The Loop (53 page)

Their smoke-blue eyes were open now and their ears were unfolding and straightening. The bolder ones were already exploring the den’s nesting chamber, but as soon as they started to wander into the tunnel, their mother would gently take them in her jaws and carry them back to safety. In a day or two, their milk teeth would be breaking through and they would start to need meat. And only then would she let them wander from the den.

 

It was after eight and Kathy was about to shift from irritated to downright mad. She was in her best dress, Buck Junior was in bed, supper was in the oven, but where the heck was Clyde?

Calving was all but over and it was their first evening alone together at home in over a month - or supposed to be. Since her mom moved out, Kathy had been cooking supper for the whole crew down at the big house. But tonight everyone was going into town to eat at Nelly’s, so that she and Clyde could have a cozy, romantic supper and get to know each other again. He had probably gone for a drink with them first.

Things had been a little cool between them since all that trouble with the federal agents. Or to be more precise, she’d been cool and he’d been cautious, for, if she let herself, Kathy could still get angry about it. Why men always had to turn everything into a contest over who had the biggest dick, she’d never understand. Anyway, she’d made him suffer and now it was time to make up.

To that end, she had spent the entire afternoon preparing a fancy French meal. She had even printed out a little menu on the computer:
Vichyssoise
soup, followed by
Boeuf en Croûte Napoléon
, followed by
Pie Pécan
(which, okay, wasn’t really French, but happened to be Clyde’s favorite). And now the whole thing was going steadily to ruin.

To keep herself from smashing something, she was wrapping Lucy Millward’s present. The wedding was tomorrow afternoon and the whole town was going to be there.

Kathy had bought her a painting at Paragon. It was by a young artist who lived up Augusta way and who Ruth said looked a little like Mel Gibson. It showed the sun setting over the mountains, which, come to think of it, wasn’t all that appropriate for a wedding present, but Lucy wouldn’t mind. She was marrying a man from Great Falls called Dimitri. He was in the oil business and seriously rich.

Kathy had just finished writing Lucy’s card when Clyde’s headlights lit up the kitchen window. When he came in, he looked so sheepish that she almost forgave him on the spot for being late, though she wasn’t going to show it. She let him kiss her cheek. He smelled of drink.

‘Sorry, honey.’

‘Shall I stab you now or later?’

‘Whichever.’

‘Later then. Light the candles and sit down.’

The food wasn’t completely spoiled. Clyde was sober (or drunk) enough to say that it was the best he’d ever tasted. And by the time they got to the
Pie Pécan,
after a couple of glasses of wine, Kathy was starting to feel mellow. The first mouthful had Clyde frowning at the menu and saying it tasted a little like pecan pie. She explained it was similar, but made with French nuts.

Then he had to go and spoil things by bringing up those lousy wolves again. He said that earlier on, down at The Last Resort, he’d been talking with two of the guys from the post and pole company who’d told him they knew where the wolves were denning.

‘So, unless someone does something about it, there’ll be a whole new pack of the critters. It’s unbelievable. World’s gone plumb crazy.’

Kathy got up and started clearing the dishes. She didn’t want to hear another thing about wolves. And it made her think of poor old Mr Lovelace and that awful afternoon when those federal agents showed up. Clyde got up and went into the living room. She could hear him rummaging around for something in the closet.

‘Clyde, are you going to finish up or not?’

‘I’m coming, I’m coming.’

When he reappeared, he had something in his hands. It took Kathy a few moments to realize what it was. It was the wolfer’s loop.

‘Where the hell did you get that?’

‘It’s the thing he showed you, right?’

‘You stole it from his trailer?’

‘I just borrowed it.’

‘Clyde, for heavensake!’

‘All I’m asking is you show me how it works.’

He laid it on the table and came and put his arms around her.

‘Come on, honey. Help me. I want to do it for your daddy.’

34

T
he letter had arrived in Helen’s mailbox that morning. It came in an important-looking envelope, marked
University of Minnesota, Twin Cities Campus, Office of Admissions
and offered Luke a freshman place, starting that fall, at the College of Biological Science.

Helen screamed and hugged him and told him how smart he was. Luke wanted to tell Dan right away and because the cell phone had again refused to recharge, they drove into town to call him. He insisted they come on into Helena so he could buy them both lunch to celebrate.

‘The wolves seem to be behaving themselves okay,’ he said. ‘It won’t hurt to leave them without a nanny for a few hours.’

It was Lucy Millward’s wedding day and Luke felt bad about not being there. Both he and Helen had been invited, sent separate presents and pretended they would try to come if wolf work allowed. The truth was, neither of them fancied bumping into Luke’s father or Clyde, both of whom would be there. They accepted Dan’s offer.

He took them to a place he liked called the Windbag and they all ate and drank far more than they needed. Dan was in a much better mood than the last time they saw him and seemed to have made his peace with Helen. Luke and Helen drove back out to Hope, into the lowering sun, neither of them talking much, just feeling dreamy and good and together.

When they got back to the cabin, they walked down to the lake and Luke threw sticks into the water for Buzz to fetch, while Helen lay in the grass by the old boat and watched. When the dog grew tired, Luke went and sat with her and she lay with her head in his lap, looking up at a sky that was swirling with red and orange and purple clouds.

‘When I was little I liked to hide,’ she said.

‘D-doesn’t every kid?’

‘No, I mean,
really
hide. In our living room there were some glass doors that led out to the backyard and they had like, these long, red velvet drapes. And once, when I was eight years old, I got back from school early and crept into the house and hid there. For five hours.’

‘Five hours?’

‘Yep. I just stood there, dead still. Hardly breathed. My mom and dad just went nuts. They called the school, the neighbors, all my friends, and when no one had seen me, they were convinced I’d been kidnapped and called the police. There was a river not far from the house and a woman said she’d seen a little girl down there, so the police got divers and they searched the whole river.

‘And when it got dark they had floodlights out and helicopters combing the neighborhood with searchlights. It must have cost hundreds, thousands of dollars. And I could hear all these phone calls being made and my mom crying and screaming and everything and it was so . . . so terrible, what I’d done, that I couldn’t come out.’

‘So what happened?’

‘I wet myself and my sister saw it under the drapes and they found me.’

‘What did they do?’

Helen took a breath. ‘Well, they were pretty cut up about it. Kind of relieved and angry all at the same time. And I said, “Why on earth didn’t anybody look behind the drapes before getting into all that?” I mean, all these highly trained cops and social workers and everyone, and not one of them looks behind the drapes!’

‘Did they p-punish you?’

‘Yeah, they sent me to this shrink woman for a year. And she said I had a “problem with reality” and that’s why I liked to hide so much.’

‘And what do you think?’

Helen looked at him. ‘Hey, you know, you’d make a pretty good shrink yourself. That’s what they say: “And what do
you
think?”’

Luke smiled. ‘Well?’

‘I think she was dead right.’

Luke almost started to tell her about his hiding. How he’d hidden and watched her from up there in the trees, when she first came here. But he decided not to. Then he suddenly understood why she’d told him all this.

‘Y-you think that’s what we’re doing, don’t you? Hiding f-from reality.’

‘Uh-huh.’

‘It f-feels pretty real to me.’

Helen reached up and stroked his cheek.

‘I know.’

‘Look, I’ve been thinking. W-we could go spend the summer traveling. Go up to Alaska or somewhere. Then in the fall, you can come to Minneapolis with me.’

She laughed.

‘W-why not? You could finish your thesis.’

‘Oh, Luke.’ She sighed. ‘I don’t know.’

‘Tell me. Why not?’

He peered down into her shadowed face. Her eyes gave no reflection of the darkening sky now. He lowered his head and kissed her and she reached for him and pulled him gently down beside her and he felt their mouths and limbs stir with that mutual, miraculous hunger.

It was their way now, he realized, his as much as hers. To answer with their bodies those questions too brutal for their heads.

As he went inside her, a picture flashed across his mind of a small girl, standing like a statue behind a crimson curtain. And then, as the night enshrouded them, it was lost. Melted with all fear and all sorrow in the oblivion of their mingled flesh.

 

Lucy Millward looked a whole lot more comfortable on her horse than her husband-to-be did on his. Doug and Hettie had made sure to give him the calmest they had on the ranch, a dark brown gelding whose proper name was Zack, often lengthened by Lucy to Prozac. Whether or not Dimitri had been thus informed wasn’t clear, but he sat there as if the animal were merely taking a short breather from the apocalypse and might at any moment bear him straight to hell.

‘He’s a city boy,’ Hettie had quietly confided to Eleanor, when earlier they had watched everyone mount up. ‘But who needs horses when you own a hundred oil wells?’

Everyone was in the corral now, sitting on pews of baled hay and watching the proceedings. At the western end of the corral, against a backdrop of mountain and reddening sky and beneath a high gateway, entwined all around with red, white and blue ribbon that fluttered in the evening breeze, Lucy and Dimitri were declaring their love.

Their horses stood side by side, facing the minister’s mare, whose tail flicked from time to time as if to emphasize the gravity of the vows. Lined up on either side were the bridesmaids and the pageboys, three of each, all appropriately mounted. The girls wore white dresses, the boys black suits and hats, except for Lucy’s younger brother Charlie, whose hat had twice blown off and was now lying where it wanted to be, under the feet of his Shetland pony.

Lucy’s blond hair was woven with lilies and her white satin gown billowed gracefully to show white patent boots. Despite his obvious discomfort, Dimitri looked quite the part. He was wearing a black flat-brimmed hat, a black three-piece suit with a long jacket, boots and spurs and a black ribbon tie with a wingtip collar. Apart from the video cameras and somebody’s mobile phone going off, the whole thing was like a living tableau from the Old West.

Eleanor was sharing a bale with Kathy, while Clyde sat with Buck on the next. It was the first time she and Buck had seen each other since she’d walked out and it wasn’t as awkward as she’d feared.

She and Ruth had gotten here early to help Hettie prepare the food. When Buck arrived, he’d made a point of ignoring her. He’d gone around greeting everyone else and joking and Eleanor knew it was all for her benefit. It was almost like watching a stranger. He looked different; paler and older, as if the shine had been rubbed off his skin. There were red rims around his eyes. When they all filed down from the house to the corral, at last he acknowledged her.

‘Eleanor.’

‘Buck.’

She smiled but he didn’t smile back, just gave her a nod. And that was all. It was fine by her. In a way, it made it easier. Everyone else made a real fuss of her, asking how she was with such concern it was as though she’d just had major surgery. In a way, perhaps, she had.

The truth was, she hadn’t felt so good and in control of her life for many years. Living out of a suitcase at Ruth’s house, she felt free and young and that the world once again held promise, though of what, she had no idea.

Ruth had turned out to be a real friend. In their long, late-night talks, she had a way of coming up with things that gave Eleanor new insights, even on her own marriage. She had always assumed Buck’s philandering simply stemmed from an overcharged love of women. Ruth, however, believed almost the opposite. She thought it might perhaps be prompted by some underlying contempt or even fear of women and that sex was his way of proving his superiority.

Not all their discussions were so intense. In fact, Eleanor hadn’t laughed as much in years. Sometimes she went to bed aching from it.

All she missed of her old life was Luke. But he came to see her every few days and had once even brought Helen to supper. Eleanor had done her best to persuade him to come to the wedding, but she knew he wouldn’t and understood why.

‘You may kiss the bride,’ she now heard the minister say.

‘He’ll fall off his horse,’ Charlie Millward muttered and all around him laughed. Lucy leaned across and spared poor Dimitri the risk and the congregation cheered.

Often, on such occasions, the bride and groom would gallop off together, but today, in case death parted them prematurely, Lucy and Dimitri confined themselves to a stately walk around the corral. Then, for the next half-hour, they posed for photographs, while everybody else adjourned to the next corral for a drink.

It was all decked out for the party. There were rows of long tables and benches and a wooden dance floor had been laid in the middle. Nelly’s son Elmer, in his best
Bikers for Jesus
T-shirt, was playing away on his fiddle and the sun was going down in a picture-book blaze, just like in the painting Kathy had bought. The colored lights around the rails were starting to look pretty.