The Lonely Hearts Club (10 page)

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chapter Fifteen

"YOU GIRLS TRY TO BEHAVE yourselves tonight," Dad said as he put on his coat Saturday night. "Now, Penny Lane, were only going to be gone for a couple hours. No boys."

I tried not to laugh. if only they knew.

My parents were on their way to dinner, while Tracy and I were in the middle of getting all of the important provisions ready for our first official Lonely Hearts Club meeting -- potato chips, dip, soda, pizza, and a selection of cheesy comedy movies.

"Don't worry, Dr. Bloom -- if Paul or Ringo stop by, we will be the perfect hostesses," Tracy loved the fact that my parents were so ... not normal.

"thank you, Tracy," Mom replied. "We know you will" She kissed me on the cheek before she headed out.

"Why do you encourage them?" I asked Tracy.

"Because it drives you crazy," the doorbell rang -- to the tune of "Love Me Do," of course.

"Let the festivities begin!" Tracy declared.

I'd been looking forward to this meeting all week. Just us girls, hanging out. But, part of me hoped that maybe, just maybe, it would end up being something bigger than that.

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Once Tracy, Diane, Jen, Amy, Morgan, and I settled into the basement, got comfortable in the sofas, and started munching on chips, Tracy stood up and passed out a piece of paper to each of us.

I looked down and saw the Official Guidelines of Penny Lanes Lonely Hearts Club.

"Hey" I protested. "this isn't just MY Club .. !'

Tracy threw a chip at me, "Just read it, will you!"

The Official Guidelines of Penny, Lanes Lonely, Hearts Club

Heretofore are thy official rules for members of "Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club." All members must agree to such terms or thy membership shall be struck from thy record.

1. All members agree to stop dating men (or, if referring to the male population at McKinley High, "little boys") for the rest of thy high school existence. Whether or not said members want to date after high school, they choose to proceed at their own risk. Failure to adhere to this, the most sacred rule, will result in the highest punishment allowed by law -- streaking through the halls at McKinley after lunch,

2. Members will attend all couple events together as a group, including, but not limited to, Homecoming, Prom, parties, and other couply events, despite possibly being labeled as freaks and getting jealous looks from guys who wish we were their hot dates, but instead have to settle for some lame wannabe.

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3. Saturday night is the official meeting night of Penny Lane's Lonely Hearts Club. Attendance is mandatory. Exceptions are for family emergencies and bad hair days only.

4. Members must be supportive of their friends, despite bad choices in clothing, hair, and/or music.

Violators of the rules are subject to membership disqualification, public humiliation, vicious rumors, and possible beheading.

I loved it. Granted, it was a little melodramatic in places (typical Tracy), but, all in all, it worked,

Jen looked at the list and let out a sigh. "Ever since you told me about the Club, I've been thinking about all the drama that has happened in my life because of boys. I mean, I recently found out that last year three of the guys on the boys' basketball team had a bet on who could deflower me. How stupid is that?" Jen rolled her eyes,

"Yeah, unfortunately Jon Cart took that privilege away from me last year," Amy shook her head. "if only I could get those forty-five seconds of my life back,"

"WHAT?!" Tracy practically screamed.

Amy covered her mouth. "Yeah, hate to break it to you, but losing it isn't that much fun."

Tracy looked disappointed. "Not that I'll ever get to know." She wrapped her arms around herself and pretended to sulk, "Stupid Club."

"Yeah, and in the continuing tradition of guys being total

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jerks to me for no reason, literally the second after it was over, he completely lost interest in me."

"Typical!' Jen agreed.

"Everything you see in the movies and on television is such crap. I did not see fireworks, and there was no sweeping symphony playing in my head." Amy glanced over at Diane. 'Although I'm sure with you and Ryan, there was probably candlelight and rose petals."

Diane blushed. "Um, not exactly."

I wasn't really sure I wanted to hear this.

"Please tell me there were at least silk sheets?" Amy said.

Diane said something, but her voice was so low it wasn't really audible.

"Um, maybe we should change the subject?" I suggested.

Diane looked around at all of us and smiled. "It's okay. it's just that. . . I'm a virgin,"

"YOU'RE A WHAT?" Tracy screamed and jumped off the couch. Diane just shrugged her shoulders.

No, Way.

She and Ryan were together for so long, they were practically married. Well, maybe those jokes about married people not having sex were true.

"Seriously!" Tracy screamed.

Diane nodded. "Seriously,"

"Wow."

After an awkward pause, Diane got up and walked over to Tracy. "thank you, Tracy," she said with a mischievous

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twinkle in her eye. "thank you for thinking all this time that I was a huge slut."

Tracy shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, judging my friends is what I'm here for."

"Penny, can we please put some music on so we can drown her out?" Diane smiled at me.

"Yeah, like any speaker could do that," Tracy countered.

I couldn't have agreed with Diane more. I already knew the perfect song to blast.

What else?

"Come together."

"You really don't have to worry about cleaning up," I said to Diane after everybody else had left. I washed out a few soda cans that needed to be recycled.

"Well, I wanted to ask you something."

I sat down at the kitchen table next to her.

She shifted uncomfortably. "Do you think it's weird?"

"the Club?"

"No, no. that Ryan and I never .. ."

"Um, well, I guess I just assumed ... .

She looked down at the floor. "Yeah, I know. it's just, . . can I tell you something?"

I nodded.

"I've never told anybody this before, but we tried to once. Last New Year's we were going to -- we had it all planned

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out. My parents were staying the night in the city so we went back to my room after Todd's party and we did have candles and he did buy me roses.. ." Diane laughed. "I guess we were so predictable." Her smile slowly vanished, and she sat still for a while.

I nodded sympathetically thoughts of my embarrassing, disastrous evening with Nate started to flood back to me.

"I remember that I was so sure of Ryan, that we would be together forever. Everything was so romantic, so perfect, and then . . I freaked out. We aren't talking a few nerves -- I completely lost it. We didn't even get that far -- most of our clothes were still on -- but I just started crying. Ryan immediately sat up and turned the lights on. He looked so concerned, which made me feel worse.

"I still don't understand what happened. I guess I panicked. We spent that night just lying together, him holding me as I cried. After that night, things were different between us. I think Ryan was worried that he'd done something wrong, so he never tried going that far again. We were both so embarrassed that neither one of us ever talked about it. We hardly did anything the last couple months we dated. that's why it's been so easy for us to stay friends, because that's what we ended up being, in the end . . . just friends."

Diane looked sad for a moment, then looked up at me and smiled weakly. "Everybody wants to know what happened, why did the perfect couple break up? I think that evening was the

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beginning of the end for us. Not because we were going to have sex, but because I think we both realized that we were forcing ourselves to be something that neither of us wanted."

Diane looked at me and shrugged. "I'm tired of doing things for other people or because it's expected of me, I'm not going to do it any longer."

"Good for you."

Diane smiled at me. "there's something else I want you to know."

I leaned forward, wondering what could possibly come next,

"After football season, I'm. quitting cheerleading."

this might have been even more of a surprise than the news about her and Ryan. "Really?"

"Yep, and I'm trying out for the basketball team. I'm doing this for me." Her face lit up and I could tell that she meant every word.

"Oh, Diane." I was practically speechless.

My head raced with all the information from the evening -- this was only our first official meeting and already so many of us were changing and so many secrets had been revealed.

I was sure that over time only more would come out.

Maybe even a few secrets of my own.

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chapter sixteen

OUR FIRST OFFICIALS CLUB OUTING was the following Saturday, to go Homecoming dress shopping together. I was extra excited because Rita was home from Northwestern and was going to be the excursion's honorary member.

But first we had to survive dinner with my parents on Friday night.

"Oh, it's so good to have my babies home," Mom kept saying.

I tried to ignore her, surveying the menu at our family's favorite restaurant, the Wilderness. (I never understood what was so wild about a family restaurant attached to a shopping center.) the waiter came over to take our order, and I looked down so Rita could be the first one to order. She was always a lot braver with our parents than I was.

"Yes, I'll have the filet mignon with the garlic mashed potatoes!' she said, looking directly at Mom, daring her.

"Rita . . ." Mom said with deep disapproval.

Rita took her napkin off her plate and put it on her lap. "Mother, young girls need their protein. Penny, what are you having?"

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the waiter looked over at me, obviously confused. I just smiled as I ordered a cheeseburger -- medium rare.

Mom started in, her big brown eyes, exactly like mine, narrowing as she locked in on Rita. "Rita . . Penny Lane ..." Oh, great, I was in trouble, too. "You know how we respect your decision to eat what you like, but I would really like for you to just try to understand where your father and I are coming from."

"See, Mom, I know where you're coming from." Rita made a grand gesture as she held out her hands. "I know what Paul would do in a situation like this, but I am not Paul McCartney. I'm Rita Bloom, and I choose meat. Lois of meat."

While most people become vegetarian for health or ethical reasons, Mom and Dad had done it simply because Paul McCartney led them there.

Sensing the tension at the table, Dad turned to me. "So, Penny Lane, what plans do you have with your big sister this weekend?"

I was about ready to tell him about the shopping trip when Rita interrupted with "I'm so excited because I get to meet Penny's club."

Uh-oh.

"You've joined a club, honey! that's great," Mom said as she took a sip of her water.

"Yes, what kind of club, kiddo?" Dad leaned in, interested.

"Well, urn, it's not really an official club." I threw daggers at Rita with my eyes. this was so humiliating. What was I supposed to say? See, Mom and Dad I'm sick of boys because your best

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friend's son was an ass so I decided to have my friends join together and forget about boys entirely.

"Penny started it. It's called the Lonely Hearts Club," Rita chimed in.

"Oh, oh, Penny Lane, that's so, so wonderful!" Mom put her hand up to her chest, thrilled that I'd named something after the Beatles, although she had no idea what the Club stood for. I could've started a club called the Yellow Submariners that went out in the ocean and clubbed baby seals and they still would've been proud.

"Kiddo, it's so great you're taking an interest in your heritage. Goo goo g'joob.'" Dad beamed.

My heritage? My great-grandfather on my fathers side was from England, true, but nowhere near Liverpool. And Mom's family was from Germany.

"Do you even want to know what the club is about?" I said. "Some friends and I have decided to stop dating guys ... at least until were out of McKinley."

Dads eyes lit up. "Penny Lane, that is the best idea for a club!"

Mom looked thoughtful for a minute before she said anything. "Penny Lane, is there a reason why you are doing this?"

My heart started beating quickly. She knew. I shook my head. "Not really. there were a lot of factors, I guess. But I'm just sick of my friends getting hurt.. ."

"Well, again, Penny Lane, this is just super." Dad reached across the table and grabbed my hand. "I want you to know