The Jane Austen Handbook (13 page)
Read The Jane Austen Handbook Online
Authors: Margaret C. Sullivan
1. Identify a likely suitor. Pay attention to your daughter’s dance partners for likely prospects at social gatherings. Determine which ones she seems to like best, and weed out the fortune hunters, half-pay officers, and other undesirable candidates.
2. Cultivate his mother. She is as concerned in this matter as you are—and it is always better to get along well with your in-laws.
3. Invite the prospect to your social gatherings. Provide opportunities for your daughter to become better acquainted with her potential husband by inviting him to dinner and evening parties. Feed him well and his heart will no doubt follow. Make sure that he knows that your daughter will be able to provide the same kind of excellent dinners for him and his guests.
4. Chase off the competition. If he is a desirable partner, there will be other mothers sniffing around, hoping to snag him for their daughter or niece. Run them off! You were there first!
5. Talk up your daughter at every opportunity. Let the gentleman and his friends know how difficult it will be for you to part with your angel, but assure them that you will do it for her own good in the face of such an excellent match.
6. Give your daughter a taste of what she can look forward to. Arrange a trip to her suitor’s house and make sure there is someone to show you around. Encourage your daughter to imagine herself as mistress of the house.
7. Contrive to leave the couple alone together. Invite him to your home, then summon your other daughters to your dressing room one by one so your plan is not too obvious.
Do not let them resist the summons; if you have raised them to be dutiful daughters, they will do as they are bid. Time alone will provide him with the opportunity to propose.
8. Remind your daughter of the advantages of the match. Tell her how rich and how great she will be. Point out the carriages and pin money that will be at her disposal. What young lady can resist such an argument?
9. Remind her of her duty. If she is a do-gooder type, remind her that she has a duty to her family to marry well and take care of her widowed mother and orphaned sisters once your husband is deceased.
10. Prevent your husband from talking her out of it. You know what’s best for your own daughter, after all. If a man has twelve thousand a year, it doesn’t matter if he is stupid.
11. Threaten her if necessary. If the silly girl refuses to marry a perfectly acceptable young man because he is stupid or for some other trifling reason, explain to her that you will never speak to her again if she does not marry him.
12. Cry at her wedding. After all your hard work to promote the match, you deserve the release!
IS MRS. BENNET THE HERO OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE?
Some Austen scholars have said that Mrs. Bennet is the real hero of
Pride and Prejudice
, because she alone seems to understand her daughters’ desperate situation. Had Mr. Bennet died before the girls were married, they would have little fortune and no home except at the questionable mercy of Mr. Collins. The scholars argue that Mr. Bennet’s indolent ways and failure to plan for his daughters placed them in a difficult position, and Mrs. Bennet had every right to be angry with Elizabeth for refusing Mr. Collins.
However, contrasting the reactions of Elizabeth’s parents at the news of her engagement to Mr. Darcy can be illuminating. Mr. Bennet does not know that Lizzy has fallen in love with Mr. Darcy and tries to dissuade her, not wanting his favorite daughter to repeat his mistake of marrying unwisely. But once Elizabeth expresses her feelings toward Darcy, he gives his blessing. Despite his failings, Mr. Bennet has his child’s happiness as his first consideration.
Mrs. Bennet, who is equally unaware of Elizabeth’s change of heart, is rude to Darcy, but when Elizabeth shares the news of her engagement she is delighted. “Oh! my sweetest Lizzy! how rich and how great you will be!” she cries. “What pin-money, what jewels, what carriages you will have!” She is concerned only with money, not with wise marriage, and this reaction echoes her happiness at Lydia’s unwise marriage to Mr. Wickham. Mrs. Bennet wants her daughters to marry because it increases her own consequence, not because she truly cares about the girls’ welfare.
She believed he had been drinking too much of Mr. Weston’s good wine, and felt sure that he would want to be talking nonsense
. —
E
MMA
You have had some hints that a particular gentleman has developed an interest in you; the problem is that you cannot stand him because he is stupid, disagreeable, abominably proud, or just plain creepy. While it is true that a man has the power of choice, a woman has the power of refusal. Start off gently; if he does not take the hint, work your way up to letting him have it in a raking broadside.
•
Head him off at the pass
. Let his sister or another relative know that you are not interested. With luck, they will get the message across before it becomes an issue.
•
Be an ice queen
. If he does not make a plain proposal, behave as though you are insulted by his creepy hints.
•
Play the ingénue
. Pretend that you do not understand him. If he comes back later and claims that you accepted him, you can say that you do not know what he is talking about.
•
Be firm
. No means no! If he presses you, keep telling him no until he finally understands, or at least leaves you alone.
•
Distract him
. Introduce him to a girlfriend who is not as picky as you are.
•
Insult him
. You never know, he might take your words to heart and turn himself into quite a good catch!
•
Swoon
. Always effective, but be sure to use this tactic only as a last resort.
WORST (AND FUNNIEST) PROPOSALS IN JANE AUSTEN’S NOVELS
John Thorpe to Catherine Morland in
Northanger Abbey
:
Blustering braggart John Thorpe tries to let Catherine Morland know that he wants to marry her, but does such a hilariously poor job of it that Catherine has no idea that he has made a declaration. Of course, when a girl has Henry Tilney on the brain, who can blame her?
Mr. Collins to Elizabeth Bennet in
Pride and Prejudice:
Elizabeth Bennet’s cousin Mr. Collins, who will inherit her father’s estate, thinks it proper to marry one of the daughters of the house, and chooses Elizabeth rather arbitrarily, despite their complete lack of compatibility. Even Elizabeth is hard put not to laugh when he talks about being run away with his feelings in his solemn, pompous manner. Elizabeth is relatively gracious in her refusal, but Mr. Collins’s refusal to accept her refusal, insisting that she is being coy, is pure comedy.
Mr. Darcy to Elizabeth Bennet in
Pride and Prejudice:
There’s nothing like insulting your potential bride’s family as you ask for a girl’s hand to make her fall in a swoon at your feet. But Darcy redeemed himself by taking Elizabeth’s constructive criticism to heart and did much better with his second proposal, sealing the deal with “dearest, loveliest Elizabeth.” What woman could resist?
Mr. Elton to Emma Woodhouse in
Emma
:
Emma Woodhouse’s matchmaking scheme goes comically awry when the man she had intended for her protégée Harriet Smith thinks he is being encouraged to propose to Emma herself. Mr. Elton does not take rejection well, and his continuing rude behavior as the novel progresses convinces readers that Mr. Elton gets the bride he deserves in the obnoxious Augusta Hawkins.
Mr. Elliot to Anne Elliot in
Persuasion
:
During the concert scene at the Assembly Rooms, Anne’s cousin, the handsome Mr. Elliot, drops broad hints that he wants to marry her. Anne is in love with Captain Wentworth and distrusts the secretive Mr. Elliot, so she finds these comments distressing—even more so when Captain Wentworth leaves the concert in a fit of jealousy. Not only are Mr. Elliot’s hints creepy, but since his first wife had been dead for only a few months, they are vulgar as well.
Henry Crawford to Fanny Price in
Mansfield Park
:
Mr. Crawford is a master manipulator who sees every woman’s weakness and exploits it. In Fanny Price’s case, he uses her love for her brother and her dependent situation to try to persuade her into marriage. Considering the differences in their ideas of morality and propriety, Fanny might have ended up very unhappy indeed had she accepted him.
ENGAGEMENT
M
ARIANNE
D
ASHWOOD
:
“But why were you not there, Edward?—Why did you not come?”
E
DWARD
F
ERRARS
:
“I was engaged elsewhere.”
M
ARIANNE
:
“Engaged! But what was that, when such friends were to be met?”
L
UCY
S
TEELE
:
“Perhaps, Miss Marianne,” cried Lucy, eager to take some revenge on her, “you think young men never stand upon engagements, if they have no mind to keep them, little as well as great.”
—
S
ENSE AND
S
ENSIBILITY
He did it—he popped the question. You are all happiness until a cloud dulls the sunshine of your tender young love. His family does not approve. But he’s sure he can talk them into it if you just give him some time. He will contrive a way to introduce you into the family, and once they know you, they are sure to love you as he does!
Fortunately for you, the law is on your side, as well as society. If he breaks it off, not only will his honor be questionable, but your father can bring suit for breach of promise. All is well so long as you have no reason to doubt his affection, but if he becomes distracted, you will need to remind him of his commitments.
•
Correspond regularly
. Keep yourself fresh in his mind. Because you are engaged, there is nothing wrong with exchanging letters, and they will serve as proof of your engagement. So that your engagement is not discovered before the time is right, you might be put to some pains to
pick up the mail yourself at the post office. Just tell everyone that you need the daily walk.
•
Provide him with a token of your affection
. A lock of your hair set into a ring is an excellent and ever-present reminder of your love for him. If he is tempted to speak with other young ladies, they will no doubt be curious about it, which will serve as a reminder of to whom his loyalty belongs.
•
Chase off poachers
. Do not be afraid to let other young ladies in on the secret if they show an interest in your young man. Appeal to their honor to keep the news in the strictest of confidence.
•
Contrive to be near him
. No doubt there will be some time when you can be alone together.
•
Distract the nosy parkers
. If someone appears to be suspicious of your relationship, throw her off the scent by suggesting that your beloved actually is in love with someone else entirely. Everyone loves gossip, and if you are sufficiently convincing, she will never suspect that you have thrown your dearest one under the stagecoach.
•
Threaten to break off the engagement
. If he gives you a bad time, let him know that you do not need him. You don’t need a man; you can support yourself. Get yourself a position as a governess or companion; that will fix his little red wagon! But remember, angry people are not always wise. You might later regret a hasty, ill-considered action.
He had not forgiven Anne Elliot. She had used him ill, deserted and disappointed him; and worse, she had shewn a feebleness of character in doing so, which his own decided, confident temper could not endure. She had given him up to oblige others. It had been the effect of over-persuasion. It had been weakness and timidity. He had been most warmly attached to her, and had never seen a woman since whom he thought her equal; but, except from some natural sensation of curiosity, he had no desire of meeting her again. Her power with him was gone for ever
. —
P
ERSUASION