The Last Thing (26 page)

I walked over and ran my hands along the paint cans and then
across the dozens of brushes and glass jars. My fingers itched to create, but
after such a long hiatuses, I was afraid I would mess it up. Still, Chase
believed in me.

“And don’t worry, the paint is free of harmful fumes, and if
you need anything else—”

“Okay. I’ll try,” I interrupted.

“Hell yeah.”   He grinned and leaned in to kiss my nose.

“But not today. Right now, I wanna go home, eat then take a
nap.”

Chase

“Are you nervous?”

“Uh, yes!” Quinn said. She kept fiddling with her hair, a
nervous habit that I found adorable. She blew a strand off her face and wiggled
nervously. Harlow would be here any minute, but she was late as usual. Randall
sat outside of the private lounge guarding us from peeking intruders. We
normally stayed at home, but Harlow liked to be wined and dined.
The quaint
Malibu restaurant sat right on the shore, but our VIP table was the only one on
the outside deck.  We had a clear view of the ocean. The sound of cawing birds
and the waves crashing surrounded us.
 I squeezed Quinn’s hand.

“She will love you.” 

“I hope so. I’ve never met any of your friends, so this is
exciting.”

“You know Barrett,” I reminded her. She made a sour face.

“Don’t remind me.”

“Baby steps remember?” I told her. “Friends and family first.
We’ll deal with everyone else as it comes.”

Harlow’s brown head appeared next to Randall.

“Hey big boy, you protecting my favorite man?” she teased.

“She’s so pretty,” Quinn whispered in my ear.

Harlow played the part of a model well, but she was laidback
and I trusted her with all my secrets. She was the only person I wanted to
share Quinn with right now. Quinn would love her. Harlow didn’t have much of a
reputation, besides the ones people created about me. She was a good girl, a
virginal masterpiece.

“She’s gonna love you, relax.” I normally didn’t need Randall
except for when I went to events, but I wasn’t about to take a chance with
Quinn’s safety. I wanted her privacy to feel well protected when we went out.

 “What a quaint little restaurant!” Harlow called out, her
hands opened for a hug. She glanced around at the view. I gave her a hug, followed
by a kiss on the cheek and turned to Quinn.

 “Quinn, this is my good friend Harlow. Harlow, meet Quinn,
the love of my life.” Harlow grabbed Quinn by the shoulders and hugged her
tightly.

 “I’m so excited to meet the girl who finally tamed my Chasey.”

  Quinn let out a gasp of surprise at Harlow’s embrace,
but awkwardly patted her on the back.

“Uh, nice to meet you too.”

Harlow’s hands went straight to Quinn’s stomach where she
began rubbing and prodding, making Quinn look uncomfortable.

“Well look at that, you really are pregnant aren’t you? Now
aren’t you just a cutie. Do you know what you’re having yet?”

Quinn peered at me, and I could tell that she wasn’t sure if
she could trust Harlow with that personal detail. I could see that Quinn was out
of her comfort zone and a bit intimidated by Harlow’s large personality.

“We are having a boy, but don’t tell anyone.”

Harlow gasped and put her hands to her mouth.

“ Let’s sit!” I announced. “Our food should be here any
moment.”

We all fell into a familiar conversation about all things
baby, even Quinn seemed to get excited when talking about baby names.

“I was thinking about the name Collin or James…” Quinn said
slyly. It was the first time she’d mentioned names, but then again before we
found out the sex, she had been hesitant to talk about those types of things.

“Really?  I like those.” I sat up, suddenly very
interested in what she was saying.

“No, No,” Harlow waved her hand, “You have to name the eldest
son after a family member. After your father or brother perhaps?”

“I’m an only child, and I’m not really close with my father.
I really like Collin.”

“Collin it is,” I interjected. 

 Harlow didn’t shut up all the way through our meal, and I
believe Quinn really enjoyed not having to speak. She sat there and politely
nodded as Harlow jabbered on about a fashion show and funny little stories
about her airplane trip. Finally, Harlow directed the conversation at me.

“So when is your big movie coming out? My Chasey has finally
hit the A-list! Welcome to the big leagues.”

“They both come out after Christmas,” I said between bites of
my pancakes. “And don’t act like you’re any better. You are so B-list.”

“I am not! Are you two gonna walk the red carpet together?”
Harlow pointed a finger expectantly back and forth between Quinn and me. It
wasn’t something we had talked about, but I figured she’d come out with me
eventually.

“I’m not about to make my debut eight months pregnant.” Quinn
said with a disgusted face.

“They are going to find out eventually, and then it will be a
race to see which photographer can get your baby’s photo first.”

“Don’t scare her,” I growled at Harlow, a little sharper than
I attended.

All the color drained from Quinn’s face.  “You really
think they will try and do that?”

“Of course, and what about the hospital stay. Have you
reserved a private room?”

Quinn shook her head, “No, I’m planning on having the baby at
home.”

The statement caused milk to fly from my nose and mouth. Where
had that come from? She’d told the nurse the other day that she hadn’t come up
with a birthing plan yet, but now she sounded quite certain.

“No hospital? What if something goes wrong?”

Quinn and Harlow laughed as I used my napkin to wipe up the
milk.  Just great.

“I have been thinking about it a lot the past few days, and I
hate hospitals. Home births are completely safe.”

I decided to let it go, it was her choice, even though the
thought of her delivering a baby so far away from the professionals terrified
me. 

 “Sounds great.”

Randall appeared behind me before bending down and quietly
whispering in my ear. “A few fans have become aware of your presence, sir.”

“Keep them away.” I nodded at a few girls who stood behind
the glass inside the restaurant trying not to stare.

Quinn put her fork down and sat up straighter. “Everything
okay?”

“Yes, dear. Nothing to worry about, just a few fans.”

The girls who stood near the beach beside the patio held
their phones up and began to point.

“A few?”

“Okay, don’t freak out, but some fans are taking pictures
with their phone.”

“Shit.” Quinn quickly put her sunglasses back on.

“Don’t worry.” Harlow put her hand out to reassure her. “They’re
still pretty far away. They won’t be able to get a clear shot of us.”

“Have you seen the new smart phones? They zoom like really
far! What if someone sees my stomach?”

“Just ignore them, and they’ll get bored soon,” Harlow told
her.

“Chase!” One of the girls waved her hands in the air like a
crazy person.

I looked back down at my plate and pretended not to notice.
When would people realize that it was rude to bother people during breakfast?

Harlow began waving her hands in the air mocking the fan like
she had a big story to tell, but I knew it was only to make Quinn laugh.

“So, did I ever tell you about the time Chasey here got drunk
for the first time?” Quinn’s eyes lit up

“Harlow shut- up.” I warned, putting my head in my hands in
disbelief.  She was going to spill my most embarrassing secrets. I wanted
Quinn to think highly of me.

Quinn scooted her seat closer to the table.  “I have to hear
this!”

 Harlow chuckled and began her story. “Well we both had
cameos on this low budget TV show. We were only—what—sixteen at the time? Well
Chase gets this bright idea to get drunk at the hotel after filming…. ”

An hour later, we left the restaurant. Quinn was in a great mood,
and the girls had gotten along great. The fans had gotten tired after a few
minutes and stopped taking pictures, and Randall had kept people from bothering
us.

“Well?”

“I loved her,” Quinn said, the smile hadn’t left her face.
Harlow had already left for a photo-shoot. “Do you think those pictures are
gonna be online?”

“I know they will, but Harlow was at the table as well. I
doubt anyone will think anything of it. It didn’t look like a date.”

“Good.”

“But if it does, we will take it as it comes. Not to worry.”

  As we made our way to the car, Quinn kept eyeing the water.

“Wait.” She put a hand out to stop me.

“Yes?”

“I want…can we take a walk on the beach?”

I nodded, unsure of where she was going with this.  Quinn
hated the water, why would she offer to go down to the beach? I took her hand
in mine and she led me through the hot sand towards her greatest fear.

Quinn

I wanted freedom. I wanted to choose my own future, and as
good as this day had been going, there was no better time to swim in the
ocean.  I hadn’t planned it or even thought about it. It was an impulse
decision as we left our brunch with Harlow. One look at the water, and I knew
it was time.

“I can’t breathe,” I told Chase, he responded by squeezing my
hand tighter. I closed my eyes and focused on taking small breaths. I did this
before, with him by my side. I could do it again.

“You don’t have to do this now.”

“I used to love the ocean,” I admitted.  From the look on his
face, I could tell that he was shocked.

“I just assumed…”

“I know, but once upon a time, when my parent’s and I were
closer, we would go to the beach every year. I loved everything about it.  I
especially loved the smell of the salt and ocean fizz.” I took a deep breath of
the salty air. Yup, it was still the same.

 The beach was practically empty except for a handful of
birds. The waves crashed against the rocks over and over again. I closed my
eyes and inhaled as my hair flapped across my face. Something pulled me toward
the shore. I wanted so badly to get past the hurt, and I wanted to see if I
could do it.

I can do it. I can do it.

 Without hesitating, I walked up to the water. Further and
further.  Deeper and deeper. The entire time Chase stood at my side, letting me
do my thing. My anxiety almost took over, but just as I began to panic, calm
washed over me. It was a feeling of newfound strength and hope.

“Six months,” I told him. “Six months after the accident I
gave up.”

As I talked about the suicide for the first time, I wondered
why I hadn’t told him before.  I’d only discussed the situation with doctors.

“Were you scared?”

“Not at first.” The waves came up to my hips, and I struggled
to stand strong in the sand as the water pushed at me.  After a few mishaps of
almost falling, Chase took a step closer to me. With both hands on my hips, he
held me in place.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered near my ear.  I felt lighter,
and I took a deep breath as Chase held me in place. He gave me strength, made
me stronger.

“Could you tell me about that day?” He had never asked before,
and I was afraid he’d think less of me if he knew the details. I bit my lip
nervously.

“You promise not to ever bring it up?”

“I’ll never bring it up again.”

 I hadn’t talked about it in so long. In therapy they made me
analyze each part of that day. I talked about it till I was blue in the face.
Where did I start?  My downfall began the night Bash died.

“I used to visit that bridge every day. You know, stand on
the edge, and peer into the murky water. The dreams came frequently back then,
nightly. It got to the point where I wouldn’t sleep. I couldn’t sleep. Every
time I closed my eyes, Bash was there.”

I closed my eyes and imagined the old rusty bridge that ran
along the outside of town. The image was etched into my mind.

“My parents fought all the time. My friends, all of them,
believed I killed Bash. People said I drove the car off the bridge. Some said I
left Bash to die and saved myself. Whatever the reason, I didn’t know.  I
couldn’t piece together that night. Sometimes I would get a glimpse of
something that happened, but I could never tell if it was real or if it was a
dream. I wanted to know. I needed to know what happened. There were times I’d
convinced myself that a certain memory was  just a figment of my imagination.”