The Magus, A Revised Version (58 page)

‘
But why should he drive us together?
’

She said nothing for a moment.
‘
I don
’
t think the
Three Hearts
story means anything. But there
’
s a much greater work of literature that may.
’
She left a pause for me to guess, then murmured,
‘
Yesterday afternoon, after my little scene. Another magician once sent a young man hewing wood.
’

‘
I missed that. Prospero and Ferdinand.
’

‘
Those lines I recited.
’

‘
He also brought it up on my very first visit here. Before I even knew you existed.
’
I noticed she was avoiding my eyes. It was not, given the end of
The Tempest,
difficult to guess why. I murmured,
‘
He can
’
t have known we
’
d

‘
I know. It
’
s just …
‘
she shook her head.
‘
That I
’
m his to give.
’
She added,
‘
Not you.
’

‘
And he certainly has a Caliban.
’

She sighed.
‘
I know.
’

‘
Which reminds me. This hiding-place of yours.
’

‘
Nicholas, I can
’
t show you. If we are being watched, they
’
ll see.
’

‘
It
’
s close to here?
’

‘
Yes.
’

‘
At least you can tell me where.
’
She seemed embarrassed in a different way now; again avoided my eyes.
‘
Supposing you were in trouble.
’

She smiled.
‘
If we were earmarked for a fate worse than death … I think it would have happened by now.
’

‘
But why can
’
t I know? You promised.
’

‘
I still promise. But please not now.
’
She must have heard the sharpness in my voice, because she reached out and touched my hand.
‘
I
’
m sorry. I
’
ve broken so many other promises to Maurice this last hour. I feel I ought to keep one.
’

‘
Is it so important?
’

‘
Not at all. Except he says he wants to surprise you with it one day. I don
’
t know how.
’

I was puzzled, yet in a way it was additional proof of her story; a contrariness that confirmed it. I left a little silence, as a test, knowing that liars hate silence. But she passed that.

‘
Have you talked with the other people here?
’

‘
We
’
ve never seen the others to talk to. There
’
s Maria, but she
’
s
hopeless. As impossible to get anything out of as Joe.
’

‘
The crew on the yacht?
’

‘
They
’
re just Greeks. I don
’
t think they know what goes on here.
’
She suddenly said,
‘
Did June tell you we suspect there
’
s a spy at your school?
’

‘
Who?
’

‘
Maurice told us one day you were very stand—
off
ish with the other masters. That they didn
’
t like you.
’

I thought at once of Demetriades; of how, when I reflected, it was odd that such a natural gossip should have kept my trips to Bourani so secret. Besides, I
was
stand—
off
ish. He was the only other master I was ever frequently with, outside the common-room. I remembered, with a flash of relief, that I had lied to him about meeting Alison -not out of cunning, but to avoid his wretched jokes.

‘
I can guess who it would be.
’

‘
It
’
s the one side of Maurice I can
’
t stand. All this spying. He
’
s got a cine-camera on the yacht. With a telephoto lens. He claims it
’
s for birds.
’

‘
If I ever caught the old bastard

‘
I
’
ve never seen it here. I think it
’
s just another of his fifty-seven varieties of red herring.
’

I watched her, I knew there was some conflict in her, some indecision, some admission she wanted to coax out of me that ran contrary to most of what we had been saying. I remembered what her sister had told me about her the night before; and made a guess.

‘
In spite of everything, you want to go on?
’

She shook her head.
‘
Nicholas, I don
’
t know. Today, now, yes. Tomorrow, probably not. Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I suppose if I have a clear instinct, it
’
s that if we walked out on it, nothing like it would ever happen again. Do you feel that?
’

I had her eyes, and the moment seemed right. I sprang my final test.

‘
Not really. Since I know it
’
s happened at least twice before this year.
’

She was so surprised that she did not understand. She stared at my faint smile, then pushed
off
her stomach and sat back on her heels.

‘
You mean you
’
ve been … this isn
’
t your first

She was transparently set back. Her eyes, both hurt and lost, accused mine.

‘
My two predecessors at the school.
’

Still she didn
’
t understand.
‘
They told you? You knew all along?
’

‘
Just that something odd happened here last year. And the one before.
’
I explained how I had found out; and how little; and that the old man had admitted it. Again I watched to see how she would react.
‘
He also told me you
’
d both been here before. And met them.
’

She stared at me, outraged.
‘
But we
’
ve never set foot

‘
I know.
’

She sat sideways and looked out to sea.
‘
Oh he
’
s impossible.
’
Then her eyes were back on mine.
‘
So all the time you
’
ve been thinking we
–’

‘
Not really. I knew he was lying about one thing.
’
I described Mitford, and the old man
’
s tale of his supposed attraction for her. She asked questions, she wanted to know every detail.

‘
And you
’
ve really no idea what happened with them?
’

‘
They certainly never told anyone at the school. Mitford gave me that one hint. I have written to him. No answer yet.
’

She searched my eyes one last time, then looked down.
‘
I suppose it argues that it can
’
t be too awful in the end.
’

‘
That
’
s what I try to tell myself

‘
How extraordinary.
’

‘
You
’
d better not tell him.
’

‘
No, of course not.
’
After a moment she smiled wrily up.
‘
Do you think he has an endless supply of twin sisters?
’

‘
Like you, no. Not even him.
’

She looked down from my unambiguous eyes.

‘
What do you think we should do?
’

‘
When
’
s he due back? Or pretending to be back?
’

‘
This evening. Or so we were told yesterday.
’

‘
It could be an interesting meeting.
’

‘
I may get the sack for incompetence.
’

I said softly,
‘
I
’
ll find you a job.
’

There was a little silence, then she met my look. I reached a hand, and it too was met; I pulled her towards me, and we lay side by side, a little apart. I began to trace the lines of her face … the eyes, which she closed, the nose to its tip, then the contour of the mouth. She kissed the finger. I drew her closer and kissed the mouth. She responded, yet I sensed a reserve still; a wanting, and not wanting. We separated a little, I stared at that face. It seemed to me one I could never tire of, an eternal source of desire, of the will to protect; without either physical or psychological flaw. She opened her eyes and gave me a gentle, but reticent, smile.

‘
What are you thinking?
’

‘
How beautiful you are.
’

‘
Did you really not meet your friend in Athens?
’

‘
Would you be jealous if I had?
’

‘
Yes.
’

‘
Then I didn
’
t.
’

‘
I bet you did really.
’

‘
Honestly. She couldn
’
t make it.
’

‘
Then you did want to meet her?
’

‘
Out of some sort of kindness to dumb animals. Only to tell her it was no good. I
’
d given my soul to a witch.
’

‘
Some witch.
’

I raised her hand and kissed it, then the scar.

‘
How did you get that?
’

She cocked the wrist and looked at it.
‘
When I was ten. Playing hide-and-seek.
’
She made a fleeting duck
’
s mouth, mocking herself.
‘
I should have learnt my lesson. I hid in a garden shed and knocked this what looked like a long stick
off
a peg … and put up my arm to shield myself.
’
She mimed it.
‘
It was a scythe.
’

‘
You poor thing.
’
I kissed the wrist again, then once more drew us close, but after a while left her mouth, kissed the eyes, the neck, the throat, along the curve of the dress above the breasts; then found the mouth again. We explored each other
’
s eyes. There was something still uncertain in hers; yet something melted as well. Suddenly they closed, and her mouth reached towards mine, as if she could speak better with lips now than in
words. But just as we were be
coming drowned in each other, unaware of anything but our joined mouths and close-pressed bodies, we were stopped.