As I was saying his children knew it sooner of him than the business men around him that he was full up with impatient feeling that the fighting in him would break down into impatient feeling, they knew it sooner about him than the business men around him that the anger in him would not carry him to any last act against them. His wife as I was saying knew it in her feeling sooner than the business men around him sooner than his children how far the nature in him would carry him, knew it sooner in her feeling how she could manage him, knew it in her feeling how in a way she was not important to him though this last never came to be a conscious feeling till at the ending of his middle living. The governess and servants in the house with him, as I was saying, liked him then in his middle living for his hearty laughing and the big ways he had of buying but they never felt in contact with him, his wife and his children were more real to all of them, this was true of all of them the servants and the governesses as they lived in the house with them, there was less of such a feeling in the governess Madeleine Wyman who was the governess they had with them in the beginning of the ending of Mr. Hersland's middle living, in the time when Mrs. Hersland had inside her the most important feeling of herself to herself in her feeling.
Mr. David Hersland then in his home living had always new ideas about ways of eating, ways of doctoring, ways of educating children, sometimes in a stubborn way he would go on a long time with some one way of them but this was mostly well at the end of his middle living, when his wife was not any longer strong in him, when she was no longer a tender feeling in him, when she was not any longer important to him. His wife had sooner in her than any one that knew him a feeling of how far the nature in him would carry him. She knew this in her from living with him as a wife to him, from the simple repeating that a man has in him for the woman who is a wife to him. He never felt it in him as a judgment of him this feeling that made her know about him how far the nature in him would carry him, she was to him never a thing outside him excepting when she was a kind of joke to him, she was always to him inside him, she never had for him any importance for him in her being outside of him, in such a part of her being she was either a joke to him or she was not important to him or he brushed her away from around him. The men around him in his business living never made him feel in him how far the nature in him would carry him, to himself with them he was strong in fighting with them or against them or he was brushing them away from around him or they were not important to him. The governesses and servants and the for him poor people near him were never important to him excepting perhaps in his later living when he was shrunk away from the outside of him and he needed a woman inside to fill him and this was beginning a little in him in the beginning of the ending of his middle living, or else when there were some of them in him a little in his later living as a tender feeling as earlier his wife had been in him to him, or as they were in the beginning of the ending of his middle living important as a padding to him. So he never knew it in him how far the nature in him could carry him, how he could not come to the last end of fighting, he never knew it inside him that he was not brushing people away from around him when he went away from them in another direction in a blustering fashion until his children in his later living when they were angry with him for his impatient feeling said it to him. His children were for him not so completely outside him as business men around him, they were not in him as his wife was in him and as later some women and some men were in him, they were not of no importance to him inside him as some men and some women and the governesses and servants and people living near him were to him, they were outside him, they could get at him, in his later living when they were angry with him because of his being full up then with impatient feeling they told him what they thought of him, they made him feel it then inside him and this was all in the ending of his middle living.
A man in his living has many things inside him, he has in him his important feeling of himself to himself inside him, he has in him the kind of important feeling of himself to himself that makes his kind of man; this comes sometimes from a mixture in him of all the kinds of natures in him, this comes sometimes from the bottom nature in him, this comes sometimes from the natures in him that are in him that are sometime in him mixed up with the bottom nature in him, sometimes in some men this other nature or natures in him are not mixed with the bottom nature in him at any time in his living many of such men have the important feeling of themselves inside them coming from the other nature or natures in them not from the bottom nature of them.
Many men have sometime in their living the important feeling of themselves to themselves inside them, some men have always this feeling inside them, most men have such a feeling more or less in them, perhaps all men and mostly all women have sometime in them a feeling of themselves to themselves inside them; this comes sometimes from a mixture in them of the kind of natures in them, this comes sometimes from the bottom nature of them, this comes sometimes from the natures in them that are mixed up with the bottom natures of them, sometimes in some of them the other nature or natures in them are not mixed with the bottom nature in them, many of such of them have the important feeling of themselves inside them coming from the other natures not from the bottom nature of them.
Mostly all men in their living have many things inside them. As I have just been saying the feeling of themselves inside them can come in different ways from the inside of them, can come in different ways in some of the many millions of one kind of men from the other millions of that same kind of them.
A man in his living has many things inside him. He has in him his feeling himself important to himself inside him, he has in him his way of beginning; this can come too from a mixture in him, from the bottom nature of him, from the nature or natures in him more or less mixed up with the bottom in him, in some, though mostly in all of them the bottom nature in them makes for them their way of beginning, in some of each kind of men the other nature or natures in them makes for them their way of beginning.
Men in their living have many things inside them, they have in them, each one of them has it in him, his own way of feeling himself important inside in him, they have in them all of them their own way of beginning, their own way of ending, their own way of working, their own way of having loving inside them and loving come out from them, their own way of having anger inside them and letting their anger come out from inside them, their own way of eating, their own way of drinking, their own way of sleeping, their own way of doctoring. They have each one of them their own way of fighting, they have in them all of them their own way of having fear in them. They have all of them in them their own way of believing, their own way of being important inside them, their own way of showing to others around them the important feeling inside in them.
In all of them in all the things that are in them in their daily living, in all of them in all the things that are in them from their beginning to their ending, some of the things always in them are stronger in them than the other things too always in them. In all of them then there are always all these things in them, ways of being are in all of them, in some of the many millions of each kind of them some of the things in them are stronger in them than others of them in them.
In all of them then in all the things that are in them in their daily living, in all of them in all the things that are in them from their beginning to their ending,—in all of them then there are always all these things in them,—in some of the many millions of each kind of them some of the things are stronger in them than others of them.
There are then many kinds of men and many millions of each kind of them. In many men there is a mixture in them, there is in them the bottom nature in them of their kind of men the nature that makes their kind of thinking, their kind of eating, of drinking and of loving, their kind of beginning and ending, there is then in many men this bottom nature in them of their kind of men and there is mixed up in them the nature of other kinds of men, natures that are a bottom nature in other men and makes of such men that kind of man.
In many men there is a mixture in them, there is in them the bottom nature in them the nature of their kind of men and there is mixed up in each one of them the nature or natures of other kind of men, natures that are each one of them a bottom nature in some of the many millions that there are of men and make of such men that kind of man.
In all the things that are in all men in all of their living from their beginning to their ending there can be as the impulse of them the bottom nature in them, the mixture in them of other nature or natures with the bottom nature, the nature or other natures in them which in some men of the many millions of each kind of men never really mix up with the bottom nature in them. Some of the things all men have in them in their daily living have it to come, in more men, only from the bottom nature in them than other things in them. Nothing of all the things all men have in them in their daily living comes in all men from the bottom nature of them. Eating, drinking, loving, anger in them, beginning and ending in them, come more from many men from the bottom nature of most of them than other things in them but always there are some men of all the millions of each kind of them who have it in them not to have even eating and drinking and doctoring and loving and anger in them and beginning and ending in them come from the bottom nature of them.
David Hersland had a mixture in him. He had as I was saying a big beginning in him a feeling of himself to himself of being as big as all the world around him. As I was saying he had a big beginning feeling in him all through his living to his ending. As I was saying his wife knew it about him in her feeling. She did not have it as a conscious thing in her in him but she felt it about him even before his children felt it in him, how far the nature in him would carry him.
As I was saying, in ways of eating, in ways of drinking, in ways of loving, in ways of letting anger come out from them about little things in their daily living, in ways of sleeping, in ways of doctoring, there is more, in strong middle living, of simple repeating than in other things in the middle living of vigorous active men and women. At the beginning of the ending of the middle living of vigorous active men and women, ways of thinking, ways of working, ways of beginning, ways of ending, ways of believing come to be in them as simple repeating.
In all men as I have been saying there are their own ways of being, in them. In some men some of their ways of being that more and more in their later living settle down into simple repeating some of their ways of being come from the bottom nature of them. There are some men of all the millions always being made of men there are some men who have only in them a bottom nature to them. From such men, and in all the millions of every kind of men some of the millions of each kind of them are such a kind of men they have in them only a bottom nature to them, all their ways of being come in such men, some of the millions of each kind of men, come all from the nature that makes their kind of men that makes the kind of men that have all of them in them as bottom nature in them their way of thinking, of eating, of drinking, of sleeping, of loving, of having angry feeling in them, their way of beginning and of ending. Every man has in him his own way of feeling about it inside him about his ways of doing the things that make for him his daily living; that is the individual feeling in him, that is the feeling of being to himself inside him, that is in many the feeling of being important to themselves inside them, that is in some men a feeling of being important to every one around them, that is in some men a feeling of being as big as all the world around them.
David Hersland was of such a kind of men, men who have sometime in them a feeling of being as big as all the world around them. David Hersland had a mixture in him. He mostly came all together from the bottom nature in him but there was in him too a mixture in him, and this made him, in his later living, full up with impatient feeling. There was in him a mixture in him but with him it made a whole of him.
As I was saying some men have it in them to be made altogether of the bottom nature that makes their kind of men. Some have it in them to have other nature or natures in them, natures that are the bottom nature to make other kinds of men, and this nature or natures in them mixes up well with the bottom nature of them to make a whole of them as when things are cooked to make a whole dish that is together then. Some have other nature or natures only as a flavor to them, the bottom nature is mostly the whole of them, some have other nature or natures in them that never mix with the bottom nature in them and in such ones the impulse in them comes from the bottom nature or from the other natures separate from each other and from the bottom nature in them, in some of them there is in them so little of the bottom nature in them that mostly everything that comes out from inside them comes out from the other nature or natures in them not from the bottom nature in them.
There are many things in every man in his living from his beginning to his ending. Some of the things in men have it in them to come more from the bottom nature of them than the other things in them but there are some men of the millions of every kind of men that have it in them to have almost nothing coming from the bottom nature of them. Some of the things in men have it to come from the bottom nature of men but there are some men of the many millions of every kind of men that have it in them to have nothing coming from the bottom nature of them. Some of the things in men have it in them to come more from the bottom nature of them, some of the things in men have it in them to come in more men not from the bottom nature of them. Some of the things in men have it in them to come more from the bottom nature of them but there are some men of the many millions of every kind of men that have it in them to have almost nothing coming from the bottom nature of them. There is from this on every kind of mixing in men. There is from that every kind of mixing and every kind of keeping separate of the natures in men; in some of the millions of every kind of men there is almost nothing in them in their living of the bottom nature of them, from that there is every kind of keeping separate and every kind of mixing of the natures in men to those millions of every kind of men who have in them only the bottom nature of their kind of men and have almost nothing in them of other kind of nature or natures in them. There is in men every kind of mixing and every kind of keeping separate of the natures in them. There are men who have nothing in them in their living of the bottom nature of them that makes their kind of men, there are men who have in them nothing of any nature in them excepting the bottom nature of them. There is from that every kind of mixing and every kind of keeping separate of the natures in men, from some men some of the millions of every kind of men with nothing in them in their living of the bottom nature of them to those millions of every kind of men who have in them only the bottom nature of their kind of men and have almost nothing in them of other kinds of nature or natures in them.
