Authors: Janet MacLeod Trotter
William pursed his mouth and said nothing. Rose knew he felt awkward at the mention of the people she had worked for. It reminded him of a time when he was too weak to look after his own. And he was a devout Catholic, a brethren of St Bede's, who should not be seen entering the rectory.
âThey're good people,' Rose persisted. âThey'd do anything for Jarrow and working people. And the rector's canny. His favourite saint is St Bede - just like you.'
William looked at her holding Elizabeth, her face flushed and eager, her dark hair escaping from its coil in the wind and snaking around her large eyes and sensual mouth. She was still as pretty as the young girl who had caught his attention at church eight years ago. He loved her for being the simple country girl that she was at heart. But more than that, he loved her liveliness of spirit, her sudden unexpected whims and her joy for living.
He smiled. âHaway then. Take me to see your saintly Liddells, or I'll get no peace.'
Rose kissed him in delight. They strode off down the hill, William singing and Margaret joining in with her own babyish humming.
By the time they reached the rectory, Rose's arms were aching with carrying the baby. William pulled at the brass bell handle. They stood and waited. The face of a small boy peered out from the bay window, then darted out of sight.
âRing again,' Rose urged. On the second ring, Jane answered the door and the boy darted out in front of her.
âWho are you?' he asked, his dark eyes inquisitive.
âDon't be cheeky,' Jane scolded. âHello, Rose. Is that the baby? Eeh, look at the size of Margaret! Come and give Auntie Jane a cuddle.'
She reached up. William carefully lifted Margaret from his shoulders and handed her to the maid.
âUncle Edward's not in,' the boy announced, jumping on and off the top step. âHe's gone on the boat.'
âAye,' Jane confirmed. âThey've both gone on the Cornelia - be away all afternoon. The mistress will be that put out to have missed you.'
âI can't go âcos children aren't invited,' the boy continued. âBut I'm going to be a sailor when I grow up.'
âYou were going to be Viceroy of India five minutes ago,' Jane said, rolling her eyes in exasperation.
William bent down to his height. âGood for you, lad. And what do they call you?'
âAlexander Pringle,' he answered. âWhat do they call you?'
âDon't be cheeky,' Jane warned.
William just laughed and ruffled his dark coppery hair. âWilliam,' he replied, âWilliam Fawcett.'
âHave you got any boys for me to play with, William?' Alexander asked in hope.
âNot yet,'William laughed and winked at Rose.
âCan we come in for a drink of water?' Rose asked, feeling suddenly faint. She handed Elizabeth into William's arms.
âAre you all right?' he asked in concern.
âJust need a sit down,' she panted, her pulse racing uncomfortably.
âCome in the kitchen,' Jane said quickly. âAlexander get out of the way! You'll trip someone up.'
The boy hopped after them. âI'm a pirate with a wooden leg!'
They went through the gloomy dark hall smelling of polish, and through to the familiar kitchen. Rose was hit by hot air from the range and sank on to the bench by the table.
âDon't go giving us all a fright like last year,' Jane cried, pouring her some water from an earthenware jug, Margaret still clamped to her hip.
âWhat happened last year?' Alexander piped up, but no one answered him.
Rose drank the water while William stared at her. She looked over at him. âAm I going to feel like this every summer?' she asked weakly.
âLike what?' he asked.
She grimaced at the familiar wave of nausea. âExpectin',' she whispered.
William sat down quickly. âAlready?' he gasped. She nodded.
âLook at me, William!' cried Alexander, wobbling along the other bench with his hands outstretched. âI'm walking the plank.'
âGet down!' Jane gasped. âEeh, Rose, another bairn on the way. Wait till I tell the mistress!'
âThat's grand!' William declared, recovering quickly from the shock.
Jane fetched biscuits and handed them round. âHere, this'll stop the sickness.' Margaret grabbed one and soon had sticky crumbs all over her face and the furniture as she explored around her. Alexander sat on the table kicking his legs.
âWe're sailing to the Spanish Main looking for treasure,' he imagined. âThis is all we have to eat - biscuits in a barrel.'
Rose smiled, feeling better. âWhere have you come from?' she asked him.
âEngland, of course,' he answered, and began to climb on the table again.
âHoy, down you get, you little monkey,' Jane ordered. He jumped down and hid under the table. âHe's sending me mad. Under me feet all day, never stops with all his questions.'
âWho is he?' Rose asked, dropping her voice.
âSome sort of cousin of the rector's.' Jane shrugged. âHis mam was related - but she died last year. As far as I can make out he's been shoved from pillar to post ever since. He's here for the summer - or until the family can agree what to do with him.'
Under the table they could hear him singing some made-up sea shanty.
âPoor bairn,' Rose sighed.
âHas he no father?' William asked quietly.
Jane leaned forward and whispered, âThey say his mam ran off with a coachman called Pringle and the family wouldn't have anything to do with them. Well, her being a Liddell and one of the gentry, they wouldn't, would they? Now the father's sent him back to her family - says he can't afford to keep him.'
âLook, William!' the boy called. âI've found a cave - come and see.'
William handed the baby back to Rose and crouched down to join him under the table. As they played together, Jane continued in a whisper, âI think Mrs Liddell would like to keep him - them having no bairns of their own. But the rector says he'd be better off at Ravensworth or with one of the richer cousins. Says it's too unhealthy here and they're too busy with the parish. By, the master works himself night and day! The mistress worries about him overdoing it.'
Rose's heart went out to the little boy play-acting under the kitchen table. She could see how much he needed a father and was enjoying William's attention. And losing his mother too!
âTell Mrs Liddell we came to see her,' she told Jane, âand brought the bairns.' She stood up and William crawled from his cramped position, insisting on carrying both the girls.
âYou'll take it easy, lass,' he insisted. âTa-ra, Alexander. I hope you find your treasure.'
âI'm Captain Pringle!' he cried, leaping out and hitting William on the leg with a serving spoon. âYou can't go, I've captured you!'
âGive me that,' Jane intervened, and swiped the weapon from his hands. âNow say you're sorry.'
Suddenly the boy's eyes filled with tears and his chin began to tremble. He gulped, âSorry,' then burst into tears.
William put an arm round him. âThat's all right, Captain.' But the boy struggled free and dashed out of the room, his sobs echoing down the stony back corridor. A door slammed. William and Rose exchanged helpless glances.
âDon't worry about him,' Jane said brusquely. âHe'll be back to pester me soon enough.'
âHe seems a canny bairn,' William said ruefully.
âAye, well, the rector's been schooling him since he came here and the mistress teaches him his manners,' Jane sniffed. âBut underneath he's still a wild Pringle, if you ask me. There's no escaping your breedin'.'
At the beginning of June, Finder's Circus came to Jarrow. For several days before the performances, Rose took the girls in the pram to watch the large tent being erected and to view the wild beasts in their cages. Rose was quite alarmed and felt nauseous at the animal stench. But Margaret came home making roaring noises, not the least in awe of the strange sights and smells.
âLet's take her when it opens,' William said, entranced by her mimicry. âShe really wants to go.'
âYou mean you do,' Rose teased. âI'll stay at home with Elizabeth.'
âHaway, Rose,' William encouraged. âIt's not often some'at this exciting happens round here. You deserve a treat. Mother will mind the baby.'
Rose did not need much persuasion.
The day before they were due to go, William appeared preoccupied. âI was wondering ...' he began.
âWhat?' Rose asked.
âThat lad - Alexander. Stuck in that house with no other bairns - no mam or dad.' He hesitated.
âYou want to take him to the circus,' Rose guessed.
William looked at her cautiously. âWhat d'you think?'
âI think you're a canny man,' she smiled, and touched his face in affection. âI've been thinkin' about the bairn as well. I can call round in the morning and ask, if you like.'
When Rose called at the rectory the next day, Mrs Liddell welcomed her in like an old friend. She seemed taken aback by their offer, but Alexander showed so much enthusiasm that she quickly agreed.
âI'm going to be a lion tamer!' he declared, cracking an imaginary whip.
âMakes a change from being a lion,' Jane muttered as she poured them out some tea in the kitchen.
Alexander was in a fever of excitement by the time they came to collect him in the evening. They took him by the hand, but he could not keep still and kept dashing ahead. Rose prayed they did not lose him in the crowds. But when they got to the tent, the boy kept close to William and held on to him, suddenly overawed by the press of people and the noise. Rose thought it all magical in the soft flare of lamplight, and gasped in delight at the acrobats. Margaret soon fell asleep while Alexander giggled at the clown. But the animals disappointed him.
âWhen will the man get eaten?' he kept asking, to William's amusement.
Afterwards they bought him a bag of nuts from a street stall and he talked all the way home.
âI'm going to be a hunter when I grow up,' he enthused. âI'm going to chase bears and lions and tigers.'
When they handed him over at the rectory, he was tired but reluctant to see them go.
âMaybe Rose and William would like to bring their children on the church outing to Ravensworth?' Edward Liddell suggested, appearing in the hallway. âRepay you for your kindness,' he smiled.
Rose was as excited by the idea as Alexander. But William was wary. âIt wouldn't be right - us not being from your church.'
âYou're in our parish,' the rector said amiably.
âPlease, please!' chanted Alexander. Rose looked at her husband in expectation. She would love to revisit the place where her grandmother had lived, that dreamworld she had treasured from early childhood memory.
âIt would be canny for the bairns,' she added.
âAgreed then?' Edward questioned.
âAye, agreed,' William smiled bashfully.
Chapter 9
In the end, William did not go on the outing to Ravensworth. He made excuses about having jobs to do at St Bede's, but he stood up to his mother's objections to Rose and the babies going.
âIt's a chance for them to get out in the fresh air - see a bit of the country,' he reasoned. âIt'll do them good.'
On the Saturday, Rose clambered into the horse-drawn brake, a girl on each knee, and settled back to enjoy the journey. She was so entranced by what she saw that she was not bothered about the bumping and lurching of the carriage along the turnpike roads. They turned their backs on the smoky, gas-smelling air of Jarrow and its blackened streets and headed into open countryside. Rose marvelled at the lush green of fields and trees, and the abundance of buttercups and daisies in the meadows. Wild blue and yellow irises sprouted out of ditches, while the hedgerows were overrun with wild briars, their small star-like roses wafting up heady scent as they passed. The distant moors were a haze of purple and white clover, and crowning them all were the forests of the Ravensworth estate. Rose was glad of Jane's company, for the young maid was in high spirits and helped entertain Margaret on the journey.
When they reached the village of Lamesley, Rose cried, âThere's the church! I remember watching the wedding sat on that wall. It doesn't look half as high now,' she laughed.
She saw again in her mind's eye the procession of carriages and the wedding party in their grand dresses and uniforms, and felt once more the excitement of that far-off golden day. She never thought to see the place again, yet here she was with her small daughters, about to drive up the magical road that snaked into the trees from where the wedding party had emerged. It was every bit as beautiful as she remembered. Rose hugged Elizabeth to her in anticipation as at last, they turned up the steep hill that led deep into the woods.
They entered a dark tunnel of overhanging branches and the children went suddenly quiet, overawed by their surroundings. All except Alexander who shouted, âThis is my castle! I'm a knight and I'm going to chop off all your heads!' Christina Liddell hushed him and tried to sit him on her knee, but he struggled from her hold and flung his arms around Uncle Edward.
âLook, Alexander,' he coaxed, âsee who can spot the first tower.'
They drew up sharply under a vast archway and called for the gatekeeper. He emerged from the lodge and pulled back the heavy gates to let them through. As they trundled up the drive, straining for a sight of the castle, Rose was struck by the resinous smell of newly cut logs.
Suddenly it loomed ahead out of the dense trees -a vast array of gleaming towers and golden walls caught in the sunshine. Myriad windows winked in welcome. The passengers gasped and the children shrieked in delight at the enchanted castle. Before it lay soft green lawns and flowerbeds bursting with colour. The visitors passed under a huge archway with a clock tower and into a warm open courtyard lined with stables and outhouses, where they all piled out. The children had to be restrained from disappearing in all directions at once, eager to explore. Edward took Alexander by the hand.
âFollow us,' he smiled broadly. âWe know where the food is! We'll take it out on to the lawns.'
Jane swept up Margaret, and Rose hurried behind with Elizabeth.
âLet me.' Mrs Liddell appeared at her side and reached out for the baby. âYou shouldn't be carrying her in your condition.'
Rose said, âI'm used to it.'
âI know, but today we're going to spoil you,' Mrs Liddell answered, taking the baby in her arms. The two women exchanged smiles.
As they walked around the high walls, Rose mused, âMe granny used to work here in the kitchens - she was full of stories about the place. But I never thought I'd see it meself.'
âWell, what's the use of the rector having grand relations if he can't put them to good use?' Mrs Liddell whispered conspiratorially.
âIt's like stepping into Heaven,' Rose enthused, as they followed the others down a pathway towards a lake. Fish jumped in the clear water and butterflies fluttered out of the long grass in front of them.
âIt's a good break for all of us,' the rector's wife sighed in contentment, watching her husband up ahead, directing some of the children to help lay out the picnic.
Rose was filled with a strange sense of belonging. Here her ancestors had lived and worked for generations, courted, married and died. Had fate taken a different turn she might have been living here too, just like her grandmother. What pleasure it would give her to see her own daughters growing up away from the dangers of the town, breathing this clear air.
But had she grown up in Lamesley she would never have met her beloved William, Rose reminded herself. Jarrow, with all its teeming, noisy, precarious life, was what gave William a living. Jarrow was her lot. Perhaps one of her daughters would return to Ravensworth one day and live out her dream, Rose mused, stroking Elizabeth's soft cheek. If not her, then one of her family.
Rose said impulsively, âI wish me sister Lizzie could work somewhere like this.'
âIs she not happy in South Shields?' Mrs Liddell asked.
How typical, Rose thought, that she should instantly remember where her sister was in service, though she had never even met her.
âShe doesn't complain,' Rose confided, âbut the Flynns are moving back to Ireland and soon she'll be out of a job. Do you think . . . could you ... ? I know I shouldn't really ask.'
âI don't have as much influence here as you might think,' Mrs Liddell replied gently, âbut I'll see if I can put in a word for your Lizzie. It might help that her grandmother once worked here.'
âTa very much, Mrs Liddell.' Rose beamed in gratitude.
The day passed swiftly in the sheltered grounds of Ravensworth, with the rector organising races among the children and taking trips out on the lake in a rowing boat. Young people strolled under the canopy of beech and sycamore trees and mothers lay dozing in the shade. Before leaving, they were all served tea in the servants' hall, a couple of hymns were sung, and then they reluctantly piled back into the open brake.
Alexander ran away and they spent ten minutes hunting for him. Rose and Edward found the boy in one of the stables, sitting high up on Lord Ravensworth's grandest carriage.
âI'm a better coachman than my father,' he declared. âI drive for Queen Victoria.'
âOf course you do,' Edward smiled, hiding his anxiety at the boy's disappearance. âNow it's time for you to drive us home to Jarrow.'
âJarrow's not my home,' he shouted petulantly. âIt's dirty and smelly and there's no one to play with. I want to stay here.'
âWe all want to stay here,' Rose laughed, âbut none of us belong.'
âI do,' Alexander grew tearful. âWhy can't I stay here? And why didn't William come? He said he would come. He's spoilt everything! I hate you all!'
âYou mustn't speak to Mrs Fawcett like that,' Edward said, growing impatient. âCome, come, everyone's waiting for you.' He stretched up and took his young cousin firmly in his arms. Alexander struggled for a moment, then allowed himself to be carried outside. By the time they had reached the gateway through the woods, he was asleep in Edward's lap.
Rose looked back at the lengthening shadows and the turrets retreating behind their fortress of trees, and sighed. It had been a perfect day and she wished William had been there to share it too. Next year, she would make sure he came on the outing. Her cheeks glowed from the warmth of the sun, and Elizabeth and Margaret slept contentedly after the unaccustomed fresh air.
Dusk was descending on Tyneside and a stiff breeze blew off the river by the time they rattled down into Jarrow. The countryside withered as it neared the town and the familiar smell from the chemical works was more overpowering than ever. The infants woke, stiff and fractious, and began to cry.
William was there to meet them and took the girls swiftly from Rose. With cries of thanks to the Liddells they trouped back to James Terrace. Rose felt suddenly overwhelmed with dissatisfaction for the house she had to call home. Here she was hemmed in, not only by the tightly packed cobbled streets, but by the strictures of her mother-in-law. She had tasted freedom today and it had left her hungry for more.
That night in bed, William kissed her and said, âYou still smell of the countryside - hay and wild flowers.' He buried his head in her long dark hair.
âIt was a glimpse of Heaven,' she murmured, her body feeling pleasantly tired, not with the exhaustion of heavy housework, but from hours in the sun and fresh air. She stroked his face. âI want us to have our own place,' she urged. âSomewhere I can grow a few flowers, where the bairns can play without fear of them being trampled on by the coal carts.'
William kissed her. âWe'll look for somewhere soon.'
Rose pulled away in frustration. âThat's what you always say!' she accused. âI want us to start looking now, William. By Christmas we'll have another bairn - I want it born in our own home. I'm sick of waiting.'
He looked at her in dismay. âWhat's brought all this on?'
Rose looked at him keenly. âToday I've seen beyond Jarrow. I'd forgotten what life was like outside these few streets - but it all came back to me. Trees - proper trees thick with leaves - and grass you could get lost in. Just how I remembered the country from when I was a bairn. I want our lasses to know what that's like. I want them to have a bit of Heaven, however small.'
William stared at her. She waited for him to ridicule the idea as being quite impractical, to remonstrate with her for having gone on the outing and come back so dissatisfied with her lot. He was forever telling her they should be grateful for what they had compared to the majority of working-class families in the town.
But he did not rebuke her. âWhere do you want to live?' he asked quietly.
Rose continued eagerly, âSomewhere up Simonside, above the town. Maybes with a little plot of land like me da's where I can grow things.'
William nodded. âWe'll see.'
Rose was not content with this. She gripped his arm. âPromise me, William! Promise me we'll be out of here before the bairn's born?' She searched his face for the telltale signs of weakness, the way his look would slip from hers, the apologetic shrug that came when he gave in to his mother rather than her. But he held her look with his keen blue eyes.
âIf it means that much to you,' he said gravely, âaye, I promise.'