The Lesser Blessed (12 page)

“Fuck, man, that’s fuckin’ fucked!”

“You’re telling me?”

He watched me for a bit and we were really quiet. I was shaking as I told the story and tears started to come out. I didn’t care. I didn’t brush them away. Then they started to come faster. I was crying so hard my legs shook. “My aunt came over the next day and said, I feel like someone’s been inside me,’ but my mom talked her out of it. My mom fuckin’ knew!” I cried into my pillow, and in a little while, Johnny reached out and put his hand on my shoulder.

“Holy fuck, Larry, ” he kept saying, “holy fuck.”

He turned the music up so Mom and Jed wouldn’t hear me crying.

“Okay, Lare, don’t cry, ‘kay? Listen, I’m gonna tell you about why I call Darcy ‘Thumper.’ ”

“Just wait,” I sniffed. “Fuck, I’m tired of crying.”

I blew my nose in my sock and threw the damn sock in the corner. Then I sat up. I was a little happy that I’d finally get to hear this story.

“When I first moved here,” he started, “I hooked up with Darcy. He and I used to smoke up, and he hung around Juliet. He hung around all puppy-eyed and he was trying hard to get stinky with her. So one night we went to a party and Juliet was drinking. It’s no secret; when she’s drinking, she’s seventeen going on skanky. Darcy was drinking too. I guess he had eighteen years of lust and a bottle of Johnny Walker in him, so he starts begging her to make him a man.
I heard him asking. She listened ’cause they were buddies and all, and she said, ‘Yeah, sure. Why not. You men are all the same.’ Darcy had a bone on him a dog couldn’t chew! So they go off into a field outside the party. We were at the trailer court. They must have thought I was still partying, but I followed them. I didn’t know anyone at the party anyway. So I followed them and watched Darcy spread his coat on the ground. He dropped his pants to his ankles—gonch and all! His fat white ass was waving in the air and she laid down and felt him up. I swear to God he just jumped her like there was no tomorrow and she starts saying, ‘I’m not on the pill. Pull out! Pull out!’ He must have lasted a whole ten seconds—a real stallion! He pulls out and does his business really dramatic ’cause she still has her shirt and jacket on and she gets all mad at him.

“She says, ‘Aw hell, Darce. How’m I gonna clean that up?’

“Darcy is layin’ on top of her and he doesn’t give a shit. He’s still up in lala land ’cause he got to spunk, and she says—I swear to God—she says, ‘You know what I’m gonna call you? I’m gonna call you Thumper ’cause you’re so fast.’

“I started to laugh so loud I had to sneak back to the party and pretend I didn’t see a damn thing.

“About five minutes later they come back into the party and Darcy’s all smily. He looks at me and winks and I ask, ‘How was she? ’ And he says, ‘Pretty grand,’ and I say, ‘Well, whenever you’re ready to go there, Thumper!’

“And holy shit, he took a swing at me—you should have seen his face. He was like, ‘That name better not stick, man. That better not stick.’ That’s where we started our warring. The day in the high school was the Monday after. He was passing me in the hallway and I called him Thumper. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I couldn’t resist. He’s an okay guy. He just can’t hold his load is all.”

Johnny was quiet for a while and I was at the edge of my bed. I pulled my legs up close to my body.

“Jeezus, Johnny,” I giggled. “Now that’s a story.”

“You like that, eh?” He smiled.

My face felt puffy. “I know what you mean,” I said, and I went black. I tranced out, and when I came back I was saying. “I really had this thing with the stars. I wanted to be an astronomer. Jed even bought me a telescope and some books. Do you know what the Horse’s Head Nebula is?”

“No,” Johnny answered. I guess I had been talking to him for a while. He was sitting up, staring straight at me.

“Well, it’s a place where stars are born.”

“No shit?”

“Naw. No shit. It’s on Orion’s belt.”

“Who?”

“Orion, the hunter. He’s got this constellation.”

“Like the Big Dipper?”

“Yeah, ’cept it’s bigger. One night we’re having this meteor shower from the Horse’s Head Nebula so I took the pup for a walk—a puppy that belonged to Darcy—but I couldn’t see a thing because of the town glare—”

“Wait a minute,” Johnny interrupted, “you’re not making sense.”

I was too tired to stop. “The lights of the town dim the stars. So I took Darcy’s pup out along the back roads to where the dog teams are and I could see the stars really clear. The dogs were barking at me but that was okay. The puppy was really scared but I wasn’t, and then I seen the meteors flashing as they hit the atmosphere. There was ever lots.”

“Lare,” Johnny said, “hey, man. You’re freaking out.”

“Hundreds of them. Yeah, and I started hollering ’cause I could finally breathe ’cause when I wore my mask I could never take a full breath. I was always scared my nose would close up with all the scar tissue. I thought those meteors were angels falling to earth. I was howling with the dogs ’cause the dogs could see them too. I got so happy and excited I put that puppy down. I started to twirl and twirl and that puppy got too close to one of the huskies. By the time I
realized what was happening that puppy was chewed up by the dogs. I mean, they tore her up. That puppy didn’t have a chance, and now I have allergies to puppies—”

“Holy shit. What are you talking about?!”

“Yeah, you said it. Holy shit. I was in big trouble. That was Darcy’s puppy, and I felt pretty bad. He was on vacation at the West Edmonton Mall. The fuckin’ huskies didn’t care. Darcy came home a few days later to pick up his pup and I had to tell him what happened. Jed was there in the kitchen in case anything happened. That was the last time Darcy or his mom came over to our house. We’ve been enemies ever since.”

“Larry? Helloooo, Lare, it’s me, Johnny. You okay?”

“I was going to spy on the grad bash, you know. I rode out to the golf course to see everyone. I was sneaking up with my bike and I could hear everyone having a good time, whooping it up, and who do I run into on the highway walking back to town ’cause his ride left him ’cause he was being an asshole? Darcy McMannus—you bet. And he’s meaner than hell when he gets drinking. I told you what he done to the Merciers. I said hello to him. It was the first time we’d spoken in a while. I thought we could talk or something, but he smoked me and I fell down. I thought he would stop and call it even, but he just kept kicking me with his cowboy boots. He was screaming at the top of his lungs about his dog and how I fucked everything up. I thought people would stop the fight but no one came. I can still hear his cowboy boots scraping against the pavement. I passed out; someone came and found me later on. What did the cops do? Nothing. I didn’t report it. I just told my mom I got rolled by a drunk. I told her it was too dark to see who it was. I had to go to the hospital and everything. Darcy knew I could have reported him but I didn’t... As you would say, we were even.”

Johnny was sitting up and moving back to the wall. I knew I was scaring him.

“As you would say,” I repeated, “we were even.”

I enjoyed it. Even though I was trancing, I knew what I was saying. “Yeah, well, I’m tired,” I said. “You’re not gonna be a dink and wake me up every fifteen minutes, are you?”

“Your mom asked me to.”

“Use your best judgement then. I gotta go to sleep. I’m tired.”

Johnny’s eyes had bugged wide. He pulled his blankets close to him, and I smiled.

I rolled over. “Thanks for talkin’.”

For once, Johnny was quiet. I loved it.

“G’night, Johnny,” I said softly.

He responded in a lighter voice: “Fuck, I want to go home.”

I had a really bad headache, but I was happy inside. The only thing that kept me from roaring with laughter was one question: What do I do about Juliet?

The last thing I heard from Johnny came in a whisper. “Man,” he said, “you are fuckin’ crazy.”

It got cold out, but the days didn’t know what to do. It would rain and snow in the same day, only to melt and glitter the next. Some of the dogs in town lay down to pant like lions on the melting snow only to later freeze solid to the ground. They whimpered and whined as their owners tried to pull them free.

You could tell fall was pushing hard and you knew winter was eager too, but just at the last second—the one that determines if it’s great sex or an animal act—fall would pull out in a Thumper sort of way and it would all go straight to hell. Winter would be cold towards fall for a bit, but they’d eventually embrace and it would start all over. The days were a tease really, and we all went to bed frustrated.

Juliet still wore her jean jackets and I used the same jacket I had
worn forever. Johnny and Donny got new parkas with wolf-trim hoods. Donny said their dad had sent them some cash. Both of them kept saying their dad was coming soon, that he was going to get work up in the diamond mines.

Four of us were standing in the laundry room: Johnny, me, Juliet and Kevin Garner, the slave-day auctioneer. There was a laundry room on each floor in Spruce Manor, and it was a great place to smoke up. We had two joints. The room was pitch black. Kevin was a pusher, and he had hammerhead fingernails. I had spied them when he unscrewed the light bulb so we would become invisible to hallway traffic.

I remembered vaguely that hammerhead fingernails meant tapeworms, so I treated Kevin like a leper. He also had snaggle teeth and greasy black hair. I didn’t want to stand next to him but had to, to be close to Juliet. To my right was Johnny. I wasn’t really stoned. Every time someone took a puff, I watched Johnny and Juliet in the cherry glare. He had been grabbing her ass all night. I wondered if he had seen us on the dance floor. I wondered if Juliet remembered our tongues, my hands on her ass and the way she had whispered, “Let’s go.” I knew it had all happened because my shiner was still pretty green where Jazz had cracked me. Johnny told me that Jazz would leave me alone now. We were even.

Johnny and I had put in ten bucks each for a gram of hash, but Kevin had been smoking most of it. In the black, I could hear Johnny’s frothy white swollen cow tongue suck and lather up Juliet’s mouth. To me, it sounded as murderous as a wet, bleeding arm stump pulling and popping back into its socket: schluck, schlucka, schluck. The joint came my way. I inhaled the fire and held it without coughing.

I was learning.

I dropped the joint to my right, where Johnny was. It blinked out, and he scrambled for it. While he was down, I grabbed Juliet’s ass. She rubbed me back. I smiled. I wanted to lean over and have her right there with Kevin and Johnny in the same room. I stuck my hand
down her shirt, and she rubbed me faster. I got to feel her little lace bra!

Johnny said, “I found it,” and I backed off.

“What?” Juliet asked, “Who said that?”

“Me ... Johnny.”

“Oh...,”she gulped.

I guess she thought I was Johnny. Haha!

Kevin screwed the light bulb into the socket and the light blared on. Juliet was straightening her shirt and Johnny was trying to suck the joint back to life.

“Turn that light out,” Johnny scolded.

“Sorry, boss,” Kevin said and unscrewed it again.

“The landlord’ll call the cops if he catches us in here.”

I was stoned and didn’t give a shit about the cops. The room was dark again. The only light came from under the door. I wanted Juliet so bad, but Kevin and Johnny were in the way. I turned my head and looked towards Juliet. I torched the lighter.

“Get fucked, get laid, mony mony ! ” I said, and everybody laughed.

I aimed the lighter at the joint but at the last second turned and caught the wolf trimming on Johnny’s hood. It threw a flash-fire trail all around his head. All we saw for an instant was Johnny’s mouth in an O. I shoved the lighter into Kevin’s hands and pushed him down. We all screamed and stormed out of the room. I was laughing hard as the white smoke bellowed out and Johnny was slapping away at the singed fur. He was screaming at the top of his lungs: “Holy! ... you sunova! ... I can’t believe ... !”

I grabbed Juliet and ran into Johnny’s apartment. I took her into the bathroom and propped her up on the sink. I kissed her wet and stuck my tongue in her mouth. She was slow in responding so I pulled her close and started dry humping her.

“Whoah, boy!” she said and pushed me back.

I stopped in mid-hump.

“I’m Johnny’s,” she said.

“What about the dance?” I could hear Johnny’s voice out in the hallway still cursing. I backed off and opened the door.

She looked at me and stood up. “What about it? I liked the song. I was lonely.”

I walked into the kitchen and slumped down on the counter. I lit up a smoke, breathing deep. Johnny came in all red-faced with his coat in his hands. He kept saying, “Fuckin’ black bannock, that fuckin’ black bannock!”

I guess Johnny was pretty stoned ’cause I didn’t know what he was talking about. He watched Juliet come out of the bathroom, then said, “He gave us our money back, Lare. Here. He says you lit the lighter.”

“Kevin’s full of shit,” I said.

I took the money and stuffed it in my shirt pocket. I grabbed my coat and blew smoke in Juliet’s face. She coughed. I slapped Johnny on the back, hard.

“I gotta go. Think I’m gonna listen to Jed for a bit.”

“Yeah,” he said, running water and putting his hood under it, trying to straighten out the blackened ratty fur. “Later.”

I looked at Juliet and said, “Yeah, see ya.”

I walked into the hallway, wanting to leave, wanting to get away. I was just about to run down the stairs when I heard Juliet.

“Larry,” she called. “Larry, just a minute.”

I spun around and held my arms to my sides, ready to spring them out like branches to hold her and carry her away.

“Larry,” she said, looking into me. “Listen, I was drunk at the dance.”

“Hmmm,” I grunted. I pulled the energy out of my arms and braced for the “let’s-just-be-friends” speech.

“Larry,” she repeated, “I want to tell you something.”

I waited. “Yeah?”

“You know about your allergies? You know, to puppies?”