The Last Love Song (A BWWM BDSM Romance) (8 page)

Breathing heavily, he grabbed my towel from the chair he'd left behind him and wiped his messy hand.

"Good," he said. He cupped my chin and ran his thumb over my lips. "Good girl. You follow instructions very well."

Then, with a heavy sigh, he rose to his feet and let me slide back into the water.

"That's it?" I asked, a little disappointed. I didn't know what exactly I'd expected. I didn't want to have sex with him - at least, I thought I didn't, and I knew for sure that I
shouldn't
- but I was sort of hoping he'd touch me again the way that he had in that tiny hotel room the morning before.

His lips curved with a wicked grin. "You aren't ready for what I want to do to you, yet." His expression softened at the look on my face. "How about some instructions?"

"What do you mean?"

"I want you to touch yourself when you go back to your room," he said. He knelt at the edge of the pool and leaned closer, as if sharing a secret. "I want you to get good and worked up. Rub your clit, use your vibrator on it, whatever you need, and bring yourself right up to the edge. And then I want you to stop."

"Stop?" I'd never done anything like that. When I wanted to get off, I got off. I didn't drag out the process.

"Yes. Stop and count to twenty. I want you to do this to yourself three times."

"And then?" I breathed.

"Then, and only then, you can come. And I want you to slide two fingers deep inside your pussy when it happens. Not before. Only when you're coming. And then I want you to taste yourself."

"Shit," I cursed, my eyes going wide.

"Do that for me," he said, "And then maybe you'll be ready for more."

I watched him walk out. He never looked back; he acted as though he didn't have a care in the world. I couldn't blame him - I'd be feeling pretty damn good, too, if I'd just gotten off as hard as he had.

I waited until he was gone to fix my bikini and get out of the pool. Was I really going to follow his orders? It was one thing to play along when we were together, but once I was alone, in the privacy of my hotel room... Why the fuck not? The man was a lot kinkier than anyone I'd ever been with, but everything he'd done so far only turned me on and made me even more attracted to him.

So maybe I'd give his instructions a try. What could it hurt?

"So. Your new bodyguard."
Oh, fuck, shit, fuck, someone saw us, someone said something
. I tried to appear nonchalant.

"What about him?"

Lexi watched my face with a curious look. The girl was too observant, too damn smart. Get a real job! I wanted to scream at her. But I depended on her too much to drive her away. "Is he the new head of the team?"

I waved a dismissive hand. "Bodyguard politics aren't my concern." I didn't know which one was "head of the team" at any given moment and I certainly didn't care.

"Just because you were looking for him in the lobby," she said, "I thought maybe he was in charge now. Seemed odd 'cause he's so new."

"He had my back this morning," I said, "And I forgot the other guy's name. Why, Lexi? What are you suggesting?" I drew myself up to my full height and planted a hand on my hip. Eyebrows raised, mouth downturned in a disappointed frown, I waited for her to dare to defend herself.

"Absolutely nothing," she said, showing her palms, "I just like to stay on top of staff issues. That's all. Just keeping the peace."

"There are no issues, Lexi, and besides, we're done traveling for a bit now anyway. We'll be home soon. You can relax."

"I can try," she said.

I hadn't meant to snap at her so harshly but I was on edge. I knew Vaughn would want to know how I fared the night before. And I wanted to tell him, God help me. But though I caught glimpses of him through the morning as we prepared to leave the hotel, I never did catch a moment alone with him.

And it would be a little while before the crew was together again. We were heading back to Los Angeles - back home, for them at least. My heart would always reside in Philadelphia, but I owned an apartment in both cities. Unfortunately for me, we'd arranged for rehearsals to take place in LA, so that was where I'd be spending most of my time before the dreaded award show.

It made it easier to line up media appearances if I stayed there, too. Philly and my family would have to wait until I found a spare weekend. Free time was getting harder and harder to come by every year.

Getting out the hotel was just as hectic as always. And just looking at the airport made me feel exhausted, despite the good night's sleep I'd gotten. It would be nice to put down roots for a little while.

I listened to my crew chat during the flight. They all had plans with friends and family. I had a couple parties I was considering attending but I hadn't made any arrangements yet - I was considering going full-on shut-in outside of rehearsals and appearances.

"What about you, Vaughn?" Lexi asked. I tried not to look like I was listening, tried to pretend I was still reading something on my phone.

"The company gave me another assignment for next week," he said. "After that?" He shrugged.

Damn
. He'd be busy for a week. Maybe even traveling. I didn't like the fact that I was disappointed but I had to recognize it, had to accept it.
And I have to do something about it
. I wanted him around. That much was certain. If he only had a week-long assignment, I'd have to call up the security company and make sure I booked up some of his time after.

I couldn't believe that I was considering such a thing, but he'd woken something up in me and I wanted to continue exploring it.

All I needed was a valid excuse to buy his time. It looked like I'd be joining LA's social scene after all.

◦◦◦

"Vision Security Services, how can I help you?"

"Yes, this is Zenaida, I'd like to hire someone for this weekend."

"Account number?"

Shit
. I hung up.
This is why I have assistants
. Simply throwing my name wouldn't do the trick over the phone.

I'd lined up a couple social events already and hadn't let my team know just yet. Pauline was busy with the business of getting everything ready for my next tour, but she'd be on my case soon enough about making local appearances. I wanted to have Vaughn lined up before then.

Otherwise the week had been filled with grueling rehearsals. It was important for our performance at the Relevance Awards to be just perfect, and I was full of ideas to make it better and better. But more changes meant more work, and I was beginning to suspect that my dancers and my costume department were plotting to kill me.

"Guys, people will be watching this shit over and over," I said, circling the dance studio we were renting out for the month. "You might think we can get away with little mistakes the night of the performance but people
will
spot them online."

My dancers only glared. They knew better than to speak up when I was in perfectionist mode.

"Take pride in your work, people!" I said, clapping at them, urging them on, pushing them as hard as I dared. The whole thing needed to be absolutely perfect.

I would not let Camden have the satisfaction of seeing anything less. If I was forced to be at the same event as him, to put on a show while he was in the audience, I was going to make damn sure it kicked as much ass as possible. I was angry that I was being made to do this, and I was going to make everybody else miserable along with me.

And when rehearsal was over and everybody began to file out, I kept right on dancing and right on making notes to think about later. "Girl, you need to get laid," one of the dancers called over his shoulder on his way out the studio's door.

I let it slide. I knew I was being way too hard on them. But I couldn't seem to stop.

When I thought about seeing Vaughn again, though, my stomach stopped churning with dread. Instead, it fluttered with something else.

Butterflies.

I had to see him.

But if I asked Lexi to make the call to the security company for me, she'd flip the hell out. The girl had no stomach for scandal. It would not work for my image to have the press thinking I was sleeping with my bodyguard.
Even if I'm not. I just want to...
I didn't really know what I was doing. But it wasn't as simple as just getting laid, that was for sure.

Pauline would freak out, too. The woman would start eating her hair if I didn't stop shedding staff members.
It's been three weeks since I've fired anyone, though!
No one had quit in that time, either. It was a damn record!

That left Gavin. He could be discreet. He wouldn't think the sky was falling - or if he did, he would keep it to himself. At least I hoped he would. I called him up and crossed my fingers that he hadn't left for his vacation yet.

"Hey, Zenaida," he said hesitantly when he answered the phone. I jumped for joy, right there in the lavish living room of my apartment.

"Gavin!" I barked. "Sorry to bother you. I just need one little thing, and I couldn't talk to Pauline or Lexi or anyone else about it, really."

"Oh?" That piqued his curiosity. "What is it?"

I took a deep breath. "I need you to book Vaughn for me for a couple of events."

"The security guy? Pauline will be glad you're showing your face, why would she have a problem with this?"

"Because I want to book him specifically."

I clenched my teeth as I waited for his reaction. "Okay," he said, drawing out the word. "I know they were scheduling him out for other jobs, but I'll see what I can do. Just give me the dates. Do you want me to book someone else when he isn't available?"

"I guess," I said. I'd already RSVP'd for everything. Simply not showing up was an option, but without a valid excuse it wouldn't look very good.

"All right," Gavin said once I gave him the dates and times, "I'll get right on it. But Zenaida?"

"Yes?"

"You'll have to call them yourself if anything changes. I'm going to be away for the next two weeks. Like, unavailable away."

"Just text me our account information with them. And Gavin? Thanks."

I, Zenaida, pop goddess, had the jitters. Ridiculous to imagine. My stylist had come by and teased my hair up into a curly, wild explosion atop my head, had painted my face with dramatic eyeliner wings and a bright golden eyeshadow. I was wearing a tight cream-colored dress that showed far too much leg and heels that lifted me an extra four inches, and I was about to attend a release party for the "hottest rap album of the year."