There was then Mr. Hersland in the middle of his middle living, Mrs. Hersland in the beginning of the strongest time of being to herself inside her in her feeling, the three children in the first beginning in them of individual feeling. There were then the servants living in the house with them, a governess and near them in the small houses around them poor, for them, queer people to make for them their daily living.
They had foreign women as servants in the house with them when they could get them. Sometimes they could not get them They had three governesses in their whole living in Gossols before the children grew too old to have one. One was a foreign born, two were American. The seamstresses were always foreign American, sometimes it was the family near them, sometimes it was one in the part of Gossols where rich people mostly were living, and then there was another one not near them but who would come sometimes and stay in the house with them. Mrs. Hersland with all of them had her important feeling, she had it in getting them, in keeping them, and whenever she had to get rid of one of them. She had always in her with them an important feeling, sometimes she had an angry feeling with them, sometimes a resisting feeling, she never let any interfering come between her and her acting toward them, she was always of them and above them, she had all of her feeling of herself to herself from them.
Many women have a feeling of themselves inside them from servants around them. There are many ways of having such a feeling in them. This is a long history of one of them.
Many servants get to have in them something that is almost a craziness in them, many have a very lonesome feeling in them not a lonesome feeling of themselves inside them just a lonesome feeling that makes queer, sometimes a little crazy women of them. This is in many of them. The Irishwoman and one of the Italian women had this a little in them. This makes them good fun for children living in the house with them. The children tease them, they are good to children around them, they always have to be sent away all of a sudden. The Irishwoman and one of the Italians was of this kind of women. The other servants were always steady women, each with their own way of being in them and this is now a history of all of them. This is a history of them and the seamstresses and the governesses and any troubles any one of them had with the others living in the house with them. This is a history of all of them and of the kind of important feeling Mrs. Hersland had in her from all of them and of the feelings the children each one had for each one of them and the relation each one had to Mr. Hersland.
Mrs. Hersland then was of the kind of women who have resisting in them only with a feeling of themselves inside them, Mrs. Hersland was of the kind of women who have dependent independence in them, Mrs. Hersland was of the kind of women, though she had this to be in her so timidly inside her so gently within her that mostly nobody ever knew it to themselves about her, she had it in her to be of the kind of women to own those they need for loving, to subdue any one who needs them to be important to them. She was then of them who have it in them not to have weakness as the last bottom of them, not to have it in them that the last end of a bad thing cannot come to them, she could have an ending, she could feel this in her dying, she could feel it in her weakening, she could feel it in her children when they were big and struggling and she a gentle little woman was lost among them, she never had in her an important feeling from her children, she had it in the living in Gossols in that part where no other rich people were living.
There are then two kinds of women, there are those who have in them resisting and attacking, and a bottom weakness in them, women with independent dependence in them, women who are strong in attacking, women who sometimes have not bottom weakness in them, some who have in them bottom weakness in them and this inside is a strength in them when they have children when they have strong loving in them when it is in them in such of them a fine sensitive weakness inside them, there are then such ones of them women who need others around to love them before they have any power in them from the weakness in them, in such of them attacking is a power in them but not when they meet with real resisting, the bottom weakness in them is only a power in them when those around them love them, so only can these have any power in them; all these then all these women have not it in them mostly to believe that it never can come to them the last end of a bad thing to destroy them. All these then make one kind of the two kinds there are of women, the two kinds too there are then of men, and there are many kinds of such of them many strengths in them of this strength and weakness in them, many mixtures in them of the independence and dependence in them, many mixings and sometimes a mixing in the top of them with the other kind of nature of some men and women the dependent independent kind in men and women but more or less it is in them in all of this one kind of them it is in them to have independent dependence in them, it is in them to have attacking in them, to have aggressive optimism in them, to not believe the last end of a bad thing can come to them and destroy them, and then to have weakness as the bottom of them; and in many of them this weakness is all there is to them, in some of them attacking is all there is of them.
The other kind of women and there are many kinds of such of them in the many millions always of women, this other kind of them need to own the people around them when this nature is strong in them; they have many of them, a dependent patient way of living, but with the dependent nature in them they have never such of them, a feeling of themselves inside them, this comes out in them only with the bottom independence in them, when they feel themselves resisting, when it comes to them to own themselves inside them, when they own some one around them, some of such of them never have such a moment in their living, some of such of them never feel themselves inside them; there are then always many women living, there are then these two kinds of them, this is now a history of some of each kind of them, sometime there will be a history of all of each kind of them and that will then be a history of all women who are living, of all the many millions who ever were or will be living and then there will begin a history of all the men and the two kinds of them for there are in men the same two kinds of them like with women and it works out differently a little in them for they are men and have themselves mostly more inside them in their living, there are then these two kinds in women and in men and always every one is of one kind or the other kind of them.
In their middle living in that part of Gossols where no other rich people were living the Hersland family had with them only women in the house with them. As I was saying servants often have it in them to be a little queer and children like to tease them, they have this queerness from cooking, from cleaning and from their lonesome living, from their sitting in the kitchen, from having a mistress to direct them, and children to tease them; the Irishwoman and one of the Italian women that were cooking once for the Hersland family in their middle living had this queerness in them.
They had had then mostly in their living German women as servants in the house with them, sometimes they could not get them, once they had an Irishwoman, twice Italian women, once a Mexican. The Irish woman and one of the Italian women had a little queerness in them, the queerness that comes from being a servant and cooking and sitting alone in a kitchen and having a mistress to direct them and sometimes children to tease them, these had to be sent away all of a sudden.
Mostly the German women were very steady women, they did not have anything of such a queerness in them, sometimes the German girls they had with them were very young women and then Mrs. Hersland had to train them, some of such of them had natures in them that in their later living would come, from much kitchen sitting, from much directing of the mistress of the house to them, from much teasing from the children in the house with them, would come to make of them a queerness inside them that would make it come to them in their later living to be always sent away all of a sudden. In the early living of such ones they would not be sent away all of a sudden but the mistress of such ones would not then be sorry to lose them.
There were then as I was saying, when Mrs. Hersland could get them foreign servants in the house with them, there was always a governess in the house with them, there was often a seamstress staying in the house with them. There was always a man working in the garden but he never lived in the house with them.
As I was saying in most of their living they had German servants, but sometimes they could not get them, once they had an Irish woman cooking for them, twice Italian women and once a Mexican.
The German servants who lived with them mostly stayed a long time with them even those of them that were not altogether satisfying because until Mrs. Hersland had an angry feeling about some one she would never dismiss any one and angry feeling did not come to be in her very often. So mostly the servants stayed a long time with them, not those of them that had servant queerness in them, Mrs. Hersland never liked such a one, she wanted her servants so that she was of them and above them, she did not want them to have the kind of queerness in them that made strange beings of them, that always in a way made her afraid of them, servants were to Mrs. Hersland part of every day living, she never wanted them to have servant queerness in them, she was more then of them though always she was above them and she could come to have with such of them rightly an angry feeling.
Sometimes she would have young foreign girls or foreign American ones and she would train them, some of such of them would in their later living have servant queerness in them, mostly Mrs. Hersland did not keep such ones a long time, mostly she liked to have older women she felt herself more of them than with the young ones who needed to have her train them. She liked it better to have women who only needed directing and once in a while she would tell such a one how to cook something and with such of them she could feel of them and above them, she could with such ones have an injured feeling when they did something that was not right to her feeling, she could
Servant girl being is a kind of being that many millions of many kinds of women always have in them. Servant girl being in such of them is different from just servant being in other kinds of men and women. Servant girl being that is something of dirty or clean little girl being with the scared little lying always in such a one when there is much in their living and there always is in such ones of them for they need it to keep them going, to keep them cleaning, to keep them washing and working, to keep them from lying, much directing from the mistress living in the house with them, much teasing from children living in the house with them, much trouble with their loving so that nobody stops them when they go to their loving, much sitting in the kitchen with their hands so grimy nothing can clean them. Mostly such ones do not in their later living have servant queerness in them, they just get married most of them and just get old being that kind of them with many children always coming out of them and so they go on to their ending. Women who in all their living have this servant girl being in them are like in all women and always it is in all men and in all women that they have in them one of the two kinds of nature in them that is independent dependent or dependent independent nature in them. Servant girl nature in women then can be the independent dependent kind then with mostly only the dependent weakness in them with a scared dirty little girl crying and lying in them, mostly with nothing in them but the dependent scared weakness in them and no responsibility in them of being ever inside them and always a little in them and it mostly comes out in little tricks they have in them, little or much badness in them, a little of the attacking independent dependents always have in them. This is mostly in their living, in bad ones it can even come to stealing, mostly it is lying and finding ways to win to a ribbon, to moments in loving. Mostly when you catch hold of such a one by the arm to stop them there is not yielding, there is scared shrinking, there is lying, sometimes they do very good thinking, mostly in their later living a good many children come out from them, mostly they keep on working but always somebody is scolding them and this is a history of most of them.
As I was saying women with servant girl being inside them, not servant being that is a different kind of being that has not the grimy scared little girl lying as the bottom of them, such then have it in them to be of one kind or the other kind of them the independent dependent or the dependent independent kind of them. There is one kind of them who have a little attacking in them the independent dependent kind; in them that comes out in little tricks and little dirty lying in them sometimes in stealing and other badness in them, in moments of leaving by themselves all of a sudden from where they were working when they are sure they can do better then and then there is a little grimy defiance in them, this is all the attacking there is in them, this makes of them independent dependent creatures for them and there will be written down here a history soon of one of such of them. There are then many millions always made of such of them, with always a servant girl nature in them and the independent dependent kind of being in them, there are then always many millions of such ones of them and always everywhere in every kind of living one can find such of them. Mrs. Hersland had the training of such a one of them, Mrs. Hersland had rightly an angry feeling when this one tried to get another place with out telling any one she was leaving. Mrs. Hersland had rightly an angry feeling then, she sent her away and soon there will be told the history of this one.
