The Keys to Jericho (31 page)

He scowls. “God, Jared. Grow up. Do you know that you’re all Kat talked about on the way here?” I roll my eyes and he says, “You bastard, she thinks you hung the fucking moon. Too bad you just brought it crashing down on top of her.”

I don’t have anything to say to that, and Rio adds, “You may have just lost your driving student, as well as a great friend. Don’t worry about it, though. Dash and I will help her get her license.” I can’t help her now. Not after this. Was last night a fucking attempt at a joke at my expense, too? To see what I would say when she turned me down?

I sneer, “Such
great
friends you are.”

He nods. “Yeah. We are. Why don’t
you
be the same?”

“If I’m such a shitty friend, why do you keep coming around?”

“Don’t make me ask myself that question, Jare.” He runs his hand over his stubbled jaw and sighs. “You’re a good person. You just need to work on being a better friend. Don’t take it for granted that you’ll always have us if you keep acting like this.”

I grimly laugh with a clamp to my teeth. “If you’re putting conditions on our friendship, then you can all go straight to Hell.”

Rio calmly studies me before saying, “Jared. I consider you my family. You need Dash and I just as much as we need you, but you’ve got to be more user-friendly. Talk to us. Trust us. Hold up your end of the friendship. That goes for your friendship with Kat, too.” He frowns as his blue eyes go skyward. “If it still exists.”

Not knowing how to respond, I roughly inhale as I grind my teeth. Rio shoves his hands into his jeans pockets and nods to the side of the house. “Go talk to her before I take her home.”

Heaving the weighty breath I took, I contemplate that as he waits for me to go. If Rio leaves, he’s taking Kat with him. I don’t see him much anymore, and driving all of that way back would be senseless.

And Kat… I don’t know what to think of her reasoning for being here, because I don’t understand why I now want her to stay. I give up. Every time she’s around, my logic vacates my brain, becoming an abandoned building, and my mouth starts its engine, rivaling Dash’s. I’m a goddamned pussy.

Likewise, I can’t be left here alone with Calder, because I won’t be responsible if he can’t keep
his
never-ending mouth shut.

As my anger begins to settle, which Rio is usually good at subduing, unlike Dash, I grasp that the fucker is probably sincere, and he’s usually more logical than I am, apart from the Liberty shitstorm. Nevertheless, this time, he and Dash were moronic, deluded bastards with nothing better to do than to drive me fucking crazy.

Frowning petulantly to myself, I yank on my cap and leave the backyard. When I round the front, Dash and Kat aren’t on the porch, sitting in Dash’s car, or in Rio’s truck. Doubting she went into the house since she wants to avoid me, I look up and down the narrow dead-end drive for them, but still see nothing. There’s only one place left she could’ve ran off to, so I cross over and go to the public beach access that is diagonal to the house. When I reach the sand, the beach is a sea in its own right with people, umbrellas, and towels sailing it, but I immediately see Kat’s red tank top, and her holding onto Dash near the water with her head buried in his chest. Even though Kat doesn’t want to have sex with me, and I don’t want an official relationship with her, I suddenly want to drown my best friend for touching her like that.

I irritably rip my shoes and then my socks off, stuffing them into my shoes. Carrying them, I trudge through the sand, toward the blinding afternoon gleam coming off the noisy, undulating water. Dash sees me from over Kat’s head and frowns, not releasing her. I know I should take this moment to appreciate his loyalty to his friends, too, but seeing her in his arms incites me to want to do many violent things to him.

When I reach them, he says, “If you’re here for another round, forget it. I’ll take
you
home and she can stay.”

Ignoring him, I say to the back of her head, “Kat, you don’t have to go, but I’ll leave if you want me to.”

She looks up from Dash’s chest and says, “I shouldn’t have come. I didn’t mean to ruin your trip.”

Dash says, “You were invited. It’s my dad’s house. You’re welcome here anytime.” He shoots me a look, and I ruefully sulk.

Kat sniffs as Dash rubs her shoulder, irking me more. “I don’t want you to leave when it’s supposed to be your vacation, Jared.”

I mutter, “It’s not just
my
vacation.”

Dash tilts his head to look at her face. “So, if Jared can be an adult, will you stay?” He then glares at me, and I can’t even argue with him. I’ve never seen Dash so mad at me before. He asks me, “Right?”

I nod at him and then glance at Kat. She doesn’t reply right away, but eventually says, “Okay. Just give me some time here.”

Dash lets go of her and bends to shove his feet into his shoes he had in his hand. Avoiding me, Kat turns and walks to the wet sand. As I watch her, Dash says, “You know, I should set
you
on fire and throw
you
into the ocean.”

Because I have no words, I again can only nod, summarily looking at him before watching Kat standing along the tide’s reach.

Dash folds his arms over his chest as we scrutinize her. “I hope you realize you broke her heart because she thinks you hate her.”

“Dash…” I sigh and anxiously pull on my bill as I continue to observe her.

He says, “I’ll give her some time, but I’ll be back to check on her. Don’t make her cry again or you’re going deep-sea diving without a tank.” I’m quickly growing irritated with his gung-ho attitude.

I evenly reply, “I won’t.”

“You need to apologize.”

Losing my patience, I snap, “Will you fucking let me handle it now?”

He yells back, “You did and we all saw how that went!”

I lick my salty lips and shake my head. “Just go. I’ll talk to her.”

We glare at each other before he concedes, “Okay.” Giving Kat one last glance, he leaves and I slowly walk to where she’s standing, trying to come up with something to say.

Stopping next to her, she doesn’t acknowledge me as she watches the waves crashing in front of us. Kids splash nearby, and shouting and laughing around us accompany the tide.

I want to hold Kat like Dash did, but if I value my testicles, I’ll stow that thought.

Every second that nothing is said, I feel 10 times worse about my tantrum, but I don’t know how to erase what I said. I want it back to where we were. Almost. I’m determined to make things better between us than they were before. I owe her
and
our friendship that.

Seeing something in the backwash, hoping I don’t lose my shoes in the water, I step in front of her to pick it up. Holding the dried and broken starfish, I ask, “You know that starfish regrow their limbs? When they’re alive, I mean.”

Kat looks at it. “Yeah. I’ve heard of that.” Reaching over, her hand brushes mine and my body instantly buzzes as she cautiously runs her thumb over the star’s spiny ridges. “Did you also know a starfish is a symbol of renewal, healing, and longevity—losing a part of yourself, only to come back new and improved, stronger than before?”

I stare at her face, captivated by her mouth and the sweet voice coming out of it, remembering the feeling of her lips on mine. I distractedly say, “No, I didn’t.”

Dropping her hand, she nods with a sigh. “I need to be a damn starfish.”

“Kat, back there… I didn’t—”

She cuts me off with a shake of her head. “I’m sorry for surprising you. Rio got my number from Dash and texted me. He said he wanted to surprise you by inviting me here. After last night, I shouldn’t have done this, but I…” She bites her lip and looks to the water. “Please, don’t hate me.”

I promptly utter, “I
don’t
hate you.”

“You have so many reasons to be mad at me.”

I sadly look to the starfish in my hand. “Not…mad.”

“Why do I feel like you’re not saying what you want to say?”

I shrug as my finger traces the star shape. “Because I don’t
know
what I want to say.”

When she doesn’t say more, I look up. Frowning, Kat squints at the water. “We should get out of the sun without wearing sunscreen or we’ll be fucking lobsters the entire weekend.”

She pivots in the wet sand and walks over to her shoes. I follow, but keep a cautious distance from her. I regret the way I acted, but I’m still hurt from last night. That’s not going to disappear, but I committed to helping her get a driver’s license. I want to see it through.

We say nothing on our way to the house. Once there, I grab her bags and lead her upstairs. There are four bedrooms, so I take her to the spare one, which is next to Duquesne’s room and around the corner from both Calder’s and mine.

Kat looks around her yellow and floral room as she walks to the window. Too chipper for the three of us—even Dash—so it’s hardly ever used. Dash’s second stepmother had decorated most of the house and when she and Dave got divorced, he left it as-is, which is better than what he probably would do, most likely gluing playing cards and poker chips to the wall, have slot machines in every room, and a roulette wheel in the living room.

Setting her brown suitcase on the bench at the end of the bed, I clear my throat. “The bathroom is across from Dash’s room, around the corner, but he also has one in his room if you need it. We all use it, even if he’s in the shower, so if you want to hear him squeal like a girl, make sure you flush the toilet when he’s in there. There’s also a bathroom with a shower downstairs, between the living room and kitchen.”

She nods at the window, her purple and brown ponytail bobbing. “Okay. Thank you.”

Feeling awkward and having a weird sense of
been-there-done-that
, as Hadley calls it, I say, “I’ll probably get the bonfire going soon, since I’m the designated fire starter.” I realize my comment is insensitive and I cringe. “Um, Dash brought hot dogs and marshmallows. We can make s’mores, too.”

“Sounds fun,” she indifferently answers, which makes me think she’s not telling me what
she
wants to say now.

Rubbing my eyelids, I sigh. “Okay. I’ll be outside if you need me.”

I grasp the edge of the door as she shrugs and makes no move to turn around. “I’ll be fine. If I need something, I’ll ask Dash or Rio.”

“Kat, I’m here, too.”

“I know you are, Jared.” She finally turns from the window, only to dig into her purse, pulling out her phone. “I need to call my mom and tell her I’m here.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, come outside when you’re done. We’ll all be out there.”

She nods at her phone, but doesn’t agree, refuse, or say
fuck you
.

I reluctantly back out of the room and when I close the door, I hear her sniffing and gasps. Fuck. I want to go in there and… Shit. I don’t know. I didn’t even know what to do the last time she cried.

I mouth to the door, “Please forgive me, Kit Kat.” I lean my forehead against it, listening to her quiet sobs, feeling like the beast I’ve been told I’ve become.

When her crying finally stops, I quietly step away from the door, go downstairs, grab the lighter I keep in a drawer here, and go out to the yard, where Rio and Dash intently watch my every step. Seeing the plastic bag containing the lighter fluid, a newspaper, and matches, I pick it up from the table where they’re sitting, and Dash asks, “Is she still at the beach?”

I shake my head and Rio asks, “Does she want to leave?”

I again shake my head and carry the bag down to the gigantic pit, the size being my idea that everyone agreed to. Walking around it, I notice one of the jackasses had thrown logs in haphazardly. There’s an art to starting a fire, and this isn’t it.

I set the bag down and remove all the logs, replacing them with crumpled newspaper, and dried twigs. I open the lighter fluid and squeeze it over the small pile and taking the lighter out of my pocket, I ignite the newspaper and wait for the fire to take hold. I then pick up the two largest logs that have no business being in the pit and set them upright near the fire, to use as seats, tables, or to be split later.

Dash brings over the plastic chairs, also setting them around the fire. I keep looking at the door to the deck, hoping I see Kat come through it, or looking up to her window, but I don’t see anything.

Over the period of a few hours, Dash disappears twice, longer than the time it takes to piss, so I assume he’s talking to Kat, which dejects me even more. My reaction to her being here was uncalled for, at best, but it was a reflex to being played and looking like an idiot, and then setting off the bottled-up feelings of rejection left over from last night. I didn’t intend to say things to hurt Kat, but I couldn’t stop them once I started.

I avoid asking Dash how she is doing because I don’t need more lectures or reminders of what an asshole I was to her. I also use the downstairs bathroom, circumventing the staircase altogether. Rio hasn’t said much to me, either, so it’s unusually quiet among the three of us. Between roasting something over the fire or me getting up to add kindling, I stare at the fire, while they both stay busy texting, sporadically insulting each other and calling each other names, or surfing the Internet on their phones.