The Island Of Alphas: A BBW Paranormal Romance (20 page)

I hadn't meant to sound so resentful, but I was just frustrated.

Eric winced, sighing. "Yes. It seems some of Dominic's men are causing trouble for our guards to the west. Nate and I have to go help resolve things, and unfortunately, I’m not sure if we'll be back by morning."

Now it was my turn to sigh, and I did so loudly, my sick feeling easing just slightly.

"It's fine. The three of us can talk later."

After each giving me a quick kiss, the two of them left the bungalow and I went back to bed, silently cursing Dominic and his men. That's when the thought occurred to me that I could stop all the attacks myself, simply by giving Jason the crystal amulet that Dominic was trying to get. Staring up at a shaft of moonlight slanting across my bedroom ceiling, I decided that before work the next day, I was going to make a visit to the bunker beneath the clinic.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

I ended up never falling back asleep. I decided to just give Jason the amulet Dominic wanted, and stop all the attacking and fighting right there, but then I changed my mind, and then I changed it again, at least a dozen more times. By the time I got out of bed around seven, I decided that I'd meet Jason as planned that evening and tell him that I wouldn't get the amulet without Eric's knowledge.

I wished I could just tell Eric about everything, but for one thing, I didn't want to get Jason in trouble with Dominic, if Dominic were to find out that Jason had gone behind his back to ask me for the amulet. For another thing, with Eric constantly being called away to deal with the attacking wolves, I wasn't sure when I'd even get the chance to talk to him. I couldn't even seem to manage to get enough time with him to tell him I was pregnant.

With only a few patients needing to be seen, my morning at work dragged. It was a typical sunny, gorgeous day on the island, so around noon, Laura and I took our lunches outside and ate on a wooden picnic table situated near some dunes in front of the clinic.

The table had a view of the sparkling ocean and the beach, with its pale golden sand stretching as far as the eye could see. On this day, I found it difficult to enjoy the view.

I found it difficult even to savor my lunch, despite the fact that my morning sickness had abated and my extreme hunger had returned. I simply felt too conflicted and anxious to eat much, both from the situation with my pregnancy and Eric and Nate, and from the situation with Jason and the wolves from Wulfric Palms.

After only a few bites, I set down my BLT sandwich and re-wrapped it in its wax paper wrapping,

Laura immediately looked up from her veggie-and-chicken salad, frowning. "Don't tell me you're done eating already. Three bites of a sandwich isn't nearly enough to sustain a person for a full day of work."

While a few tropical birds shrieked somewhere nearby, I lifted my shoulders in a feeble shrug. "Just can't focus on food right now, I guess."

"Still worked up about being torn between Eric and Nate?"

"Well...that's not exactly my problem. Or,
one
of my problem
s
, plural. I was about to talk to Eric and Nate about one of them last night, but as usual, they were both called away to deal with the other wolves. And I don't mean to make that sound like I'm blaming them or I'm angry at them about that; I'm just frustrated."

Snorting, Laura set her fork down. "Tell me about it. Just for one night, I'd like to sleep next to my husband. Literally every single night for the past several weeks, he's been out dealing with the Forms or the other wolves. The past couple of nights, it's been the other wolves, it seems. I'd do anything to just make them go away."

Thinking about the amulet, and Jason's request, I didn't respond. I couldn't deny that the idea of just doing what he'd asked was striking me as increasingly appealing. Not to mention that despite the fact that he'd broken my heart, shattering my trust in him on a love level, I still trusted him on a different level, just a basic human level, I supposed.

We had a long history together, and I didn't believe he'd ever lie to me about anything regarding the wolves or the island. I felt like I could trust him, at least as far as his assurances that the amulet was all Dominic wanted, and if he got it, he'd just go away.

I'd also been thinking a lot about what Jason and Dominic planned to do with the amulet. If there were women and children who wanted to leave the island, and if the amulet could somehow lead to a way that that could happen, I couldn't imagine withholding it. And yet, I knew Eric would.

The way he'd spoken about Dominic, I couldn't imagine him ever willingly giving him anything. However, I reasoned, maybe his stance would change if I told him exactly why Dominic wanted the amulet. Maybe if I told him that a person I trusted and had known for years, Jason, had assured me that Dominic truly planned to use the amulet for good.

Maybe Eric would change his mind
if
I ever got the chance to talk to him about the whole situation. Which would hopefully be soon after I'd gotten my own situation with my pregnancy resolved. Whenever that would be.

I was spared any further conversation about the wolves with Laura, because Bev, who'd been finishing up something inside the clinic, now came outside and joined us at the picnic table, muttering something about one of the other nurses at the clinic having accidentally disorganized a drawer full of files.

After work, I stopped by my bungalow to quickly change clothes, then set out down the beach to meet Jason, and meet him without the amulet. I hadn't even gone down to the bunker to have a look at it. I'd resolved to give everything some more thought before acting on anything.

After walking in the warm sand for at least a half-hour while the sun sank low in a brilliantly bright orange-and-pink sky, I approached the stretch of beach where Jason and I had met before. I recognized the spot by the large log we'd sat on up by the jungle. I began heading toward the log, silently praying that Jason would be understanding about what I was going to tell him.

At almost the same time, he emerged from the jungle, breaking into a grin when he saw me. "It's so good to see you again, Liz."

Not one hundred percent feeling it, I told him it was good to see him again, too, and mustered a smile in return. When I reached the log, and him, he moved in to give me a kiss on the cheek, and I let him, deciding to let bygones be bygones about the way he'd left me. After all, knowing that he'd thought I'd think him crazy, which I definitely would have, I understood why he hadn't wanted to tell me about his new job assignment on a supernatural island that didn't even exist on a map.

Also, things had worked out pretty well in the end. If Jason hadn't left me, I never would have ended up with Eric, the man I now loved, and loved more than any man I'd ever loved before in my life.

After we'd exchanged a few more pleasantries, Jason got right to it. "So, did you bring the amulet?"

Sure I was frowning, I shook my head. "No. I didn't. I said I'd think about the whole thing; I never said I was going to bring the amulet."

Jason's warm expression faded instantly.

He returned my frown, actually snorting. "Well, forgive me for thinking that you'd think things through, see sense, and bring it. I hope you do realize that because you didn't bring the amulet, you're now responsible for all future attacks on Clearwater. And if Eric or any of his men get hurt or killed, you have no one but yourself to blame.

“Which is pretty pathetic when you could have easily stopped all of this, and also helped many women and children who want to get off the island, if you'd just brought me the amulet today. How very thoughtless and selfish of you, Liz."

He'd practically spat the last few words at me. I stood speechless. Never in all the years I'd know him had Jason ever spoken so harshly to me. Ever. Not even close. Being respectful of each other had actually been one of the constants in our relationship.

Jason had been the type of boyfriend who would only rarely even disagree with me, let alone blame me for things that were out of my control and call me thoughtless and selfish.

Stunned, I drew a blank as far as a response. Intellectually, I felt like I should react in anger and indignation, but I was honestly more baffled than anything. And
baffled
wasn't really even a strong enough word, though I had no idea what was.

However, after a long moment or two glaring at me, practically scowling, Jason suddenly winced, his expression becoming one of complete remorse. "Oh, my God, Liz. I'm so, so, so very sorry. Please forgive me. I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I'm so very sorry. I'm just so tightly wound these days...under so much pressure.

“I just want to do my job and help the people of Wulfric Palms, and without pissing off Dominic. I'm so sorry. I just let the pressure get to me. Can you forgive me for being so abrasive and rude to you?"

Jason's light hazel eyes seemed to be radiating genuine pain and contrition. I honestly felt bad for him. Clearly, he was under an extreme amount of stress, and I could certainly relate to what that felt like. Though his words had been pretty jaw-dropping and even borderline cruel, I decided to just let them go. However, with a caveat.

In response to his question, I nodded. "I can forgive you. But...under one condition. If you ever speak like that to me again, you will not see me again. Ever. Whatever new tentative platonic friendship we're forming will be over. Any remnants of affection I still have left for you will be gone. I realize you're under a great deal of stress, but I won't tolerate you speaking to me disrespectfully, for any reason. I hope I've made myself crystal-clear."

Jason nodded enthusiastically. "You have. You absolutely have. I'll never speak to you that way again. You have my word.

"All right, then. I'm going to hold you to that."

"Completely fair."

"But, yes, I forgive you, then. And if you're ready to speak with total civility, we can talk more about the amulet now."

"Thank you. Thank you, Liz."

We decided to take a stroll along the beach, heading up toward Clearwater, and we set out in silence that wasn't entirely comfortable. I wasn't quite sure what to say, because I wasn't sure what I
could
say. Obviously, Jason wanted me to take the amulet and give it to him without telling Eric. The thought of this struck me as just as sneaky and underhanded and wrong than it had days earlier. Maybe even more so now that Eric's and my relationship had deepened.

After a minute or so of ambling over the sun-warmed sand, both of us holding our shoes, Jason finally spoke, though not about the amulet, to my relief. "Are you happy in Clearwater, Liz? I mean, are you really, truly happy?"

I didn't even hesitate before responding. "Yes. Sometimes I think I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I love my work with the women in the village; I love the island and the climate; and I love Eric. Sometimes I don't know what I ever did to end up in this paradise...to have this be my life. But then, other times...."

Not wanting to say too much about my personal life, I didn't finish the thought and just shrugged.

Jason glanced over at me, his face the perfect picture of concern. "'Other times' what? What makes you unhappy about living here on the island?"

I shrugged again. "I really shouldn't have even said that."

"But you did, and because we're friends now, I want to understand. I want to listen. So, please tell me. What makes you unhappy about living on the island?"

Knowing that he wouldn't just let it go, I exhaled in a rush, deciding to tell him, though maybe not all the nitty-gritty details, like the fact that I was pregnant but I wasn't sure who my unborn baby's father was.

"Well...your boss Dominic's attacks are a constant source of unhappiness for me, because they take Eric away from me. Eric and I love each other and want a future together, but...well, there's some stress involved, even beyond his absences to fight off Dominic and his men. There are just some things that need to be figured out and resolved before Eric and I can move forward, and before I can be truly happy."

"But he
does
love you, though? And you're positive of that?"

"Yes. I'm positive. I know he loves me."

Jason slowly stopped walking and turned to face me. "Take your happiness, then. Get Eric back home with you, where he belongs, and where you can work on whatever issues are between the two of you. It would be so easy to accomplish this. All it would take is for you to simply give me the amulet. Then, immediately, Dominic will have what he wants, and he'll stop attacking Clearwater. Eric will be back home with you. All the women and children in Wulfric Palms that want to go to the United States can.

“Everything will be perfect for everyone."

I'd also stopped walking and now turned to face Jason. "It's not that easy, though. You've said that you don't want me to tell Eric about your request, and you've said that's for your own safety, which I understand. But you're asking me to do something behind Eric's back, and I'm just not comfortable with that at all."