The Island Of Alphas: A BBW Paranormal Romance (21 page)

"But don't the ends justify the means? Wouldn't this tiny little thing done without Eric's knowledge be worth it to create the happiness you want, and to help other people? You have to think about the payoffs, here."

I shifted my feet in the sand, certain there would indeed be payoffs to my deception, but just not sure that I could fully enjoy them while knowing what I'd done.

Suddenly, I had a thought, incredulous that it hadn't occurred to me earlier. "Hey...you say that you don't want me to tell Eric about all this for fear of Dominic doing something to retaliate against you for going behind his back to get the job done, but what would he think if I
did
give you the amulet, and you just show up back in Wulfric Palms with it? Won't he know then, that you went behind his back?"

Now it was Jason's turn to shift his feet. He looked more than a bit uncomfortable, like I'd taken him off guard.

After a long moment spent surveying the gentle waves lapping at his toes, he returned his gaze to my face. "Well...well, I guess in my zeal to help everyone, I hadn't thought that part through yet. But...." He shifted his gaze to the waves for another moment before looking at me again. "I'll just tell Dominic I stealthily crept into Clearwater and took the amulet myself, without involving anyone else."

"But that still would be going behind his back. And since that's what you say you're afraid of him finding out-"

"I'll handle Dominic. Don't even worry about him. In some ways, I've got him wrapped around my little finger. So, don't even worry about him. But at the same time, still don't tell Eric about all this. It's just that...well, if Dominic were to find out that I enlisted your help, and then you told Eric...well, that's just the type of thing that would make him mad. But as long as he thinks I simply got the amulet myself, he'll be fine. Just trust me on this."

"Well...." I paused, heaving a sigh. "Some of the things you're saying don't even really make sense, like there's something you're not telling me, but it doesn't even matter. I'm not going to do what you want me to do. I just can't. I can't betray Eric like that."

With his greenish-golden eyes glinting in the waning sunlight, Jason studied me for a long moment, clenching his jaw. "You know what, Liz? If you don't bring me the amulet...well, how do I say this? There's going to be trouble. Trouble for you, personally."

*

Not even a split-second after Jason had said his threatening-sounding words, I began striding down the beach toward Clearwater, irate. I'd warned him. I didn't care what kind of stress he was under, I wasn't going to tolerate him speaking to me in a hostile, disrespectful sort of way.

"Liz, please! I didn't mean that to come out how it did!"

He was striding along beside me, his expression pleading, but other than a quick glance, I completely ignored him.

"Liz, please. Just stop walking. Just look at me. Please."

I didn't even slow down in the slightest. In fact, I increased my pace to an incredibly fast speed-walk, bordering on a jog.

"That did
not
come out right, Liz, and I'm so sorry. Please let me explain what I meant. By 'There's going to be trouble for you personally,' I just meant that you're going to have a lot of trouble in your personal life if Dominic doesn't stop in his attacks on Clearwater. That's all. It wasn't any kind of a threat, I swear. I just simply wanted you to be aware that Dominic will never stop until he gets what he wants, and so long as that's the case, you'll have problems in your personal life.

“You said yourself that having Eric gone all the time to deal with Dominic is one spot of unhappiness in what is otherwise a very bright and happy life here on the island. I was just trying to make clear to you that if you choose not to get the amulet for me, and if your mind is completely made up about that, you're going to have some troubles in your relationship. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

“I was just trying to help you with a word of warning from a friend to a friend. Please believe me. I would never do or say anything to make you feel threatened. I'm so sorry that I chose my words very poorly back there, and even after you warned me about speaking to you with respect. I'm so sorry. Please believe that what I said back there just came out all wrong."

Still mad, though softening, I didn't respond, and Jason continued trying for a response.

"Come on, Liz. I swear to you on Mr. Blinkers that I didn't intend for what I said to come off as threatening."

That did it. I cracked a smile almost against my will and even had to fight not to laugh.

Mr. Blinkers was a stuffed elephant Jason won for me at a county fair while we'd been visiting his cousin in Iowa years earlier. He'd gotten his name because I'd accidentally dropped him from the top of the Ferris wheel, and by the time we'd been able to retrieve him, he'd been run over by a fair employee driving a golf cart and was mangled, dirty, and missing an eye, making him appear to be blinking.

Jason had suggested we throw him away, but, sentimental about Mr. Blinkers since Jason won him for me, I'd refused, saying that a run through the washer would fix him right up. Only, it hadn't. It had cleaned most of the dirt off his fur but had only served to mangle him further, making his foam "guts" spill out from a tear in his side. I'd kept him anyway, and still had him even after Jason had left me. He was somewhere in my apartment in New York City.

"Believe me, because I'm swearing to you on Mr. Blinkers, Liz. I'd swear to you on his filthy, mangled little head if he were here."

Completely unable to help myself, I burst out laughing, and Jason joined in.

Still heading up the beach toward Clearwater, but walking slowly now, I finally turned my face to look at him. "All right. I believe you. But only because you're swearing on Mr. Blinkers."

"Thank you.""I still won't agree to take the amulet without Eric's knowledge, though. However, I will give the whole situation some more thought. I really don't want to do anything to betray Eric's trust in me, but...." I paused, realizing that I actually was entertaining the idea of taking the amulet. Disappointed in myself, I gave my head a quick shake. "No. I won't betray his trust in me. I can't deny that the idea of stopping all these attacks by Dominic and his men appeals to me an awful lot, but...." I gave my head another quick shake.

"No. I'll just think about things some more. I have some personal issues to deal with right now, too, so that's all I can promise you right now, same as last time. But also same as last time, I won't tell Eric about what you've requested I do, and that's because I don't want Dominic to lose it and try to hurt you."

"Thank you. That's more than fair. And that's all I ask, that you just continue to think things over until we meet again...maybe in five days, same time, let's say? Who knows...if Dominic's attacks continue or even get worse, and if you're barely able to see Eric at all, you might meet me next time amulet in hand, just ready to make it all stop."

A bit uncomfortable, I slowed in my walking even further, not knowing how to respond.

Jason chuckled, giving me a light clap on the back. "No more serious talk for now. I can tell you want to get home, and I should be heading out of these parts before the patrol guarding this part of the jungle and beach circles back around."

He slowed his pace to a stop, and I stopped, too. The sun was now sinking very low, its light fading quickly, though there was still enough light left to reveal bright orange sparks in Jason's strawberry-blond hair. His eyes sparked and twinkled when he spoke next as well.

"Just meet me by the log one more time. Five days from now. Tuesday. Just meet me once more, and if you've thought things over further and still decide not to bring the amulet...well, fair enough. That's your choice, and we'll part as friends. And hopefully good enough friends that you'll send me pictures of Mr. Blinkers the next time you're back in New York.

“See, all I have left of him is my memories. Just sweet, sweet memories of that endearing little fellow with golf cart tracks all over his face. They gave him an air of charming ruggedness, don't you think?"

I burst into laughter once more, making Jason grin.

"I'm glad I could make you laugh, though I suppose I should give the credit to Mr. Blinkers. Keep those happy thoughts in mind, and think things over. See you Tuesday."

After giving me another grin, he began striding away toward the jungle.

The next several days, it rained buckets, the unusual weather matching my mood perfectly, because I hardly saw Eric at all, or Nate, either. They were constantly busy fending off attacks from Dominic, who'd stepped up his activity around the outskirts of the village. If Eric and Nate weren't gone dealing with the whole mess and protecting everyone, they were collapsing in exhaustion, just trying to get a bit of sleep.

I felt terrible for them, especially knowing that one little move on my part could end it all, but I'd have to betray Eric in the process, which I'd come to the conclusion that I could never, ever do. And I'd thought about it, seriously thought about it, during the long, rainy days, which made me feel ashamed. As tempting as it was to just make everything stop, like Jason had said, I felt like the brief thoughts of betrayal I'd had shouldn't have even crossed my mind.

I'd also had thoughts about telling Eric everything, but I just hadn't been able to get over the fact that Jason might be hurt as a result, so I hadn't even attempted to bring up the subject to Eric. I knew I'd never be able to forgive myself if Dominic retaliated against Jason. Not to mention that even if that wasn't an issue, I wasn't sure when I'd even be able to speak to Eric long enough to explain everything. I still hadn't even gotten a chance to tell him and Nate that I was pregnant. I figured I might be full-term and ready to deliver before I did.

To make matters worse, on the evening of the third day of rain, Nate called me with an unmistakable hint of sadness present in his deep voice. "The jungle is quiet right now, and I just wanted to hear your voice. I miss you, Liz. A lot."

Gripping the phone hard enough to break it, I cringed. It broke my heart to think of him missing me and pining for me when I was very much hoping that he was
not
the father of my baby. It somehow seemed cruel, though I could hardly help the fact that my heart had been swayed toward Eric.

However, even with that being the case, there
was
a little part of me that did miss Nate in return. After all, it wasn't that I didn't have affection for him and maybe even a bit of love for him; it was just that I loved Eric more.

Trying to speak the truth while at the same time trying not to mislead him about my true feelings, I responded to Nate quietly and tentatively. "I miss you, too. And Eric."

There was a long pause before Nate spoke again, as if maybe he was contemplating my inclusion of Eric in what I'd just said.

"We've both been thinking about you a lot, and we both feel awful about leaving you alone all these days. This won't be forever, though. We just killed another of Dominic's men tonight, for a total of three down in three days. Slowly, by defending our village, we're chipping away at them, until eventually, there won't be any of them left to attack us. And I know this may seem like a painfully slow process, and it is, but this is better than us attacking Wulfric Palms and having women and children caught in the crossfire of a shifter battle.

“At least this way, we can keep the fighting in the jungle, and away from all people who aren't shifters. Away from you, especially. I'm not sure I'd make it if anything ever happened to you, Liz."

I cringed for the second time during our phone call, my heart aching about what he'd said. If what I wanted to be true
was
true, his heart was going to be broken, even while Eric and I found our happiness.

I had no idea how to respond to what Nate had just said, but fortunately, I didn't have to. He soon said that he heard sounds of fighting just to the west of him and he had

to go, and we quickly ended the call.

Later that evening, Eric sent me a text that made my heart ache just as badly as it had when I'd been talking to Nate. It read:
Just wanted to tell you that I love you so much. This will all be over soon, and we can get to planning our happy new life and making a baby together, just the two of us. Just hang in there. It will be worth it. Can't wait to spend forever with you.