The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress (36 page)

BOOK: The Making of Americans, Being a History of a Family's Progress
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     There are then many things every one has in them and this is a history of all of them in some of them.

 

     As I said once almost every one has in them some kind of an impatient feeling, mostly every one has in them an anxious feeling and this is the way these work out in some.

 

     When you come to feel the whole of anyone from the beginning to the ending, all the kind of repeating there is in them, the different ways at different times repeating comes out of them, all the kinds of things and mixtures in each one, anyone can see then by looking hard at any one living near them that a history of every one must be a long one. A history of any one must be a long one, slowly it comes out from them from their beginning to their ending, slowly you can see it in them the nature and the mixtures in them, slowly everything comes out from each one in the kind of repeating each one does in the different parts and kinds of living they have in them, slowly then the history of them comes out from them, slowly then any one who looks well at any one will have the history of the whole of that one. Slowly the history of each one comes out of each one. Sometime then there will be a history of every one. Mostly every history will be a long one. Slowly it comes out of each one, slowly any one who looks at them gets the history of each part of the living of any one in the history of the whole of each one that sometime there will be of every one.

 

     There will then sometime be a history of every one who ever is or was or will be living, “mostly every history will be a long one, some will have a very little one, slowly it comes out of each one.

 

     Mostly then the history of any one as it slowly comes out of them will be a long one, this is a long history now of many of them.

 

     Every one then has in their living repeating, repeating of every kind of thing in them, repeating of the kind of impatient feeling they have in them, of the anxious feeling almost every one has more or less always in them.

 

     There is then a whole to living, mostly everybody has for this an anxious feeling, some have not any such anxious feeling to the whole of them, many have the anxious feeling in every minute of their living, every minute is a whole to them with an anxious feeling which each minute ends them.

 

     To many then in the history of all the kinds of them all the kinds of men and women who ever were or are or will be living, to some then and there are always many millions of them to some then the important thing is to have the history of all the kinds, the history of all the kinds that ever can be of men and women. To many and there are always many millions of such of them the important thing is to have written about every one around them the history of each one, the history of that one, of every man or woman who ever was or is or will be living for them, the history of each one as in their living from their beginning to their ending their history comes out from them. To some the important thing in them is their own history, the history of them and inside them, as in repeating it comes out of them. There are many men and women always living and to them the important thing in living is in the different parts of living the being babies, children or young going to be men and women, or grown young men and women, and growing older men and women and men and women in their middle living, and growing old men and women, and then the end of all of them; there are many millions then who always think and feel about all men and women in the parts of living and the kind of being every one has in them in those different parts of their living. There are then many millions who always feel this in them about others around them about themselves inside them, the important thing to all of such of them are the parts of living the being babies and children and young going to be men and women and growing older men and women, and middle aged men and women and growing old men and women and old men and old women and then that is the end of them in their worldly living. There are then many who feel this part living as the strongest thing in every one around them and in themselves inside them. There are then many millions, many many millions always living who want to know about what each one does all through his or her living, there are many who want to know about it in the history of every one what kind of feeling they had in them and how these feelings then came out from them in their living from their beginning to their ending. There are then many kinds of feelings in each one, there are many feelings in every one, there are many ways of having feelings coming out of them, there are many who want to know it about every one around them what feelings they have in them, how such feelings come out of them, there are many millions then of women and of men who always think about this about every one around them, they want to know the feelings in each one of them and how it comes out from them, what the feelings in each one make of the life of such a one. There are many kinds of ways every one has in them of doing everything in their daily living, there are many who want a history of all such ways in each one. There are many who want their kind of history of only a few of all the people ever living, there are some who want a history coming out only from inside them, there are some who want a history to come out only from those just around them, there are some who want history coming out from some who were never and will never be anywhere near them, there is every kind of choosing, mostly every one wants a history of some one, mostly every one wants some kind of a history of some. Some few are always living who want about each one who ever was or is or will be living a history of every bit of them, of every moment in their daily living, of every kind of feeling they have in them, of every bit of them that comes out in them in repeating, of all the feeling in them and how it comes out from them in all of them in each one of them from their beginning to their ending, of every kind of men and women who ever were or are or will be living, of every part of their being and how in each part of their living their being shows itself in them, of the feeling in each kind of them and how it shows in each one their kind of them, how it comes out in each one in every part of their living from their beginning to their ending; there are then some who want the whole history of every one, of the kind they are in them, of everything that makes them and ever can come out of them, of every bit of them in all their living; there are then always some living who want of each one such a history of them, there are some of such of them now living and sometime there will be written by all of such of them a history of every one.

 

     There are then many ways of having living inside one and having it come out from one, always then some one looks at each one, always the more one looks at every one the more one knows that sometime there will be a history of every one.

 

     There are then many ways of having impatient feeling in one, there are then many ways of having an anxious feeling in one, this is now the history of some of them and the servant queerness that comes out of some servants who have in them impatient feeling and anxious being and later in their living from much sitting alone in a kitchen, from much eating without any one being then with them or around them, from much cooking, from much directing from the mistress in the house with them and from being with the children living in the houses where they are working have such servant queerness come to be in them; there are then many women and many kinds of them who have sometimes servant queerness in them.

 

     There are then every kind of women among the servants working in every kind of kitchen. There are some who have in them servant girl nature as the bottom of them.

 

     The nature in every one is always coming out of them from their beginning to their ending by the repeating always in them, by the repeating always coming out from each one. Sometimes, often, one looking at some one forgets about that one many things one knows in that one, always soon then such a one brings it back to remember it about that one the things one is not then thinking by the repeating that is always in each one. Always then everybody is always repeating the whole nature of them and to any one who looks always at each one always the whole of that one one is then seeing keeps coming out of such a one. So any one can know about any one the nature of that one from the repeating that is the whole of each one. The whole of every one is always coming out in repeating. Always it is coming out of every one the whole nature of them in their daily living in the repeating each one has all the time in living. Every minute then in their living they are themselves inside them and they are repeating always and all the repeating together is the whole nature of every one coming out from them, coming out from them in their daily living, coming out from them in different ways in different moments of their living. Always then it is coming out of each one the whole nature of that one in the daily living of such a one in the repeating each one has all the time in living. Each minute then in the living of each one there is inside each one the being that makes that one and each one is repeating always this being that makes each one that one inside to that one and each one is repeating always and all the repeating together of each one is coming out always from each one, coming out from each one in the daily living each one is leading, coming out from each one in different ways in different moments of the living of each one.

 

     Servant queerness in all of them who have servant queerness in them comes out of such of them as the kind of nature in them; in each one having servant queerness in them it comes out of them by the nature of them, in the way they have always had in them impatient feeling and anxious feeling. Impatient feeling and anxious feeling has always been in each one of them in the way it was natural to their kind of them to such a one of their kind of them to have it in them and then it comes, the impatient feeling and anxious feeling, it comes to be that these get stronger and more mixed up in them then in such a one from their kind of living, from the kind of eating alone and drinking, from cooking and their kind of working, from sitting in a kitchen, it comes then that there is in such a one servant queerness in her being and the servant queerness is in her and comes out from her to make for her that kind of servant queerness that comes out of the nature in her.

 

     The servants then living with the Hersland family, those who stayed a long time with them were older foreign or foreign American women. One of these had servant girl nature in her, she had submission in her, she could have sometime resisting in her. This never came to be in her in her living with the Hersland family, with them she never had any resistance inside her. Mrs. Hersland never had with her an angry feeling, she went away at last to take care of a sick brother.

 

     There are then every kind of women among the women who are sometimes servants for some one. There are then every kind of women among foreign women among foreign American women who are servants sometime in their living to some one. Many of them have servant girl nature in them, many of them have servant nature in them, many of them have a mistress nature in them, many of them have a mixture in them; there are then all kinds of women nature among them. About half of all of them have in them of their kind of them independent dependent nature in them, they are the independent dependents of their kind of them, the rest of them the other more or less half of them the women living as servants sometime in their living have dependent independent nature in them, they are the dependent independents of their kind of them. The nature in each one makes a long history of each of them and sometime there will be a history of every one and the nature in them and how in their servant living the nature in them comes out from them.

 

     Mrs. Hersland got her important feeling of herself to herself from all of them from all the servants she ever had working for her or doing something for her in her living, Mrs. Hersland got her important feeling of herself to herself from all of them, from being of them and above them, from trying them, from directing them, from having in her sometimes from some of them an injured and an angry feeling, from having to arrange the relation of some of them to the governess living in the house at the same time. Some of them who had in them a certain mixture inside them never liked it that the governess was not of them and Mrs. Hersland had strongly then a feeling of herself to herself from making such a one understand the position a governess had and how a servant should behave toward such a one. Mrs. Hersland had then much important living with the servants, she never liked any one of them to have servant queerness in them, she never liked them to be so young that she needed to train them, she liked them to be older foreign or foreign American women, she liked to be of them and above them. Mostly she had very little trouble with them, sometimes she had troubles with the families of them, some of this will come out later in the daily living of the Hersland children in the history of each one.

 

     Mrs. Hersland had then sometimes troubles with the families of them. Mrs. Hersland had her important feeling from servants who were with her in her middle living. Mrs. Hersland had from some of them an injured feeling, Mrs. Hersland had with some of them an angry feeling, sometimes it was with one of them sometimes with some one of the family of one of them. Mrs. Hersland had in her nothing of impatient feeling, she could have in her an injured and a bright angry feeling. Once one foreign girl had come to her from some one in Bridgepoint who had sent her because she wanted to go and this friend thought she would be a good servant for Mrs. Hersland to have with her. The girl did not want to stay, she wanted to go back to Bridgepoint, she said Mrs. Hersland should help send her, Mrs. Hersland had then an angry feeling in her, she said she did not have to help send her. The girl said she would have to help a little to send her, Mrs. Hersland said she would either not give her anything to help her or she would pay everything for her, she never would help to send her away from her, she would pay the whole thing for her, it was not right but she would pay the whole thing for her, she would do it all or nothing for her, she did not have to do anything for her, she would do the whole thing for her. Mrs. Hersland had in her a bright angry feeling inside her, it was wrong that a girl should behave so toward her. Mrs. Hersland had then rightly an angry feeling in her. She paid everything for her. This was Mrs. Hersland with an injured feeling inside her and an angry feeling then in her. There was nothing in her of impatient feeling in her, with servants she had never anxious feeling in her, she had in her sometimes an injured feeling and then an angry feeling and then she would send the one that had given it to her away from her, then she would pay for some one all expenses for her, when she had in her an angry feeling inside her there was no half measure in her, often she only had an injured feeling in her; this time she had more angry than injured feeling in her. No one was then afraid of her, there was no terror in her anger for any one around her. Mostly she would then pay everything any one could in any kind of way ask of her to show them the right angry feeling in her.

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