The New Rakes (15 page)

Kara would have laughed if her stomach wasn’t doing somersaults. Did Mike only work with women he’d been involved with? Or was it the other way round? Was the company just a hunting ground for new playmates?

‘You work here?’ Kara asked, trying to keep her composure.

Judy smiled. ‘Part-time,’ she said. ‘When I’m not studying.’

At the mention of studying, Kara instantly thought of Mike and his ‘lessons’. A prickle of embarrassment and confusion washed over her and she took a step backwards, only to cannon straight into someone. She spun on her heel.

‘Hey, Jon,’ she said, automatically checking over his shoulder to see if Ruby was behind him. Half of her hoped to see her drummer turn up and half of her was awash with guilt. ‘Is Ruby here?’

Wordlessly, Jon handed her a brown envelope, ripped open at one end. Frowning, Kara took it and felt inside. She drew out a few sheets of thick glossy paper. They were contact sheets, dozens of thumbnails of the photos Jerome had taken. High colour, pin sharp.

Kara scanned them quickly. There she was, in violet rubber, pouting and posing. Jon was a shadowy figure lurking in the background, looking startled and uncomfortable. Laid in sequence across the page, the images reminded Kara of one of those flick-through books, each picture advancing forwards, with Jon shifting round her, reaching for her, bound to her with ropes. Just looking at the pictures made her skin prickle. They were good shots – horny, stylish, bold. And they reminded Kara immediately of what they’d led to – her with her skirt split open and Jon pressing his mouth against her.
Stupid
,
stupid
, delicious
mistake
.

Keeping her face blank, Kara ran her eyes over the sheets, feeling progressively more uncomfortable as the rope appeared round Jon’s wrists and the shots got wilder. It didn’t help that Tam was breathing down her neck, checking out the sordid poses his best friend had got tangled up in, with the girl he had a history of fucking.

‘Where did these come from?’ Kara said sharply.

‘Someone put them through the door last night,’ Jon said.
His
voice was hollow and dry, as though he’d been smoking all night.

‘Someone? As in Lina?’

Jon shrugged. His eyes were fixed on the sheet in Kara’s hands. She followed his gaze and her breath caught in her throat as she saw what he was looking at. Half-a-dozen pictures of Jon with his face in Kara’s crotch. Intimate, candid and quite clearly not publishable.

‘How –’ Kara’s question died in her throat. How had Jerome even taken those shots when his camera had ‘run out of memory’?

‘Ruby saw these?’ she asked Jon, with a feeling like the ground was shifting under her feet.

Jon nodded.

‘But they weren’t there –’ Kara broke off. ‘We weren’t posing,’ she finished weakly.

‘That’s probably what bothered Ruby,’ Judy murmured, studying her screen.

Kara looked up with her mouth open. ‘Has everybody seen these?’ she demanded.

Judy ducked her head to the keyboard and pursed her lips, refusing to answer.

Kara’s shoulders sagged. Behind her, Tam reached out and clapped his hand on her shoulder.

‘It’s OK, Kara,’ he said. ‘They’re just a few photos. Can’t be that bad.’ He rubbed her shoulder gently. ‘Give Rubes a bit of time to cool off. She knows you’re a wild flirt. She’ll come round.’

Please don’t be nice to me, Kara thought. When Tam was kind to her, she knew things were really screwed up. His hand circled the tight knot of muscles at the base of her neck, and part of her wanted to sink into his hands and let him work out all her problems for her. But not here. Not now. His sympathy threatened to make her dissolve.

Silently, she handed him the contact sheet. The pictures looked more incriminating than the act itself had been. In real life it had been a hazy shimmering moment that slipped an inch too far. Captured on film, the photographs showed Jon with his face in her crotch. Her hand on the back of his head was pulling him closer. There was no ambiguity, no room for explanation or denial.

Tam’s face hardened. A muscle in his jaw twitched. The hand that had been massaging Kara’s shoulder slowed to a halt and dropped away. Silence fell in the bright reception hall, with nobody meeting each other’s eyes.

‘Is Ruby at home?’ Kara asked Jon.

‘Yeah. She doesn’t want to see anyone.’

‘And the session?’

Jon shrugged. ‘There’s three of us here.’

Three of us barely talking to each other, Kara added mentally.

‘We’ll just need to lay down what we can and fill in the rest later.’

‘Tam?’ Kara asked, curling her hands into fists. ‘Are you ready to do this?’

‘I said I’d be here,’ he answered. ‘And I keep my promises.’ He paused, waited for the room to start clearing before he whispered to Kara in a low voice, ‘One of us has to.’

13

SHE WASN’T FEELING
it. They’d messed up half-a-dozen takes already – Kara kept missing her cues and forgetting the words.

‘This isn’t even new material,’ Tam said through gritted teeth. He was downing his third coffee, leaning on a high stool and glowering at her. ‘You wrote this stuff, Kara. You should know how to sing it.’

On the other side of the soundproof glass, Mike crouched over the board next to the engineer and watched everything. Kara hadn’t spoken to him since he dropped her off – she didn’t know where to start or if she’d be able to stop once she did. Now, she ripped off her headphones and slammed her way out of the studio. She rapped on the door to the control room. It swung open and Mike frowned at her.

‘What is it?’ he said. ‘The clock’s running, Kara. This is all costing me and we’re behind schedule already.’

‘I need to talk to you,’ she hissed.

Mike waited, swinging in his seat. ‘So talk,’ he said.

Kara hung on the door, chewing her bottom lip. She glared at the engineer, who finally muttered an excuse and scuttled out of the room. Alone with Mike, Kara took a deep breath and spat our her question. ‘What’s with all the ex-fucks?’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Judy, Lina. All the exes you have stashed away in here. Is it some kind of sex cult?’

Mike blew out a breath. ‘Get a hold on yourself, Kara.’

‘I didn’t know Judy worked here,’ Kara hissed, crowding close
in
to Mike. She was close enough to reach out and rake her nails across his arm.

‘Is that a problem?’

‘It’s incestuous,’ she said. ‘It’s seedy.’

‘What, that I’ve been involved with someone I work with? Why should it matter to you?’

‘We’re surrounded by them! All the knowing looks and secret little smiles. The place is lousy with sex. It’ll drive me crazy.’

‘It’s never been a problem up until now,’ Mike said, leaning on the door frame and drumming on the wood with his fingers. ‘We’re all adults here, Kara. I’ve always managed to keep work separate from my private life.’

‘Doesn’t look like that from where I’m standing.’

‘And you think letting Ruby’s boyfriend bury his face between your legs is less seedy? Less likely to screw up the chances of your band succeeding?’ Mike leaned in close now and spoke directly into Kara’s ear. ‘At least be a bit discreet next time.’

‘That’s bullshit!’ She pulled away. ‘Lina engineered that whole ridiculous mess. She’s poisonous.’

‘I think you’re jealous.’

‘I think you’re fucking me around.’

Mike smiled. He swung round and pushed the door open, gestured for Kara to leave. ‘Play the game, Kara. Get back in there.’

She retreated into the studio, aggravated rather than relieved. She should know better than to have expected Mike to placate her. He was all about winding her up – pushing her buttons and watching her spin. Kara slid the headphones on, keeping her eyes fixed on Mike. Behind her, Tam ran through chords, repeating the same riff over and over. Though the headphones dampened the sound, she recognised the refrain instantly.

‘Hold that song for a minute,’ she said, into the standing mike.

There was a hiss of static as Mike opened the channel that connected directly to her. ‘We’re not finished,’ he said.

‘Later. We’ll do it later.’ Kara shook her head dismissively. ‘I’ve got a new track for you right now.’

‘Kara –’

The line clicked as he flicked the switch back to silent. Through the soundproof glass, Kara could see him swearing. The sound engineer was cracking his knuckles and frowning.

Kara smiled. ‘This is brand new,’ she said, jutting her chin towards Tam. ‘Tam, pick it up as we go, OK?’ She closed her eyes for a moment, nodded her head to a silent beat.

‘You want a click track on this?’ the engineer asked.

‘Shh. No,’ Kara said. She took a deep breath. ‘OK. Roll.’

Everyone waited. Kara listened to the thick silence in her headphones. She let the tension in the room swell until it started to warp. Then she snapped her eyes open and looked straight at Mike.

At last, she sang in a low, sugared voice:

‘
Think you’ve got it?

Think you’re it
.

But since I saw you last week I’m spitting out grit
.’

She glanced behind her and nodded at Tam. Lifting his chin, he chimed in with an E chord. Kara’s voice swelled to match it, rising and growing stronger.

‘I can tell you, Mister slick
,

This is not the bitch to spurn
.

She’ll fight you right back, and give you one hell of a burn
.

And like the rest …’

Kara threw her head back and closed her eyes, just as Jon picked up a melody on the keyboard. The song was taking over.

‘She’ll bend over
,

she’ll spread her thighs
,

but like the rest
,

Mister slick
,

she’ll be counting the ties …’

Kara broke off and leaned in close so the microphone was tight against her lips. Mike watched with his arms folded. His skin was dust coloured and his mouth a thin pinched line as Kara sang on.

‘… to the men

who would hold her

and the boys who would try.’

Her hips swayed and Kara felt the relief surge through her at last as she curled over the microphone and purred the last line:

‘It’s not so much the secrets as the lies that hurt.’

She fell back, breathing fast, and watched the booth with a mix of attitude and uncertainty.

Mike said nothing. He stood with his shoulders rigid, staring at Kara as though he were thinking hard. Eventually the sound engineer broke in and defused the stalemate.

‘Sweet,’ he said, shrugging. ‘We could use it as filler. Little end track.’ While he fiddled with the mixer and asked Jon to replay the keyboard riff, Kara watched Mike out of the corner of her eye.

He leaned forwards to open the channel. Again she heard the static in her headphones and Mike’s voice coming through as smooth and calm as ever. ‘Clever trick, Kara. You’ve got a shining talent.’

There was another subtle shift in the sound as he hit more switches and then his voice came through as dark and sweet as chocolate. ‘And I do enjoy watching you lead Tam around by his prick.’

Kara started, widening her eyes and spinning round to see Tam’s reaction. There was none. Then she heard the low chuckle in her ear.

‘I’ve isolated the channel, Kara. You’re the only one that can hear me.’ Through the glass, Mike was leaning back in his seat. The engineer had his head bowed over his mixing desk. ‘But, of course, it would take just the flick of a switch to open Tam’s headphones. You wouldn’t want him to hear our private conversation, would you?’

You bastard, Kara thought. She flailed and reached out to grab hold of the microphone stand, needed to hold on to something cold and solid. Hearing Mike’s voice when no one else could disorientated her and the thought of the things he could tell Tam made her feel sick. Pressing her lips tightly together, Kara shook her head.

‘Good. So you’ll do as I tell you.’ Mike smiled. He had her caught like a fish on the end of a line. Worst of all, Kara couldn’t speak back, only stand there and mime her responses without letting Jon or Tam know what was going on. She was boiling inside, but Mike’s voice continued in her ear. ‘We’ll go back to “Turn on Me”,’ he said, ‘but this time I want you to do it
with feeling
.’ His smile twisted unpleasantly and he bent in low to whisper in the microphone. ‘Turn him on, Kara. Make his prick hard and I’ll keep all the seedy details between us.’

Kara frowned and shook her head violently. She must look
like
she had a flea in her ear, she thought, but there was no way she was going to make a fool of herself in front of everyone. Tam was still in cool-and-aloof mode, his blank indifference hiding God knows how many shades of contempt.

‘I know you can do it,’ Mike coaxed. ‘Get Tam’s dick hard and you win my silence.’

He flicked the channels open, called out for the band to start the song and watched from his chair like a film director. Screw you, Kara thought, but she also felt the familiar lightness in her arms and legs, the horny adrenaline rush Mike’s games always gave her.

The opening chords reverberated through her ribs and Kara closed her eyes, trying to calm her breath. She needed to tap into the rage and the arousal both at once, the memory of how Tam and she would spar and scowl at each other; the way it felt to have him slam her up against a wall and slide down her body, tugging at her clothes as he went.

She turned to him as she started singing the verse, watched his blunt fingers trip over the fret board and his face set in concentration. He wasn’t even looking in her direction. The distance between them made her hurt and she felt her knees get weak, prayed that Mike would drop his new game and let her just get on with the song. If she worked hard enough maybe she could forget about Tam for the next few hours.

‘Get closer to him,’ Mike whispered, and she knew he was speaking to her alone.

She circled closer, stood in front of Tam and looked down at his guitar. It was slung on his lap, held close to his body. Like a shield, she thought. He wouldn’t face her, kept his head bowed over the instrument and his eyes turned down. Did he know what was going on? Could she touch him?