THE MAVERICK DOCTOR AND MISS PRIM/ABOUT THAT NIGHT... (24 page)

So why couldn’t he sleep at night?

Why was the sight of Violet lying in his arms racking him with guilt?

Because deep down he knew he was going to have that conversation with her at some point.

He couldn’t live with himself otherwise.

He was going to have to tell her his fears about Helen’s death. That if he’d been more in tune with his team, he could have prevented it.

That would shatter anything that was building between them stone cold dead.

And the last thing he wanted to do right now was spoil it.

But it was eating away at him every day. He couldn’t enjoy himself with Violet. He couldn’t embrace the relationship the way he should because of the thought of what he had to do.

How would she feel about him then?

He didn’t even want to think about that. He was acting like a coward. And that was one thing Evan Hunter definitely was not.

Two weeks had passed.

Two weeks of long days and even longer nights. He wasn’t even attempting to hide to anyone that he and Violet were an item. Neither of them was waking up early in the morning to creep back to their own room. Violet sat beside him at most of the briefings, letting their hands brush and giving him little smiles.

She wasn’t outwardly affectionate. That just wasn’t Violet. But she wasn’t employing any of her past avoidance tactics.

And it felt good. Or it would feel good if he could let it.

She was still a little closed off. She’d let him know very little about her past. He naturally didn’t ask her about Sawyer. But she seemed quite private, only mentioning a couple of close friends and nothing about any past relationships.

If he could get his head round his own problems, he might eventually delve a little deeper. He stared down at her face. She was lying tucked under his arm, one hand on his chest. Her naked breasts were rising and falling peacefully as she slept. Her blond hair was fanned over his shoulder. And she looked so peaceful. So calm.

He really didn’t want to do anything to wreck it.

There was gentle knock at the door. “Evan? I need to speak to you a minute, please.”

He was instantly wide awake. No one had ever disturbed him at night before. It must be something serious.

He slid his arm out from under Violet and grabbed the nearest shirt and trousers he could find. He opened the door and took a step outside into the hall.

Ben, one of the Healthy World Federation members of the team, looked worried.

“What’s wrong? Has something happened?”

He nodded. “We’ve had some news. There’s been a report of an attempted kidnapping of a health worker in the next state. All organizations are currently reviewing the safety of their staff. You’re wanted on the phone.”

Evan felt his heart rate quicken. They’d been briefed about the dangers before they’d arrived. But so far nothing untoward had affected them.

He walked into the control room and took the satellite phone.

“It’s Evan Hunter, what can I do for you?”

He listened for a few minutes, making notes and asking questions. “Where, exactly? Do you know who was responsible? Is there any indication that the trouble will spread? What about the safety of my team? No, no. There have been no signs of trouble locally. How often will this be reviewed? And the other team, have they been safely withdrawn? Yes, yes, I understand. Please keep me updated. Thanks.”

He replaced the phone and stared at the wall in front of him. He hated to think that any health staff or community workers were at risk. Even though there was no immediate risk to his staff, the thought of anyone being harmed or in danger made him feel sick to his stomach.

Helen had been a friend—a colleague. And even six years on he hadn’t learned to live with that guilt.

Was that the reason he’d never managed to form a decent relationship? It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried. But six years was a long time to never manage more than a few dates at a time. To always wonder if he deserved to be living the life that one of his colleagues wasn’t.

But what if something happened to Violet? He couldn’t stand that. It didn’t even bear thinking about.

Ben touched his shoulder. “What did they say?”

Evan shook his head. “I’ll need to give a briefing to the staff later. The other team has been withdrawn. Shots were fired and attempts were made to kidnap one of the doctors. It was in the next state, but they’re not sure if the conflict could spill over. We’ve got to be very cautious in the next few days. We need to make sure we know where everyone is, at all times.”

He pointed to the equipment lying on the table next to them. “Everyone has got to wear one of the GPS transmitters. Usually only one of the team members needs one, but we’re going to have to review that situation and make it clear.”

Ben nodded. “Whatever you think is best, Evan.”

Evan walked over the wall and looked at the maps. “We’re going to change our pattern over the next few days. Leave the villages nearest the border. We’ll concentrate on those closest to us, until we’re sure the situation is under control.”

His brain was whirring. It didn’t matter that it was the middle of the night. He was instantly awake and there was no way he could go back to sleep now.

It was one of the joys of being a doctor. That instant adrenaline buzz in the middle of the night that kept you awake, even when your body was telling you it wanted to be tucked up in bed. It happened frequently as an intern, and constantly as you progressed up the scale.

His eyes focused on the wall. Was there anything else he could do? How else could he ensure the safety of his staff? Nothing else seemed to be jumping out at him. It was the best he could do for now. What he really wanted to do was ship Violet out on the nearest plane, sending her back to Atlanta, out of harm’s way.

But there was no way she would let him do that.

So he was just going to have to try and make things as safe as he could.

Because losing Violet just wasn’t an option.

CHAPTER NINE

V
IOLET
 
THUDDED
 
DOWN
 
at the table. “What are you eating?” Her eyes were sparkling and her face flushed. Just the way she looked when was happy, or excited, or when they...

No. He had to stop thinking like that every time he was around Violet. It was becoming addictive.

He concentrated on the matter at hand. “Stew.” He held up a forkful. It looked a little unconventional but the smell was great. “Where have you been?”

“On the phone.” She grabbed a fork and scooped up a bit of his stew. “Yum.”

“On the phone with who?”

The smile stayed fixed on her face. “Sawyer.”

He winced. Sawyer again. The man was haunting his every move. For someone who had barely made contact with his sister—only the occasional call or text—for the past six years, he seemed to have renewed their connection with vigor. “What did he want this time?” He couldn’t hide the tone of his voice. He would prefer never to hear Sawyer’s name again.

Violet put the fork back on the table. He’d seen the flash in her eyes at his wince. She seemed to be taking her time before replying. Her cool green eyes met his. “Things are going well. The director has asked Matt to come back. He hasn’t decided yet, but he’ll need to make his mind up soon because Callie’s handed in her notice.”

Evan was shocked. Callie Turner was one of the most dependable doctors he’d worked with at the DPA. He couldn’t believe she would want to leave. What had Sawyer done to upset her? It was instant—the thought that Sawyer must have something to do with this. Callie had always seemed happy at the DPA.

His stomach churned at the thought of having to work with Sawyer again every day. The thought of having a constant reminder of something he was doing his best to forget.

“What position has the director offered him?”

He was irritated. The director had shipped him off to the middle of nowhere and it sounded as if he was offering Matt Sawyer a tailor-made position.

Why couldn’t Violet be someone else’s sister?

Her voice remained steady but he could see something else going on behind her eyes. She shrugged her shoulders, “Consultancy. Lecturing. Whatever he’ll agree to. Sounds like the director just wants to get him back on board.”

She glared at him. “Why do you always automatically go against my brother? Callie and Sawyer are together. I didn’t know this before, but Callie never wanted to work at the DPA. She had a sister who died in a car accident. They were going to work at the DPA together. I worked with Callie for three years and never knew that.” She glared at Evan again. “Sawyer connected with Callie. He’s given her the confidence to go after what she really wants—family practice.”

“Callie Turner? Family practice?” He couldn’t believe his ears.

“Yes, that’s what she wants.” Violet’s voice had a determined edge to it. She was getting annoyed with him, but he couldn’t help his responses.

Or maybe he didn’t want to. This Sawyer thing was always going to hang over their heads. It was always going to be the monkey on his back.

The thought repeated itself in his head again.
Why couldn’t Violet be someone else’s sister?

It was beginning to eat away at him. It was beginning to find its way into all the good times he was having with Violet. Hanging over his head, waiting to crash down on top of them.

“And what does Sawyer get out of this?” It was still there. The hostility in his voice. Undisguised.

The expression on Violet’s face changed. She looked off to the side. “A chance to be happy. A chance to have a life again.” She sighed. “Everyone deserves a happy-ever-after, Evan. Even my brother.”

She was mad. The words were gentle, but he could see the glint in her eye. Why did he do it? Why couldn’t he just smile and nod glibly when she mentioned her brother?

Why couldn’t he just forget about Sawyer and the fact he got all uptight every time he heard the name? Every time he remembered the circumstances they’d been in.

Every time he felt the guilt wash over him again.

But Violet had obviously reached the point of no return. “Enough is enough, Evan. I asked Sawyer about you, you know.”

Evan felt his heart jump in his chest. “What? Why did you do that?”

“Because I want to bang your heads together. Neither of you will tell me what the issue is between you. Neither of you will really tell me what happened out there.” She steadied her gaze and lowered her voice. “This can’t go on, Evan. How can we have anything together when you seem to hate someone I love so much?”

She was right. He knew she was right. His animosity toward her brother was killing this relationship stone dead.

But what if he told her the truth? Surely that would just give them the same fate? “What did he say?” he mumbled.

“He said Helen died and he was angry. He said you both have some—” she held her fingers up “—unresolved issues.”

Unresolved issues. Well, that was one way to put it.

This was conversation he couldn’t have. This was a conversation he wasn’t ready for. He stood up, pushing his chair away, and walked from the dining room, out into the early evening sun.

Violet’s footsteps hurried out behind him. “What? What just happened? I don’t get this. Will you tell me what went on?”

“Just leave it, Violet.”

“No!” She was shouting now. “I won’t leave it! Why won’t anyone talk about this? What happened out there? You know what? Helen was my sister-in-law and I loved her. She was perfect for Sawyer and made him very happy. I thought he was set for life. I thought they would grow old together. And then this...” She flung her arms wide.

“This happens and everyone comes back close-lipped. My brother barely functioning. Well, you know what, Mr. Team Leader? I’ve had enough. Helen was my family and I have a right to know what happened out there.” She poked a finger into his chest. “And I mean besides the fact that she had an ectopic pregnancy and died. I want to know the other stuff—the stuff that you and my brother won’t talk about.”

Evan couldn’t listen anymore. Everything was building up inside him like a tidal wave. Every pent-up emotion, feeling and load of guilt that he’d ever experienced.

It was too late. He couldn’t hold on to this any longer.

“He must have known! Sawyer must have known Helen was pregnant! He let her go out there and put herself at risk!” He was shouting now but he couldn’t help it.

Violet’s face paled. She looked shocked. “What? Why on earth would you think that? That’s ridiculous.”

“Really? This is Sawyer and Helen we’re talking about here. I’ve never seen a couple so connected. So in tune with each other. How could he possibly not have known?”

Violet shook her head fiercely. “Are you crazy? Helen didn’t even know—and if she didn’t know, how could Sawyer?”

Evan crossed his arms across his chest. “I don’t believe that. I’ve
never
believed that.”

Violet started to get angry. “What do you mean, you never believed that? You think my brother and his wife deliberately put the mission in jeopardy? Helen knew she was pregnant but didn’t tell anyone because she didn’t want to be taken off the duty rota?”

When Violet put it into words it sounded ridiculous. But, then, he’d never been able to think rationally about any of this.

“Well, she and Sawyer never wanted to be apart. Would that really be such a leap of faith?”

Violet was furious. “Of course it would.” She nearly spat the words at him. “This is Helen you’re talking about, Evan. Did you really know her at all? How can you even think that?”

His mind started to spin. Why had he said anything at all? He should have kept his mouth shut. This couldn’t end well.

Violet folded her arms across her chest. “Evan, do you keep a note of when I have my period?”

“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” The question caught him sideways. He knew exactly what she was implying.

“Why is that ridiculous? We’ve been sleeping together for a few weeks now. You mean you aren’t marking it on the calendar? Why not? You obviously expected my brother to.”

“Of course I didn’t!” he snapped.

“But, in essence, that’s what you’re saying. That my brother should have noticed that his wife had missed her period. They were both busy professional people. But you expected them to be counting up the days?” She shook her head. “I don’t know anything about my sister-in-law’s cycle. It wasn’t the kind of conversation we used to have. But what if Helen had irregular periods? How could either of them have known she was pregnant? She would only have been two or three weeks late. Maybe she didn’t even think she was late at all. Or maybe, with all the planning for the mission, it just hadn’t crossed their minds.”

Her voice tailed off. She was right. He had known Helen. He’d known her well and respected her. She would never have deliberately lied. Even to be with her beloved Sawyer. Deep down he’d always known that.

But that threw all his beliefs out of the window.

No, that threw all his
excuses
out of the window.

Finally, he had to stop blaming Sawyer. He had to stop pushing the blame onto someone other than himself.

He slid down the wall and put his head in his hands.

“Evan?”

He could hear that Violet was confused. He could hear by the tone of her voice. The way it had quieted. The way her anger had quickly dissipated.

He felt her hand on his wrist. She was kneeling down next to him. “Evan, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Violet started babbling. Filling the air around about them. “No one knew, Evan. No one knew that Helen was pregnant. It was horrible. And I’m sure it must have destroyed you all. Knowing that if you’d been back home, chances are that Helen would have been fine. But it was one of those things you couldn’t have known. It was one of things that no one could have predicted.”

Her words cut him to the bone. She had no idea what she was saying to him. Her warm fingers were wrapped around his wrist. Her other hand was on the top of his knee. He had to tell her.

He couldn’t keep quiet anymore. The guilt was going to eat him alive.

But telling her would destroy any chance of them having a relationship. Any chance at all. How could she have a relationship with the man responsible for her sister-in-law’s death? The man who could have made a difference?

Things could be so different for Violet’s family. Sawyer would still have Helen. Violet wouldn’t have experienced an estranged relationship with her brother for the past six years. She wouldn’t have had sleepless nights and days fraught with worry.

All because of him. All because he should have paid attention. All because he should have uttered a few words, asked a simple question.

It could have made the whole world of difference.

If only he’d done it.

He raised his eyes to meet hers. This was the most painful thing he would ever have to do. “I knew.”

“What?”

This thing with her brother was never going to go away and she was getting tired of it. She was getting tired of pretending not to be relieved she finally knew where her brother was and what he was doing.

Her heart was singing for her brother right now. He’d finally met someone to put a little light into his life and she was very happy for him. What’s more, he’d met someone she liked and respected. She couldn’t have wished for anything more.

Except for Evan.

She’d finally moved on. She’d finally taken the step of having a relationship again. And for the most part, it was good. No, it was great.

Her stomach flipped every time she saw him, every time he looked at her. His smile made her think impure thoughts. His touch drove her wild.

And for the first time in a long time she felt good. Good about herself. Good about the world around her.

Hopeful.

Hopeful that there was still a life out there worth living.

It didn’t matter that this thing with Evan might not last. It didn’t matter that chances were they were using each other as a distraction while they were in Africa.

So, why this? Why now?

She just didn’t get it. She didn’t get the animosity he felt toward her brother. She didn’t get any of this.

Her skin prickled. The hairs on her arms stood upright. There was something about what he’d just said. The way he’d just said it.

“What do you mean, Evan? What do you mean, you knew? Knew what?”

She could feel herself instantly building a wall around herself. Her self-protection mechanism was kicking in. Telling her to run. Telling her this couldn’t be good.

His eyes were hidden under his heavy eyelids. Struggling to look at her.

She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t swallow.

“About Helen.” His voice was so low, so husky. He struggled to get those two words out.

A horrible sensation went down her spine. She instantly pulled her hands back, drawing away from him. “You knew what about Helen?” The thoughts were starting to form in her brain. She was trying to rationalize what she’d heard. “You knew she was pregnant?” No. He couldn’t have. It wasn’t possible.

He shook his head.

“Evan. Look at me.” She couldn’t stand the way he couldn’t look her in the eye. This wasn’t the man she knew. Evan Hunter didn’t shy away from anything. So why couldn’t he lift his head from his hands to look at her?

The frustration was overwhelming her. She reached over and yanked at one of his hands. “Look at me!”

He raised his eyes. They were laden with regret and guilt. What had he done? Had there been some cover-up at the DPA? Was that why no one was talking?

She couldn’t bear the thought of that.

“Helen. She told me she wasn’t feeling one hundred percent.”

“What?”

He stopped to swallow. “While we were getting ready for the mission. I was packing up equipment and checking the inventory. She told she wasn’t feeling great.”

“And what?”

He shook his head. “That’s just it—and nothing. I wasn’t paying attention. I had too much on my mind. I didn’t think anything else about it.”