The Last Thing (29 page)

“Quinn,
can you tell us if Chase is really the father?”

“Quinn,
have you spoken to Chloe? How to you feel about ruining their relationship?”

Their
questions stung me, but I ignored them.

“Keep
your head down and ignore them,” Randall demanded.

 I
did as he said and before I knew it, he had pushed me into the back of a limo.

“What’s
going on?” I demanded.

“Chase
sent me to make sure you were safe.”

“Whatever.”

Randall
whispered something to the driver and we began moving.

“Believe
it or not, but Chase asked me to keep an eye on you. He’s afraid for you.”

“Afraid
that I’m not strong enough to handle myself? He and Ginger treat me like a
china doll sometimes…”

“I
know that he loves you. I’ve been his bodyguard for six years, and he’s never
cared about any woman before. He just believes that he’s protecting you from
the press.”

“He
abandoned me, when he promised he wouldn’t let anyone come in between us. Why
are you so sure that he’ll come back?”

“Why
are you so sure that he won’t?”

I
wasn’t sure what to say, so I sat there with my hands crossed in front of my
chest until the limo came to a stop. The pain swelled in my chest. As terrible
as I felt, I wished for the numbness to come back.

Hours later, my feet dangled off the edge of Ginger’s small
pool in her backyard. The warm water engulfed my legs, but I felt nothing.  Chase
had done the one thing I’d expected, abandoning me for his career. I felt
stupid for expecting anything more from him.

Though the moon was high in the sky, Ginger’s back yard was
dark. I knew why Chase had run, and I can’t say I blamed him. I’d stayed away
from the TV and papers all week, but Ginger told me that the backlash wasn’t as
bad as it could have been.  She’d been surprised when I’d suggested a swim. I
hadn’t so much as dipped a toe into her pool since moving here. Ginger sat down
beside me in her red bikini and splashed her long legs against the water.

“Everything okay?”

“No, but It will be.” I wouldn’t let myself cry over another
man. It wouldn’t happen again. Chase would come back to me; he just had to.

“I hope he rots in hell.”

“He’s just trying to protect me. I understand why he did it.
I don’t like it, but I understand.”

“No shit, he’s trying to save his career. You were both
planning on announcing your relationship anyway, what’s the difference?”

“The difference is that Chloe already sold a story to the
press saying that he had been cheating on her this entire time. The whole world
thinks I’m a slut!” I buried my face in my hands in shame. The news had to have
hit home by now. Everyone thought the worst of me.

“I know I have this love hate relationship with Chase, but
I’ve never seen you happier than with him. Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Being away from him is not what’s best for me, but I was
given no choice.”

“I don’t know, celebrities recover from scandals all the
time. There has to be something more to the story... maybe he really is trying
to protect you and the baby.”

“Maybe…I wish that he could have trusted me to stand by his
side.” I stared out at all the twinkling city lights in the distance. Neither
of us spoke for a long time, just enjoyed the quiet view.

“What are you going to do now?”

Just like that, the silence in my head disappeared. I knew
exactly what I needed.

“Live,” I told her.

I wasn’t going to take the coward’s way out this time. This
time I was going to fight for myself. I wasn’t going to let anyone bully me, especially
people who didn’t know me. An undeniable urge overcame me. I pushed the thought
away. I couldn’t do anything but twiddle my thumbs as it pushed harder against
me.

I stood up, carefully since it was harder to get around with
this huge stomach.

“I have something that I need to finish,” I told her.

After throwing on some clothes, I got in my car and drove
across town to Bel Air.  As I walked into the elaborate house, I instantly felt
safer. This should be home. Nowhere else. I walked inside and made my way to
the baby’s room. I sat in the nursery surrounded by all the paint buckets.
Chase had wanted me to design it. I didn’t have inspiration before, but I did
now.

The walls were already painted a medium gray. Without
thinking, I grabbed my pencil and tape and began stenciling out the trunk of a
tree. Woodsy would be the typical choice for a baby’s room, but I planned on
making it more.  When I had the outline sketched out, I began painting. On the
walls, I created a scene of white bare trees against the gray.  While I made
the long strokes across the wall, I finally let the tears fall. I cried for
myself, I cried for Chase. I cried for our unborn son. I cried for the future I
always wanted, but would never have.  When I finished, I laid down on the floor
to catch my breath.

While staring at the ceiling, a scene came to mind. I stood
up and climbed up the old metal ladder in the corner of the room. Using blues
and yellow, I created a starry night scene on the ceiling.  My neck hurt from
using the roller, but I quickly finished.  The sun was beginning to rise, and
even though I’d been up all night painting, I couldn’t stop. When I touched the
brushes, the extension of my mind blended into colors.  My passion had
returned. I wanted to create more.  I wanted to sculpt and return back to special
effects makeup like I’d originally planned.

  After searching downstairs for a few minutes, I was able to
find a piece of paper and used my pencil to sketch. Picture after picture, I
created images from my mind. They had no real purpose, no real meaning. From
images of nature to scenes from a horror movie. Whatever came to my mind, I
sketched it on paper. Around eight in the morning, my stomach began to ache. It
reminded me that I needed to take it easy. Too tired to go back home, I pulled
off my dirty clothes and crawled upstairs into the bed that Chase and I were
supposed to share.

Chase

I turned off the TV and sat in silence on my bed. Chloe’s
story had run a few days ago. Her sob story of how I got another girl pregnant
behind her back. It was disgusting how she used this story for her own personal
gain. I was right though, the studio wasn’t happy about what she had done. They
didn’t like the type of negative publicity it was drumming up, and they wanted her
to retract the statements. As soon as Quinn’s name had been leaked, I sent
Randall out to pick Quinn up. Photographers sat out in my street, trying to get
pictures every time I walked outside. I would have to hear them when I left in
a few minutes. I picked up my phone and tried my mom again. She was supposed to
be on her way into town. We kept missing each other’s calls, but she had left a
message telling me she was still flying in on Saturday. That was today. 

“Hello?”

“Mami…”  I knew my voice sounded whiny, but what can I say?
I’m a mama’s boy.

“¿Que rayos esta pasando? My phone is ringing off the hook
about you getting some girl pregnant?”

“It’s true, but before you say anything, Chloe’s story is
fake.”

“So you weren’t dating that little blonde pop star?”

“No, we were never together; it was always only me and
Quinn.”

“Good because that girl needs to put on some more clothes. Every
time I see her, she is half-naked.”

I chuckled slightly, yup that was my mom talking.

“The media’s  been hounding me all morning. I can’t get a
second’s rest; you may want to stay at a hotel instead of here.”

“And miss meeting this new girlfriend of yours? Too late, I
am in the taxi right now. I’ll be there soon.”

“Well, about that. We had to take a break until all of this
settles down...”

“Chase Crowley! I saw the pictures. She looks pretty far
along. I’m very disappointed in you. You don’t abandon your family.
¿Ama usted a
esta chica?  Do you love this girl?”

“Yes, Mami.”  I loved her, but I didn’t want to be
responsible for ruining her life.

“Then you stand by her side. I don’t care what some studio
says. Your career is nothing without family. Are you happy alone?”

I didn’t answer. She was right.  It wasn’t my job to protect
Quinn, she was doing fine all by herself.

“You don’t understand…”

“Oh, I understand, I understand that you’re pushing her away
when things get hard.  You’ve always been too obsessed with that career of
yours.”

She was right. I promised Quinn I would never leave her. I’d
promised her a lot of things, but I ran at the first sign of trouble.  How was
I supposed to know what you did in a normal relationship? I had never had one.

“Did you hear me, Chase. You go find the mother of your child
and you go be with her.”

“What about you?”

“Don’t worry about me. I will let myself into your place.”

Without saying goodbye, I hung up and dialed Quinn’s number.
I needed to hear her voice and know that she was okay. I needed to apologize
for choosing my career over her. When it went straight to voicemail, I knew I needed
to find her.

With my keys in hand, I walked downstairs to where my car was
parked. The crowd had died down, but a few strays ran up as soon as I hit the
sidewalk. They waved the cameras and microphones in my face.

“Chase, is it true that you cheated on Chloe James?”

“Chase Crowley, rumor has it that your new girlfriend is
pregnant. Is it a boy or a girl?”

Their questions kept coming, but I kept my head down and got
into my car. They kept flashing the cameras as I drove off, but I didn’t care.
The only thing on my mind was getting to Quinn. The drive to Hollywood took
about twenty minutes, but it felt like forever. Would she take me back? Was I
too late? I pulled into Ginger’s driveway and jumped out of the car, not even
bothering to turn the car off.

“Quinn!”

I pounded on the front door persistently until the door flew
open. Ginger stepped out onto her front pouch, her eyes wild and her mouth set
in a hard line. I didn’t even get a word out before her right arm swung back
and punched me straight in the jaw.

“Fuck!” I yelled out. For being such a delicate looking girl,
she could really pack some power into her punch.

“Where is she?” I gritted my teeth in anger.

“Like you deserve to know.”

“I deserve that. Trust me, I screwed up. Now where is she?”

She put her hands on her hips and took a step back into her
house.

“Fucking tell me, Ginger!” I yelled right as the door slammed
shut.

“You don’t deserve her,” she said from behind the door.

My
right fist went out to pound on the door a few more times.

“Ginger,
please. I messed up. I was afraid she’d hurt herself. I was afraid my career
would be ruined. I was afraid to fight for her…”

 She
was right. I didn’t deserve her. I never did. I turned around and sat down on
the ground, she’d come home soon, and when she did, I would be right here
waiting.

Quinn

I spent the better part of the last few days at the new
house. A part of me hoped Chase would show up, but when he didn’t I continued
painting the baby’s room. By now, I had detailed the mural and ceiling. I extended
out a cursive lyric across a window that said

 “
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's
end.”
 

It was a quote from a Roman philosopher named Seneca. My
psychiatrist said it to me once, and it always stuck in the back of my mind. It
fit. My child was my new beginning, but it was the end of the fresh start I’d
moved to LA for.  Things would turn out better this time. Using the brush, I
painted my emotions, all the ones that I’d hidden for the past year. My heart
was raw. I stood in the doorway and admired my finished work. It was the most
extensive piece I had ever made.

My phone died this morning, and I hadn’t packed a charger.
Ginger would probably be worried sick that I hadn’t called to check in. I
wasn’t ready to return though, so I did my best to scrub the paint off my body.
I had overworked myself the past few days, and wanted to take a nap.

After I cleaned my body, I climbed back into the big bed.  I
fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. That was when it came to me.
What was once foggy had cleared up. It was as if my mind was ready to accept
the truth. I remembered. I remembered that night.

My eyelids are heavy, but somehow I pry them open enough to
realize what is going on. The seatbelt digs into my hips as I try and move, and
my head aches.