The Next Thing on My List (23 page)

‘ That movie was terrifying!’  As I typed, Bob, you’ ve always been my protector, I made a mental note to never let my child watch such a scary film. What were my parents thinking?

‘ Goodness& Oh, hang on again, the pan’ s boiling over.’  The phone was set down, and I heard clattering and shouting to my dad about whether or not he wanted the stove turned off.

When she finally came back, I said, ‘ Sounds like you have things to handle there. I’ ll let you go.’

‘ I do need to run to the store again.’  There was a pause, and then she said, ‘ But sweetie? Give your brother a chance. I know he wasn’ t always overly affectionate when you were growing up. He could be a bit of a pill. But the two of you had your moments. You were always watching TV or playing games or listening to those albums. You know, he’ s changed over the years. You should see him with Charlotte. He dotes on her, treats her like a queen. I don’ t know, maybe he needed to grow up. And-now, don’ t be mad at me for saying this-but maybe you don’ t always give him a fair shake.’

After hanging up, I went back to typing the letter, wishing I’ d set out to show my gratitude to my brother in an easier way-like baking him a pan of brownies or offering to wash his car. Still, I managed to scrape together a few reasons I was grateful to have him as a brother. Turned out Sebastian Forbes wasn’ t the only one around here who could write fiction.

MRS. MANKOWSKI waved a shrimp in the air. ‘ If I were going to die tomorrow, I’ d go skydiving.’

‘ Good heavens!’  my dad replied, clearly horrified. ‘ I’ d much rather die in my sleep.’

My mom had to explain, ‘ Martin, I believe she meant before she died.’

The list was the talk of the annual Ku party. I’ d been there since two o’ clock, and in that time I’ d learned more than I ever wanted to know about my parents’  friends’  unfulfilled dreams. Lots of skydiving, traveling, scuba diving, ballroom dancing, and novel writing has gone undone, I’ ll tell you that. Poor old Mrs. Gorman said she wanted to learn a foreign language, and her husband-who’ d taken to finishing her sentences because she kept forgetting what she was going to say-snorted, ‘ Why don’ t you start with English?’

As soon as I saw my brother’ s wife, Charlotte, I was glad I hadn’ t brought up the adoption yet. She was easily thirty pounds heavier than I’ d seen her last. More than that, she looked dour and bloated. Her normally heart-shaped face seemed to have tipped upside down, and her blond hair hung limp and dull. I’ ve heard those hormone shots are miserable. If you’ re going through that and are, to date, still childless, I’ m assuming babies in general are a sore subject. I’ d called Susan before the party and told her to remind Chase that the subject was off-limits. I knew he got the message, because as soon as he walked in, he caught my eye and pantomimed turning a key at his lips.

After a few hours, the party had dwindled to immediate family, Susan and Chase, and a few assorted neighbors. The sun was going down, and the blazing Valley heat was finally ebbing. My parents had fans and misters going all day-it’ d been a scorcher. We sat on lawn chairs in a circle on the patio, that lazy party-almost-over feeling setting in.

I took a swig of my light beer, my beverage of choice for the day. My dad makes a killer mai tai, but I don’ t go near them. Those babies sneak up on you. ‘ I don’ t get the attraction to skydiving,’  I said. ‘ Knowing me, I’ d leap into midair and then realize I forgot to wear my parachute. Or I’ d be wearing my parachute, but I wouldn’ t even have fun because I’ d be so worried about pulling my cord on time.’

Susan-who apparently didn’ t get the memo about the mai tais-slurred, ‘ As shoon ash the boysh are grown, I’ m gonna shkydive. Ish my life’ sh dream.’  Chase caught my eye and winked. The wink said, Bet I’ m going to get booty tonight-and it’ s not even a holiday.

‘ How about you, Bob?’  my mom asked. ‘ What would be on your list?’

‘ Hard to say. At this point in my life, I don’ t worry about those sorts of things. I’ ve got Charlotte, a great house, a solid job& I don’ t need to ‘ do’  things to feel fulfilled.’

Hello-was that my brother who said that? It looked like my brother. Same brown, short-cropped hair, same Delaney nose, same teen idol dimples. It was starting to make sense why Charlotte couldn’ t get pregnant-aliens had obviously kidnapped my brother and were wearing his body as a disguise.

My mom shot me a look. See?

Charlotte beamed. ‘ Can you believe this guy?’

Susan lifted her mai tai to take a sip but missed her mouth. ‘ That’ sh beautiful, Bob. Jush beautiful.’

‘ That’ s what I’ m always trying to tell my brother,’  my dad chimed in. ‘ He’ s always boasting about how his kids did this and that& one’ s a doctor& one’ s a big la-de-da producer. And I think, What a blowhard. My kids won’ t wind up doing a damn important thing in their lives! They won’ t save anybody’ s life! Won’ t write a novel! Hell, my daughter’ s pushing forty and she’ s not even married!’

‘ I’ m thirty-four!’  I sputtered.

‘ And you know what?’  he continued. ‘ That’ s because we Parkers know what life’ s about. It’ s about being with your friends, drinking and having a good meal, listening to Roy Orbison on the stereo. It’ s not about your silly doctorates and your 4.0 grade-point averages.’

He lifted his glass in a toast in the fading light, and we all did the same, with me wishing my father could learn a new form of bragging.

‘ Well, I’ m glad there are only six things left to do,’  I said, bringing the discussion back to the list. ‘ Then I can go back to being the same lovable loser I used to be.’

Mrs. Mankowski preened at me. ‘ So is there anything on the list about finding a husband?’

‘ Tick tock!’  Mr. Mankowski felt compelled to add.

And to think I used to go over every summer and help those people make jelly.

‘ June will get married when she meets the right guy,’  my brother (or so he appeared to be) said.

‘ Thirty-four is nothing,’  Charlotte agreed. ‘ And these things can happen so quickly. I’ ll bet one day she’ ll call out of the blue and surprise us. Tell us she’ s in love and getting married.’

Just as I was wondering if I could sneak into the house and add an addendum to the gratitude letter I planned to give my brother before he left, Susan waved her mai tai around drunkenly and said, ‘ Acshtually, June doesh have a big shurprishe!’

A chorus of ‘ What!?’  ‘ Tell us!’  ‘ Surprise!?’  rang up from the group.

I was going to kill her. ‘ I don’ t know what she’ s talking about,’  I said, trying to make a face that said, Who you going to believe: me or the drunk?

‘ I’ ll bet you met a fellow!’  Mrs. Mankowski cried. There was my answer.

‘ Ish a biiiiiiig shurprise.’

‘ You’ ll have to excuse my wife,’  Chase said. ‘ She tends to hallucinate when she drinks.’

Mrs. Mankowski improved her guess. ‘ She met a fellow and she’ s engaged!’

‘ The shuprishe ishn’ t a guy. Iish a giiiiiiirl.’

Chase shushed Susan. My father paled. ‘ Oh dear.’  There was much clearing of throats.

‘ Ish time you told everbody. The happy day is almosht here!’

‘ Is that legal now?’  Mr. Mankowski asked.

Susan was so going to pay for this. I was going to reserve a spot in hell for her where it’ s Las Vegas 24/7.

‘ I’ m not a lesbian, okay?’  I snapped. ‘ The surprise is not that I’ m gay.’

‘ Oh, thank goodness,’  my dad whimpered. ‘ How would I ever face my brother?’

My mom elbowed him. ‘ We would have loved you anyway, honey.’

‘ So, what is the surprise?’  Bob asked.

Out of fear that Susan would blurt it out anyway, I said, ‘ It’ s not final, so that’ s why I didn’ t want to say anything. But when Deedee has her baby in August-’

‘ Deedee’ s her Little Shishter,’  Susan provided helpfully.

‘ As I was saying, when she has the baby, I’ m going to adopt it.’

If silence has a sound, then it became very, very loud at that moment.

Susan broke the quiet. ‘ June’ sh gonna be a mommy!’

‘ By yourself?’  Mrs. Mankowski asked.

‘ Yeah. The girl’ s only fourteen, and she was going to raise the baby herself otherwise. And I’ ve always wanted children, so it seemed& ‘  I let my voice trail off. I don’ t know what reaction I was expecting, but this wasn’ t it.

My mom rubbed her forehead. ‘ I don’ t even know what to say.’

‘ Congrashulations! Thash what you shay!’

‘ We’ ve caused enough damage. We’ ll be going now,’  Chase said, hefting Susan up. He nodded to my parents. ‘ Thanks for the party.’

‘ Yesh. Shank you very mush.’

Charlotte jumped to her feet. ‘ Congratulations,’  she managed to whisper through the tears that were starting. ‘ That’ s wonderful news.’  She turned and ran into the house. Bob followed her.

It got quiet again, and then my dad said, ‘ You’ re not adopting this baby with another woman, are you?’

I didn’ t dignify his question with an answer and instead went to check on Bob and Charlotte. When I got inside the house, Bob was wheeling a bag from his old bedroom.

‘ You’ re leaving?’  I asked.

‘ Yeah. Charlotte’ s in the car.’

‘ Bob, I’ m sorry. I didn’ t want to say anything today.’

‘ Don’ t worry about it. We’ re going to hit the road. I was about to come say good-bye.’

‘ Mom told me everything you’ ve been going through, and-’

‘ I’ ve got to run& don’ t want to leave Charlotte sitting there.’

‘ Can I go talk to her?’

He shook his head. ‘ It’ s nothing personal, June. It’ s going to take her a while to wrap her head around your news. We’ ve been wanting a baby for so long.’

‘ But Mom told me you didn’ t want to adopt.’

‘ It still hurts. That’ s all I can say.’  He reached an arm around me to give me a quick hug. ‘ Congratulations.’

‘ Thanks,’  I said softly. Then I handed him the letter in an envelope. ‘ It’ s no rush reading it. Just stuff I wanted you to know.’

From there, the Mankowskis couldn’ t scoot out fast enough. My parents and I cleaned up the party without a word about the baby. We were tipsy and tired, and the Parkers never talk about anything if it can possibly be avoided, and thank goodness, at that point it could.

IT WASN’ T UNTIL the next morning, over a breakfast of leftover tiny sandwiches, that I had a chance to discuss the baby with my mom. I let her tell me every parental horror story to try to dissuade me from making a rash decision. I nodded patiently and smiled as she outlined the sleepless nights and hurt knees and sassing back I could expect.

‘ Don’ t get me wrong,’  she said, sipping her coffee, elbows on the table, ‘ I’ m delighted I’ m going to be a grandma. And you might have to get a bigger apartment to handle the stuff I plan to buy that kid. I just wonder if you’ ve thought this through.’

‘ Sometimes it’ s all I think about.’

She set down her cup. ‘ I’ m going to play ‘ what if.’  What if the perfect man comes around tomorrow and says, ‘ I want to marry you, but you have a child’ ?’

‘ Then he’ s hardly the perfect man, is he?’

‘ No,’  she replied. ‘ I suppose not.’

‘ Now let me play ‘ what if.’  What if the perfect man never comes around?’

‘ Oh, sweetie,’  she said, clasping my hand across the table. ‘ He will.’

Chapter 19

A t the last minute, Marissa’ s mom and grandma begged out of the ride I’ d offered to Las Vegas. Instead, they said they’ d fly up and meet us at the hotel. I suspected they weren’ t eager to spend five hours on the road trying to make conversation-which might have offended me had I not been dreading the very same thing. I’ d need every minute of the drive to psych up for the weekend to come, which was why I was about to bitch-slap Brie if she didn’ t stop talking about what a long-ass drive this was, and why didn’ t we bring DVDs for the player?

It was eight o’ clock by the time Martucci pulled the Rideshare Mobile into the Flamingo parking lot. We checked in and headed up to our rooms. Marissa’ s mom and grandma had already arrived, but Troy hadn’ t. (And, ha! I’ d told him those carpool lanes would save us time. Plus, Martucci had driven straight through. Brie and I were able to use the bathroom in the motor home, and apparently Martucci had a bladder the size of an oil tanker.)

After calling Kitty Jones, Marissa’ s mom, to arrange for all of us to meet in the lobby in an hour, I collapsed on the bed.

‘ What is it about sitting that makes me so tired?’  I whined. ‘ It makes no sense.’

Our room was your standard two beds, dresser, and TV. From the window we could see across to the Bellagio. The fountains in its man-made lake were in the middle of doing their laser water show. It was both beautiful and grotesque, considering how much water was being wasted in the middle of the desert.

Brie disappeared into the bathroom, and I closed my eyes to relax. The next thing I knew, she was saying, ‘ C’ mon, wake up! We got partying to do.’  When I opened my eyes, Brie stood over me, squeezed into a white halter top and white leather pants. Her hair-these days a shoulder-length weave streaked with hot pink-was pulled high in a ponytail.

‘ Darn,’  I said. ‘ That’ s what I was going to wear.’

‘ It’ s almost nine. I sure hope you plan to spiff up.’

Begrudgingly, I dragged myself off the bed. This was nothing I was looking forward to-why had I let Martucci talk me into a party? I should have simply flown them up for the Wayne Newton concert and flown them home.

Too late for that now, I thought, dressing in a short skirt with no stockings, heels, and a fitted jacket over a tank top. I brushed my teeth, slapped on a bit of makeup, and fluffed my hair. A good long look in the mirror-followed by more makeup and fluffing-and I was ready to go.

‘ Okay, we’ ve got to work out a code,’  Brie said. ‘ If there’ s a sock on the door handle, it means don’ t come in.’

‘ Oh hell, no. I’ m getting a good night’ s sleep. Don’ t even think about bringing a man here.’

‘ It’ s not like I’ d let him spend the night.’

‘ No! No men! Are we clear?’

‘ Every party needs a pooper, that’ s why we invited Ju-’

‘ Excuse me?’