The Lonely Hearts Club (13 page)

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"I know some people will think that I'm being pessimistic -- but seriously, let's examine the male population of McKinley, shall we?" Laughter filled the room. "It's not like we have a huge wealth of decent guys to choose from!"

A few people cheered, "Hear! Hear!"

"Now, I'm not saying that we have to give up guys for the rest of our lives. I'm not that crazy. But I feel that we shouldn't settle, that I want to spend the last two years at McKinley having fun with my friends. Guys can only mess with that.

"If you look around you, you'll see that there is an amazing group of people here tonight, a perfect support system. We can do anything if we stick together. We just have to believe in ourselves. And we deserve whatever we want. if one of us needs help with a test, we should be there for that person. if one of us wants to pursue our dreams, no matter what anybody else seems to think of it" -- I winked at Diane -- "we will be there for that person.

"So all we're asking is that members put themselves and their friends before some guy. Every Saturday night, we have a standing date with one another. We need to be here for one another to remind ourselves how special we are.

"And the best part? We don't have to put up with any more crap from guys!"

Amy stood up. "to Penny!"

"No," I protested. "This isn't about me, it's about us. To The Lonely Hearts Club!"

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The room went up in loud cheers. Diane went over to the stereo and put on the only guys allowed at the meeting: the Beatles.

"You know, Penny" Diane said to me over the music. "Had I known that getting dumped would be such a positive influence on everyone else, I would've had Ryan dump me a long time ago."

I started laughing. I had no idea if it was the high I was on from the Club, the music, or just Diane's sense of humor, but for some reason that was the funniest thing I had ever heard.

"What are you two dying over?" Tracy asked, rocking her hips back and forth to the music. She smacked her hips into mine, and I almost fell over. "Do you have any idea what you've started, Miss Penny Lane? We've single-handedly changed the social structure at McKinley High. You know what this means?"

I'd never thought about it that way. "What?"

She smiled. "Well, if we thought guys were jerks before this, you can guarantee they will be staying miles away from us now."

The three of us looked at each other before we started laughing again.

If this was what it was going to belike being single for the rest of my high school existence, I wasn't going to mind at all.

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chapter twenty

"HEY, PENNY -- IT'S RYAN ."

I stared at the number on my phone -- why was Ryan calling me? it was Tuesday night, and I'd just seen him at school a few hours before. the fact that we'd been having surface-level conversations ever since the dance made it even stranger to hear his voice now,

"Hello? Penny?"

Speak! Say something.

"Ah, yeah -- hey, Ryan, what's up?"

"Not much. I had a question about History. I think I wrote down the wrong chapter we were supposed to read. is it chapter twelve?"

"Hold on, let me check. ..." I had to run over to my desk to grab my book.

"Crap" A surge of pain shot up my left toe as it slammed into the leg of my chair. This was just great. "Yep, chapter twelve."

There was a pause on the other end of the phone. "Are you okay?"

Apparently I was not okay. "Yeah, I'm fine -- stubbed my toe. ..."

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"Okay, thanks, Penny." Another long pause. "Actually there's something else I wanted to ask. . . . Ah, my parents got tickets to see this Beatles tribute band at the Civic Center in a few weeks, but realized they have to leave town early to attend this wedding, so they were going to see if any of their friends wanted them, but I thought it would be kinda fun to go to . . . if you're interested."

Ryan was talking really fast for him, so it took me a second to comprehend what he was asking.

He wasn't asking me on a date, was he?

Of course he wasn't. that was stupid. He was dating that short, curly-haired thing.

I was his friend. His Beatles-named friend, no less. it made sense for him to ask me out on a non-date to see a Beatles-ish band.

"Hello? Penny?"

Oops.

"Um, sounds great,"

I could still be friends with guys. Ryan and I had always been friends, and there was no way he would see me as anything else. What had he said at Paul's party? "I'd never do anything with her."

"Awesome," he said now. "Diane told me your parents are against tribute bands or something, but she thought you might get a kick out of it."

Diane knew! Why hadn't she given me a heads-up that Ryan was going to ask me .. on ... some sort of social outing.

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I cleared my throat. "I think it'd be fun. thanks for thinking of me."

"Of course! I think it'd be cool to go to a tribute band with none other than Penny Lane herself."

Ugh.

"So I guess we can figure out the details later, but I figure we can head into the city early and grab a bite before the show. Does that sound okay?"

"that sounds great, Ryan. See you tomorrow."

I hung up the phone and just stared at it.

then it hit me, I had agreed to go to a Beatles tribute band concert with Ryan Bauer. Now I had to tell the one person who was going to absolutely hate this idea.

"Oh, Penny Lane, no, no, no. I'm so disappointed in you. How could you?"

This was going to be harder than I thought.

I sat down at our table. "Come on, Mom, it's not that big of a deal."

Mom set her coffee mug down and looked at me like I had a second head. "Penny Lane, I just thought your father and I raised you better than to go to some complete rip-off band. it's just.... Dave, help me out!"

Dad stopped hiding behind his paper and set it down. "Now, Becky, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. At least she's interested in learning about her heritage. And I think we should trust Penny Lane to know that what she

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will be hearing is nothing compared to the real thing. Remember how embarrassed she was with the massacre at Lucy's graduation?"

Yes, I'd been mortified at Lucy's graduation, but unfortunately it was my parents who'd been the weapons of mass humiliation. Some poor graduate sang a not very flattering rendition of "Yesterday" and my parents almost walked out of the auditorium. they even refused to clap. it wouldn't have been so bad if the guys parents hadn't been sitting right next to us, recording the whole thing. I'm sure they appreciated watching the video with my parents' commentary track: "Ewww, all wrong. . . . Why do people feel it necessary to tamper with a . . .. there is only one Paul McCartney and you, child, are no Paul."

"Ah, yeah, Dad, it was awful." t got up and started unloading the dishwasher. thought that maybe that would help get Mom in a better mood.

"What do you say, Bees?" Dad reached across the table and squeezed my mothers hand.

"Oh, okay . . ." Mom looked defeated.

I tried not to laugh as I opened the top cabinet to put the glasses back in place.

"Oh, cheer up. Remember, we have coming in a few weeks!" Dad tried to get Mom to smile.

"that's right.' Penny Lane, we forgot to tell you -- we have some wonderful news. the Taylors are going to spend thanksgiving with us. isn't that --"

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I tried to blink a few times to regain focus as I felt the glass slip from my hand. there was a crash on the floor. I looked up and saw a shocked look on my parents' faces.

they hadn't just said . . .

"Oh, Penny!" Mom got up and grabbed the broom and dustpan from the pantry. I just stood there while she started to clean up around me. "What has gotten into you?"

I couldn't even begin to explain.

this was a nightmare.

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chapter twenty one

I WAS STILL IN SHOCK THE following morning. I sat in a daze outside while I waited for Tracy to come pick me up. After the horrific news from the previous night, I needed my best friend more than ever.

Tracy's car turned on Ashland, and I practically ran out into the street. The car didn't even make a complete stop as I opened the door and got in the passenger seat.

"Wow, someone is excited to get to school," Tracy observed,

"You're not going to believe what happened last night!" My voice was quivering, on the verge of a full-on breakdown.

"Whoa, what on earth is going on, Pen? With everything that has happened the past couple of weeks, I'm sure it cant be that bad!'

"Oh, really, really, really, I think you might want to pull over for this."

Tracy pulled the car over and I told her the news. the words felt like they'd been festering inside of me for weeks instead of hours.

"What?!!! How come you didn't call me?"

"I left about fourteen messages."

Tracy reached into her purse and started swearing as she turned on her phone.

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I went on. "I just, I just. . . it's so awful. I don't want to see him again. What am I supposed to do?" tears were starting to form behind my eyes.

"You mean besides kill him? What exactly did your parents say and did you tell them that that creep is not welcome in your house?"

I shook my head. "Of course I didn't say that. You know my parents have no idea what happened this summer with Nate. Sometimes I swear that they're so clueless,"

"Okay, give me the outline of what happened, and then I'm going to call an emergency meeting of the Lonely Hearts Club at lunch so we can come together and help you out."

Not only was I having the worst morning of my life, but I was also going to flunk out of school.

Luckily, Tyson had been assigned to be my lab partner for our fetal pig dissection, and he seemed to know biology as well as he knew punk rock. I must've been in a state, because even he picked up on my mood.

"Hey is everything all right?" he asked, looking up from the syllabus.

I nodded weakly.

"So, do you think we should name it}"

I had no idea what he was talking about, "What?"

A smile crept on his face. I was surprised to find he had nice teeth. "You know, do you think we should name it?" He gestured down to the fetal pig resting in the dissection pan.

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"Oh, sure."

"Well." Tyson leaned over and started to examine the pig. "I was thinking of either Babe or Wilbur."

I looked at him in surprise.

"What? Do you think I would want to name him something like Slash or Killer?"

I couldn't help but laugh. that was exactly what I was thinking.

"I like Wilbur." I looked down at the poor pickled pig.

"Wilbur, it is." Tyson took a marker and wrote the name on the pan.

When the period ended, I immediately collected my books and practically ran out of the room, knocking over half the class. the hallway was a blur of people talking and lockers slamming as I ran down the corridor to the cafeteria.

When I got there, I saw Jen and Tracy rearranging tables in the back corner.

"I think were going to have a big showing today," Tracy said, pulling over a few chairs. We now had even more people at our table than the jock! cheerleader contingent.

All the members started to file in quickly. Everyone gave me a smile or a hug before they sat down.