The Love Sucks Club (14 page)

At the front desk, I tell the receptionist that I have to check my
calendar and then I’ll call to schedule my other appointments. Sam stands when
I enter the waiting area and we walk out to the car.

Sliding into the driver’s seat, she glances at me. “Well?”

“Dr. Brawley says I am in perfect health and everyone should stop
worrying.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“Totally.”

“So what comes next?”

Grinning, I point out a couple of wild pigs rolling in the mud in
front of the business complex.

Sam laughs.
“
Gotta
love the island.
It’s the perfect juxtaposition between feral and
industrial.”

“With beautiful beaches.”

“Great food.”

“Gun violence.”

“Drugs.”

“Roaming wildlife.”

We pass the pigs and I call out a hello to them as we drive past.
“It would only have been better if they were rolling in the mud outside of the
police station.”

“Hey. Some of my best friends are cops.”

“Not island cops.”

“Good point.”

“Anyway, speaking of pigs, my next stop is my house where I will
see if my ex has come back.”

“And then?”

“Then I need to talk to
Esmé
.”

Concentrating on the road, she doesn’t answer for a few minutes. I
take the time to stare out the window and try to gather my thoughts. Things got
worse for me when
Esmé
came to town, even before I
knew she was here. Why is that? Sam is staring out the windshield, singing
along with some country tune on the radio. I wish my life was as simple as
hers. Then again, I guess her life isn’t easy, either. Maybe I’d be better off
being like Susannah, who always seems to get her way in everything. She never
seems unhappy, either. I wonder if she really is happy, though.

“Hey Sam,” I say, punching her in the arm.

“No hitting the driver.” She punches me hard on the thigh.

“
Ow
,
fucker.”

“You had something to say?”

“Do you feel like we ever really know anyone?”

“Maybe not all of their inner workings.... but I feel like I know
you very well.”

“I feel as if I haven’t made an effort to get to know my loved
ones as well as I should.”

“It isn’t too late.”

Pausing, I look at her out of the corner of my eye.
“For some.”

“Maybe it’s a lesson to start paying attention to those who are
still in your life.”

“Maybe.
Sam. What do you dream about?”

“A bacon double cheeseburger. Want to hit the Grill before I take
you home?”

“Totally.
I need sustenance to deal with
she-who-shall-not-be-named.”

Reaching over, I turn up the radio and lose myself in some song
about heartache and tractors as we drive to the Grill.

Chapter Eleven

Karen and Rick are at their usual places at the bar, so we detour
over to say hello to them. Rick stands as we approach and offers his chair. Sam
perches on it and I stand behind her. Slinging an arm around Rick, I ask how
everything has been going for them.

“Just gearing up for the big party,” he says.

“Need any help with anything?”

“Well, I’d be happy if you would be willing to bring a cooler full
of ice. We always seem to run out.”

Sam nods. “I’ve got a couple of big coolers. We’ll get several
bags on our way.”

“Thank you,” he replies. “I think we’ve got everything else under
control.”

Karen hasn’t said a word, so I pat her on the shoulder and ask how
she’s doing.

“Fine.
Thanks for asking.”

“I’m looking forward to the party. Call me if you can think of
anything else you need.”

“I will. Do you know if Roxanne is coming?”

Sam grins.
“Absolutely.
The entirety of
The Love Sucks Club will be in attendance.”

Laughing, Rick waves at the waitress to bring a round of drinks
over. He shakes his head. “Are you still doing that? How old are you? Twelve?”

Feigning hurt, Sam puts her hand over her heart. “Twelve? Come on.
This club offers an important public service to those who have been wronged by
love. We gather together in solidarity and console each other on the
suckiness
of love.”

He laughs again. “Isn’t it kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy? You
call yourselves The Love Sucks Club and you wonder why love sucks.”

Karen sniffs. “You’re all lesbians. Imagine how much more your
love lives would suck if you had to be with men.”

With my arm around Rick, I can feel his muscles tighten when she
speaks. Speaking slowly, he replies, “Not all men are villains.”

Karen ignores him and orders another drink. Sam raises an eyebrow
at Rick in question, but just gets a shrug in response.

“Well, at any rate,” Sam says in an overly cheerful voice. “We’re
going to get some food and head back to Dana’s place. Her ex is camped out in
her yard right now and we need to figure out how to get her to leave.”

“Call the police,” Karen says.

“Yeah, right,” Rick and I both say at the same time. The three of
us laugh hysterically while Karen purses her lips and turns away from us. She’s
giving us the cold back of death. I would know – I’ve experienced it a million
times in my life. Saying goodbye to the two of them, Sam and I sit down at a
table and order some food. We’re just settling in to eat when Susannah and
Thomas come in, trailed by Olivia.

“Aw shit,” Sam mutters. She immediately starts shoveling food into
her mouth as fast as she can.

“What the hell, dude? You’re going to choke.”

“Just hurry up and eat so we can get out of here.”

“Stop it. We’re going to have to suck it up.”

The ladies and Thomas arrive at our table and pull up chairs
without waiting for an invitation. Olivia dips her fingers into my basket and
steals several fries.

“I don’t know where your hands have been,” I snap.

“I’m sure they’re cleaner than anything else you’ve touched
today.”

Sam is still jamming food into her mouth at an alarming rate.
Susannah gives her the once over, but refrains from commenting. Thomas smiles
at me. “How are you feeling, Dana?”

“Fine, thank you. How are you feeling today?”

He’s not oblivious to the sarcasm in my voice. “I just heard you
had a hard time after we saw you in town the other day.”

“I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. There’s nothing wrong with me. Life
is wonderful. Life is grand. In fact, I’m feeling so great, that I think I’ll
order some ice cream to celebrate.”

“Wow,” Olivia intones. “Bitter much?”

“I’m not bitter. I just don’t want to have to keep talking about
my brain damage.”

Susannah laughs. “Yeah, that’s an old subject.”

“Anyway,” Thomas continues. “We were up at your house to see if
you needed help evicting your unwanted tenant. She wasn’t there and all of her
stuff is gone, too.”

“Well, I know where her stuff is.” I grin.

Sam laughs out loud, spraying bits of chewed food out of her
mouth.

“Since she didn’t come back, maybe she got the hint.”

“Good,” I say, still grinning. “Maybe she decided to harass
someone else.”

Thomas nods. “We’ll still go home with you, if you want.
Better safe than sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. Sam and I can handle her on our own.”

Sam mumbles what I take to be acquiescence around a huge mouthful
of food. A chunk of burger falls out of her mouth as she speaks. She picks it
up off her plate and puts it back into her mouth.

“Gross, Sam!” Olivia squeals.

Forcing a swallow, Sam grins at Olivia. “Glad to be of service.”

“You’re a pig.”

“A proud pig.”
Sam says.

“Pig in a poke,” I add.

“Porky pokey pig,” Sam responds.

“Pork chop,” I answer.

“Enough,” Susannah cuts us off as Sam opens her mouth. “You two
really are mental teenagers.”

“At least we’re improving,” I say. “We were called twelve a few
minutes ago.”

Sam has crammed the rest of her food in her mouth and signaled for
the check.

“Are you in a hurry?” Olivia asks.

“I have to get back to work for a while after I take Dana home.”

“Well, we can take Dana home,” Susannah says.

“No, it’s fine. Sam and I need to stop at the store before we head
up the hill,” I say, waving in the general direction of my house.

Thomas squares his shoulders. “I still think we should come back
up with you, just in case she comes back around.”

“Don’t worry about it. We crammed her stuff into her car. I’m sure
she won’t be back.”

I hand Sam some money and she goes up to the bar to pay our bill
while I suck down the rest of my food. Susannah gives me a hug as I stand up
and offers to come up tomorrow morning for breakfast. I decline politely,
insisting that I haven’t had a moment to write in what seems like weeks.

“Good idea. How else can you keep your refrigerator stocked for me
if you aren’t bringing in any royalties?”

“Exactly.”

I shake hands with Thomas and say goodbye to Olivia. Sam is
waiting for me by the exit. Olivia sniffs. “Apparently she isn’t going to come
back to say goodbye.”

“She’s thinking it,” I say, grinning.

Jumping into the truck, Sam
smiles at me across the seat.
“That went well.”

“You have ketchup on your chin.”

She pulls down the rear view mirror and scrubs at her chin with a
finger. “Still, it was worth it to get out of there without having to talk to
Olivia.” Backing out of the parking space, she winds around the beach front
road before turning off into the woods toward my hill.

“You’re kind of a jerk to her.”

Throwing her head back against the seat, she clutches at her heart
with one hand. “I’m sorry. Who the hell are you?”

“Come on. She’s annoying, but she’s Susannah’s friend. Maybe she
just needs some compassion.”

“Who are you and what
have
you done with
my friend?”

“Hey,” I counter, affronted. “I’ve always been a compassionate
person.”

“Not to Olivia.”

“Well, she does kind of irritate me. But I’ve started to wonder
lately if maybe there’s a story there that we just don’t know.”

Sam looks doubtful.
“Maybe.”

When we get to the top of the hill, I scour the yard, but it
doesn’t look as if she’s moved back in. Sam puts the truck in gear and looks at
me.

“Want me to come in with you just in case?”

“Forget it. Her car isn’t here. Her stuff isn’t here. Her ugly mug
isn’t here. I think I’m safe.”

“Okay. Thanks for letting me take you to the doctor.”

“Thanks for taking me.” I reach over to give her a half hug before
getting out of the car. “Want to have a club meeting tomorrow?”

“Yeah, four o’clock at the Pit?”

“Sounds good.
I’ll text Roxanne and make sure
she’s available.”

She waves as she turns around. I unlock my front door and walk
inside. There’s no dramatic tension, so I’m relatively sure that I’m alone–at
least as far as human beings go. Frank gives a
blert
to me from his exalted position on my counter. Scratching between his ears, I
lean down and give him a kiss right on his big brown and beige face. He
scrunches his nose up at my kiss, but he tolerates it because somewhere deep down
in his kitty heart, he does love me. Tossing down a couple of kitty treats, I
wander into the front room to check my email.

I know I need to get some writing done today. I’ve been such a
wastoid
lately. I pull my cell out of my pocket and text
Roxanne to let her know about the meeting tomorrow. She writes back almost
instantly to ask if I need company. It would be nice to have her here and
there’s a good chance that we will make love if I invite her over for the
evening. I could use a little intimacy right now. On the other hand, bringing
another woman into my life right now is probably not the best idea in the
world. Roxanne is a lot older than I am, too. Maybe at forty and sixty that
doesn’t matter, but it will at fifty and seventy. She’s in great shape, though.
Maybe better shape than I
am
. She’s a great friend. It
just doesn’t make sense for us to be a couple. I text her back that my ex is
gone and the place is secure. Let her know that I’ll see her tomorrow at The
Pit. It’s the right decision, but I still feel like shit. I want her to be here
with me. I’m feeling so lonely all of a sudden.

Stretching out on the couch, I decide just to close my eyes for
five minutes. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. A power nap will give me
enough energy to face the evening.

I’m coming out of a dream in which I’m trapped in some kind of
caul and trying to break through it to make it back into this world. Tearing at
the caul, I wrestle my way out of it and back into consciousness. My heart is
pounding, my head is pounding, and someone is pounding on my door.
“God dammit!”

Struggling off the couch, I stomp my way into the kitchen and
stalk over to the door. With every intention of fucking up whoever is on the
other side, I throw open the door, scaring the crap out of my ex. Advancing on
her,
I poke my finger into her chest.

“I’m done with this. I do not want you here. I don’t owe you
anything. I am not going to give you money. You are not going to stay at my
house. You need to get your ass out of my life. I don’t want to see your face
ever again.” My voice is going up in volume as I continue to jab her repeatedly
with my finger. The shock on her face almost makes me laugh, but I shake it off
as I continue my tirade. “You will not come to my house. You will not speak to
me in public. If you see me at a bar or a restaurant or a store, you will
pretend that you don’t see me and look the other way. Are we totally fucking
clear?”

Stepping back, she looks at me. Coming down from my tirade, I
realize that she looks neither pissed off nor scared.
Just
sad.
She shakes her head at me for a moment and looks down at the
ground.

“I get it. I understand. I’m sorry. I guess I was counting on the
fact that we once loved each other. I thought the fact that I’m in trouble
might have stirred your compassion. I won’t bother you again.”

“That’s all I want. I just want to be left alone.”

She nods. “You will be.
All alone.
And
someday, you may regret it.”

Walking back to her vehicle, she pauses once to look back at me.
She opens her mouth to speak and then thinks better of it. I watch her get
drive away and suddenly, I think I’m going to cry. Back in my kitchen, I perch
on a stool and rest my head on Frank’s tremendous girth. He chirps once as I
lay my head down. I can feel his purr rumbling through his rib cage against the
side of my face. I think I could be happy like this for the rest of my life.
Just
me
and Frank and a few million cans of tuna. I
think if we ever have a zombie apocalypse, Frank and I will be set. We’ll just
hole up here and pick ‘
em
off one by one, tossing the
bodies over the porch and down the hill. Frank shifts and turns, going back to
sleep. I wish I could come back as a cossetted house cat. Closing my eyes, I
turn off my thoughts and go back to sleep.