The Mystery of Silas Finklebean (3 page)
“Well, I guess we came to the right place for answers,” joked Howie.
At the front desk they asked the elderly librarian for information about the history of Pookesville. She brought out a book, stamped the checkout page, and handed it to Freddy.
“No one’s checked out that book in a long time,” she said. “What are you two boys looking for?” she asked.
“Freddy thought he saw a ghost —” began Howie before Freddy clamped a hand over his mouth and dragged him to a table in a deserted part of the library.
Freddy read the title of the book aloud to Howie.
“The Entire History of Pookesville in 31½ Pages
.”
“Well, it’s not that big of a place,” commented Howie.
Freddy flipped through pages and then stopped. “Omigosh, Howie, look at this picture.”
“That’s the Burger Castle!” said Howie excitedly.
“Shhh!”
They both looked up. The librarian had come around the corner and was looking at them very severely. “This is a library,” she said quietly, “not a sock hop.”
As she went away, Howie asked, “Uh, Freddy, what’s a sock hop?”
Freddy was reading the story accompanying the picture of the Burger Castle. He said absently, “I don’t know. Must be something only really old grown-ups know about.” He straightened up and turned to his friend. “Listen to this. I was wrong. The people who owned the Laundromat didn’t build the Burger Castle building. It was there a long time ago. It says here that the place used to be a private home.”
“Who’d want to live in a place like that?”
Freddy read some more. “A man named Silas Finklebean, that’s who.”
“Silas Finklebean? Never heard of him.”
“Me either, but the book says he was very rich and eccentric. He built the home to remind him of his youth growing up in Scotland. A Scottish castle, I guess.”
“It must have cost a lot of money, even back then.”
“The equivalent of a million dollars in today’s money,” said Freddy, reading.
“A million dollars!” Howie cried out.
“Shhh!”
They looked over to see the gray-haired librarian looking at them again. “This is your last warning. This is a library,
not
a malt shop,” she added shrilly.
As she walked off, Howie said, “Uh, Freddy, what’s —”
Freddy interrupted. “I don’t
know
what a malt shop is either, Howie.” He pointed to a picture of a man dressed in a zebra-striped three-piece suit and a hat and big glasses.
“I guess that’s Silas Finklebean, but you can’t really see his face with the hat and glasses in the way.”
“Gee,” said Howie, chuckling. “He sort of dresses like your dad.”
Freddy continued reading the pages. “It says here that Silas Finklebean was a scientist and inventor. And he made a fortune from one of his inventions.”
“Which one?”
“It doesn’t say. Anyway, he used the money from that invention to build the castle.”
“So how did his castle end up being a Laundromat and then a restaurant?”
Freddy skipped ahead in the chapter. He read a bit and then his face paled. “It says here that one stormy night a long time ago, Silas Finklebean went into the basement of the castle.…”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Howie. “And what?”
Freddy turned to face his friend. “And, he disappeared.”
Howie’s big eyes got even bigger. “When you say ’disappeared,’ what do you mean, exactly?”
“I mean that he disappeared into thin air in the basement of what is now the Burger Castle, and no one knows what happened to him.”
“I really wish you hadn’t told me that. Terror makes me wet myself.” Howie paled and crammed five cheese cubes in his mouth.
“After that, the castle sat empty for years. Then someone bought it, but they couldn’t live there.”
“UMPHGHEU,” said Howie.
“What?”
Howie swallowed the cheese cubes in one orange lump. “Why couldn’t they live there?” he asked breathlessly.
Freddy read some more. “Because strange sounds and weird floating things frightened them away.”
“I wish you hadn’t told me that.
Utter
terror makes me want to
poop
in my pants.” Howie looked puzzled. “But, Freddy, how come we’ve never seen or heard anything like that at the Burger Castle before now?”
“Can I help you with anything?”
They snapped their heads around. There was the librarian again. She sat down and looked at them kindly.
“I’m sorry I was a little abrupt with you earlier. But I have to admit, I
am
curious about why you asked for that book.”
“Do you know anything about a man named Silas Finklebean?” asked Freddy.
She stared at them in surprise for a long moment. Then she said in a low, quiet voice, “Silas Finklebean? I actually knew him.”
“What!” exclaimed Howie and Freddy together.
“I was a little girl back then, but I remember him as if it were yesterday. People called him the town eccentric, but he was always nice to me. And he helped lots of people in town who needed it. A good Samaritan.”
“So how come they don’t have a statue of him in the town square like they do Captain Pookes?” asked Freddy, referring to the soldier who had founded Pookesville.
“Well, I guess they would have, but then he just disappeared.” She added sadly, “And I guess the people sort of forgot about all the good he’d done for them.”
“Gee, that’s not fair,” said Freddy.
“No, it isn’t,” she agreed. “Now, what else can I help you with?”
“We were wondering what Silas Finklebean did to make all that money,” Freddy told her. “The book says it was from one of his inventions, but it doesn’t say which one.”
“Nobody knows which one. And while he was an inventor, I also remember that he was very lucky when it came to betting on things. It seems he never lost.” She paused and looked at them closely. “Why are you so interested in Silas Finklebean?”
“Well,” said Freddy slowly, “my dad owns the Burger Castle.”
She clapped her hands. “I thought I recognized you! You’re Freddy Funkhouser. You won the Founder’s Day Parade competition.”
“That’s right.”
“I’m so glad your family won, because, between you and me, I don’t really like the Spankers.”
“They’re not easy to love,” said Howie, trying not to laugh.
Freddy asked, “Uh, do you have a picture of Silas Finklebean? The one in the book doesn’t really show his face.”
The librarian got up and returned a minute later with a small picture. She handed it to them.
“That’s Silas Finklebean,” she said quietly.
Freddy’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. He grabbed Howie and the book and raced out, leaving the librarian looking stunned.
As they ran down the street, Howie yelled, “What got into you?”
Freddy looked at him. “Silas Finklebean was the guy I saw in the Burger Castle basement. The guy
floating
in midair.”
HAROLD J. PUMPERNICKEL
Freddy and Howie ran from the library back to the school, where a long line of students were waiting to enroll in the science competition. As the two boys took a place at the end of the line, someone bumped Freddy hard from behind. He turned to see Adam Spanker standing there with a nasty grin.
“Hey, Funky, don’t tell me you’re entering the science competition! It’s for people with real brains.”
Howie yelled back, “Freddy has more brains in one of his butt cheeks than you have in your whole body.”
Adam balled up his fists.
“Watch it, Adam,” warned Freddy; “there’re teachers all over the place.”
Adam stuck a big finger in Freddy’s chest. “Yeah, well, there won’t always be teachers around, Funky.” He looked past Freddy and his face brightened. “Hey, Harold.”
A skinny boy with orange hair joined them. Harold J. Pumpernickel was the only kid in school who might possibly be smarter than Freddy Funkhouser.
“What’s happening, Harold?” said Howie.
Harold said shyly, “Hi, Howie. Hi, Freddy.”
Adam grabbed Harold around the shoulders and pulled him close. “Hey, no being friends with the enemy.”
“Are you entering the competition, Harold?” asked Freddy.
Adam snapped,
“We’re
entering the competition, right, partner?”
“Um, that’s right,” answered Harold quietly.
Freddy stared at them, dumbstruck. “You’re partners?”
“Not just partners,” announced Adam gleefully, “but we’re going to win too, aren’t we, Harold?”
“I suppose we have as good a chance as anyone,” he said politely.
“Oh, yeah?” said Howie in a confident tone. With all the teachers around he was feeling a lot braver than usual. “News flash — WE’RE going to win.”
“Ha-ha,” said Adam. “That’ll be the day.”
“We will too win,” insisted Howie.
“Well, if you’re so sure, why don’t we make a little bet?”
“What kind of bet?” asked Freddy nervously.
Adam said, “If I win, Funky, you have to come to work at the Patty Cakes for a whole month, without pay, and you have to do everything I tell you to do.”
“And if I win?” said Freddy.
“Not a chance, but then I come to work at the Burger Dump for a whole month.”
“It’s the Burger
Castle
” cried Freddy.
“Whatever. So, is it a deal, Freddy the Freak?” Adam held out a huge hand.
Freddy hesitated, eyeing Adam and then Howie, and finally Harold Pumpernickel.
“What’s the matter? Are you scared to bet’cause you know you’re going to lose?” sneered Adam.
“Of course he isn’t,” said Howie. “He’s just thinking about what stupid costume he’s going to make you wear when we win, right, Freddy?”
Freddy got a stubborn look on his face. “Right, Howie.” He shook hands with Adam and then yelped as Adam smashed his fingers together in his grip.
“Boy, I can’t wait for this contest to happen, Funky. You’re going to look really cool in a Patty Cakes uniform taking the garbage out. And without you there to help out, that ratty place you call a restaurant will go out of business.”
Freddy’s eyes popped. “Hey, wait a minute.” Then he suddenly noticed that lots of people in line were listening intently.
“You already shook on it,” said Adam quickly. “If you try to back out now, everybody will know that you’re nothing but stinking, yellow-bellied chicken scum.”
Howie yelled, “Well, he’s not backing out because we’re going to beat your tiny brain out.”
“So long, Funky,” crowed Adam, ignoring Howie’s taunt. “We’ll get you measured for the Patty Cakes uniform real soon.”
Harold waved feebly to Freddy and Howie and left too.
As they walked off, the crowd around them disappeared. But then Nancy came flouncing by in a pair of fake leopard-skin pants, brown galoshes, and a pink scarf that went down to her knees.
“Hey, I heard about your little bet with Adam,” she said.
“Did you come here to back us up?” said Howie eagerly.
“No, I came here to tell you you’re going to look pretty stupid in a Patty Cakes uniform.” She blew an imaginary kiss at Freddy. “There’s a sucker born every minute.” And she flounced off.
Freddy yelled after her. “Hey, the circus doesn’t come to town for another month, Nanny Boo-Boo, so you might want to put your clown suit away.” He’d called her Nanny Boo-Boo when he was little, and still did to make her mad.
She turned back around and said in a baby voice, “Aw, are Fweddy-weddy and Howie-cowie so scaredy-waredy of looking stupid-wupid?”
A bunch of nearby students started howling with laughter.
Freddy turned beet red. “Just wait, Nanny Boo-Boo, I will too win and then we’ll see who looks stupid.” He added under his breath, “I’ve got just the thing to take care of you.” But when he looked over at Howie he didn’t look very confident.
“What’s the matter?” asked Howie.
“What’s the matter? What’s the matter! If I lose I have to work at the stupid Patty Cakes and do everything that lunkhead tells me to. For crying out loud, Howie, why’d you say I’d do it?”
“Since when do you listen to me? Besides, you said you weren’t afraid of Adam in a competition of brains.”
“He’s not the brain I’m worried about. It’s Harold.”
“But Harold’s not as smart as you.”