The Language of Spells (12 page)

‘Paint your walls whatever you like. I can argue it for you.’ Cam was smiling in that capable way he had. The way that made Gwen want to jump him and push him over at the same time.

‘Nothing for Lily,’ Gwen said.

‘There are no instructions from Ms Harper, so we can’t action a withdrawal on her account. Legally, though, you’re on safe ground. There is nothing in writing, no contract of work.’

‘But she was helping Iris. Looking after her. She shouldn’t be out of pocket. That’s not right.’

Cam shook his head. ‘If you haven’t got the money, she’s going to have to wait. Also, I couldn’t find the title deeds for the property. I’m assuming you took them with you?’

‘No,’ Gwen said. She got up to fetch the papers she’d brought home from Laing & Sons. ‘I don’t think there was anything like that.’

Cam frowned. He held his hand out and she passed the stack of paper across. He flicked through quickly, then checked through the brown file that he’d brought. ‘That’s odd.’

‘Odd doesn’t sound good,’ Gwen said.

‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. Iris must’ve kept them in the house somewhere.’

Things went quiet. Gwen sipped her coffee. Cam took a mouthful of his own. His eyes closed as he swallowed and Gwen couldn’t stop herself from staring at the movement of his throat, the exposed stretch of skin.

He opened his eyes and caught her staring. ‘Good coffee,’ he said.

‘Thank you,’ she said. Gwen was very glad of the solid wooden table between them. A cavernous space opened in the pit of her stomach. She wanted. That was it. Being near to Cam made her want very badly.

‘I don’t want to worry you, but you ought to find the house deeds,’ Cam was saying, ‘and I’d recommend keeping them in a fire-proof safe or lodging them with a bank. They charge a small fee, but it’s worth it for the peace of mind.’

Gwen blinked. ‘Okay.’

At the door, Cam seemed about to say something, but then he hesitated. Finally he raised his hand in a half-salute and thanked her for the coffee.

‘Any time,’ Gwen said and then wanted to slap herself. If she was going to get any kind of control and equilibrium back, proximity to Cameron Laing was not the way forward.

I was shopping in town today and couldn’t stop myself from buying a cat bed. I knew as soon as I touched it, that Gwen was going to need it. I’m getting more and more flashes like that; it’s like nesting for a baby, I assume. It reminds me of the time after Annie died and I prepared for Gloria’s arrival. I’m glad I’ll be dead before she gets here. I couldn’t go through the disappointment of another Gloria. I’m too old for all that again.

Gwen was going through the bedrooms. She told herself that the past was the past and that she didn’t care, but still she found herself squinting at bare patches on the walls, the heavy oak furniture, the half-finished tube of toothpaste in the bathroom cabinet, looking for clues.

She stood in the doorway to the third bedroom. The window looked onto the garden and the fields beyond; a line of trees at the horizon stood out like charcoal scratchings against the pale sky. There was nothing in this room that said ‘teenage girl’, but Gwen would’ve laid money that it had been Gloria’s room back when she’d lived with Iris. She lay on the narrow bed and looked at the cracks in the ceiling, the low bookcase, the bedside cabinet.

She slid open the drawers in the chest underneath the window. The first three were empty, lined with faded wallpaper offcuts. The bottom drawer was stuck and Gwen sat on the floor to pull it out. Loose photographs and a stash of unopened seed packets.

She sifted through the pictures until she found one of Gloria. Standing in front of a tall woman who must’ve been Iris. Gloria wasn’t looking at the lens but to something out of the picture. Iris was staring so directly, Gwen felt she was looking right at her.

She rang Ruby. ‘There are photos of Gloria here. Do you want me to bring them over?’

‘No.’

‘Okay.’ Gwen was going to hang up, sibling duty done, when Ruby said, ‘Has Katie been by today?’

‘Nope. Not yet.’

‘She keeps asking questions I can’t answer. Like why you’ve been away for so long. Why you haven’t been here for Christmas and stuff.’

‘You can answer that. Just explain that you told me to stay away, that I wasn’t allowed—’

‘I can’t believe you’re still going on about that. I’ve said I was sorry.’

‘You didn’t actually, and it’s not about a crappy soft toy rabbit from a kid’s conjuring set. It’s that you don’t trust me. You’ve never trusted me.’

‘That’s because you don’t respect my feelings. My therapist says—’

‘You’ve got a therapist? Is that as well as the yogi, or are they the same lecherous guy?’

‘Marcus isn’t lecherous. That’s a horrible thing to say,’ Ruby snapped. ‘You’re so prejudiced.’

‘Oh yes, I’m the one with the closed mind. Absolutely. Uh-huh,’ Gwen said.

‘Well, you do have some very set ideas. And you’re unforgiving. I made one mistake and it was a really long time ago and you just won’t let it go.’

‘I’d find it a damn sight easier if anything had changed, but it hasn’t. You’d react in exactly the same way.’

‘I wouldn’t,’ Ruby said. ‘I was frightened and I was angry.’

‘What on earth did you have to be angry about? I was the one getting arrested.’

‘I just wish you’d tried harder to, you know, not use it. If you’d just left well alone, the police wouldn’t have questioned you.’

‘Arrested me. Suspected me of murder.’

‘Whatever,’ Ruby said. ‘Have you, though? Seriously. Have you ever really tried to be normal?’

‘But I knew where that boy was. I just knew. You think I shouldn’t have told the police? I mean, I didn’t know he was already dead and it didn’t matter anyway. You think I should’ve kept quiet even though there might’ve been a chance I could’ve saved him? And what about the closure for his family; did you even think about that?’

Gwen heard Ruby breathing. ‘Okay, maybe not for that one. But I just mean usually. In like … everyday life.’

‘It’s not a bloody switch, Ruby. I don’t get to choose. I’ve spent the last ten years trying really hard not to use it, to ignore every little sign, to pretend I don’t know things that I shouldn’t know, but it’s impossible and I’ve been miserable.’ As soon as Gwen said the words, she felt the truth of them. She’d been miserable. Really fucking miserable. ‘It’s like trying to wear shoes that are a size too tight. They pinch all the time and to begin with you think it’ll be fine and you’ll get used to it and the leather will give a little but, by the time you’ve walked around for an hour or two, every step is agony and all you can think about is ripping the bloody things off.’

‘Please don’t tell Katie,’ Ruby said in a rush.

‘I’ve already promised. I won’t talk about finding stuff or—’

‘No. I don’t mean that. I mean the way I’ve been. I’m not proud of it.’

‘That’s okay,’ Gwen said awkwardly.

‘She hates me enough already without her finding out that I’ve been a total bitch to her new favourite person.’

‘You’ve not been a total bitch,’ Gwen said, smiling. ‘You have to do me a favour in return, though. Come to the pub with me tonight.’

‘In Pendleford?’

‘I’m trying to settle in, meet people.’

‘Did you hit your head? That doesn’t sound like you.’

‘Very funny.’ Gwen tried to organise her thoughts. ‘I’m probably just going stir crazy. I need to get out of the house for a bit.’

‘You’re just hoping to bump into Cameron Laing.’ Ruby’s tone was teasing, but Gwen felt like she’d been slapped.

‘What?’ Ruby said. ‘What’s happened?’

‘Nothing.’

I used the Finding in front of him and he ran away and then I fed someone a de-hexing charm and he probably thinks I’m certifiable.’

‘Fine. I’ll come out. I’ll meet you there. But no weird stuff, okay?’

The Red Lion was just as cosy as Gwen remembered. A fire was blazing in the hearth and there was a comforting murmur of conversation. Bob the barman was on his own and it was busy on both sides, so she hoisted herself onto one of the high stools to wait for Ruby. A couple were debating the merits of getting two glasses of wine or a whole bottle. A stocky man slid into the narrow gap between Gwen’s stool and the couple. His tie was loose, the top button of his shirt undone and his face was red from either alcohol, excitement or from sitting too close to the fireplace. Gwen tucked her legs as close to the stool as she could, and fixed her gaze on the optics.

‘Excuse me?’

With some reluctance Gwen turned to the man.

‘I’m hoping you can settle a bet.’ A gust of lager breath accompanied his words. ‘Are you a model or an actress?’

‘That’s a terrible line. Very unoriginal,’ Gwen said. ‘In fact, it’s so bad I’m guessing you don’t even want it to work. Which is just bad manners.’

The man’s goofy smile faded slightly. ‘No. I’m serious.’ He attempted a leer. ‘Let me buy you a drink.’

‘No, thank you. Why don’t you head back to your friends now?’

Gwen had spotted the group of similarly clothed office boys. They were looking in her direction with absolutely no subtlety at all. A guy with a thick thatch of black hair and a purple shiny shirt nudged his friend and burst out laughing.

Unfortunately, her would-be-suitor was now looking at her with increased interest. Bollocks. She’d tried to be funny. That was never a good idea. Now he thought she was a challenge.

‘At least talk to me for a bit.’ He spread his hands wide. ‘I mean, we’re both human beings, right? Let’s pass the time together.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Gwen said. ‘I’m waiting for someone and I really don’t feel like company.’ She angled her body away and began fishing in her bag for her phone. If she pretended to write a text message, perhaps he would leave her alone.

A hand appeared in front of her face. ‘Jason. Pleased to meet you.’

Gwen didn’t take the hand. She pressed the middle button on her phone and pretended to read the screen.

‘Don’t I know you from somewhere?’ Jason wasn’t giving up.

‘I don’t think so,’ Gwen said without looking up. There was a brief, blessed silence, but she could feel Jason staring at her.

‘Gwen Harper,’ Jason said. ‘It is. It’s Gwen Harper. Christ, I thought you looked familiar.’

Gwen looked at him. Pink cheeks, small beer gut straining the front of his tucked-in shirt, polyester suit trousers, sweaty forehead. ‘How do you know—’

‘God…’ Jason was shaking his head. ‘You’ve got balls.’

‘Excuse me?’ Gwen’s stomach swooped.

Jason’s voice seemed to have got much louder suddenly. ‘Crazy Gwen. My God, I never thought you’d show up around here.’

Jason had not aged well, but she remembered him now. She had always thought he was decent enough, which just went to show that she didn’t have her mother’s intuition.

‘Crazy Gwen Harper…’ Jason was shaking his head as if she were some kind of mythical beast. ‘Do you know what we used to call you?’

Gwen felt frozen and hot all at the same time. Her eyes pricked.

Jason started counting names off on his fingers. ‘Freak show, Loony Tunes, Harptard. You know, as in re—’

‘Hiya, Gwen, how are you?’ Bob had appeared. Confusingly, he was leaning forward, his arms resting on the bar, smiling at Gwen like she was his long-lost sister.

‘I’m fine, thanks,’ Gwen managed.

‘Pint of Fosters,’ Jason said.

Bob’s gaze flicked to Jason. ‘You’re barred. Get out.’

‘What?’

Bob straightened up. ‘You’re not getting served here, mate. Get out.’

‘Now,’ Bob turned back to Gwen, ‘what can I get you, my love?’

‘Southern Comfort, please. Ice.’

‘You can’t do that,’ Jason said, his pink face flushing deep red. ‘I haven’t done anything.’

‘My pub, my rules,’ Bob said. ‘Either you go quietly or I call the police. Up to you.’

Jason mumbled something, but he must’ve seen something in Bob’s expression because he retreated to his group.

Gwen tried to formulate a ‘thank you’ while Bob poured her drink.

‘Here you go. Don’t let idiots like that get to you.’

‘Thanks,’ Gwen said, confused.

‘I knew your aunt,’ Bob said, as if this explained everything.

‘Great-aunt,’ Gwen said automatically.

‘Yeah, she was,’ Bob said. ‘She helped me out when my dad died. I took over this place from him, you know, and some big-shot on the council tried to stop the licence from being renewed. There’s been a pub here for over a hundred years and then a committee decides it’s not allowed. Anyway, Iris sorted it.’

‘What did she do?’ Gwen said.

Bob shrugged. ‘Sorted it. I didn’t ask questions.’ He smiled, flashing white teeth against his sun-tanned skin. ‘And now we’ve got Iris Mark Two. That’s good news.’

‘I’m not like Iris,’ Gwen said quickly.

‘Give it time,’ Bob said.

‘No. I’m really not.’

Bob held his hands up. ‘Whatever you say. That drink’s on the house, anyway. Just in case.’ He flashed her a final bright smile and moved down the bar to serve somebody else.

Gwen had just bagged a table when Ruby arrived.

Ruby didn’t look convinced. ‘Well, this is colourful,’ she said, making a show of dusting off the bench before sitting down.

‘You’re funny,’ Gwen said. ‘And you’re buying.’

‘I suppose you’re broke,’ Ruby said.

Gwen declined to answer. She pointed to the bar. ‘Quick. Bob is round our side.’

Ruby went to get the drinks and Gwen leaned back, enjoying the smell of beer and woodsmoke and the pleasant anticipation of a glass of red wine. Then she heard a familiar voice and she straightened up. She glanced casually in the direction of the back room and, sure enough, caught sight of Harry. He had a pint glass in each hand and a packet of crisps between his teeth.

‘Cam’s here,’ Ruby said, plonking down their drinks.

‘Is he?’ Gwen said in her most casual voice.

‘Ha,’ Ruby said. She took an appreciative sip of wine while eyeballing Gwen.

‘What?’

‘Ha,’ Ruby said again.

‘Would you please stop saying that?’

‘I give you two five minutes, tops.’

‘You’re clearly delusional.’

‘Five minutes and you’ll be canoodling in a dark corner.’

‘I don’t canoodle. I’m a grown-up.’ Gwen said as primly as she could manage.

Ruby opened her mouth.

‘Don’t say “ha”.’

‘I’m thinking it, though,’ Ruby said.

Gwen decided to take the moral high ground but, before she could think of something clever and cutting to say, she caught sight of Cam. He was walking up the passageway, heading for the gents, no doubt. That’s right. Keep on walking; ignore your old friends. Bastard.

‘Good evening, ladies.’ Cam paused at their table. ‘Hello, Ruby. It’s been a while.’

‘Hello, Cam. Long time, no see.’ Ruby grinned at Gwen and looked meaningfully at her watch.

Gwen ignored her. ‘Don’t let us keep you.’

‘Right.’ Cam looked surprised. If she didn’t know better, she’d say that was a flash of hurt she’d seen cross his face.

‘It was nice to see you again, Ruby.’

And he was gone.

‘Well, that wasn’t very friendly,’ Ruby said.

‘You’re just pissed off because you were wrong.’

‘I wouldn’t say that; you’ve still got another two and a half minutes.’

‘Drop it,’ Gwen said.

‘You’re very touchy today. I’m just remembering the way you two used to be. Joined at the hip. And the lips. And everywhere else—’

Gwen glared at her.

‘Fine, fine.’ Ruby grinned, then said with exaggerated politeness, ‘What would you like to talk about, then?’

An hour later, and Gwen was feeling very proud of herself. She had hardly thought about Cam at all. Well, she’d certainly done an excellent job of pretending not to think about him. And she’d hardly glanced in his direction. Okay, so there was a wall in the way and she couldn’t see him anyway, but it was good going, she thought.

Harry appeared at their table. ‘It doesn’t seem right.’

‘What doesn’t?’ Gwen said.

‘You through here, us back there. It isn’t very friendly.’ Harry stuck out his hand to Ruby. ‘I’m Harry.’

‘Cam’s friend,’ Gwen supplied.

Harry smiled easily. ‘For my sins.’

Gwen opened her mouth to say
we’re fine
, but Ruby was already getting up, gathering her coat and drink.