The Keys to Jericho (28 page)

“Was that her name? She was a pretty brunette.” Amie was okay-looking.

However, Kat
has always been a pretty brunette. Only now, with purple streaks.

Shit… I go for a limited version of the truth. “She wasn’t my girlfriend.” That’s the most I’ll tell her. Kat doesn’t need to know Amie was a setup.

“She wasn’t?”

She sounds upset, piquing my curiosity, so I look at her and shake my head. “No. Just friends.”

Kat rapidly asks, “Then why did you give her your jersey?”

I pretend to swat at a fly, unable to look at her when I go for the lie. “She asked me if she could wear it, so I gave it to her.” 

Above the sound of the water whooshing beneath the boat as we—mostly me—pedal, I hear Kat swallow. I don’t even know what to say to her because I have no idea what she thinks of that piece of information, but I’m positive it doesn’t matter to her as much as it did to me back then.

And still fucking does.

It hurts, yet it’s not supposed to bother a heartless bastard.

“You asked me to wear your jersey, but you never gave it to me. Why?” What’s with the questioning today? Goddamn.

I shrug, studying my hands again. “I don’t know. I didn’t think you were serious about wanting to wear it.”

She skeptically laughs, which makes me glance up to her face. “How could you think that?
I
was the one who thought you weren’t serious about wanting
me
to wear it.”

“Really?” She can’t be serious.

“Yeah. I wanted to wear it. I was so excited that you had asked me.” What?

I’m genuinely astonished. “You didn’t seem that excited when I asked you.”

“I was shocked that you asked me when there were so many other girls to ask.”

“I didn’t ask them, though.”

“So, why did you ask
me
?” Why? Because I liked Kat, but I need to watch how I answer her.

Grinning, I retort, “That’s classified.”

“Jared, I need to know.”

“And you’re
not
on a need-to-know basis.”

“Why aren’t you telling me the reason?”

I sigh and look skyward. “I didn’t have a specific reason, Kat. I just wanted you to. I guess maybe I wanted one of my friends to wear my jersey.”

“Then why didn’t you ask Dash?” I raise an eyebrow at her and she says, “See. I call bullshit.”

“Bullshit for what?”

“You must’ve had a pocket full of girlfriends.”

“Well, if I did, they certainly weren’t doing their job because I would’ve had a smile all damn day.”

“You know what I mean.” She laughs and I realize we’re not pedaling anymore.

“No. I didn’t have many girlfriends in high school. I didn’t stay with any of them long anyway.”

“Why?”

“Got bored.” I sigh and wish we could talk about something else.

“Oh. And here I am exciting you beyond belief with explaining parts of a car and rules of the road. You must be stoked.”

I look at her, widening my eyes. “I
am
stoked.” True.

“You’re a good liar.”

“Not lying, either.” When she doesn’t respond with a smartass remark or facial expression, I touch her arm, and she faintly moves it against my fingers before I drop my hand. The small touch has a big impact on my ability to speak, but I manage to ask, “What’s wrong?”

Kat shrugs, but I know something is eating at her. “I’m sort of shocked. I thought you and that girl were dating, but you weren’t.”

“Why’s it matter?”
Kit Kat, please tell me that you wanted me as much as I wanted you.

“It matters because I assumed something that was wrong all these years. I feel stupid now.”
You’re not the only one who made assumptions.

“I didn’t know it was a big deal to you.”
Say it is.

“I thought that since we were friends, I would’ve known.”

“I guess you didn’t. You didn’t know my middle name until today.”

Kat ruefully smiles and looks at her watch. “Our hour is up. We’d better take this back in.”

“Are you mad at me?”

She can’t even look at me when she answers, “Why would I be mad at you?”

“You tell me, because at the moment, it seems like you want to push me into the creek. Again.”

“I’m still considering it.” She laughs, but it’s not a real laugh.

We pedal in silence, and when we’re almost to the dock, Kat says, “Jared, I think we need each other. I want us to be close.” Holy hell.

I lick my lips and quietly clear my throat, hoping my voice doesn’t crack. “Close? How?” Fuck-me close? Because I
really
need that.

“We need to be able to tell each other anything. To talk to each other without secrets. Do you think you’re up for that?”
I’m up for a lot of things with you.

I don’t know if I should tell her things I think she’ll want to hear, or things that I think
I
want to hear.

Kat says, “I know you have Dash and Rio, but if there are ever things that you can’t talk to them about, then I hope you can talk to me.” Did she and my dad have a fucking conference this morning?

I sigh and stare at the boat. “Kit Kat, I… I’ll…”

“Forget it. I’m sounding crazy.”

I frown, mostly at myself for needing to keep things from her, but it’s a necessity if I want to protect myself. “No, you’re not. I don’t know if I’ll be any good at telling you something worth listening to.” She shakes her head and goes to respond, but changes her mind with a desolate frown that does things to me.

I blurt out, “But, I’ll make an effort.” Fuck me. I wonder how she’s able to push my buttons and twist my mind so easily.

Like a damn robot.

Looking up, she grins. “That’s all I ask. Since we
are
spending so much time together for now, I want our friendship to be better than it obviously was in high school.”

“Yeah. I get it. Me, too.” Another truth I didn’t mean for her to hear. I give up.

As we dock, I swiftly hoist myself up on the pier, secure the boat to the dock, and then offer my hand to Kat. The feel of her hand in mine is still tremendous and I don’t want to let go, but if I don’t, she’ll see through the fissures in my resolve to keep a careful distance. My dad did make sense about me leaving. Kind of. Damn him.

When I pull Kat up on the dock next to me, she squeezes my hand and smiles at me. I respond with a quick smile and before I blurt out something else or get a fucking hard-on, I let go of her hand. Her smile abruptly becomes reserved and she looks down. As I untie my vest, I ask, “What?”

She shakes her head, but I hear her sigh as she works on her jacket. I don’t push her for more answers because that only gives me more questions I don’t want to ask or hear the answers to.

After turning in our vests, she asks, “Hungry?”

I nod and she wraps both arms around my arm, leading me on the path back to the parking lot.

Damn it. I’m so conflicted. I want her to touch me and I want to touch her, but it’s not a good thing to do. All I keep thinking about is taking Kat to the car right now and screwing her in the backseat. I need to fuck her. It’s that simple, but then again, it isn’t. I don’t know how to go about it, while keeping things from getting weird after we do, or keep me from wanting more. I don’t want her to think I’m using her. It wouldn’t be like that. Christ.

We grab the basket from the car and proceed to walk to the nearest picnic area; however, on our way, Kat pulls me off the trail to cross the white-railed footbridge to a large gazebo. “What are we doing?”

“I thought we could sit on the grass here.” Still holding onto my arm, Kat tows me over the bridge to a patch of grass near the gazebo. She takes the basket from me, unpacks a light blue blanket and hands it to me.

“What’s this for?”

She nods behind her with a slight smile. “So you can sleep on the gazebo steps. Use it as a pillow.”

“I guess it was a dumb question,” I mutter as I open up the blanket and spread it onto the grass. Kat takes her phone out of her pocket and gently tosses it onto the edge of the blanket and we sit down.

Pulling sandwiches out of the basket, she asks, “PB & J?” 

“My. Fucking. Favorite.”

“Are you serious?”

I grin. “I am.”

“It’s mine, too!” She giggles and hands me a bottle of water, saying, “I wish I had an ink pen so I can get your autograph. I keep forgetting.”

I stop mid-bite. “Huh?”

“For your karaoke. I can’t get the image of you crawling on the stage, singing like you were going to rip Dash’s head off.”

I laugh. “Oh. That. Good times. There might be one in the car. What do you want me to sign?”

“Whatever you want.”

“Hmm.” I’d better not go there.

“I’ll find something for you to sign.”

I stuff the rest of my sandwich into my mouth to keep me from making suggestions.

Kat twists to reach into the basket. “I brought potato chips, too.” She opens the bag and puts it in between us. “I love being here.”

I grab a handful of chips. “I’ve never been to this part.”

“Never?”

“No. Why would I want to come to a damn gazebo?”

She laughs as her purple and brown hair shakes with her head. “It’s so peaceful and pretty.”

I tease, “Words that are foreign to me.”

Laughing, she looks up at the sky and then shifts to lie on her back.

Swallowing my last mouthful of chips, I ask, “What are you doing?” 

“Watching the clouds. You should try it. It’s relaxing.” I can’t relax when I’m with Kat.

Moving the bag of chips, I lie next to her. As I move to fold my hands behind my head like she is, I accidentally elbow her arm. “Sorry.” I laugh, and she elbows me back, but leaves her arm against mine.

And I keep my arm there, feeling the thrum of…whatever it is…building inside me. Shit. That’s not good, either.

“I doubt it.”

Looking up at the sky and then to her, I whisper, “What are we looking for, exactly?” I try to stay concentrated on her answer, but I can’t stop staring at the side of her face, her lips, her eyelashes, or her nose. She’s so…beautiful.

Christ. I’m fucking losing it.

“Shapes.”

I blink as I register her answer, and then peer up to the sky. “Um, I see a cloud shape. What do I win?”

“An eye roll and one less friend on Facebook.”

“Well, I’m not on Facebook, so I guess I lucked out on that one.”

“You don’t post a bunch of needless pictures or mundane statuses?”

“I leave that all to Dash to do for me, whether I like it or not. He may have opened an account in my name. I wouldn’t put that shit past him.”

“I see a horse!”

I pivot my head to look around us. “Here?”

She laughs and kicks my foot with hers. “In the clouds, Jericho. Look over there. A heart!”

“I see nothing.”

“Aww. I think it has my name on it.”

“That’s some cloud talent.”

I cross my legs at my ankles as she says, “You know, we probably should have each other’s phone numbers, in case we need to change driving times.” Her phone number. I still remember the anxiety about having it, but not using it.

Scratching my jaw, I mumble, “Yeah. You’re right.”

“But, if I give you my number, will you call me this time?” Shit. How can I be fucked so many times in one day without even having sex?

I uneasily yank on my bill, hiding my eyes more. “Uh…” Fuck.

Kat looks over at me, but I keep my gaze upward. Mostly. “No excuses?”

“We were going through a trial period of becoming Amish?”

“Jared.”

I blow a sigh above me. “To tell you the truth, I was…” Still unable to face her, I quietly admit, “Nervous.” Shit. I’m an idiot.

“You were?”

I nod, but don’t offer anything more. Jesus Christ. I’m a loser and she’s finally going to figure it out.

“You really did want to ask me out then?”

Again, I nod heavenward, yet don’t look at her, appalled that I have no control whatsoever of what I’m revealing to her.

Hearing Kat giggle, I automatically turn my head to see why. “What?”

“Nothing.”

“I thought you said no hiding anything.”

“I’m not. Jericho, where’s my phone?”

I angle my head left and right, seeing it on the blanket to the right of me. “It’s over here.”

“Can you give it to me, please?”

I settle my head back onto my hands. “Nope.”

I hear the pout in her voice. “Why not?”

“Not until you tell me what you’re laughing about.”