The Mirror of Her Dreams (42 page)

He took her aback. His demeanour was frightening: intimations of danger suddenly filled the air.

'Is he missing?'

'Missing? Nonsense. Why would he be missing? I only want to know if you have spoken to him at any time today-at any time since I separated you.'

Terisa took a deep breath, tried to steady herself. 'What's going on?'

Half snarling, Quillon demanded, 'My lady,
have you spoken to him?'

'No,' she retorted defensively. 'I haven't seen him. I haven't spoken to him. What's going on?'

Master Quillon glared at her for a moment. Then he sighed, 'Good,' and his face relaxed a little. 'That is good.' But his gaze didn't release her.

'My lady, you heard a great deal in the meeting of the Congery. And I will venture to guess that you heard a great deal more from Master Eremis. You must not speak of these matters to Geraden. You must tell him
nothing.'

'What?' A pang went through her: alarm closed around her stomach. She had been looking forward to seeing him again, to spending the day with him, to telling him everything, 'Why?' He's the only one I can talk to!

'Because,' the Master articulated distinctly, 'that is the only way we can keep him alive.'

'What?'

'As long as he is ignorant, his enemies may not risk exposure by killing him. If you tell him what you know, he will surely act on it. Then he will become too dangerous, and he will be killed.'

'Killed?' She was reeling inwardly. The floor and the lamplight seemed to tilt. 'Why would anybody want to kill him?'

'My lady,' he returned heavily, 'it must be obvious to you that your presence here cannot be an accident. You were translated through a glass which could not have been used for that purpose.

How was that done? No mistake or blunder can explain it. You insist that you are not responsible. Then who is?

'My lady, you are important.' Abruptly, Master Quillon turned and began to push his way back through the wardrobe. His voice was obscured by clothes. 'Geraden is crucial.'

For a moment, she stared after him while he entered the passage and closed the door, cutting off the light. Then she wrenched herself into motion. The thought that Geraden's life depended on her silence was so sharp that it nearly made her cry out. Thrusting garments aside, she reached the door and jerked it open.

Master Quillon was on the stairs below her. He turned at the noise she made, looked up at her. The angle of the lamplight left shadows like pools of darkness in his eyes. 'My lady?'

'Who are his enemies?'

She couldn't see his expression. His voice was flat. 'If we knew that, we would be able to stop them.'

Before she could speak, he turned away again and continued his descent. His silhouette twitched like a marionette.

'Who are his friends?'

The echoes of Master Quillon's feet didn't answer.

When she could no longer hear his sandals on the stair, or be sure of the glow of his lamp, she left the passage. Closing the door, she wedged the chair against it again.

After a while, she went back to bed.

By the next morning, she had made at least one decision.

She wasn't going to talk to Geraden.

Unfortunately, that wouldn't be as easy as it sounded. Her desire to confide in him was strong. And she knew he would be hurt by her silence.

In order to protect him, she would have to avoid him for a while.

So she got up early. Despite her inexperience, she managed to build up the fires in her hearths. Gritting her teeth against the cold, she bathed thoroughly. Then, defying the awkwardness of clothes that hadn't been designed to be put on without help, she struggled into a demure, dove-grey gown which, she hoped, would enable her to blend into the background.

She intended to ask Saddith for a tour of Orison-as complete a tour as possible. If she were occupied doing something Geraden didn't expect and couldn't predict, and if she were camouflaged against accidental discovery, she might win herself a day's respite from choices and crises.

Getting dressed alone took some time, however. When she was done, she didn't have to wait long for breakfast. Saddith soon knocked on her door and entered when it was unbolted, bringing a tray of food with her. Today she appeared a bit more cheerful-or perhaps a bit more highly spiced-than usual: there was more sauce in her smile, more zest in her step. On impulse, Terisa said, 'You look happy. Did you have another night with that Master of yours? Or have you found someone better?'

'Why, my lady,' Saddith protested, fluttering her eyelashes, 'whatever do you mean? I am as chaste as a virgin.' Then she grinned. That is to say, I am as chased as most virgins dream of being.'

Giggling at her own humour, she began to set out Terisa's breakfast.

As she ate, Terisa proposed the idea of a tour. The maid agreed at once. 'However,' she said, studying Terisa critically, 'we must first repair your dress. If it was your intention to appear as if you had spent the night in your gown, wrestling for virtue, you have succeeded. Really, my lady, you must let me assist you with such things.'

'I didn't think it was that bad.' Terisa was in a hurry to get going: she didn't want to take the chance that Geraden was on his way to see her. But a closer look at the gown convinced her that Saddith was right. Wryly, she assented to the maid's ministrations.

That was a mistake. Saddith took only a few minutes to adjust and refasten the gown; but as she finished there was another knock at the door.

Terisa's heart sank. She wasn't ready for this. Was she going to have to lie to him? She didn't think she could bear to lie to him.

Saddith, of course, had no idea what was in Terisa's mind. With a sprightly step, she left the bedroom to answer the door. Terisa heard her say in a teasing tone, 'Apt Geraden, what a surprise. Have you come to repay me for my help yesterday? For that we must have privacy. Or do you mean to spurn me, preferring my lady Terisa?'

Geraden's laugh sounded a little uncomfortable. 'Come now, Saddith. You can do better than me. In fact, you
do
do better than me. The best
I
can do is ask the lady Terisa to talk to me. Is she free?'

'Geraden,' Saddith answered with mock severity, 'no woman
is free.'

Chuckling to herself, she returned to the bedroom, where Terisa waited as though she were cowering. 'My lady, Apt Geraden is here. He will be better company than I for an exploration of Orison. He is male, even if he is awkward, easily embarrassed, and only an Apt. I will leave you to him.'

No, Terisa tried to say. Please. But Saddith was already on her way out of the room. She aimed another riposte at Geraden and closed the door behind her.

For a moment, Terisa remained where she was, wishing stupidly that she knew how to swear. But she couldn't stand there, paralysed, forever. Eventually, Geraden would come a few steps farther into the sitting room, and then he would see her. Feeling at least as abashed as she ever had in front of the barracuda-like young men whom her father had tried to interest her in-trying to marry her off so that he would no longer be bothered with her -she left the bedroom.

Geraden's grin nearly ruined her good intentions: he looked so happy to see her that she wanted to break down immediately and tell him everything. It was all she could do to glance at him and force her mouth into a smile.

'I'm sorry I didn't get to see you again yesterday,' he began at once; he couldn't swallow the pleasure bubbling up in him. 'I don't know what came over Master Quillon. He isn't usually that unreasonable. He took me down to his private workshop and put me to work grinding sand, of all things. That job is so menial and mindless even new Apts don't usually have to do it. Then the message came that Prince Kragen was here and King Joyse was going to give him an audience. I thought that would save me. Despite whatever came over him, Master Quillon wouldn't expect me to go on grinding sand at a time like that.'

He grimaced. 'I was right, as usual. I didn't have to grind any more sand. Instead, he handed me instructions for the most complex tinct I've ever heard of and told me to prepare it three different ways. 'For experimental purposes.' Some Masters never let Apts do work that sophisticated. And it's been years since
any
Master gave me a job like that. I didn't know whether to be grateful or cut my throat.

'Anvway, I didn't finish until after midnight, I'm still not sure I got any of them right.

'I guess I missed all the excitement.'

Terisa's throat felt like cotton wadding. She swallowed roughly. 'You must have heard about it.'

He nodded slowly, studying her: the strangeness of her manner cooled his ebullience. 'Did you really play hop-board against Prince Kragen?'

Unable to face him, she went to the window. The clear sky of the previous evening was gone: now low clouds as heavy as stone covered the castle and the surrounding hills, making everything grey. In that light, the gown she had chosen seemed as drab as her spirit.

'Yes.'

Geraden whistled his appreciation. 'Amazing! And he didn't know the game. How did you manage to manoeuvre him into a stalemate?
That
was impressive. The Alend Monarch ought to give you a title for treating his honour with so much courtesy.' Then his tone darkened. 'Judging by the rumours, that was the most intelligent thing anybody did in that disaster. If King Joyse had half your sense, there would still be hope for us.'

Oh, Geraden. Hating herself for what she had to do, she took advantage of the opening he had unintentionally given her, the chance to deflect-or at least postpone-his inevitable questions. Without turning her head, she said bitterly, 'But that's the point, isn't it? He doesn't have any sense. As far as I can tell, he arranged that whole audience for just one reason-to make fun of the Prince. He
wants
a war with Alend.'

Then she did turn, forcing herself towards him because she was ashamed. 'Geraden, why are you loyal to him? Maybe he was a great king once-I don't know. But there's none of that left.' She spoke as if during the audience she had been capable of refusing the King's smile-as if she could have refused it now. 'Why don't you give him up?'

The quick hurt in his eyes made her want to run into the bedroom and hide her head under the pillows. Lamely, she concluded, That's why the Masters don't trust you. Because you're loyal to him, and nobody can understand why.'

'Is that what they told you?' he retorted at once. They don't trust me because I still like to serve my King? I thought it was because I haven't done anything right since I was nine years old.'

Stung, she returned to the window, leaning her forehead against the cold glass to cool the pain. Not talk to him? Not tell him the truth? How could she do that, even to save his life?

'I'm sorry,' she heard him say, chagrined by her reaction. 'I didn't mean it that way. This is just a sore point for me. As you can probably tell.

'But I have the strongest feeling-' He stopped.

She waited, but he didn't go on. Finally, she asked, 'What is it this time?'

As if the words were being forced out of him by a deep but involuntary conviction, he replied, 'I have the strongest feeling he knows what he's doing.'

'Oh, Geraden!' She couldn't restrain herself: she faced him again, showing her irritation plainly. 'Do you really think that starting a war with Alend is
wise!
Do you think that's a
good
answer to Mordant's problems?'

'No,' he admitted glumly. 'I've already told you my feelings are always wrong. I just can't ignore them.' After another hesitation, he said, 'I haven't told you about the first time I met him.'

Thinking she knew what was coming, Terisa winced inwardly. 'Would you like to sit down?'

'No, thanks.' His manner was abstracted: his mind was on the story he meant to tell. 'I spent too many hours yesterday hunched over a mortar. My back still hurts.' He began to pace slowly back and forth in front of her.