsible for something done to her without her consent?” Pax Baton intoned with his deep voice. “That would be a crime in and of itself.”

Even though Pax looked every bit an assassin or killer, his sense of honest sincerity when it came to right and wrong made me look at him with silent respect. His large frame held an intelligent mind. And though his body language bespoke a quick fighter, he was slow to make any hasty judgments.

“No!” Lorna firmly stated. “And I think I speak for the Council when I say that it would be wrong to punish her for something done against her will.” Unanimous nods went around the table. Lorna took a deep breath and looked right at me. “First we have to decide if she is a threat; to us, to Queen Lilyana, to the people of Calandry?”