The Loneliest Alpha (The MacKellen Alphas) (32 page)

“Thanks
for that, but I already feel safe here.”

His
muscles tensed from his neck to his ankles. “You shouldn’t. After everything
that’s happened? Two dead kids, a car wreck, the poisoning…it’s not safe for
you here,” he said, lost in his thoughts.

Not
liking the grim mood, she worked her way down to his heel, but at the first
touch his whole leg jumped. “Not the feet.”

She
grinned and just barely ran the pad of her finger across his foot. “You’re not
ticklish are you, Gavin MacKellen?”

A
feral growl reached her ears. “Try it and find out what happens.”

She
bit at her bottom lip as she contemplated how badly he needed a tickling.

“Baby,
you don’t want to do that,” he warned.

What
was it about being told not to do something that just made you want to do it so
much more?

She
pointed a finger then slowly moved it toward his foot. His head turned to watch
her like a hawk, his back muscles tense and ready to spring. Her pulse leapt
and body flushed with excitement.

“Last
warning, sweetheart.”

Slowly,
she lowered her finger and wiggled it around on his foot.

His
leg jumped at her touch and the next thing she knew, he had her yanked up
beneath him, his hard body covering hers.

All
the jokes and laughter faded away in a heartbeat.

A
solid thump thudded in her chest, beating against his. Their eyes locked as
something that could only be described as a ‘moment’ paused time. They were two
people wrapped around each other, not in the throes of passion, but in
something sweeter and deeper. Something intangible that could not be explained
but only felt between them.

His
eyes dipped to her mouth and her pulse skyrocketed.

That
beautiful scarred face, the damaged voice, his kindness and humor, all of it
made up this man who looked at her in such a way that said she mattered greatly
to him. All of it made up the man she held in her arms and waited breathlessly
to kiss her. It left her realizing how far she’d come to feel what she felt
now, when he was a stranger not so long ago.

“I—”
he began. The words faltered. His eyes shuttered and the moment started to
vanish like sand down an hourglass.

“You
what?”

Many
sentences started with the word ‘I’. But only so many sentences began like that
during moments like this one. Alicia desperately wanted to know what the rest
of those words were and if they were the life changing ones she ached to hear.
Yes, she realized, her heart and mind wanted to hear those words with something
close to longing.

He
shook his head, eyes shutting down, further killing the moment. “No, it’s
nothing.”

Desperate,
she cupped his cheeks. “Please, tell me.”

He
searched her eyes for long seconds that felt like eons and then smiled wryly,
shaking his head. “It’s nothing.”

A
soft kiss to her lips and a moment later he rolled off her.

That
was it. Her disappointment couldn’t be described in words. A mixture of
emotions boiled inside her. Arousal and frustration, heartache and yearning,
and most of all…something sweet and deep and much more difficult to explain.

They
lay like that, each on one side of the bed, not facing each other. Both looking
away like two lost lovers at the end of a dead relationship. Only this was the
beginning of one and it shouldn’t be like this. It should be all flowers and
roses and happiness, shouldn’t it? They should be laughing and making love
right now, not feeling deep longings with a touch of pain.

Alicia
had loved before so she knew firsthand that love could hurt. It could cut deep
and leave scars that never healed.

She
faced him, one arm curled under her cheek. “I’m gonna tell you a story.”

His
scarred cheek turned on the pillow to watch her.

And
that’s when she told him her story.

* * * * *

“Things
ended with Robert six months ago. You might remember when you asked me who I’d
been with. Yeah, that was him. It’s your typical relationship story. Things
started off great, then when I got to know him better, I didn’t like those
changes. He was kind of an…asshole.”

Gavin
watched her carefully, intently absorbing her story as if he cared. Knowing
Gavin, he probably did.

She
didn’t like this. She never had been one to talk about herself, but she could
see now it was necessary, one roadblock to overcome that explained who she was
and how she felt about things. How she felt about him.

“Of
course, I didn’t notice that asshole-ishness at first. It took more than five
months to realize that. I did notice his good looks, his charm, his nice
clothes, and a dozen other little things I shouldn’t have cared about but did.”

Gavin
looked grim. “What did he do to you?”

She
rolled her eyes. “I don’t even know if it was like that. I’m not perfect and I’m
sure I messed up and that drove him nuts. But what I do know is after I ended
things, his asshole attitude came into full force. Robert is not someone who
likes to be dumped, no matter how kindly it was done. See, we were like the
celebrity pack couple. I didn’t want to be, but everyone knew us, said we
looked so great together. They all expected us to get mated, have babies and
the whole thing.”

“You
didn’t want what with him?”

She
laughed. “It never even crossed my mind, to be honest. We were just dating.
That’s how I saw it. I think he saw it that way too.”

“Why
break up with him then?”

She
thought back to the terrible fights that lead to condescension and contempt.
The name-calling, the derision at her work. Or ‘hobby’ as he liked to refer to
it. “He was always trying to fix me or change me. He didn’t like my job. Or I
should say, he didn’t think of what I do as work. That led to lots of fights.
It made me feel defensive all the time, maybe when he wasn’t actually attacking
me and it just put me on edge. I never felt safe or secure with him. Not like…”
her voice trailed off as the thought struck her like a lightning bolt. Never
one to shy away, she looked him in the eyes and said, “Not like with you.”

And
what was his response? Only to throw his arm around her waist and pull her in
close. Such a good response.

“Tell
me more. I like hearing about you.”

Laughing
she said, “You know you should never give a woman that kind of opening or we’ll
be here for hours as I dish all about my best friends and their latest gossip,
what color I plan to paint my toenails, what I want to eat for lunch tomorrow…”

His
laughter joined hers. “Okay, keep to the story, sweetheart.”

“Thanks,
I will.” She threaded their fingers together, smiling. “So eventually I got
tired of it all and broke up with him. As I said, that’s when things got really
bad. See, I got kind of depressed from it and took to working in my apartment.
While I did that, he went out with his buddies in the pack and spread some
nasty lies about me sleeping around on him. Before I knew it, I was branded a
celebrity tramp by the pack.”

“Give
me the word and I’ll take care of him for you.”

“What?”
she asked, startled. “No way. He’s not even worth your time. Besides, he moved
away so I got stuck with all the shame and questions about cheating. See, they
all thought I was some kind of bad guy who cheated on him. According to him, he
found out about it and dumped me and left the pack because he couldn’t stand to
be near me. I stopped trying to change people’s minds about me months ago. Not
everyone believes his side, or at least if they do, then they’re still nice to
me. But the lie is still there, coloring people’s perception of me.”

“I
still think he deserves a good old-fashioned beating. Teach him a lesson and
make him tell the pack the truth.”

A
shiver coursed over her. “Screw that; I don’t want to see his face again or—”
She froze at where her thoughts were leading her.
Or go back to that pack.
Holy
hell, she was permanently picturing her future here in the MacKellen pack.

He
nudged her. “Or what?”

Realizing
this was her chance to learn what he’d meant before with his unfinished ‘I’
sentence, she rolled on top of him. A flash of heat widened his eyes as he
wrapped his arms around her. She might be wearing clothes, but she could still
feel the powerful strength in his hard, healthy body.

“Tell
me what you were going to say before.”

His
eyes grew guarded. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

She
cocked a brow. “Bullshit, Gavin MacKellen. You know exactly what I’m talking
about. Just a little while ago you said, and I quote, “I”. I want you to finish
what you were saying.”

“I
think you’re beautiful.”

Her
eyes narrowed. “That wasn’t what you were going to say and you know it. Now you
aren’t a liar, Gavin; don’t start on me now.” Straddling his body, she got low
in his face.

He
shook his head. “Don’t remember what I was gonna say, beautiful.” His eyes were
serious, a frown curled at the corner of his mouth. He really wasn’t going to
tell her.

Why
did that break her heart?

Swallowing
hard, she looked him in those pretty eyes and told him, “Well if only one of us
is going to be honest, then I’ll be. What I was saying before was that I don’t
want to go back, Gavin. I don’t.” Her voice was a whisper as his body stilled. “I
don’t want to go back because everything I have is right here, not there.”

For
a long moment all they did was stare at each other. She opened her heart to him
and bared it with her eyes, letting them show him what she felt.

And
then something possessive began to glow in his eyes. At the same time, he
wrapped her in his arms and turned them over. Her legs spread for him, closing
around his hips, entwining. The hard column of his cock stamped his mark on her
sex.

He
bit her bottom lip and tugged it on a low growl. “You wanna stay here with me,
sweetheart?” His hips pumped in a rhythm he might not even be aware he was
doing. It made her thighs clench and her sex ache.

“Y-yes,
I do,” she said, breathlessly. She had only seen a glimpse of this side of him
a few times. In the hallway when he ordered her to turn around, in the kitchen
when he’d gone between her legs, in the shower, when she’d fisted his cock, and
now again as he mounted her.

One
hand ran up her neck and threaded fingers into her hair, fisting and locking
her in place. Her heartbeat stuttered like a broken record. This was the alpha,
the man in charge and it made her insides melt.

He
canted his head and then his lips slanted over hers, barely touching, just
teasing as he grazed her mouth over and again. Wetness, just a touch, came as
he licked at the seam of her lips. His fist tugged making her hair pull, firing
up pulses that swept straight to her core. Her lips puckered to reach his,
aching for them to slam against each other, but he leaned back.

“You
tease,” she said, a shaky whisper.

Stormy
eyes scoured over her face, gauging the arousal that flushed her, dilated her
eyes, made her breath tremble. He saw all of it and his hips jerked.

“Tease?”
His head dipped to her ear where he bit the lobe, tugging it before whispering
in that warped voice, “Sweetheart, I’m gonna fuck you till you can’t see
straight.”

Chaotic.
Her nerves went wild, legs twitching to lock around his, hips pumping against
his rock-hard shaft. “Please.”

He
pumped his hips against her cleft as he trailed hot, open-mouthed kisses down
her throat and around to the other side, consuming her. “Please? You don’t
gotta beg me. I’ll give you anything you need.”

Need…what
she needed right now was already in her arms. She ran her hands up his smooth
back and chuckled at the oil that slickened her hands. When she grabbed onto
his muscles this time it wasn’t to ease pain but to simply hold on to something
as his teeth sank into her neck, marking her.

“Gavin.”
Her breathless moan was met by a low groan as he licked at the spot he bit.

“Been
wanting to be with you since the moment I saw you.”

Suddenly
he sat up with those hips pressed tight against her and he grabbed her hips in
a sure grasp pulling her hot center tighter against his cock. She watched his
face as he watched his hips grind against her. She could see the flare of heat
in his eyes, the smoldering possessiveness that roared at their bodies touch.

“Gotta
get these clothes off you. Need to feel your skin.”

With
a tug, he opened the button to her jeans sending butterflies squirming in her
belly. He tugged the zipper and then her jeans which were no match for him as
he heaved them down and off. Her thick socks went next, followed by her shirt,
leaving her in nothing more than one of her matching bra and panty sets. This
one was white hip-hugging lace shorts with a white camisole. Great for wearing
under heavier clothes and comfortable enough to sleep in.