the Light Of Western Stars (1992) (46 page)

"Now I tax myself, I can't jest decide which was the orfulest time I ever hed," he said, reflectively
.

Here Nels blew forth an immense cloud of smoke, as if he desired to hide himself from sight
.
Monty pondered, and then when the smoke rolled away he turned to Nels
.

"See hyar, old pard, me an' you seen somethin' of each other in the Panhandle, more 'n thirty years ago-"

"Which we didn't," interrupted Nels, bluntly
.
"Shore you can't make me out an ole man
.
"

"Mebbe it wasn't so darn long
.
Anyhow, Nels, you recollect them three hoss-thieves I hung all on one cottonwood-tree, an' likewise thet boo-tiful blond gurl I rescooed from a band of cutthroats who murdered her paw, ole Bill Warren, the buffalo-hunter?Now, which of them two scraps was the turriblest, in your idee?"

"Monty, my memory's shore bad," replied the unimpeachable Nels
.

"Tell us about the beautiful blonde," cried at least three of the ladies
.
Dorothy, who had suffered from nightmare because of a former story of hanging men on trees, had voicelessly appealed to Monty to spare her more of that
.

"All right, we'll hev the blond gurl," said Monty, settling back, "though I ain't thinkin' her story is most turrible of the two, an' it'll rake over tender affections long slumberin' in my breast
.
"

As he paused there came a sharp, rapping sound
.
This appeared to be Nels knocking the ashes out of his pipe on a stump-a true indication of the passing of content from that jealous cowboy
.

"It was down in the Panhandle, 'way over in the west end of thet Comanche huntin'-ground, an' all the redskins an' outlaws in thet country were hidin' in the river-bottoms, an' chasin' some of the last buffalo herds thet hed wintered in there
.
I was a young buck them days, an' purty much of a desperado, I'm thinkin'
.
Though of all the seventeen notches on my gun-an' each notch meant a man killed face to face-there was only one thet I was ashamed of
.
Thet one was fer an express messenger who I hit on the head most unprofessional like, jest because he wouldn't hand over a leetle package
.
I hed the kind of a reputashun thet made all the fellers in saloons smile an' buy drinks
.

"Well, I dropped into a place named Taylor's Bend, an' was peaceful standin' to the bar when three cow-punchers come in, an', me bein' with my hack turned, they didn't recognize me an' got playful
.
I didn't stop drinkin', an' I didn't turn square round; but when I stopped shootin' under my arm the saloon-keeper hed to go over to the sawmill an' fetch a heap of sawdust to cover up what was left of them three cow-punchers, after they was hauled out
.
You see, I was rough them days, an' would shoot ears off an' noses off an' hands off; when in later days I'd jest kill a man quick, same as Wild Bill
.

"News drifts into town thet night thet a gang of cut-throats hed murdered ole Bill Warren an' carried off his gurl
.
I gathers up a few good gun-men, an' we rid out an' down the river-bottom, to an ole log cabin, where the outlaws hed a rondevoo
.
We rid up boldlike, an' made a hell of a racket
.
Then the gang began to throw lead from the cabin, an' we all hunted cover
.
Fightin' went on all night
.
In the mornin' all my outfit was killed but two, an' they was shot up bad
.
We fought all day without eatin' or drinkin', except some whisky I hed, an' at night I was on the job by my lonesome
.

"Bein' bunged up some myself, I laid off an' went down to the river to wash the blood off, tie up my wounds, an' drink a leetle
.
While I was down there along comes one of the cutthroats with a bucket
.
Instead of gettin' water he got lead, an' as be was about to croak he tells me a whole bunch of outlaws was headin' in there, doo to-morrer
.
An' if I wanted to rescoo the gurl I hed to be hurryin'
.
There was five fellers left in the cabin
.

I went hack to the thicket where I hed left my hoss, an' loaded up with two more guns an' another belt, an' busted a fresh box of shells
.
If I recollect proper, I got some cigarettes, too
.
Well, I mozied back to the cabin
.
It was a boo-tiful moonshiny night, an' I wondered if ole Bill's gun was as purty as I'd heerd
.
The grass growed long round the cabin, an' I crawled up to the door without startin' anythin'
.
Then I figgered
.
There was only one door in thet cabin, an' it was black dark inside
.
I jest grabbed open the door an' slipped in quick
.
It worked all right
.
They heerd me, but hedn't been quick enough to ketch me in the light of the door
.
Of course there was some shots, but I ducked too quick, an' changed my position
.

"Ladies an' gentlemen, thet there was some dool by night
.
An' I wasn't often in the place where they shot
.
I was most wonderful patient, an' jest waited until one of them darned ruffians would get so nervous he'd hev to hunt me up
.
When mornin' come there they was all piled up on the floor, all shot to pieces
.
I found the gurl
.
Purty!Say, she was boo-tiful
.
We went down to the river, where she begun to bathe my wounds
.
I'd collected a dozen more or so, an' the sight of tears in her lovely eyes, an' my blood a-stainin' of her little hands, jest nat'rally wakened a trembly spell in my heart
.
I seen she was took the same way, an' thet settled it
.

"We was comin' up from the river, an' I hed jest straddled my hoss, with the gurl behind, when we run right into thet cutthroat gang thet was doo about then
.
Bein' some handicapped, I couldn't drop more 'n one gun-round of them, an' then I hed to slope
.
The whole gang follered me, an' some miles out chased me over a ridge right into a big herd of buffalo
.
Before I knowed what was what thet herd broke into a stampede, with me in the middle
.
Purty soon the buffalo closed in tight
.
I knowed I was in some peril then
.
But the gurl trusted me somethin' pitiful
.
I seen again thet she hed fell in love with me
.
I could tell from the way she hugged me an' yelled
.
Before long I was some put to it to keep my boss on his feet
.
Far as I could see was dusty, black, bobbin', shaggy humps
.
A huge cloud of dust went along over our heads
.
The roar of tramplin' hoofs was turrible
.
My hoss weakened, went down, an' was carried along a leetle while I slipped off with the gurl on to the backs of the buffalo
.

"Ladies, I ain't denyin' that then Monty Price was some scairt
.
Fust time in my life!But the trustin' face of thet boo-tiful gurl, as she lay in my arms an' hugged me an' yelled, made my spirit leap like a shootin' star
.
I just began to jump from buffalo to buffalo
.
I must hev jumped a mile of them bobbin' backs before I come to open places
.
An' here's where I performed the greatest stunts of my life
.
I hed on my big spurs, an' I jest sit down an' rid an' spurred till thet pertickler buffalo I was on got near another, an' then I'd flop over
.
Thusly I got to the edge of the herd, tumbled off'n the last one, an' rescooed the gurl
.

"Well, as my memory takes me back, thet was a most affectin' walk home to the little town where she lived
.
But she wasn't troo to me, an' married another feller
.
I was too much a sport to kill him
.
But thet low-down trick rankled in my breast
.
Gurls is strange
.
I've never stopped wonderin' how any gurl who has been hugged an' kissed by one man could marry another
.
But matoor experience teaches me thet sich is the case
.
"

The cowboys roared; Helen and Mrs
.
Beck and Edith laughed till they cried; Madeline found repression absolutely impossible; Dorothy sat hugging her knees, her horror at the story no greater than at Monty's unmistakable reference to her and to the fickleness of women; and Castleton for the first time appeared to be moved out of his imperturbability, though not in any sense by humor
.
Indeed, when he came to notice it, he was dumfounded by the mirth
.

"By Jove! you Americans are an extraordinary people," he said
.
"I don't see anything blooming funny in Mr
.
Price's story of his adventure
.
By Jove! that was a bally warm occasion
.
Mr
.
Price, when you speak of being frightened for the only time in your life, I appreciate what you mean
.
I have experienced that
.
I was frightened once
.
"

"Dook, I wouldn't hev thought it of you," replied Monty
.
"I'm sure tolerable curious to hear about it
.
"

Madeline and her friends dared not break the spell, for fear that the Englishman might hold to his usual modest reticence
.
He had explored in Brazil, seen service in the Boer War, hunted in India and Africa-matters of experience of which he never spoke
.
Upon this occasion, however, evidently taking Monty's recital word for word as literal truth, and excited by it into a Homeric mood, he might tell a story
.
The cowboys almost fell upon their knees in their importunity
.
There was a suppressed eagerness in their solicitations, a hint of something that meant more than desire, great as it was, to hear a story told by an English lord
.
Madeline divined instantly that the cowboys had suddenly fancied that Castleton was not the dense and easily fooled person they had made such game of; that he had played his part well; that he was having fun at their expense; that he meant to tell a story, a lie which would simply dwarf Monty's
.
Nels's keen, bright expectation suggested how he would welcome the joke turned upon Monty
.
The slow closing of Monty's cavernous smile, the gradual sinking of his proud bearing, the doubt with which he began to regard Castleton-these were proofs of his fears
.

"I have faced charging tigers and elephants in India, and charging rhinos and lions in Africa," began Castleton, his quick and fluent speech so different from the drawl of his ordinary conversation; "but I never was frightened but once
.
It will not do to hunt those wild beasts if you are easily balled up
.
This adventure I have in mind happened in British East Africa, in Uganda
.
I was out with safari, and we were in a native district much infested by man-eating lions
.
Perhaps I may as well state that man-eaters are very different from ordinary lions
.
They are always matured beasts, and sometimes-indeed, mostly-are old
.
They become man-eaters most likely by accident or necessity
.
When old they find it more difficult to make a kill, being slower, probably, and with poorer teeth
.
Driven by hunger, they stalk and kill a native, and, once having tasted human blood, they want no other
.
They become absolutely fearless and terrible in their attacks
.

"The natives of this village near where we camped were in a terrorized state owing to depredations of two or more man-eaters
.
The night of our arrival a lion leaped a stockade fence, seized a native from among others sitting round a fire, and leaped out again, carrying the screaming fellow away into the darkness
.
I determined to kill these lions, and made a permanent camp in the village for that purpose
.
By day I sent beaters into the brush and rocks of the river-valley, and by night I watched
.
Every night the lions visited us, but I did not see one
.
I discovered that when they roared around the camp they were not so liable to attack as when they were silent
.
It was indeed remarkable how silently they could stalk a man
.
They could creep through a thicket so dense you would not believe a rabbit could get through, and do it without the slightest sound
.
Then, when ready to charge, they did so with terrible onslaught and roar
.
They leaped right into a circle of fires, tore down huts, even dragged natives from the low trees
.
There was no way to tell at which point they would make an attack
.