The Low Notes (34 page)

It was her handwriting and it had his name on the front. His heart was already too weak from walking away. Leaving her. He hadn't yet had the courage to listen to her voice on his cell phone. She’d left him countless messages. Even scanning through his text messages was a testament of his will for not running to her and changing his mind.

He remembered the agony he felt pushing her away in November, when she’d first professed her love for him. It was the same but different. He wasn't scared for himself. He wasn't hiding from his feelings. He was protecting her. Or he thought he was anyhow. But as the days went by he began questioning his decision. Still, he held as strong as he could.
It's the best thing
, he tried to convince himself.

At some point, he finally gathered the nerve to read her note. He was afraid of what her words could do to him but he couldn't wait any longer. He took a deep breath, sat down on his bed where they'd first made love and unfolded the letter.

Dear Kevin,

I don't know where you are or why you left but I don't care. This has been the greatest year of my life.

I’ll survive without you. It doesn't feel like it in this moment but I know I’ll go on. I'll go off to Caldwell and I'm sure I'll find happiness there. Because I don't need you to have a life.

But I want you. I want to be in your arms. I want to see your smile every day and I want to hear your laugh.

You were worth fighting for and you still are. You're also worth waiting for. You need to know I'll be waiting. Patiently as I can, without judgment or anger, I'll wait.

I love you,

Nina

****

The conniving whispers and tormenting glares from Nina’s classmates dissipated in the few days before the end of high school. Nina gracefully walked across the stage of the auditorium that bared her name, receiving her diploma and thinking to herself the whole time how hard she’d worked to get there. And she wasn’t thinking about grades.

She sang one last time at The Black Jewel, praying Kevin would breeze through the front door at any moment. Through each song she squinted to see the very back corner near the bar, hoping he might be waiting. He never showed. Eventually she stopped calling him, stopped texting and emailing. Still having too much to say, too many questions, but no more will to survive without answers.

Her life was packed up in brown boxes and clear plastic tubs, ready for college. But as she settled into Caldwell and her New York City apartment, ridiculously overpriced but an expense not spared by her overindulgent father, she continued to think of Kevin. She started her summer program and excelled with ease. Unbeknownst to her professors her passion for music, her talents in writing and performing, were all fueled by her emotions for Kevin.

Greta and Nina became closer than ever as they planned Greta’s wedding countless hours over the phone. Greta and Blake even flew to New York to celebrate Thanksgiving with Nina, bringing James along as well. She suddenly felt blessed in her life to have them. A misfit family maybe, but they were her family nonetheless and she often thought she wouldn’t have been able to get through it without them.

As hurt as Nina still felt, confused and even enraged at times, she continued to miss Kevin. She always asked about him, if anyone had seen him or heard anything. And it wasn’t until Nina met up with everyone again on the family Christmas trip to Florida that she got some information. James and Nick had seen Kevin working at Wexley Falls First National Bank. Neither of them spoke to him but James told Nina he’d clearly made eye contact. James said something about giving him the evil eye because he still felt like kicking his ass. Nina scolded him, telling all of them to be nice if they saw him.

She made new friends at school, fell in love with her classes, and even took up a part time job singing a few nights a week just like she had at The Black Jewel. New York suited her and gave her a new found confidence in herself she’d only thought she already possessed. Everything seemed right. Good friends, good family, school, work, life in general. Everything was falling into place. There was just one thing missing and it had been an aching hole in her heart since the Monday after senior prom.

Chapter Seventy-Two

August

“
Kevin, it’s been so great meeting you. We’ll be in touch,” Angela said.

She was a petite brunette woman who didn’t look much older than Kevin. He’d only spoken to her a few times on the phone, mostly emails as they finalized plans and finished up the editing process on his book. He shook her hand and thanked her again for all she’d done then he was on his way to the hotel he’d spent way too much money on.

His book was going to be published. He could hardly believe it. He felt nostalgic for a phone call to his father as he walked down the busy streets of New York City. There was another phone call he was nostalgic for as well. He was in New York and he knew she was, too. Somewhere.

Kevin sprawled out on the California king sized bed and flipped through the channels, finding nothing of interest as he finished the last of his room service French fries. He walked over to the window and pulled the nearly-sheer drapes to either side, exposing the view. It was breathtaking. Times Square lit up at night could make anyone want to live in this city forever. He sighed.
Damn.
There was her face again in his mind.

It had been over a year since he’d seen her but just minutes since he’d thought of her. There were days when all he wanted to do was call her, explain and apologize. He’d let a myriad of calls and messages from her come and go without responding. Would he look like a total jerk speaking up after all this time? Kevin cursed himself almost daily for running away. At the time his heart had been in the right place. Letting her go seemed like the only logical thing to do. Otherwise he would have forever felt like he held her back from something greater than what they had.

He winced at the thought, wondering if
he
would ever have anything greater than what they had.
Never,
he thought. Kevin tried to return his life to normal. He got a job at the bank and motivated himself to finish the book and it really paid off.

Nina filled his thoughts pretty regularly. Certain songs on the radio or something as stupid as scores from the high school sports teams on the news would put her in his mind. He’d seen her friends and felt sick to his stomach, knowing how they must hate him. But he wouldn’t dare rush over and try to defend himself.

Once her calls and texts stopped, he felt the weight of the world sitting on his shoulders.
She might never call again,
he thought. Maybe he’d never have the chance to tell her how much he really loved her.

He heard his phone ringing on the bedside table and he sprung over to answer it.

“
Hello?”

“
Hey man! How‘d it go?” Jeff asked.

Kevin shut his eyes and shook his head. He forgot he told Jeff he'd call. He sighed letting the hope the phone call might have been from her, for whatever unrealistic and fateful reason, float away.

“
Great. I met with Angela and we signed the paperwork. Kinda surreal, you know?”

“
That’s so awesome. Jen and I are super happy for you,” Jeff replied.

Kevin nodded as if Jeff could see him accept the pleasantry. His eyes wandered back to the city lights through the large pane of glass.

“
So…are you gonna call her?” Jeff asked in a hushed tone with his words drawn out cautiously.

Kevin let out a snort of a laugh. “I had a feeling you were going to ask me that. To tell you the truth, I’ve been asking myself the same thing all day.”

“
You should at least tell her you’re in town,” Jeff offered, still in a whisper. Kevin knew Jeff was probably hiding in a corner of his house, keeping this portion of the conversation secret from Jennifer. She'd been curt with him since she figured out what happened. Things hadn’t been the same.

“
She‘s probably busy. Hell, she probably has some trendy boyfriend,” Kevin mused.

“
Or she’s dating one of her professors.”

“
Jesus Christ Jeff,” Kevin started angrily.

Kevin grimaced at the thought even though he knew Jeff was kidding. Or maybe he wasn’t kidding. Kevin wondered so many nights about what she was up to, figuring out who she was and what she wanted to be. He barely thought of her dating, much less dating someone he wouldn’t like. He thought about her letter, telling him she'd be waiting. He wondered how long those words were good for.

“
I think I’m just gonna go down to the bar, have a few drinks and call it a night,” Kevin said. He and Jeff said their goodbyes then Kevin was in the elevator headed down to the swanky lounge he’d passed when he checked in.

“
Scotch and water,” he said, taking a seat on a black leather stool. The bartender nodded and fixed the drink quickly. There wasn’t much of a crowd and Kevin was surprisingly happy about that.

As his eyes lowered to his drink, taking in the first swig, he caught a glimpse of a woman in the lobby for a split second. Her pale skin shown out of the back of her strapless dress.
Pretty fancy for a Tuesday night
, he thought. Then again it was New York; she could have been doing anything in a dress like that. Something about the way she walked though… He shook his head and took another sip of his drink.

Not a moment passed and he glanced back at her again, strangely curious. Now she was standing amongst the cluster of chairs and tables in front of a baby grand piano. Her back was to him and she was chatting up a woman with a hotel name badge. He watched the light glinting off the subtle beading of her midnight blue dress. Kevin’s eyes slid up her legs just as she was turning toward the bar. He scanned her body from the floor up and soon was looking right at her beautiful face. His breath caught.

Even from a few feet away he could see her eyes were gray. Her jet black hair was now painted with caramel highlights. It was luscious looking, pulled into a ponytail swept over one bare shoulder. Dark curls cascaded down the front of her. Her hair had grown.

Her eyes met his and he watched her face go blank. She looked at the woman she’d been talking to and muttered something to her before maneuvering through the tables and chairs to get to him. Kevin felt paralyzed in his chair. She was coming at him quickly, with marked determination. His mind raced through their final conversation, the messages he’d listened to and the text messages he’d never answered. That letter. With the sound of his heart pulsing hard in his ears, he braced himself for her rage as she approached.

Nina stood in front of him silently looking into his eyes, her face emotionless. Then in an instant her arms were wrapped around his neck and her body was against his in an unexpected embrace. Kevin hesitated to put his hands on her bare back, but he couldn’t resist the artlessness of it. He breathed in the scent of her skin, shutting his eyes as his head reeled. She pulled back and dropped her arms to her sides, laughing nervously.

Both were at a loss for words. Her smile widened and she opened her mouth to speak but a breathy laugh was all that escaped. Kevin was bewitched staring at her. Her eyes stayed fixed on him.

“
Nina?” a voice called from behind her and she turned to look. It was the woman she'd been talking to. Her pianist.

Whipping her head back to Kevin, she finally spoke.

“
I have to go on.”

Now Kevin breathed the same sort of laugh and shook his head a moment. “Oh my God,” he sighed in astonishment, realizing she was about to sing. It was fitting, for fate had haunted the two of them since day one.

“
Don’t leave,” she blurted.

Any other person saying it to him and he wouldn't have felt such a heaviness in the words.

Kevin shut his eyes slowly, guilt seeping into his heart. She turned to walk onto the hardwood square where a microphone and a piano stood waiting. The dreamlike occurrence of Nina standing right in front of him had his mind swimming and he knew he needed to let her get on stage. As she started to move away from him, he couldn't stop himself from grasping her wrist. Kevin spun her back around to meet him. A little too close.

He looked down at the slender wrist he held in his hand and he saw the bracelet he’d given her just a day before the fallout. A fire burned between them that had been only glowing embers seconds before they realized they were in the same town, in the same building. He leaned in next to her ear, the smell of Nina’s skin making him dizzy and he whispered, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Nina Jordan.”

She shifted back on her heels and looked deep into his eyes silently before pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, letting a sultry slow smile creep through. Kevin beamed back tenderly and watched as she headed to the microphone. It was a dream he’d had a million times. Nina sang out only to him, her eyes locked on him, her smile just for him. Her voice wrapped around Kevin like a warm silk blanket and he shut his eyes for a moment to truly enjoy it. It was the most stunning performance he would’ve never expected. Nina smiled shyly but belted out to him just like all those nights at The Black Jewel.