The Killing Times (An FBI Romance Thriller (book 1)) (40 page)

“Yeah, well he didn’t vest up that day, since he was convinced the assignment was a breeze. Here we were sitting in the car, snapping pictures and out of the blue he kissed me like some lunatic. I kept telling him to back off. I was furious that he’d touch me after I made it perfectly clear that we were done. I was off limits, and you know how I feel about mixing work and pleasure.”

“If he were alive I’d kick the shit out of him,” he muttered, kissing
the top of her head. He meant it, the man would be hurting. 

Elizabeth traced her fingers up and down his leg, believing he absolutely would. “
Anyway he starts a wicked fight, and it draws my focus, and we both stopped looking at the money launderers. I took my eyes off the mob men, and put my attention on my personal mess. Maybe they saw or heard us, but something tipped them off.”

Blac
khawk knew what was coming next, only because he read the ‘
official
’ report.

“I see out of the corner of my eye a flash, like chrome in the street light. Then I hear the popping. It
’s the worst sound in the world. Something in you knows instinctively what it is, but you know you can’t escape it. They just kept shooting, as they drove by so slow. The glass on my side shattered, and I threw myself over Ray. I knew I had the only vest and that was our only shot at surviving.”

He watched her take a breath, his heart
shuttered at the idea she used her body as a human shield for a man who screwed her over.

“One round went into my shoulder, just outside the
Kevlar, and then the vest took five more at close range. Luckily for me they didn’t penetrate or I’d be dead. Then one round skimmed off the vest,” she pointed to her shoulder to show him where.

He suddenly wanted to
thank someone for that alone.

“Ray took one in the neck,” Elizabeth swallowed. “I
t went clear through, tearing a hole in his throat. That was the only shot that hit him. My Kevlar saved us both, and I knew if I could just get the blood to stop spraying everywhere I might be able to save him.” 

When she stopped, he wasn’t
sure she was going to continue and that was fine. She told him enough and the rest he could figure out on his own.

“The entire car smelled like copper pennies.
I went from covering his body to protect him, to being completely covered in his blood,” she had to pause and breathe, or she was going to be sick.

“I have you, Lyzee,” he wished he never asked her to relive it. This had to be traumatizing to her and she didn’t need this tonight.

Tomorrow was going to be hell enough
for her.

“
Instinct kicked in and I just knew I needed more pressure on his neck. I pulled him down to his back and sat on his body to place enough pressure on his throat. My one arm was completely dead and useless, so I had to use my free hand to try and stop the bleeding.”

Blackhawk rubbed his hand up and down her arm to offer her some warmth. He couldn’t imagine how she felt in that moment.

“Ethan, I was so afraid I’d choke him, but I had to keep my hand over the wound. All I wanted to do was stop the spray, but the blood was bubbling out between my fingers.”

“It’s okay
, baby.”

“Someone on the street must have called 911 for me, because I don’t remember doing it myself. How could I? If I let go of his neck he was dead,” she started to shake. “
Here was this man, my partner, and I was pissed at him and yet I couldn’t help but remember that just days before I looked down at him in bed, and he was alive, living.”

“
Elizabeth, don’t do this. Please stop.”

“No, Ethan. If I’m going to tell you that I love you, sleep with you
, and try to build anything that matters, I can’t hide this anymore,” she continued, “The ambulance took forever, or what seemed like forever. The seconds were like hours, and in the end, he bled out all over me and the car. I just keep thinking, what I could have done differently. Maybe if I dialed for help, telling them we were agents they would have come sooner. Had I thought faster, or held his neck differently or …” she let it go, before it consumed her again and the guilt sucked her back down again.

“You tried to save him,
and that’s what counts.” Blackhawk believed she was the bravest woman he’d ever met.

“I was heartbroken. N
ot because of anything I did before that moment, but because I couldn’t save him. I sat on him, promising I would, and I didn’t. He just kept saying sorry, over and over again, and don’t let him die. I told him it was okay, and that I’d stay with him until help arrived, and he wasn’t going to die. I lied and knew it.”

He kissed her and noticed her eyes were no longer dry.

“Somehow Gabe got the call. When he showed up, they got me out of there. I had surgery on my shoulder that night. They fixed me up physically, but emotionally I was broken.” Elizabeth rolled her shoulder, as if remembering. “The day of the funeral, I made Gabe spring me from the hospital. I needed to say goodbye and tell Ray I was sorry.”

“You had nothing to be sorry about,” he hugged her. “Gabe
willingly got you out?” he asked, surprised.

“Hell no!
I threatened to hitchhike or steal an ambulance.”

Blackhawk laughed and stroked her cheek. “Of course you did, Lyzee.”

“So, I go to the fun
eral and try to blend in with all the other agents. Low and behold, I’m met by Ray’s wife. He neglected to tell me they were separated while they saw a therapist, and not divorcing. Then add in the little rumor mill he started by telling everyone we were sleeping together, and his wife was ready for me.”

“She slapped you?”

“Oh yeah, she got one hell of a shot in too. Then she proceeded dressed me down, as the woman that slept with her husband in front of pretty much all of Quantico with the exception of you.”

“I was a
way,” he said, lifting her chin. “I was finishing an assignment. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway if I saw it. I’d still be here today, right here, right now. I would have stepped in and defended you at the funeral too.”

She held his hand and squeezed it.
Ethan was an incredible man, and she was blessed to have met him.

“Gabe
came to my side and stepped between us, and he got me out of there. In the car my phone rang, and it was Tony. They had found my dad dead at his desk of a heart attack. I immediately went home, grabbed my clothes and left. Gabe drove me to the airport, and put me on a transport. Before I boarded, I handed him my gun and badge, and he knew I wasn’t ever coming back. I didn’t run because of what the FBI agents at that funeral thought. I ran because to this day, I still see Ray, in my dreams, dying in that car and I feel guilty. I don’t think I’m strong enough to keep reliving it daily.”

Blackhawk didn’t believe that at all. Elizabeth LaRue was very strong.
“So you only came back to bury your dad and now.”

“That’s about it. I only brought him
back north because my mom was here, or he’d be in Salem with me.”

“Why did you cover for Ray in the report? I’ve seen the official
one and it says nothing about what happened.”

She shrugged. “What would the truth have done at that point? Set me free? Him? I let it ride because the man paid the ultimate sacrifice, he died. The least I could do is let his wife have her memories of him. Then it wasn’t her fault her marriage failed
. It was mine. She lost the man she loved, and that had to be brutal to carry alone.”

Deep down
, Elizabeth wondered if she’d have to suffer when Blackhawk left her alone in Salem when it was all over. Would she have to mourn their relationship also?

“
What about you, Elizabeth.”

“So
metimes life just sucks. We all have demons we try to keep buried deep. I’ve managed to stay ahead of mine until now.” Elizabeth looked into his eyes. “That’s the bad thing about running from the past, Ethan. Eventually it catches up to you and you have no choice but to face it.”

Wasn’t that the truth?

Elizabeth was at peace as Blackhawk walked her home, holding her hand. When they were safely locked away behind the door of his brownstone, the clothes started coming off. They made wild, crazy love until early in the morning. She knew he was trying to heal her heart, and she let him try. The contact warmed her, giving her strength for what she knew was coming. It was how it always was with him.

With him she was completely safe
for the first time in a long time.

During their lovemaking she
gave as much as he did, kiss for kiss and touch for touch. When he collapsed spent beside her, there was only one thing to do. She joined him in sleep.

It just seemed right
and finally it was perfect. 

Tuesday Morning

Blackhawk woke up reaching for her and once more found her gone. At first his heart started pounding, but then he smelled bacon and coffee, and a smile slid across his face. Oh yeah, she was still there, Elizabeth was making them something to eat. After the exhumation, they may lose their appetites, and she was just trying to fuel them both up for a long day.

He pulled on his boxers, and
began searching through their strewn about clothing, looking for his t-shirt. When he couldn’t find it, he decided to skip it. He wanted her and coffee more. Besides, she liked the tattoos, and he liked how she responded to them.

When he stood in the doorway
of his kitchen, his breath was stolen from his body. The mystery of his t-shirt was solved, and it definitely looked better on her than him. She could have each one that he owned, if he could wake to this daily.

“Morning,” she said, watching him walk into the kitchen
with a smug grin on his face. “Did you sleep okay?”

He stretched and crossed to her. “I slept like a rock.” It was the trut
h too. When he went to bed beside her, there was peace. “I see you made me breakfast again,” he whispered in her ear.

Elizabeth was just trying to feel normal on an abnormal day. Ethan shirtless in his kitchen was a decent distraction.
“We needed to eat. I was going to wake you but you looked too adorable sleeping, so I got my ass out of bed. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that this seems to be a reoccurring theme with you.”

“Well, after breakfast I’ll clean up
, and then we can get our asses back into bed for a little while.” He took the coffee she held out to him and winked lecherously. Blackhawk wanted to see what was under his t-shirt in the worst way.

Elizabeth laughed.
“I wish, but we both know that just can’t happen. I can promise you and entire day in bed when this is all over, if you’re still interested.”

“Sold,” he said so fast he had them both laughing. He was refusing to give her the chance to take that option back off the table.
Part of him was confused. How could he not be interested?

“What time is Gabe coming for us?”
She placed his omelet in front of him, and took a seat to join him. When she crossed her legs, and her foot caressed his calf, he almost dropped his fork. Elizabeth shook her head grinning.

“He said around ten, but
he’s always early. He’s going to want to make sure you’re okay, then he’s going to want to control freak it to death. You know him.” If he ate fast, he might be able to get her back into bed with plenty of time to spare.

She laughed and nodded, “Yeah, he likes his agents on their toes
, and forgets he can’t boss me around anymore.”

They both sat and ate their omelets
, talking about anything that popped into their minds. Elizabeth tried to feel light and happy, but it was all an act. She knew what was coming, and she didn’t want to deal with it. The way Ethan was trying to distract her, it just proved she was failing miserably.

As they finished eating
, the doorbell rang.

“See? He’s really early.”

“I’ll do the dishes, since I can’t deactivate your alarm,” she grinned, kissing him before he could leave the kitchen. “I’m a prisoner here.”

“Seven, Seven, Zero, Seven
.” He kissed her again. “For the record, you're the only one that knows that but me,” he paused, stealing another kiss. “Only woman ever,” he added, taking one more, but only deeper this time.

At the
banging, he finally broke away. Now he was all stirred up from the lip lock and the idea of her being his prisoner. It had definite possibilities.

“Terrible timing,” he laughed, walking away from her and
towards the door.

Elizabeth heard t
he door slam open and angry shouting. It certainly wasn’t Gabe. As she listened to the vicious words, she realized it was his partner, and she sounded irate. When Ethan’s tone began escalating, she decided to step out of the kitchen and quickly intervene. She was just in time to see Lily slap him across the face. It was so forceful that it jerked his head to the side as it echoed down the hall.