The Lonely Girl (17 page)

“That’s no excuse, Alec and you know it.” Jake growled.
Wow, I’ve never seen Jake mad, but he’s definitely pissed off.

“You’re right but all that matters is what Becca thinks.”

I shake my head. I know what I’m going to say is going to cause serious issues, but I need them to know this is what’s coming. “I can’t do this again. I won’t be with someone who scares me and that scared me. If I end things I’m moving out alone.” I hear them both gasp. Jake is shaking his head.

“No way, Becca. If you want to move out fine but myself or your brother is going with you. Better
yet, we could just make him leave.”

I hear
Alec clear his throat. “It won’t come to that, Becca he loves you. I know he does. He’s just pissed. Let him cool off.”

I nod. “I will let him cool down but love isn’t always enough. I’ve learned that the hard way. I won’t ask him to leave but I will. So be prepared. I’ll go back to the dorms or get my own place. I won’t ruin the friendship the three of you have and there will be no arguments about this, understand.”

My brother nods but looks saddened by my firm answer. “Jake, I can take over and spend the night with Becca if you want.” I tense at this. I still have nightmares with my brother they’re not as bad, but they’re still there.

“Not a chance. We both know she sleeps better with me anyway. This was our routine before we moved in with you guys, might as well keep it now.” My brother nods and says goodnight.

As soon as the door closes Jake lifts me and looks me in the eye. “Don’t for one second think you’re leaving and going on your own. I go where you go, always. If you have to move out I’ll understand, Beckers, but I won’t let you go alone. I won’t let my lonely girl be lonely ever again.”

I sigh and lean back down on his chest. “I know, Jake. I love you too.” With that I fall asleep feeling more comfort and safety having Jake with me than anyone else in the world. Why? Because I know love with Jake is truly unconditional. He will always be my best friend.

******************************************

Keegan never came home the next day. Alec sent him a message asking if he was alive. His reply was ‘Yes’. My brother asked when he’d be back and ‘
When I feel like it’
was his answer. Got to say that one hurt like a bitch. I told my brother it was fine when he offered to go find him and drag his ass home. I told him no and that I still didn’t know what to say, or if I wanted him to come back home. Jake was by my side constantly. He worried I was internalizing. When he asked me if I was, I laughed at him and told him to get his head out of a psychology book. I have been thinking a lot about us. I understand his side. However, poorly, he has explained it. He was crude and hurtful, but I understand his pain. That doesn’t change my life though. I wish it could change my baggage, but I just can’t. He can either work with me on this, or we will end up falling apart. The choice is his for now. I will do whatever it takes to be with Keegan.

I haven’t seen Keegan in four days. It’s the first day back at school, and he never came home. I guess he needed more time to cool off
than I did, but I would have, at least, come home. I’ve continued staying in Jake’s room. I am getting ready in the bathroom, and Jake is still sleeping. I go in to wake him, and I see our portrait on the wall. It’s beautiful. The colour contrast makes it extraordinary. I might be a bit biased as I did create it, but I love it.  I climb in bed right next to Jake. “Wake up, Jakey. It’s a whole new semester.”

He opens one eye and just shakes his head. I smack him and he laughs. “Yay.” I laugh at his attempt.

“Much better now let’s get up and go or we will be late.” Jake jumps out of bed and takes off to the bathroom. I head to the kitchen to get us some breakfast and its back to the Jake and Becca routine.

When we get to school, we head our separate ways to class
. We argued about this the whole way to class. I told him I was just going to go to my class two halls over, what’s the worst that could happen? Man, I wish I had never said that. As I turn the corner, I smack right into a solid body. “Sorry.” I look up, and Keegan is staring right at me. I shift sideways and start to walk away.

“Becca
, wait.” I turn slightly and just stare at him.

“Where have you been
, Keegan?” His eyes dart everywhere except to my eyes.
Oh Keegan, what did you do?

“I got to get to class. Sar... Someone is saving me a seat.” I just gawk at him as he turns and takes off.

What the hell was that? Sarah! He was going to say Sarah! That bitch, she knows we’re together well, maybe ‘were’ is the better answer. I want to run and find Jake, but hell if I’m going to let Keegan Keller ruin my first day of school.

When I finally get to lunch, I head to the café. I quickly see the guys sitting at the regular table, including Keegan with Sarah at his side. What in the world is going on? Why is she at the table? I look around for someone I know other than them
. When I see Kristy, I decide to go sit with her. I wave and say hello, that’s when I notice Drake is sitting with her. It’s too late now to turn away, so I put my big girl panties on and put the biggest smile I can on. “Hey Drake. How’s practice going?”

He turns and is shocked to see me sitting next to him. “Great, Becca. How was your first day back?” I return with the same answer as he gave me.

“Becca, I miss you in the dorms,” Kristy comments.

I laugh. “
Well, don’t speak too soon I might be moving back in.” Her mouth drops open.

“Trouble in paradise?” Drake has a huge grin on his face.

“Well, not that it’s any of your concern, but I don’t know if moving in with my brother and Keegan is going to work. Keegan is being an ass.” How did I really just say that to Drake? His mouth drops open too, so I assume he wasn’t expecting my honesty.

“Well
, Becca, I always said you deserved to be something more than just another one of his locks.” I cringe. I hate that he was a player and with Sarah by him, he might still be.

“One, I’ve never been unlocked by Keegan and two, why do you hate him so much?” I’ve even further surprised him.

“Maybe because my girlfriend of a year sent me a text saying we were done, then became another one of his locks.” Now I’m the one that’s shocked.

“Did he know you two were an item?”

He nods. “He knew I planned to ask her to marry me the next month.”

God, what
the hell Keegan? I turn to check the table, and I see Keegan staring at me. His eyes are so dark and hateful. Well, that serves him right for sitting with Sarah, who by the way is just beaming with joy. I see him elbow Jake, who looks up and sees me. I quickly look away. “Drake I’m sorry he’s such an ass.”

A minute later I see a tray next to mine. “Can I sit here?” I look up into Jake’s eyes and nod. They all say their hello
’s and Kristy makes my life a living hell.

“
Jake, are you staying in the house or are you coming back to the dorms too?” I give Kristy a quick glare, saying what the hell? Jake turns and gives me a hurt look. Just what I need more men problems.

“If Becca goes back so do I.” I laugh.

Jake leans into my ear. “Why are you sitting here and we are talking about this dorm shit later.”

I give him a glare that says don’t push me and he softens. “Because Sarah, the ho, is over there and I’d rather not catch something.” Kristy breaks out in laughter followed by Drake.

“Well, Becca, I didn’t know you had a bad side, remind me not to get on it.” Drake is just shaking his head. “Man, I’d hate to be Keegan later. Go easy on him.” I laugh because that’s not going to happen.

“The easy part will be the break up if he keeps talking to that bitch.”

Jake is just staring at me like I’ve completely lost my mind while Drake and Kristy are having a laughing fit. I just smile and wink at Jake, which makes him chuckle.

After the rest of my classes, I head out to the parking lot, and Jake is waiting for me. He’s not going to be happy with the envelope I’m holding. He gives me a hug and looks at me puzzled. “What’s wrong?” I hand him the envelope, and he opens it. “Becca, what did you do?” I see the hurt in his eyes.

“Well, I registered to get my old dorm back since it’s day one of the semester and it hasn’t been taken yet. The other form is for me to transfer to another university in September.” His mouth drops open. He grabs me and starts heading back to the school. “What are you doing Jake? I already paid it can’t be undone.” He just shakes his head and keeps pulling me across the path.

“If you’re getting your dorm back so am I. If you’re leaving so do I, Becca. When will you get it that I go where you go.” I’m speechless. I know he’s my best friend and everything. I expected the
dorm thing, but not the new university.

Jake was completely serious and got all the paperwork. He made me promise not to hand it in without him. He also got his old dorm
back, after which he told me I get the joy of telling my brother about it. I also have to tell my brother, I’m thinking about transferring schools. I only came here for Alec, and I won’t ruin his schooling and his social life for a relationship. I won’t put him in the middle, so I will just leave. When we get back to the house, my brother is there and sitting on the couch next to Keegan. I stop immediately and turn around smacking right into Jake’s hard chest.

“I’m here. You’re fine, you have to do this.”

I sigh and turn around. “I have an announcement.” They both look at me stunned. “I got my dorm back. I will keep my room here but will stay there as well.” They both bolt up from the couch. I put my hand up to stop them. “I’m not done. Also I have gotten the paperwork to transfer to another school starting in September if I choose to. I will not discuss this. It’s my life!” I go to run away, but Jake holds me in place.

“I go where she goes, guys. I got my dorm back
too, and I will leave the team to follow Becca to another university.” They both look pale and speechless. Alec turns and smacks Keegan on the back of the head.

“You better fix this, Key or so help me God, I will kick your ass all over this house.”
Alec storms off and slams his door.

I look up to
Jake, who has his hands on my shoulder. “Well, that went well.”

Keegan makes a noise to get our attention. “Jake, can I talk to Becca for a minute?”

I shake my head. “I will talk to you in a minute. I need to talk to my brother first.”

I walk right into my brother’s room and see him slum
ped on his bed. He looks up at me, and I can see he’s struggling with what I’ve told him.

“Becca, you can’t be serious? You can’t leave school because of a dumbass.”

I sigh, he so doesn’t get this. “Alec, just listen, okay?” He nods. “I’m not leaving because of a guy. I’m leaving because I won’t keep you in the middle. You and Keegan have been friends for over two years. I should have never gotten involved and I should have never agreed to move in. It’s not just about Keegan. I only have you and your friends here. You haven’t let me make my own. I’m surrounded by you three all the time. How am I supposed to move on if I only have the same friends as Keegan? How am I supposed to be my own person with you at my back? I love you but if this thing with Keegan doesn’t work you’re going to be even worse with the protective big brother thing. I only came here for you because I love you. I never planned to stay when you graduated anyway.

“
Jake will be with me so I won’t be alone. He’s just as bad as you are with protecting me. The dorm thing well I’m not giving up my room here yet and neither is Jake. I would keep it even if I wasn’t at this school so I can visit. I need some time to deal with the chaos that is my life. I will be staying in my dorm for a while. Jake will be there too, so you don’t have to worry about me okay?”

He nods and looks at
me, his eyes are glassy. “I love you, Becca. I will let you move back to the dorms part time, but if you leave Lakehead so do I. I only came because this was our plan. My plan was to be where you were.” I hug my brother. He is right. Lakehead was the school I picked. I had forgotten all about that day years before sitting there and going through the university catalogs.

After a few more minutes with my brother, I go to deal with my ‘boyfriend.’ I find Keegan pacing in the living room, and I see Jake’s door is slightly open. I know he’s listening to make sure I’m okay and to be
honest, I’m okay with that.

“Keegan
, sit down.” He walks to the couch and sits. I know he’s expecting me to sit next to him, so I take a seat on the chair across from him. I see the damage this move as made to him, but I need a clear head.

“Becca, I’m sorry I had too much to drink and I was upset because I knew I’d pushed you. I was pissed with myself and even angrier when you let Jake in. I’m your boyfriend, Becca.”

I shake my head. “That’s yet to be determined.” I see the harm my words have caused. He goes to get up, and I shake my head.

He sits back down and looks up
into my eyes. “Babe, I’m sorry.”

I can’t take this anymore. “Where did you stay, Keegan?” He pales and looks like he’s going to be sick, which answers my question. “You stayed with her didn’t you? DIDN”T YOU?” He nods, and I swear I taste vomit. How could he when he knows how I feel about her? He saw me throw her out on her bare ass when I caught them together right before we got together.