The Life of Anna, Part 5: Emerged (13 page)

Alex walked over and knelt next to her.
“Does he love you as I love you?”

Tears filled her eyes. “He’s alive,” she
whispered.

“What if I were still alive, Anna? What
if I walked back into your life tomorrow? Would you take me
back?”

“But you’re not,” she whimpered.

“But if I was?”

Her mind filled with memories of Alex. He
truly knew her. He knew every single thing about her and had loved
her regardless. Would Hugo still want to be with her if he knew
what she really was? Hugo cared for Katrina. Could he care for
someone like Anna?

Hugo was the most honorable man she had
ever met, next to Alex. Before they took the next step in their
relationship, he deserved to know the truth.

“Anna?”

She closed her eyes at Alex’s deep,
melodious voice. The voice she had wanted to hear again for so
long. She opened her eyes again and looked into the eyes of the man
she had loved for so long. “I don’t know,” she answered
honestly.

Alex searched her eyes. “I will always
love you, Schatzi.” He reached out to touch her cheek, and
disappeared.

Anna stared at the ceiling. Why did she see
Alex again? Was her mind telling her that she needed to be honest
before she went any further with Hugo? Was she afraid to go deeper
with Hugo? She adored him and the last thing in the world she
wanted to do was hurt him. He meant so much to her.

But last night was a reality check. Even
though she was “Katrina” now, wasn’t she really just pretending?
Hugo thought of her as someone who was abused, and while it was
true, there was so much more than abuse. Once she was freed from
Devin, would she cease to be an Elder-Mistress? Would she just
become Wilhelm’s Mistress? Or would she be free to live her life as
she wanted to? There was only one person that could answer those
questions.

She picked up her phone from the nightstand
and dialed Wilhelm.

“Hello, Anna,” Wilhelm said in an even tone.
He didn’t seem surprised to hear from her.

“Hello, Wilhelm.”

“What can I help you with?”

She hesitated. Did she really want to know
the answer to the questions? She sighed. For Hugo’s sake, yes.
“Once I’m free from Devin...will I be free?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean...like, will I be free to live my
life as I want to, or...will I still be an Elder-Mistress?”

“Ah.” There was a pause, and then a sigh.
“You will still be an Elder-Mistress. Your father gave you to us,
to protect you,
ja
, but that gift cannot be undone. You
will still belong to me.”

Anna swallowed several times. “So...I’ll
never be free?” she whispered.

“
Nein,
Anna. I am sorry.”

“Oh.”

“My son is not a cruel Master,
Liebling
,” he added softly. “I think you will be happy
when all is said and done.”

Anna tried to smile through her tears.
“Yes...I know.” Kurt was a good man. He loved her. She loved him.
“I’m sorry for how I spoke to you, Wilhelm.”

“Thank you for saying that, Anna. I know I
hurt you terribly by not being there for you. I am truly sorry for
that.”

“I wish you were going to be here
tonight.”

“I wish I could as well. I had been planning
on coming and surprising you, but with what happened with Jack...it
is too risky.”

“I understand.” And she did. She knew that he
would be here if he could. “Well, I need to get back to the
theater. Thank you for answering my questions.”

“Anytime,
Liebling
,” he said
tenderly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

She ended the call and put the phone down on
her bed. Now she just had to figure out how to tell Hugo.

Anna ate dinner and then went back to the
theater. She wasn’t sure where Aaron was, but he wasn’t dancing
tonight, so he’d maybe gone out. Hugo wasn’t in his dressing room
so she went to hers and began breaking in her pointe shoes. He came
by later and they chatted for a while.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

“Yeah. I mean, a little. I’m feeling nervous
now, but I know once I’m on stage I’ll be fine.” She grinned. “It’s
weird, but it works for me.”

Hugo laughed. “I understand. It doesn’t
happen to me all the time, but I’ve had that before.”

“Do you get nervous?”

“Yeah. Sometimes. I’m a little nervous about
next Thursday.”

“It’s a fantastic ballet, Hugo. I’m honored
you’re having me dance with you.”

“You help make it great, Kittycat. It
wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Anna blushed. She had decided she would talk
to him after the performance tonight and was thankful he was being
sweet and kind as usual, but not as touchy-feely as she had
expected, considering they were planning on having sex tonight. But
she didn’t know if that would still happen. She looked up at him
and gave him an adoring smile. She truly cared for him and wished
things were different. The story of her life. But at least this
time she didn’t have to worry about him getting killed.

He left a bit later to get ready for the
show.
Firebird
wasn’t until after intermission, so she had
a while to wait, although she wanted to watch him dance from the
wings. After her hair and complicated makeup were done, she
stretched for a bit until she heard the music beginning. She
wandered out to the wings and saw Hugo doing some last minutes
stretches. He grinned when he saw her.

“Hi, Kittycat,” he said walking over to
her.

“I wanted to see you dance since I missed it
last night.” She chewed the inside of her lip. “Is that okay?”

“Of course. I’m glad to have you in the wings
for me.”

She grinned and then he winked at her. “See
you soon.”

Anna watched, enthralled, at the dancing. She
loved watching it as much as she loved doing it, and before she
realized it, Hugo was taking his bows with the other dancers and
Anna was clapping hard for him.

“You were wonderful,” she beamed as he walked
to her.

“Thanks,” he grinned. He kissed her cheek
lightly, to keep her makeup intact.

The other ballets flew by as well, then came
intermission and then it was time for Anna to step on stage for the
first time as a City Ballet dancer. And oh, it was exhilarating!
She felt herself transformed into the
Firebird
, flying
across the stage, flitting around as the exotic bird, and saving
the Prince.

When she ‘flitted’ off stage for the last
time, Hugo crushed her in an embrace. “You were amazing!” he
whispered in her ear.

She looked up at him. “Really?”

“Yes, Kittycat,” he said, stroking her upper
arm. He looked up as the applause began and smiled. “I bet that’s
for you.”

Anna shook her head, and held his hand until
it was time for her to take her bow.

Dave came and grinned at Hugo. “Can I take
her?” he laughed.

“Of course,” he laughed.

Anna was nervous for the two seconds it took
her to get from Hugo’s embrace to the side of the stage, but when
she and Dave walked on stage the applause became louder, and even
included some shouts. She blushed and made a low, humble curtsy.
She glanced back at Hugo in the wings, who had been joined by
Vincent and they both beamed at her. The audience stood and Anna
grinned at Dave.

Several minutes later, when the applause had
finally died down, the curtain closed for the last time and Vincent
rushed over to her. “Fantastic job, Katrina,” he said, hugging
her.

There were hugs and kisses and
congratulations all around and then Anna was finally able to head
back to her dressing room to change and wash her face.

She tried not to think about what she had to
say to Hugo. Now that the performance was over, her nerves were
kicking in, though.

Hugo knocked a few minutes later. “You
ready?”

Anna smiled. “Yeah.” She picked up her bag
and took his outstretched hand.

They were quiet as they walked the block to
Hugo’s condo. She’d been here just a few times. Just a little one
bedroom with a balcony and a beautiful view of Lincoln Center.

“Do you want something to drink?” he asked as
he locked the door behind them.

Anna shook her head and looked around. She
had so been looking forward to tonight. Even now her body reacted
to the idea of being with Hugo. But her heart ached and for once,
she would listen to her head and heart instead of her body.

He walked by her and took her hand, leading
her to the couch.
Always the gentleman
, Anna thought to
herself. Of course he wouldn’t take her straight to the bedroom. He
would make sure she was okay with everything before taking the next
step. Especially after last night.

“You’ve been quiet tonight,” he said, still
holding her hand. “Is everything okay?”

She looked at him as she tried to decide how
to begin. Oh, how she wished things were different! “Before
we...progress with...stuff, there’s some things I need to tell
you,” she said softly.

He squeezed her hand and gave her a gentle
smile. “Okay. I’m listening.”

She looked down at their hands, fingers
intertwined. Dark, light, dark, light, dark, light. How could she
have let it go this far? She should have stopped it from the
beginning so that he wouldn’t get hurt.

“Katrina?” he said softly.

She glanced up at him and swallowed. “I...I’m
not who you think I am. Or rather
what
you think I
am.”

His brow twitched, but his gentle expression
remained unchanged.

“I don’t know how to say it....” She paused,
looking at their hands again and then looking up. “There is a man
who decided he wanted me when I was born. I’m...different than most
girls and I have something he wants. He was the one who arranged my
parent’s death and for my guardian to raise me as he did. When I
was twenty, he took me from my guardian and made me his....” She
hesitated. “...his slave.” She paused and looked away. “His sex
slave,” she added softly.

Hugo’s mouth opened in surprise, but he
didn’t say anything. He simply nodded and gave her an encouraging
smile.

“Alex...he...saved me from being totally
taken by him and as a result, I became both of theirs. Alex did it
to keep the other man from gaining complete control over me. He
married me so that he would have an advantage over the other man.
The upper hand, if you will.” She smiled softly. “Alex loved me and
I loved him. So much.” She shrugged slightly. “Alex would have
married me if he hadn’t loved me, but his....” She swallowed. “He
knew everything about me, and still loved me. He could have had any
woman in the world, and he chose me....” She trailed off.

Hugo squeezed her hand gently, encouraging
her to go on.

“When we married...well, De...I mean, the
first man had taken me by force...by unscrupulous means. When Alex
married me, I was given to him as...it should be done. It’s rather
complicated.” She gave Hugo an apologetic look.

“It’s all right, Katrina. You don’t have to
tell me more than you want to.”

“Thanks,” she whispered. Why did he have to
be such a good guy? “So, I was given to Alex in marriage by his
father who is the one who actually legitimately ‘owns’ me, I
suppose is the easiest way to explain it. When Alex died, I
returned to Wilhelm’s care.” She stopped, not knowing what to say
next. After a long pause, she continued. “By me being here,
it...weakens the other man and eventually I will be freed from his
‘ownership’. But not Wilhelm’s. I will belong to him for the rest
of my life.”

“And you’re expected to marry Alex’s
brother.”

Anna’s head snapped up. “How did you know?”
she asked, astonished.

“I know a little bit about how the higher
German families operate, and Aaron told me a little bit about you
last night.”

“I called Wilhelm to ask him if I would ever
be free and he said I wouldn’t.” She blinked. “Wilhelm is a good
man, as is Kurt. I’m not being forced into a horrible marriage.
Kurt had actually asked me to marry him before but...we couldn’t.”
She looked at Hugo with sorrow. “I’m sorry things...got so far. I
suspected that I would have to marry Kurt, but...I like you. A lot.
I suppose because I didn’t know for certain, I didn’t think about
it much. But now that I know for certain....” She shook her head.
“I never wanted to hurt you, Hugo. You are one of the best men I
have ever known. But I had to tell you before we...slept together.”
She blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Hugo was quiet for several minutes, making
Anna nervous, but he deserved her quiet respect.

“If I were a callous man and didn’t care
about the future, I would say ‘fuck it’ and take you into my
bedroom right now. I would stay with you as long as I could have
you and then let you go when it was time.” He paused. “But I’m not
a callous man. When we began getting serious, I started imagining a
future for us.”

Tears burned at Anna’s eyes. She had thought
of a future with him as well.

“I know that, if I did hold on to you, it
would kill me when I had to give you up. I don't know if I
c
ould
let go of you.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she looked
down at her lap. Her chest was tight and she could hardly breathe.
She tried to pull her hand away, but he held her tight.

“Katrina,” he said, lifting her chin with his
hand. “I don’t regret a moment of the time I spent with you. I will
always cherish it. And I will cherish our time together in the
future as well.” He smiled. “I’m not going to stop dancing with
you. And I certainly can’t stop caring about you.”

She let out a choked laugh through her tears.
“I don’t want to stop dancing with you either.”