The Marrying of Chani Kaufman (31 page)

A year seemed a long, long time to both of them. They grinned shyly at each other. Chani sighed. ‘I knew it. We're never really going to be free to decide for ourselves, are we?'

‘No,' said Baruch sadly. ‘But we'll do our best. Besides, we'll be new in Jerusalem and for a while that might give us a bit more space and privacy.'

‘And I only want a maximum of four.'

‘Four is plenty. Too many even!'

‘Really?'

‘Really.'

Marriage was improving by the minute. In all, he was not a bad catch. Mrs Levy had a point. She wiped her sticky hand on her gown and reached for his fingers. She stared down at how tiny her hand looked against his and giggled.

 

Later that morning, Baruch woke up in need of the lavatory. For a moment he did not know where he was. He stared up into the shadowy folds of the canopy and listened to the gentle snoring coming from the small huddle to his left. Chani. He moved carefully not wishing to wake her, but could not resist examining what she looked like when asleep. She was curled up on her left side, the covers pulled up to her chin. Her eyelids flickered in response to her dreams. What was she dreaming about? He hoped it was something pleasant. Her puckered mouth quivered with each inhalation. Her cheek was flushed and her mussed hair hid her forehead. She looked about twelve. He gently stroked away the hair glued to her skin. His wife. So she had stood up for him. She had given his mother what for.

His thoughts returned to the miserable events that had led to their first disagreement. He shivered. Baruch HaShem she had stayed. He would make it up to her. Even if it took a year to consummate their marriage. Well perhaps not a whole year. He had hoped to lose his virginity a little sooner. But Chani was the most important thing in his life now. He hoped in turn to be hers. He eased himself off the bed and made his way towards the bathroom when his left foot skidded on something soft and slippery. He found his balance and groped at the carpet, locating a slither of satin material. He opened the bathroom door and examined the fabric in the light.

A shocking pink bra. It could only be Chani's. He thought of her wearing it under her prim nightgown and began to feel aroused. He wished he had seen her in it. Perhaps he could ask her to wear it again for him sometime.

Perhaps.

November 2008 – London

The Rebbetzin crept up the back stairs leading to the women's gallery. The men's voices could be heard through the thick walls. A violin whined the first notes announcing the Kallah's entrance. She sprang nimbly up the last steps and found a discreet seat against the back wall. No one had observed her entrance. She fervently hoped that would remain the case. The first two rows of the gallery were crowded. Women craned forward, straining to catch a glimpse of the bride. Some had risen from their wooden seats and dared to lean over the balcony. Chani had entered the shul but the Rebbetzin's view of her progress to the wedding canopy was obscured.

Chaim would be somewhere beneath the chuppah. She wondered how he was, how he was feeling. How he looked. He usually enjoyed officiating at weddings and she hoped her behaviour had not spoilt his joy. A sense of shame and guilt spread through her. Of course it must have done. She shook her head, as if to eject the negative thoughts, trying to focus solely on Chani.

The women grew very still, prayer books forgotten, as they gazed at the bride gliding below. The chazan's voice rose mellifluously.

The Rebbetzin wished she could see her. Closing her eyes, she sent up a passionate prayer for Chani's future happiness, hoping that Chani's marriage would fare better than her own. And then, having done her duty, she slunk quickly from the gallery before she could be noticed.

The Sunday crowds surged like a sea in front of her. Taking a deep breath, the Rebbetzin plunged into the swaying tide. Her feet quickened and soon she kept pace. An onlooker could have just made out the familiar rigidity of her back and shoulders under her husband's old raincoat, her hair fluttering as she walked. And then her figure grew gradually smaller until finally she became an indistinct blur, one of the masses, alone in her ordinariness, pursuing her freedom.

 

Ashkenazi
– a Jew of East European descent

Baruch HaShem
– (exp) Blessed be God, thanks to God

Bedeken Room
– the room where a bride waits for her husband-to-be to verify she is the right girl

bimah (Hebrew)
– an elevated platform, a little like a pulpit, from which the Torah is read and sermons are given in synagogue

blintzes (pl.)
– fried, crispy pancakes stuffed with cream cheese or fruit or potatoes

Bobover
– member of Hasidic group within Charedi Judaism, hailing from Bobowa, Galicia (Southern Poland). Most of them now live in Brooklyn, New York.

brachot or broches (pl.)
– blessings

brocha
– a blessing

broiges (adj)
– sulky, moody – in a bad mood

B'srat HaShem
– please God (let this happen) . . .

Chanukiah
– the nine branched candelabra used during the winter festival of Chanukah

Charedi
– ultra-Orthodox

cholent
– a stew cooked overnight on a slow cooker from Friday afternoon and eaten on Saturday (Shabbes) for lunch

chollah
– sweet, white bread eaten on Shabbes

chuppah (Hebrew)
– the wedding canopy a wedding party gathers under for the ceremony

daven
– pray

Fahr-Shpiel
– an afternoon of humorous sketches, songs and games put on by the female friends of the bride to entertain her, shortly before her wedding day

frum
– religious, observant (adj)

frummer/frummah
– a religious person – can be used for a man or woman

ganif
– thief

gaon
– genius, great scholar

goses
– someone who is at death's door

goy (male) / goya (female)
– a non-Jew (can be derogatory – but can also just mean ‘other', as in someone who is simply not Jewish)

goyim
– non-Jews

goyishe (adj)
– non-Jewish, not Jewish

haimisher (adj)
– homely, traditional

hasanah
– a wedding

HaShem (Hebrew)
– God (literally ‘the Name')

Hasid
– a follower of the pious Hasidic sect. Hasidism is generally thought of as a happy, exuberant and positive teaching, where followers display their love for God and the Torah through joyful song, dance and passionate prayer. The other side of the coin is fanaticism and rigidity – where stones and bottles are hurled at those who transgress (eg by driving a car on Shabbes). The men are dressed in long black coats, white shirts with no ties and wide-brimmed black hats. They have full beards and many have ear-locks.

Has veh Sholem! (exp)
– God forbid!

Hossen
– bride-groom

Im yirtzeh HaShem
– if God wills it

Kaddish
– mourner's prayer for the dead

Kallah
– the Bride

kehilla
– the frum community

keine hora
– expression used to ward off the evil eye / envy

Kiddush wine
– special kosher wine used for blessings

kippah or kippot (pl)
– the Hebrew word for a skull-cap that a boy/man wears to cover his head in the presence of God

kneidele
– dumplings served in soup

kosher
– 1. fit to eat according to religious, dietary laws or 2. legitimate or 3. genuine

kvell
– to glow with pride

kvetch
– to complain or fuss

lokshen pudding
– a pudding made out of noodles and sultanas

mache
– a big shot, an important, powerful person in the community

mechitzah
– movable barrier made from screens used to separate men from women at religious and social events

meshuggah / meshugganeh
– both are variations on ‘crazy/crazy person'

mezuzah
– small, oblong box containing the Shemah (holiest prayer written on a tiny prayer scroll) fixed to a door frame, used to bless the house and its inhabitants upon entry

mikveh
– the ritual bath for women

mincha
– afternoon prayers

mishpocheh
– family

miskenah
– a person who deserves our pity – literally ‘poor thing'

mitzvah
– a good deed in the eyes of God

mitzvot (pl)
– good deeds in the eyes of God

mazel tov!
– congratulations!

mensch
– man of fine qualities, a good human being

naches
– the sense of pride and affection you get from your children and their accomplishments

nebbuch
– fool, also an exp of sympathy, as in ‘poor thing'

niddah (adj)
– when a woman is menstruating/ bleeding due to miscarriage or birth and is forbidden to a man

nu?
– well? so?

oy vey!
– Oh dear! Oh dear!

peyos
– side-curls worn by orthodox Jewish men and boys

Rabbi/rebbi
– spiritual leader and teacher

rachamim
– pity

Rebbetzin
– the rabbi's wife

rogellach
– sweet pastries

sem
– short for seminary, a religious college for girls – the equivalent of a yeshiva for men

Sephardi
– Jew of Spanish/Portuguese/Moroccan origins

Shabbes
– the holiest day and time of the Jewish week, from sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday. Shabbat – modern Hebrew for Shabbes

shadchan
– match-maker

sheitel
– the wig a married woman wears to cover her real hair and preserve her modesty. A married woman's real hair is only for her husband's eyes

Shemah
– holiest prayer in Judaism, one all Jews know

Shevah Brachot
– the 7 dinners spread over a week that a newly wed couple must attend in their honour to keep them separate after their wedding night because the Bride has bled following the loss of her virginity and is therefore considered ‘forbidden' to her husband until the bleeding has stopped

shidduch
– an arranged blind date, usually orchestrated by a match-maker

shiksah
– non-Jewish woman (derogatory)

shiur (Hebrew)
– a lesson on the Torah or other spiritual matters

shivah (Hebrew)
– the traditional mourning period of a week, where mourners come to visit the house of the deceased to pay their respects

shloomp
– frump or slovenly person

shnippsy
– small and skinny

shomer nageah
– the law observed by religious Jews of not touching the opposite sex unless they are your spouse

shoyket
– butcher

shtiebel
– a small, neighbourhood synagogue – often the building is an ordinary house, where men gather to pray – unlike the large, purpose-built, official synagogues.

shul
– synagogue

siddur
– prayer book

simcha (Hebrew)
– a happy occasion, like a wedding or a barmitzvah

Simchat Torah
– a joyous, giddy religious celebration that marks the completion of reading of the Torah for that year and the beginning of reading it again for the new Year.

spilkes
– on tenterhooks with suspense/restlessness/fidgetiness

tallis
– a large striped prayer shawl with tied fringes worn by men only. Even very young Orthodox boys, will wear a thin undershirt with tied fringes (tzizzit) against their skin, from the moment they wakes until they undress for bed. The tied fringes are left dangling on the outside, visible to the world. The knots are specifically tied and are always the same number, giving a mystical significance to the garment.

Talmud
– basic body of Jewish law and tradition studied at yeshiva

tefillin
– leather phylacteries that an observant, male Jew binds to his forehead and left forearm during morning prayers

toches
– bum

treif/trayf
– non-kosher

tzaddik
– righteous man

tzaddikim
– righteous men

tzedakah
– charity

tzimmes
– a stew-like accompaniment of fruit or vegetables

tzurris
– worries, troubles

yarmulke
– the skull-cap a boy wears to cover his head in the presence of God (Yiddish)

yeshiva
– religious college for men (after school)

yeshiva bocher
– a talented yeshiva scholar

Yiddishe
– Jewish

Yiddishkeit
– Jewishness